Well Jow Forums, I fucked up
>Fell for the "anal isn't gay" meme
>Decided to try it out with my fingers
>Started by lubing up fingers and inserting them
>Doesn't feel great, think maybe not penis-like enough?
>Put a condom on a banana wrapped in duct tape, with some toothpicks as a flayed base
>Insert it, hurts like hell, uncomfortable even with tons of lube
>End up just jacking off with it in my ass and feeling like shit afterwards
Why Jow Forums, why?
Pic unfortunately related
try hitting your g spot u fucking idiot
I tried but it just didn't feel that great, and the shame of having a redneck banana-dildo up my ass wasn't helping :(
tl;dr OP raped himself
try to not touch your penis and only focus on you butt
atleast now you know why gays are delusional OP
OP here
I just shit out a chunk of squashed banana
Fuck this gay shit
Its totally gay and also it sucks . youre retarded
It literally only works if you're gay.
You just gotta train your butt more, its not designed for things to go into it
Trap doujins are really fucking people up
You can't go straight for something big, obviously the hole is small and you'll hurt yourself
origano i think
>toothpicks
what the fuck you're just asking for something to go horribly wrong
>toothpicks
what the fuck OP you're just asking for something to go horribly wrong
holy fucking shit what the fuck is that
no shit it hurt like hell that thing is an abomination
babe origano
OP you disgusting bastard
Fingers can feel alright, are you sure you were hitting your prostate? It takes effort, you need to rub it and push and know where it feels good.
Keep in mind it can be quite difficult to get any pleasure out of it, i've done it like 40 times before moving onto using toys and like 5 of the times were amazing, 10 times were good and the rest were meh.
Really not true user, just picture it as massaging your prostate and organ in your body. Yeah it can be hot imagining yourself as getting fucked by a guy but you don't need to be gay to do that imo although it makes it more fun.
how do you even fit anything inside comfortably? shouldnt the spinchter keep the anus shut?
fake
where is the traces of shit
Try giving it a sniff and find out!
Hey you stupid straightfags,fags, and bicurious individuals its time for anons anal information.
Step 1. never ever use house hold items, you will hurt yourself everytime and will tear something so don't!.
Step 2. Buy a dildo,plug, or prostate massager. Now whatever you do make sure that it has 0 texture on it because that is for women, texture will tear up your ass and hurt like fuck because it is built with the pussy in mind. Bad dragon is actually the best toy shop for males because the owner is a male who uses these products. They are expensive but they are the best products on the market but be careful about size, you should always check the size of them and compare them to things. Alternatively simple $5 dollar vibrators like California Exotics Midnight Vibes, Midnight G, 6.75" are great but becareful to not go to deep.
Step 3. Make sure your toy has the correct lube! The vast majority of toys need water based lube. That means you can use 0 oil based lube and 0 oil based items around your house like lotion and cooking oils.
Step 4. Gently massage your ass with a finger(make sure your fingenrails are cut and not sharp) until it pops in. Press your finger down and squeeze with your butt, this should let you find your prostate faster.
Finally there are 2 pretty ez orgasms and 1 hard one
>plug in butt, normal orgasm from thrusting into someone or jerking off
its the same as your normal orgasm but alot more poweful. When you cum your ass squeezes down on your prostate to push out the fluid harder so it doesn't just drip out of your cock, when you have an object there it squeezes it even harder and also stimulates the prostate more which will make your orgasm feel much better.
>prostate stimulation through repeated touching or gentle thrusting into the prostate while jerking off
Similar to above but it doesnt work as good during sex, its purely for masturbation
>anal orgams
this comes from repeated prostate stim without touching your dick. it take practice
user why on earth would you wrap it in duct tape
Toothpicks what the fuck.
Also try a carrot instead. Banana is way to thick for starting out
how did I know you would mention bad dragon before I even got there in the post?
keep in mind anons, bad dragon is good (and many of the points he makes are valid) and all, but there are actual employees asked to advertise here.
that is all.
now let us talk about prep! Anal for men and women takes prep. Here is what is shared between the sexes
>you must douche your ass until there is no shit left in your body. Purchase a cheap douche and fill your ass with water and then take a massive shit into your toilet, and then do it again until when you whip there is no shit on the paper just water.
the reason for this is nothing ruins the sexual mood more than the smell of shit and it keeps cleanup easy. There are also diets you can follow to make it easier but thats a google search.
Now the unrelated shit that makes it better for men (maybe women?)
>exercise, regularly both weight lifting and cardio
>a good diet full of vegetables and beef/chicken/fish while avoiding sugary shit with the exception of fruits
>nofap, noporn, nosex until you are horny (anal orgasms in general benefit from how horny you are )
finally remember that you are not a woman and professional porn (in general porn where women are topping the man with a toy or gay porn) is never something you want to use for reference. You are going to have to feel yourself out and find what all you like. In general all men can like prostate stimulation but that doesn't mean you should force yourself if you have no interest at the moment. You could be a guy who just likes something in there while you jerk, you could like the feeling of an object penetrating all the way then being pulled out to penetrate again, you could just like very gentle rub on the prostate. Whatever it is take the time to figure it out.
i bought alot of amazon dildos and they just suck is all. If you have other brands to suggest please present them because bad dragon is fucking expensive
next time use peanut butter as lube and thank me later
>Now whatever you do make sure that it has 0 texture on it because that is for women, texture will tear up your ass and hurt like fuck because it is built with the pussy in mind.
Does texture include veins? Most dildos with a base seem to include them. And I've heard too many horror stories to use a regular baseless vibrator.
To try and keep it from breaking open :(
are you fucking stupid? how do you you think you shit?
I ain't falling for this shit again, anal temptress. I now see past the lies of the buttstuff devil, though my ass had to pay dearly for this knowledge
veins can be depending on the dildo. A dildo should always glide in and out, if it has texture or veins it could hurt even with a fuck ton of lube. You are correct about baseless dildos and the danger.
good, if you don't like anal you shouldn't do anal. This goes for everyone, anal is not like in doujins or porn. You will not become a girl with a pussy that is located in your ass.
here is an example of a good male dildo that i had from amaon
amazon.com
>not to big
>no rough texture
>can be stuck on a wall
Stop with the degeneracy you poo fuckers. You fucking dirty bastards. I hope all of you die a slow death.
Well i hope you have a wonderful life, a nice wife, kids, and a job you go to with pride
couple of questions for you fagbag.
why did you wrap it in duct tape?
why did you use tooth picks?
were you shoving this thing all the way into your, and the toothpicks were to keep it from getting sucked into the anus?
btw i've shoved a hairbrush in my ass before.
pretty sure I felt the same level of disgust afterwards too
It originally didn't have the duct tape, but the banana started to split so I reinforced it with the tape
As for the toothpicks, I've heard horror stories of things getting sucked into peoples asses when they do the gay and then they have to go to the hospital. I didn't want to risk it, but it was an unfounded fear because I didn't come near close to having the whole thing in me
please don't ever do anything like this again user. I'm not even a fagbasher but fuck dude you could hurt yourself with this shit.
nah its pretty harmless, u have probably taken shits larger than what his putting up his butt
you ever stuck a vegetable up your ass man? That shit does not feel good at all. Fuck at least when i take a dick it don't hurt.
yes i use cucumbers because im to scared of buying a dildo when i live with my parents so i know how it feels
your just doing it wrong
buy some candles to burn out the smell in your room, helps keep it from smelling like lube and jerking off.
also it smells nice
which smell should i get user
just go by a store and pop open the lid of a scented one and smell it. I like to light one and shut off all the lights while im jerking it.
The one i bought recently just smells like a campfire
Lube and jerking off
idk i already feel gay enough when i have phallic shaped object up my butt so i think adding scented candles to the mix might just make it gay
Jesus. At least you tried. I can tell from your posts that you are disappointed in yourself.
You need to get a proper toy. That thing isn't good for you.
aye you a big manly straight man shoving objects up your ass in a room that smells like cum and condoms.
Here's the secret to putting things in your ass without it hurting op. Just flex as if you're taking a shit, push out.
Then surprise surprise, it just feels like you're taking a shit.
no im twink mode
>do this
>dildo actually went in easier
>didnt even feel it hit my prostate until i relaxed
i think this would be more for if i was dating some guy desu