>hanging out with roommates in common room
>one of them lifts their arm while telling a story
>instinctively flinch because dad used to hit me
>they all freak out and think I'm currently under abuse
>spent thirty minutes with my RA telling her that I'm not attending classes in summer to evade abuse
I thought I was supposed to forget about these problems and they would go away.
You Asian? My parents used to bash me too.
Half, dad was the gook one.
Are you a boy xor a girl?
I have a vagina and it my original genitalia.
>gook
Korean or viet.
Ah bloo bloo
Nobody cares
Korean. Thank god my mom won the name argument.
You raised buddhist or Christian? How many Confucian ideals were you raised with?
iktf. I am also a hapa
Nice blogpost roastie.
You got trips so I wont sage, have fun with your attentionwhoring.
I am full and grew up getting hit all the time. But the worst things weren't the beatings, they were the smashing of the DS, ripping of the pokemon cards, and removal of privileges.
>Lifts their arm
Amateur move. You gotta break with the hips first and only throw the fist when your whole weight is already behind it.
It's funny you say that. My dad was very firmly non-religious. He came to the US to chase a missionary who absolutely wasn't interested and apparently gave him no chance once he got here. I'm pretty sure he came here entirely on his own accord and really didn't have reason to believe she would marry him if he just showed up. He gave up everything he had in Korea to come here. I think that's why he ended up so bitter and angry. He gave up his life for nothing. Once my mom divorced him she tried to start going to church but it never stuck. I did meet my grandparents from Korea once and they practice Confucianism.
That's interesting, fellow Asians should stick together. If you have a discord, it wouldn't be bad to talk about shit from time to time.
Ein#4555
Is it normal for hapas to be abused? There aren't many here other than Hispanic blends.
I'm glad you're full. Was your meal also tasty?
My dad was a cheap ass so he wouldn't break anything. I don't know how much it would hurt me anyway, I didn't have much in terms of toys.
My dad was a fan of the big threatening hand floating over you move.
Sorry I don't know if this was my intent. I hope you find people to talk to though.
>hapas being abused
Yes, but most Asians are too kinda.
A lot of my friends in high school were hit by their parents too. Not really to the level of me but I know corporal punishment is common among us yellow skins. It's interesting that hapas would have more issues than normal Asians. Is it that most multi-race families are "less privileged" or something?
I'm the same way. My dad was a violent alcoholic. Gave me and my brother more than a few black eyes. The only person who ever tried to help us was my second grade teacher, and all that happened is he beat the shit out of us even harder for it. I start panicking if I think somebody is mad and I'm really flinchy because of it.
My father was an alcoholic as well but beatings usually came as a result of not meeting expectations. Grades, chores, health, if you didn't fulfill the task to his desire it usually meant a few slaps. Very rarely would he just grab me to use as a punching bag but it did happen.
Dad had a lot of anger problems, that's why he hit us and our mom. It's not really uncommon in households like ours. Dad was in a gang and I guess violence is how you deal with anything you see as disrespectful when you're in that lifestyle. Usually it was just a backhand to the face or a punch to the stomach or something, but if we made him really mad or he had a bad day then we really got it good.
Hapas don't necessarily face more abuse. If your parents were divorced, that is a more likely source of abuse.
I can't imagine living in a crime-built household. How did it impact life in general? I usually got a good hard slap across my face if I did something to warrant it. A handful of them if it was an issue he had already talked to me about. Like I said I didn't have many times where he would lay into me because of a bad day though. I remember one specific occasion where he came home drunk, looked physically depleted, and just wanted to fuck my mom and go to sleep. I asked him if he could fix my ceiling fan sometime that week and he just lunged and laid a few really hard punches into my ribs. That's the one that affects me the most now.
They divorced after things really got bad. My mom's parents pushed for it to happen, it needed to happen though.
Food was pretty inconsistent. There were a lot of "uncles" around, usually just other guys in the same gang as my dad. I think mom only stayed around because she was afraid he would kill her if she tried to leave. Lots of distrust, couldn't really tell anyone what my dad did for a living. It was kind of a relief when he died because at least we didn't get hit anymore.
>just letting your old man beat you instead of fighting him like a man
Fuckin kek your dad must be angry he raised a little cuck. My dad knows full well that if he layed a hand on me it would be all out war. Anyone who lays a finger on me family or no gets it back in kind as some of mine already know.
I was very young and I'm not a man. Best thing to do was to just curl up in a ball and take your lumps.
That sounds interesting. We never really had people come over much growing up. I wouldn't have minded some "family friends" but my dad wasn't very social. My mom had a hard time going through with the divorce, I don't know if it was fear or lingering love. How are things now?
Don't be mean
Hitting back only makes the next one harder.
it's okay now I guess. I don't have much of a social life and I'm still scared of people. His "friends" would come around for a while after he died, though. Just a few years. They would bring groceries or money and I could tell at least a couple were trying to hook up with my mom.
>Hitting back only makes the next one harder.
I never tried but my brother learned that one the hard way once. Swung back, it did nothing, and he got the beating of his life for it.
Wasn't it obvious the OP was a girl when people cared she was being hit rather than them being laughed at for being weak?
Question for the people that got physically abused
What was your thought process through that situation, like what was the thing that hurt you the most ( apart from the physical pain)
Were you thinking along the lines of "its my fault anyways, i deserves this"or maybe more like feelings of betrayal "how can my own parent so this to me" etc
>"its my fault anyways, i deserves this"
>fear
I just felt like shit.
That's pretty gross if they were just going after your mom. I always figured that there was some level of brotherhood between gang members but it's also a very primal life style so it makes sense that they would just go after available women comfortable with their lifestyle.
I tried to push away once and it made him hit me on the side of the head so hard my ears were ringing.
Like I said earlier a lot of my friends received corporal punishment as kids so I thought that my dad was just a little harder on me most of the time. Once things got harder I started to convinced myself that maybe I should have been a better kid or that he's only doing it because I'm not listening. When it actually happened it was just fear. I had to deal with it because if I didn't things would only be worse.
I got the shit kicked out of me by my parents too. Metal tod, belt slippers, kicked in the back, pulled by the ear, everything
I think the extent of their brotherhood was not going after her while she was alive, and taking care of us for a little while. There were some who were nice enough people. But then there were the ones who you didn't want around because they were into really young girls, like 12 or 13, and would just take what they wanted.
My dad didn't like hitting me with things. He felt his hands were good enough. I'm glad to be honest.
It's strange to think that gang members can be nice people but I also don't see why they couldn't be.
>But then there were the ones who you didn't want around because they were into really young girls, like 12 or 13, and would just take what they wanted.
That sent chills down my spine.
>while she was alive
I meant while he was alive. I'm sure it's obvious but it's going to bug me if I don't correct myself.
>It's strange to think that gang members can be nice people but I also don't see why they couldn't be.
You wouldn't want to meet them in an alley but they were really nice to us. Like a real uncle, almost.
>That sent chills down my spine.
I was 10 when my dad died and I got eyes from one of them whenever he would come over after that. I didn't get why but it made me really uncomfortable.
It's probably a bit of a trope just I can't can see the whole "big bad guy is sweet to the people he cares about" thing being real.
Did any of them actually end up doing anything to you or trying to? I hope not. Thank goodness if they didn't.
Wow I really butchered that sentence. I meant "I can see"
It's sort of a 'take care of your own' thing, I guess. I'm sure he wasn't a nice person to most people but I have pretty fond memories of playing video games with one of them.
>Did any of them actually end up doing anything to you or trying to?
No, I think they were scared to actually try something.
I know that pedophilia is heavily frowned upon in a lot of gang "scenes." Obviously not all of them, but I've read all those stories about prisoners getting butchered by inmates if they got in on doing stuff to kids.
Yeah, that's what I hear. But you would hear them brag about getting with obviously underage girls, so I guess there must be a cutoff? Maybe once the girl is a teenager it's okay.
It's speculation and probably sounds ridiculous but I know in a lot of less developed countries women get married as younger teenagers much more often. It's possible that the more primal lifestyle of gangs could lead to a similar result with that. I don't know. I'm just blabbing.
That's a possibility. I'm glad to be away from that. Still have nightmares about my dad, though.
Okay this is something that I actually know about. Nightmares regularly occur in for people with a lot of trauma and PTSD. Psychologists think that dreams are meant to allow the subconscious to better align memories and emotions so if you have a lot of bad dreams your subconscious is struggling to handle those memories or something. Okay maybe I didn't know, I just had some random thought that didn't really mean anything.
Well, it happens a lot. If I have a nightmare, it's always about him. Sometimes I get weird layered ones, where I "wake up" but it's just another nightmare. Some Inception shit. Had one like it last night, with 4 or 5 layers. Most of the details are fuzzy.
I don't sleep very well but bad dreams are pretty infrequent. That sort of stuff can be really bad for your overall health. What sucks is there really isn't much that you can do about them either I think.
I have a lot of normal dreams too. Just more nightmares than normal. This one didn't wake me up during the night, though. They usually do, so that's kind of weird. Took a while to convince myself I wasn't still in a dream when I woke up for real.
I wonder if you have some sleep paralysis or something. Usually that "dreams creeping into real life" feeling is from that and I think they're more common if you have a lot of bad dreams.