Amy Schumer appears in your bedroom at night

Try to convince her that cutting off parts of babies' penises is wrong.

holy shit
she still looks ugly with makeup on
how is this possible???

Allow her to veiw me playing Alex the kid then once she is soaking wet put my penus in her holes and cuddle as we cry tears of joy after the procreation .

tell her to fuck off its late and i am sleeping

youtube.com/watch?v=PRMPQg43wgk

GSC is fucking based. Why can't anime be less autistic and there be more stuff like GSC?

Fucking murder that sjw cunt without implicating myself in it. Actually fuck it, it is public service. Yell I killed her to the moon

How to murder without implication you may ask?
Gloves, shoe covers, and long clothing.
Aside from that, never drop the fucking murder weapon

Call the zoon and animal control scared because of a Hippo in my room

I don't care what anyone says, she was pretty qt around the time of her first stand up special.

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Why do people hate her so much? I'm not american so I don't know much about her and I think she's kind of hot even though chubby. Reminds me of Pam from Archer. Would bang.

That would require japan to go back to the 80s/90s and stop having shit taste.

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Call the police before she starts accusing me of rape and anything else.

But if we are being honest I would not kill her but would be a little disgruntled at her presence.

When she opens her mouth to speak, you will know.

This is originally the only acceptable answer.

I am not saying she is not hot, just that I disagree severely with her ideas

call the police of course

immediately start recording her and sell the footage to tabloids & tmz

Ransom her

Its all blown out of proportion online of course, but shes considered generally unfunny and is often accused of joke stealing, not to mention shes on the ever popular trump bashing train

Being a fan of her is the ultimate bluepill

Bag the face, fuck the rest

Use the opportunity to beat the living shit out of her and maybe accidentally kill her in the process then get away with it because apparently she broke into my home anyway, plus she is much larger than I am so I could argue feeling physically threatened for my life.

Freak the fuck out, grab my big black dildo and beat her to death.

I'm not gonna lie if she was DTF my standards are low enough I'd go for it.

All her "jokes" are either about her vagina, getting drunk and being a whore, or stolen from another comedian. She blames all her downfalls on men and/or anybody right of center politically. She complained to Netflix about the ratings for her special so Netflix changed their entire rating system to accomodate her. She is related to Senator Chuck Schumer who has feigned actual tears about Trump being too "mean" and used children to push his agenda.

She's a hack with a high profile and when people gave her comedy show bad reviews people responded with conspiracy therories about the alt-right which just made them hate her more.

She's a joke thief, yet somehow her comedy repertoire has never changed from her first show. She just talks about how gross she is and what a slut she is. MAH VAGUNNAHH SMELLS LIKE A BARN ANIMAL! LOL!

The netflix changed their rating thing to accomidate her is a meme, the change came way too quickly after that incident for it to have not been a long planned change.

I completely believe netflix switched to thumbs up/thumbs down because the 5 star rating system encourages people to rate pretentious shows with a 4/5 and a sitcom with 3/4, but people actually like to watch sitcoms more than they like to watch pretentious snobby shows. It was an attempt to get people to rate shows more honestly.

punch her so hard she dies

ask her about the "muh vagina" epic funny jokes, yo

i have a bat next to my bed. i would beat that fat bitch to a pulp

I kick her fucking ass, what kind of question is that?

Shes lower than a fucking roach imo

fuck her hard desu

underrated fpbp oeriiri

I have a sword in my room

>going anywhere near Schumer's snatch
disgusting

retrieve my harpoon.

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smash. you're lying if you say you wouldn't no strings attached smash

>lying
I have standards. She is overweight and no doubt emits a funky musk during sex

great, so us girls who are even less pretty than her are unfuckable. male incels dont exist, all secretly picky and shallow.

Scream and then do this.

theres no way sex with her is better than fapping

bang her. won't be the first fat jew i've ever thrown it to

Nah
You're probably baiting, but if you were a woman, just have any reedeming qualities, and you're better off than landwhale schumer

>even less pretty than her
Doubtful

that's a fucking feat to be less attractive than her. Let me guess you have a 4 inch cock?

Engage in self defense with my fists

Her face ain't that bad. Maybe a muzzle but I could do it without the bag.

Why do fat ugly kikes turn me on so much?

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no im an actual girl, the average girl does not look like how you imagine her user, you just only remember pretty or above girls. a lot of us are not as prettier as her and wont ever find love because of it :/

I don't believe you because this is Jow Forums, I'm not a robot, I'm stopping in for the lulz. Every girl I've dated has been cute but not some retarded model-esque woman. I'm sure you are being hard on yourself if genuine.

"Hey Amy say something funny"
And make fat jokes
Also ask her about her friend that put rocks on her baby sister or something
Also kidnnap her and get moneyz, or maybe do stream where everyone pays me to shave her head or beat her or something

Tie her up and rape her!

FPBP

ravioloyui

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>Mag dump
>Reload
>Mag dump