>Be me >23 and currently living at a South London homeless shelter >Bad enough as it is >Take a shit in one of the less used toilets round the other side of the building so as not to cause people to cue up when I'm having my alone time >Tweet instead of wiping my arse like anybody else would do >Hear footsteps >"Don't worry, the bolt's in place to keep the door locked!" >The door opens
>The >Door >Opens
>"HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN!? OH, MY FUCKING GOD!" >It's the old Jamaican Bong lady with the cane and the limp >Her: "Oh, sorry, user! Didn't know you was in 'ere!" >"T-that's alright!" (It ain't, oh god, it ain't) >She closes the door >"You know this is a girl's toilet, right, user?" She says through the closed door >"Is it?" I reply >Her: "Yeah, it is." >"Damn...even worse LOL!" *Tries to play off embarrassment*
>WHY THE FUCK DO THEY MAKE BOLTS IF THEY DON'T KEEP DOORS CLOSED! FUCKING LEWISHAM COUNCIL.CAN'T DO NOTHING RIGHT!
>Inspect door after she left with trousers round ankles and bum still un-wiped >The bolt *would* work if the hole it was supposed to stay jammed in was drilled deep enough to hold it in place >She pulled the door from the other side, the bolt slid right out
>"With my luck she's already told half the down and outs at this place already!" >Hear heavy knocking on the door >"I-I'm washing my hands, be out in a bit!" >"Open dee door at wance!" Says the Ghanaian matriarch who runs the place >"Look, I know it's a girl's toilet, I'm sorry!" >"Neva com in here again!" She scolds me through the door >"I won't...sorry again." >She leaves >The old lady who caught me with my pants down told on me after all
>Skip dinner and lay on my shitty mattress in sleeping hall >Type this post >Click "Post"
Might update. Ghanaian matriarch wants to hold a meeting in the sleeping hall and I've got a feeling I know what it's gonna be bout.
1 Alcoholic Englishman, 2 Polish day labourers, 6 Caribbean men and the old lady with the cane, 1 Guyanese Pajeet and 2 mixed-race guys in their early 20s (one of whom is yours truly) in here tonight.
That is not the capital that white Englishmen fought and died for. Genuinely glad you are homeless, you parasite. My solice is that with you being ethnic, homeless, poor and in south London is that your life expectancy is significantly lower than that of anyone worthwhile.
Fuck you and your mongrel blood.
Carter Gomez
I feel like a fucking retard. I feel like I have as much right to take a shit in there as the woman who caught me half and hour ago.
Nathan Wright
If you want a fully white area so bad go to Nottingham and see if you don't get stabbed in the middle of Aldi for being a pussy and looking somewhat like a paki even though they don't know you
tell them 1. the door has no signs saying its for women only 2. fix their fucking locks and this wouldn't have happened
fucking retards that they are
Isaac Bennett
Can we just stick to laughing at me not being able to take a shit in piece and leave politics outta this for once?
Andrew Foster
I live in a fully white area. We dont lock our doors, low crime, know all of our neighbours and are all native for generations upon generations.
Fuck race mixing cultural Marxism.
Hudson Hughes
Nottingham ain't white, m8. Whiter than Le 66% London, but still plenty of blacks and Asians out there.
Jonathan Green
To be fair I did laugh at your post
Lincoln Kelly
London is a shit hole, the outskirts are alright but seeing how its gone to shit in the last few years makes my want to bring my grandmother to stay with us for a while. >Its a multicultural shit hole and for the most part it's just the pakis and polacks.
Getting the keys to that sweet, sweet shared house for 20-somethings in the borough just to the east of here next week though. Free of charge too. Paid for by the council, I guess. Things ain't too bad.
Ah, the welfare state. The system where you can miss one too many rent deadlines for your landlord to be able to put up with, get chucked outta your parents' house or have to leave your old flat in a hurry cuz your old roommates wanna kill you for stealing their stuff and not have to die on the streets, curled up next to a puddle of dog piss like in Burgerstan.
Dominic Reed
>user contributes a passable green text >Jow Forumstard turns up and ruins the thread post more op
Cameron Price
Less Jow Forumsack doomsdaying, more funny greentext stories or discussion of said greentext stories.
Can't believe the only thing you lot took from the story was "The lady who caught user taking a shit was a nigger". This is your brain on white supremacy.
Caleb Torres
Thinking bout taking covert pics of the people tryna sleep in here, but I'd feel like a creep.
