Tard story

Cont.
>be me, near end of year
>me and hallway guy, now reffered to as "chadbot" are planning something orgasmically spectacular
>chadbot has an idea
>and it is definitely going to work
>first phase has to be completed perfectly, but otherwise it's easy
>for you see, in 5 days, we would be going to a picnic
>the whole school, that is
>first phase consists of gathering friend group
>wearing masks of the anime characters he liked
>keyword: liked
>the plan is to get him to attack us
>however
>some of the kids would act as "bystanders" and report the attack to a teacher
>itstimetoduel.jpg
>i go first
>run up to cory
>"hey nigger, wanna go pick the cotton"
>this triggers him
>much more than i'd expected
>he can swing good for a cripple
>i go down, the rest of my friends throw off their masks
>this is good enough
>cory flips himself out of his wheelchair to beat me
>starts using his casts as a flail or some shit
>i'm being beaten on by a vegetable tard
>teacher comes rushing over
>shitshitshit.ogg
>quickly muster the strength to hide the mask in my shirt
>teacher gets cory back in his wheelchair and subdued
>teacher asks me what happened
>i begin to lie, and the rest of my friends back them up
>"well, i tried starting a conversation, and he freaked out for no reason"
>fake tears
>known for being a crybaby in my younger days, and a really good actor nowadays, so it works
>cory not only gets taken out of normal classes, he gets fucking suspended for 2 months next year
>tard wranglers arrive in a van
>take cory home for the rest of the school year
>life is good for the rest of 7th grade

Is this gonna end with "Cory's in the House" or something?

Cont.
>be me, in 8th grade now
>chadbot has decided to retire from tard harrassment for a bit
>remember something my mom told me last year
>"you're really good with kids user, maybe you should work with the special ed kids"
>i begin brewing an idea
>i know there's at least 5 other tards in the school
>i've documented them
>there's lard-tard, a potato-faced autist who's almost always accompanied by fred, another nigtard who is super fucking tall and has one of his front teeth halfway in the back of his goddamn mouth somehow
>they pretend to fuck eachother all the time during lunch
>and then there's mr. announcement
>looks to be 16 or so, still in middle school though
>looks fine, is just severely retarded
>makes announcements all the time using the principals' speakers
>principals let him
>but there was yet another tard
>potato polly
>fat downs tard with severe potato face
>dances in the halls all the time
>the brilliant idea strikes me like a black man being hit by policemen
>i begin using my influence to give the tards a natural hatred of cory
>sliding in slight suggestions that they should make it physical
>they start pushing and shoving him in the halls
>carer can't do shit, too absentminded
>cory eventually snaps
>starts fighting fred, lard-tard, mr. announcement and potato polly
>at the same time
>fred's pretty fucking fast
>dodging all cory's attacks
>lard-tard is trying to act like fred
>failing horribly
>he ends up running into the girl's bathroom and crying
>one down
>potato polly starts screaming
>"MAAAAAAAA MEESOOHC"
>her mp3 player is on the ground, stomped out by cory
>she rhino charges that fucker
>nailing him straight into a locker
>sounded like a gunshot
>cory starts screeching and spazzing out
>has she done it
>has she taken down cory
>the answer is no, she has not
>cory bites her nose
>she screams
>he fucking rips the tip off with his teeth
>and swallows it
>AND SWALLOWS IT
>cannibalism.pdn
>nope the fuck out of there
>turns out polly moved schools

even if this shits fake, plz continue...

cont.
>a month after the polly incident
>cory is now constantly sedated and has high security covering his ass
>chadbot and i have to really think of how to fuck with him
>we come up with a plan
>we know that the kids and staff eat different food
>so we just need to find the staff food supply and put something in it
>chadbot finds something in his dad's drawers
>laxatives
>so many laxatives
>yougloriousfuck.dll
>send lady friend, who we shall call "stacybot" to scope out the teacher's lunch area
>she fucking finds it
>way back behind the kids' lunch area
>targetacquired.mp4
>chadbot has me do the dirty deed, since i'm experienced with jew buisness
>put heavy amounts of laxatives in every food they got
>make sure they're hidden appropriately
>hear someone coming
>fuckfuckfuckfUCK
>it's fred
>fucking fred
>"hahhhi ananh. wereh the foodhs?"
>i point him to the lax'd lunches
>"YAARHH"
>he grabs a handful of mashed potatoes
>eating it
>this is happening
>just walk out
>missionaccomplished.bat
>go back to chadbot
>"yo user, look, they're going to get lunch now"
>tard guards leave cory unguarded
>chadbot tries to fuck with cory
>i stop him
>"calm down, chadbot. if we strike now, everyone will know it was us."
>he sits back down
>tard wranglers come back, eating the shit-inducing rations they've been given
>kek
>few hours later
>see cory alone outside my homeroom
>jackpot.png
>ask my teacher if i can use the shitter
>she lets me
>go outside
>greet cory
>he notices my hair and shit
>he screeches, pummelling me through the door
>NOTACCORDINGTOPLAN.JPG
>he starts rhino charging me against the wall
>kicking me in the nuts repeatedly
>my manhood
>no
>suddenly, see a hand on his shoulder
>chadbot slaps him on the back of the head
>saved from cory's death grip
>decide to do something
>look at teacher
>user uses fake tears
>it's super effective
>cory is put in iss for 3 months
>mega kek

cont.
>guy kept fucking with me
>decked him in the face
>get iss for three days
>meh.jpg
>in iss
>something's off
>tard iss
>oh fuck
>OH FUCK
>OOOOOH FUUCK.
>cory is right behind me
>pissed as all hell
>look around
>see a bunch of movie posters
>one thing's different
>every human has cory's face on it
>jesus fuck
>terrified.jpg
>look around more
>tard wranglers watching me and cory
>cory taps me on the shoulder
>fake as fuck smile
>starts mumbling
>"what was that?"
>he screams it now
>"MY NAMHE'S CORY HOW ARE YOAHM."
>mfw yoahm
>he holds out his hand
>it looks greasy
>and..
>white
>WHITE
>HE HAD CUM ON HIS HAND
>i politely decline
>he screams
>flinging his cum on my shirt
>i yell, getting up
>ruined my favorite fucking shirt
>teacher lets me go wash it off
>god damn
>when i come back
>i see a glorious sight
>cory is fully naked
>screeching
>every single adult in the room is bleeding and unconcious
>he's holding a dismembered leg of a table
>wat
>he proceeds to
>and get this
>he proceeds to buttfuck himself with the table leg
>screaming
>he starts jizzing over his tard wranglers
>i proceed to attempt to walk away
>not happening
>police show up
>fucking police show up
>they charge in, past me, getting in the room
>i nope the fuck out of there
>heard cory knocked an officer out with the shit-covered table leg and got tazed
>he ended up being locked up for about 3 days since he's still a minor, and severely retarded
>it's getting interesting now

Keep going, even if this is fake and gay. First good greentext in a long fucking time

samefagging after 3 minutes
original

cont.
>be me, in highschool now
>cory is in same highschool
>somehow not held back
>but one thing is different
>at least 20 more tards were tossed into the mix
>none really important
>but this presents me a new idea
>read greentexts before at this point, so i've been influenced
>two words
>tard. war.
>continue using my child influence on the tards to get them to follow my commands
>start getting each tard to hate all the other tards
>except cory
>cory is naturally violent as fuck
>teachers congratulate me on being so "progressive with the special ed kids"
>bitch please
>ff two weeks
>every single tard is at least somewhat trained in fighting and not being a little bitch
>however
>this may seem like the final act, but it won't be the last of cory
>football game
>sitting with 20 something tards
>all giving eachother glares
>trying to talk with me
>i say a few words that set them all off
>"whoever wins a free for all fight gets to be my beeest frieeeend."
>make sure to emphasize the fact that they'll be no. 1 next to me
>they fucking riot
>start kicking normal people off the bleachers
>cory plays football, and so he's oblivious
>the final thing i need to say to complete this shitcake of oblivion and autism
>"cory's included."
>an army of potatoes, autists, downies and aspies charge cory
>they all hate him
>that's the one thing they share
>chadbot sits next to me, bruised from the tards
>"user, you're really fucking with 'em."
>youdon'tsay.png
>ff 5 hours
>football equipment strewn across field
>grass tinted red from tards bashing eachother with whatever they could find
>more than a few of them hospitalized
>cory is nearly unscathed
>that's when i realize
>no mortal can take down this obelisk of autism
>cory the nigtard is invincible
>but i won't have all this work go to waste
>if i can't beat him
>maybe i can make him beat himself

I call fake

put me in the screenshits

Attached: 0167D42B-8221-4C3A-871E-CE22B0C0AD7F.png (427x576, 343K)

cont.
>nearing the end of junior year in high school
>need to act fast
>find cory
>ask him about if he likes anime or not anymore
>hair up in a ponytail, wearing makeup
>gotta be safe when dealing with tards
>use a feminine voice too
>mumblingintensifies.png
>"what was that?"
>"NARUTO HAAHSE MAIE."
>"aw, poor guy.."
>"ANANUUH."
>"y'know what sudoku is?"
>"Yahe."
>"how about you try that to make naruto like you again?"
>this faggot agrees
>"THANHS HOT LADYEE."
>mfw hot lady
>but that's besides the point
>few days later, cory comes back to me
>"no knahves in mah hose."
>tell him to buy one, giving him money
>he ends up running over to a convenience store after school
>decide to follow him
>he's got a machete
>in a plastic case
>struggling to open it
>he lets out the loudest REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i've ever heard
>throws it at a passing car
>breaks window, gives driver concussion
>car crashes into tree
>he runs over, grabbing the machete
>still not open
>he throws it at me
>barely dodge it
>"OHPEIN."
>see the easy opening tab thingy on the top of the machete
>open that bitch
>he takes it
>make sure not to get my fingerprints on it
>notgettingarrested.ogg
>he takes the machete
>and starts singing
>fucking singing
>some stupid japanese song or something
>"KAANAASHEE WA OMAE AAA HITOSHI AAA"
>something like that
>he continues
>"YORU RERO RERO YONIIII"
>i don't fucking know what he's saying
>and i'm pretty sure i don't want to
>he proceeds to stab himself through the goddamn leg
>holyfuck.com
>he then stabs his other leg
>oh my god
>cory once again becomes a cripple
>just call the police, no questions asked
>cory ends up in critical condition, man who ran into tree is dead
>when he recovered, he was sent to an insane asylum
>mfw thanks to cory's autism and my disguise, they don't suspect me at all
>ff 2 weeks
>chadbot, stacybot and the rest of my friends come up to me
>we laugh about it
>decide to never tell anyone about this
>except right now.
Goodnight, sweet prince.

>Be teenager
>Sperg obsessed with WW2
>Hollowing party is next week
>Get the idea to dress up as Hitler
>Do the bloody thing
>At the party
>Got to a small podium and start shouting random angrily german words
> DIE PANZERKAMPFERWAGGEN KONIGTIGER IS WUNDABAAAAR KRUPP MAUSER LUGER
>Everyone laughs at me
>Go home a few moments later
>Play Red Orchestra Ostfront until the next morning

i have a good tard story:

>be tard
>desperate for attention
>lightbulb.pdf
>log onto Jow Forums.com
>go onto my favourite board [r9k]
>post obviously made up story about a retard
>see the /you/s pour in
>success