ITT: We all live in the same house

>is jerking off
I SAID IM NOT HUNGRY LEAVE ME ALONE

Hey, I going to the store. anyone want anything? I getting noodles for myself

It's just a rag in the washing machine

ALRIGHT, WHO THE FUCK CLOGGED THE NUT COMBUSTER?!? THAT SHIT COSTS LIKE 2K TO REPAIRE!

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It's like the 10th time today

All the robots...in the same...YOU FOOLS, IT'S A TRA-

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Does it generate electricity? If so we could power a small city

*lets tank full of junebugs open in the house*
*puts dead fish in the air vents*
*rubs oil into all the floors*

Whose Thinkpad is this? It has a K-On sticker on it!

>*carrying two 5 gallon buckets full of shit and cum*
Alright who the fuck does this belong to

Yeah, like 4 cans of baked beans if you could.

I would uniornically shoot you all to death and take myself out at the end.

I'm coming around to collect piss and shit jugs at midnight, remember to leave them in the hallway by your door.

Ok who slit there wrist in the tub again you're gonna get people sick

Where's the sissy cumslut? It's my turn with it danm it.

No problem buddy but, may I ask why? anything else?

>shotgun blast is heard from my room

That sounds wonderful actually.

WHO CARES IF IT'S THE 10TH OR 20TH TIME TODAY? IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SUCK MY COCK LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

I don't know, I googled "uses for cans of baked beans" but all I got were recipes

>10th time

As if that's impressive.

ok. anyone else want anything? I don't wanna go back twice

>"Hey someone come to the basement and help me lay the pipes?"

what do

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Who wants to watch porn and masturbate together?

Root beer. Lots of it.

get out of our house you do not live here

I guess I'm on cleanup duty from all the robots flocking in here to suicide. Since I would rather live.
I suggest using a rope on account it doesn't leave as much of a mess. Also, if you do shoot yourself, I reserve the right to post the goru on Jow Forums and laugh about how silly you look without the top half of your head.

Nice I'll also get some for myself

I need a girlfriend, pref if she worked at bed bath and beyond so I can get discount bath bombs

three gfs please

What are... what are you doing with them?

I'm gonna need you guys to come with me if you want a request that big

Damn, 3rd one this week.

ew that's gay
I'll cut it down to 2 gfs

Come with??? What kind of errand boy are you? get us our fucking girlfriends and do it quickly

Can you come get these?

understood. to bed bath and beyond I go

Why? For me and another user to eat. also to add to the large stack of bean cans the corner of my room.

To the bastard who keeps cumming on all my anime figs: Stop it. I WILL find you.

A girlfriend and cheez-its.

Whats the point of some anime figs if I can't cum on them?

For you my friend, i'll give you extra cheez-its and the gf

>tfw I came in the milk again
Get to drinking girls!

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oh I forgot, what kind of gf you guys want

This right here is why I'm happy to be your imaginary roommate.

dumping them in the nearby river.

I don't deal with semen, that's some other anons problem.

Then buy your own you lazy NEET.
And feed the damn cats. They've gone feral again.

Optimal and original kek.

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Why would I cum on mine if I can cum on yours? What are you dumb or something?

Okay, I guess I'll claim the K-On Thinkpad, I'll just use it for porn, because no one claimed their Thinkpad.

stop leaving dishes in the sink

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>not having a plastic wrap over your plates and bowls you can throw away when you're done

Either brunette or redhead, 4'10", 105 lbs, light blue eyes, b cups, great ass. Thanks, my dude.

Oh fuck, they're broken. Someone go to the Dollar Tree and buy some more.

Enough so I don't have to see any cunts from the house in my room

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You're gonna turn that river into a toxic waste dump.

None of drink water or shower anyways so it's not problem for us

short brunette coming right up

>move to robot house
>still get cucked
Fuck

How have I never thought of doing this?!?!

Not all of us are innovaters user.. BUT DO NOT WORRY for I have shown you the light, brother.

Just go jizz on his figurines as retribution.

sperg warrior here. If any normies stop by just let me know and i'll deal with it.

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>tfw the only poster who was lucky enough to spawn in and then lock the secret saferoom of the home, which includes all sorts of snacks, food, drinks, and a restroom with shower
Feels good. Hope you're all enjoying the chaos outside.

*dumps estrogen in the water and soda supply*
Hehehe

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It's getting crowded in here, somebody left a piss bottle in my room

Holy shit dude let me in, im not gay or a trap i promise

Last time that that was counted there were, 680 9x12's, 142 12x15 for the anons that can stand living together, 438 6x6 basement lots, and 12 15 bed Barracks.

Though those stats are from march 2017 so I have no idea how off they are.

Do you solemnly swear, declare, and affirm that you will not attempt to ruin my experience here?

Thanks, senpai-a-lam. Knew I could count on ya.

let me on the netflix account
plz

I will keep these lessons close to my heart.

I do solemly swear, declare and affirm on my virginity that i will not ruin the saferoom experience. Do you have vidya, or do i have to bring my xbox 360?

>the robot in the room next to mine just came home with a new shotgun

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>30 fucking idiots messing with QOS settings simultaneously

talk him out of it if you can

Mind your own business and keep your mouth shut or you'll end up on my shit list.

imagine the smell. it would always smell subtly of cum, more so on friday night/weekends

There are some jahovas witnesses at the door, go sick em.

I drink seltzer.

>Want to play videogames
>Somehow every controller in the house is a Mad Catz
WHO KEEPS BUYING THESE?!

Alone in my room. "Those fucking niggers are ruining america! THE JEWS ARE THE ONES BEHIND THAT!" Comes out five minutes later and acts like no one heard me. "Hey guys, can I have some tendies?"

What? Like any of these guys have jobs.

Finishes bag of cheetos and proceeds to examine all controllers, pushing all buttons, toggles, etc. to make sure they work, eating a new bag of cheetos between every two controllers.

You're welcome.

Hey who's been eating my protein powder? Also can someone give me a brojob?

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Any other user's want some of my diapers? I have plenty to spare. Way better than piss jugs and poop socks

Heres one, get him!

fpbp
ori

Hurry up man, let me in. The situation out here has gotten worse, i found two cum jars and a poop sock in my room.

FUCKING NORMIE FUCK OFF REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. WE THREW IT OUT. IT'S ALL GONE. GO DIG AROUND IN THE TRASH FOR IT. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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