ITT: Unique ways to kill yourself

ITT: Unique ways to kill yourself

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washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2018/07/15/a-71-year-old-man-tied-a-gun-to-a-weather-balloon-to-fake-his-own-murder-police-say/
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beeing yourself

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Sharpen all your /toys/ and impale yourself on them.

Shoot yourself with a gun attached a drone programmed to fly away and drop itself into a lake. People will find you dead with a bullet hole and will be certain there is a murderer with an unclear motive on the run.
Bonus points if you leave fake dirty bootprints everywhere.

suicide by dying of old age

That's the most masochist way possible.
I doubt anyone with sane mind would choose this kind of suicide route.

Drowning yourself in a fountain while dressed up in a rainbow zebra costume while playing Madonna's greatest hits

How about suicide by old age whilst spending most of your life in an iron lung from sucking polio dick?

Urgh dude, only shows that things could get worse and worse, giving us a consciousness was an error by mother nature.

>get gf
>get both of you to start lifting
>have her do squats until she can crush watermelons with her thighs
>suicide by gf crushing your head with her thighs

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>over 60 years in a steel tube
>why even live

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he can actually leave the steel tube thou

Not doing your chores and mom is on the driveway

Humanity have a twisted view of helping a fellow human at all costs.

This photo is disgusting, and if an Alien race were to see this, they'd either make this solar system a no-travel area or would annihilate all of us for the better.

Hire a team of psychologists to give you psychosis and then manipulate you into believing that an invisible being can kill you at any time, painlessly. Die from nocebo effect

putting your finger inside your asshole and then farting real hard so your explode from the inside out

Some could. Some couldn't. Both options are shit.

The alternative is likely worse. That compassion which drives people to keep others alive is generally a good thing.

Step 1: be British
Step 2: throw bacon at a mosque

That's just a more technologically advanced version of this.
washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2018/07/15/a-71-year-old-man-tied-a-gun-to-a-weather-balloon-to-fake-his-own-murder-police-say/

Yell nigger in the ghetto.
It would be like when you're playing a video game and you trip an alarm or something that causes all enemies to immediately go agro. Except irl.

Freeze a knife in a block of ice with just the blade protruding from the ice. Jump on to the knife, with your back toward it, and when the police arrive it will look like you were murdered.

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