/r9gay/ - #382

what kind of inside jokes?

post-ironic meta humor?

>tfw developed tons of inside jokes with my friends

>"how is that a feel?", "was that just a way to tell us he has friends, what's the point", "i'm going back to bed, screw this"

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Imagine being so autistic that you do anything to not be a normie

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cool
now you can safely leave this thread

yea or really dark stuff, me and my sister have this inside joke about "Jeff" who is my spirit anime but hes a really bad influence and makes me smoke and drink and sell my body. hes an eagle but takes the form of a balding middle aged man, the implication being that hes not a spirit animal at all.

imagine being so normie and delusional you imply im actively preventing myself from travelling and doing outdoorsy stuff just because you think I'd consider myself a normie
occam's razor brainlet
next move?

i agree, if you have friends or even a bf thats good for you but dont bring it up here its making everyone else feel bad.

Theyre online friends that ive never met irl and they basically forced me to be their friend. Its kind of funny.

does he ever hit you with a big fat
MY NAME JEFF
?

I think we could do a better summary than that.

Last time on r9gay v.2
>user shows discord boys his dick for attention
>People discuss asexual bfs
>Ohio bf
>How to get femboy bfs
>"Is my internet friend gay?"
>Book readers enjoy the rain together
>Old cartoon references
>femdom
>anonymous is over 30
>diaper user returns
>everybody hates kero!

and as always
>tfw no bf

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>tfw no squidward bf

>he foiled my attempt to confess to him

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>ohh no. Hes hot!

Squidward was very gay.

>Lol so randumb
>imaginary friend thats totes ridiculous lmao
>so zany and wacky
>I'm not like teh othar boiz
I'm so glad you dodged the sept

you tied your best and you failed miserably, the lesson is never try.

>tfw im such an emotional cripple that this insult is going to stick with me for days.

sorry user, ill shut up.

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I'd go to Poland so I can bang my LDR obviously

no, i just need to regroup, get my strategy back in order.
you know, now that i think of it, he hasn't called me cute or attractive of complimented me on my looks, so i think i need to reach that milestone first before i ask him to have my babies.

Original butt babies?

*boipregnant with his boibies

however it works

I unironically hope it does your personality sounds insufferable

i'm going to tell you to cut your losses but you wont listen and thats fine, some lessons can be learned but not taught.

>cuteness is a milestone

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guess youre too ugly to consider it a milestone

i am cute, i just gotta get him to say it out loud.
but there's nothing to learn here, except a new strategy

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>become cute for 1-5 years
>your bf cucks you after that and finds someone young and cute again
People who look for cute are scum.

user is catty

where is my Asian bf? id even take one of the low tier Asians like a Taiwanese or a flip.

>tfw discord boi in my area is coming over again to tug each other's peepees and talk about crypto

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>touching peepees with someone who's not your husband.

Thanks for making me sad before I go to sleep.

hehe he squirts his widdle cummies so far!
even with my head on his chest it hits me all over my face :3

how do you make yourself more attracitve? i was thinking of losing weight, but i'm already skinny and a wristlet according to some guy here, plus i already ate 6 oatmeal cookies today so it seems like a planned failure.

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Sounds like you need to put on a little bit of muscle more than lose weight

>tfw no asexual bf
>tfw no depressed bf
>tfw no bf to discuss existence with
>tfw no bf to die with

you don't, simple

Skincare, hair care and styling, clothing.

Work on your social skills and personality.

Look like a anime and every faggot from here will love you.

those last two things suck, but i can at least start taking care of my skin
i already have the mop hair, now i just need red contacts and white hair dye

>red contacts and white hair dye
Not cute

you're right. i wish i had darker skin so i could full contrast hero with white hair.

where is my BF who want to cuddle and watch late 90s early 2000's anime with?

Any other user drinking tonight? If so, then why? How has every anons day been btw?

>Tfw no sweethearted bigger bf who would drink with me

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>alcohol
disgustin'

Ook r u here

my pee is clear, who wants a healthy bf?

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i've been drinking to forget just how good it was, i was drinking with you then i'm drinking till noon, now i'm drinking by my self.

Why is it disgusting? I'm just drinking something nice and comfy. Disaronno and cranberry juice is very comfy.
I drink alcohol very rarely and get drunk almost never.
What?

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I'm not drinking yet because it's still early in the afternoon here in the US, but I will be later. Presumably you're over in the EU, otherwise I'd probably apply for the position of being your sweethearted bigger bf.

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How would you react if your bf admitted that he's been arrested before? What if it had happened multiple times? Not for anything very serious, although one was a felony. The charges were all ultimately dismissed, he's never been to jail and doesn't have a criminal record.

Would you think of him differently after learning about this history of bad behavior?

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That's reasonable, drinking in the afternoon is not the best idea. And yeah I'm from the EU but i don't think you would want to apply for that, even if you were from the same country and all, I don't deserve anyone.
What are you planning to drink? Also are you a /lit/fag? If so then do you have any nice fantasy/post-apocalyptic/mystery book recommendations? I'd love to read a good book, haven't read one for some time.
I wouldn't think of him differently at all. I'd probably stick with anyone who would love me back, even if they committed murder.

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well in this scenario i have a bf so id assume i've been trapped in some kind of lotus eater machine and enjoy myself.

Arrested? I don't give a shit, I've been in plenty of scenarios where I could have been arrested myself.
If he has been to jail then it depends on the crime.

you can just say "I", user

I wouldnt care as long as he doesnt try to hurt me in any way.

>over 25 and still didn't kill yourself
literally why?

>not wanting a 25+ bf

>had a dream where we were together instead of 2000 miles apart
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Suiciding before even the halfway mark of your life is like shooting up the school because the first guy you asked out didn't instantly fall for you.

You seem like a good boy, I'm surprised that you would condone murder.

Fair enough user. Have a cookie and enjoy yourself.

Jail has the distinction of housing criminals whose sentence is 12 months or less.
So even then it would be something fairly mundane.

Asking for a friend, user.

What if he made sure to ask permission before hurting you?
You know, just to make it more exciting in bed.

>suicide is exactly like killing a bunch of teens
yeah, no, retardo

Life cultists think it's worth delaying the inevitable.

Then its fine, i meant it more in a way like stealing from me or doing stuff behind my back.

A mentally ill good boy who is lonely, starved of attention and love, very loyal and very dumb. I don't really know what i would do or how i would feel really, I'd probably not condone murder, i don't know.
Oh and thank you for complimenting me, you are the first person to ever call me a good boy, it feels nice.

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If he wasn't arrested I'd happily put it down to him being a minor delinquent who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And minor delinquency is kinda cute

i mean if the charges were dismissed, not if he wasn't arrested
I'm retarded ignore me please

i think missionary would be the best position to lose your virginity in since i'll get to see the other guy's face as i go in

How degenerate hypothetically is it to want like a 3 way relationship? Say like, 2 feminine bottoms and one very masc guy who kinda provides all the "regular dude" stuff for the two femmes that feminine guys generally lack?

The masc dude doesn't have to be like the sole provider or anything either. Hes basically just the man of the relationship and everyone just kinda loves one another

I mean, he's your bf so obviously that's out of the question.
Even if he might do bad stuff sometimes it would never be to you.

user you shouldn't admit stuff like that so easily.
Be more careful or somebody might end up taking advantage of you.
Just a little flirting and you'd be wrapped around their finger.

It's actually very common for charges to be dismissed.
Usually when it's a minor crime and it's ultimately been made right.
Pay a fine, do some community service, and stay out of trouble.

>minor delinquency
One of the charges may have been "criminal mischief."

I see
Well any crime minor enough to be thrown out with a fine or community service is very far from a dealbreaker unless they make a habit out of it
And come on how can I not think "criminal mischief" is at least a little bit endearing?

I may be wrapped around their finger but they would drop me instantly after talking to me for some time. I'm trash user, why do you think i am lonely?
I'm doomed to be alone because i can't talk to anyone.

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Did I make myself gay.

I've been super bored on discord lately and been sexting with a lot of boys, even cam, etc.

I have an extraordinarily big dick, so it's really easy to get feminine looking to do stuff for me on camera, etc.

I got accustomed to it over the last weeks, some of the really hairless and skinny ones are pretty fappable, but I still can't get past the voice.

Now today I got a chick on, pretty attractive, nice voice, could barely get hard, much less cum.

Did I meme myself into being gay? I've always liked girls, and have only been bi-curious at best for an exceptionally effeminate twink, I'm legitimately freaking out.

This chick seemed very fuckable, I'm sorry if this post will annoy most of you, but I don't know...

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nah, just sounds like you're prison bisexual

No that's not what I have a problem with, I couldn't get hard or cum for a hot girl. Always been somewhat bisexual, with a very strong preference for girls, maybe 1.5 on Kinsey Scale, I have found attractive guys I'd fuck IRL, but usually that's like 1 in 50 maybe, as opposed to wanting to fuck every other girl.

I don't really care about that, the major problem was not being able to get hard for a girl, if I could find more guys attractive, it wouldn't really impact my life negatively, the other way around, yes.

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That's a relief then.
A lot of guys seem to be really uptight when it comes to this kind of thing.
It's not really an ongoing thing, at least.

I'm sure you're great user, don't call yourself trash.
You're talking to me right now aren't you?
It's easy, I say something then you say something.
Then I say something and the cycle repeats.
Before you know it we've been married for 50 years.

how is 3 and 4's drawings gayer than 2

How big?

I cant imagine you can get people on cam just from ur dick alone...

do you fap daily? sounds like you jerk off to girls all the time and now you found something else that makes you hard.

8.3 inches and 5.9 girth

they probably would on /soc/

>Being far away from people and technology in comfy rural east/SE-asia is a normie desire
what did he mean by this

I mean, I do jack off to gay hentai pretty often, but a lot of straight shit too, again whether and how gay I am, and if I'm actually gay, I don't really care.

What bothers me is that I couldn't get off to a woman, if I could get off to both IRL equally, I'd give zero fucks

well i don't know then, try not jerking off for a week and see what happens then

It's discord and yes they would

I'm not great user, no need for the pointless flattery. Sorry if this may sound aggressive, just a little tipsy and my self hate is above normal levels.
I love talking to people on chan websites where i am a user. But i get anxious and just scared if i try to talk to anyone on discord or something like that.
>Tfw ywn be married to a sweethearted bigger man who makes your life worthwhile

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Anyone into drag?

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>It's discord
but where are you getting the usernames/invites? the abyss?

Drag is a turnoff desu