I'll never have a relationship because i'm just too retarded about that.
I want a relationship but i'm insufferable. I write a fuckton load of hearts and am just too caring, and that care never ends, but it always drive people away and make them bored after some time. I'm also jealous as fuck. I don't confront or fight about things, but i do overthink them alot and end up distancing myself from the person as the anxiety about silly things grow. It takes only, for example, the person becoming online for more than 10mins without saying anything and i start thinking i did something wrong, or the person is trading me for someone else, someone more important meybe (that's just ridiculous). Also, i know i do want time for myself sometimes, but in very specific situations. It ends up like a friend asking me to play, but i'd be with a partner and have to let my friend down. Then, in another time, my partner would be doing something else with his friends while none of mine are online and i just sit there feeling like shit. (Just examples, as i have few if any friends).
That's fucking pathetic, and i seriously want to cry because of this but there's no use in it. I'll always be like that. I guess i'm better off alone, unless i find someone like this, but i don't know if it'd be a healthy relationship. It'd have the upsides like covering each other insecurities and never betraying each other, but also have downsides like two idiots being anxious about something dumb.
Anyone else with that angst, or maybe, by a miracle, someone that found a way out of it? (that doesn't includes suicide, at least for now).
I'm exactly the same, I'm pretty sure I'm the crazy ex girlfriend guys write stories about
Jack Morales
Same man fuck.
Jaxon Harris
OP you let your world revolve around another person, like beta male orbiters they orbit oneitis. When that oneitis is gone or gets fucked by chad or whatever they get super angsty and ree. You need to love yourself before anyone else, then you can pave way for a relationship.
Bentley Taylor
How do you all cope?
I seriously don't know anymore... It's almost like saying being in a relationship is (would be) hell as the anxiety eats me inside, but the loneliness is just crippling and debilitating.
>I'm pretty sure I'm the crazy ex girlfriend guys write stories about Heh yeah... I'd jump away from the relationship before i ended up acting crazy, because i overthink about everything, even "what if i do something wrong and the person write stories about me... should i go away...?". This is just ridiculous.
>You need to love yourself before anyone else, then you can pave way for a relationship. I don't think i dislike myself, just how i am which is a thing i find difficult to rewrite. But letting my world revolve around someone else can pretty much be a reason. Wish that was easy to change. Wish i didn't depend that much on other people. Maybe i'm just broken?
I don't really cope I guess.. I just ride the crazy out, I let it all out the crazy the anxiety, the jealousy and hope the person will love me enough to stay.
It hasn't worked at all thus far but one day I'll find my yandere loving shota.
I'm not clingy in the literal sense of the term, but I have a habit of hounding girls I'm attracted to via messaging or skype (provided the feeling is mutual natch) because I'm a sucker for attention and always want to know what they're up to. I feel like this pattern of mine is from deeply rooted insecurity and the inability to never fit in or meet someone else's expectations (especially my own). I blame it on my lack of interpersonal relationships and tendency to overthink everything I do, so for the present I'm going to steer clear of female contact until I get these impulses under control... which might just backfire and exacerbate the problem, but whatever... I'm trying at least
Grayson Moore
do you light people's shit on fire or something?
Adam Sanchez
I got used to it I guess. I often become self-conscious of how much I overthink stuff and how jealous I am and I end up calming down. Just don't get yourself in relations with anyone and it'll be really easy. Don't trust anyone and don't expect anything from anyone. They'll all disappoint you in the end.
James Smith
I am extremely jealous myself. But i know this so i always tell my soon to be partner. I dont allow myself to feel a lot until the girl has said yes to my conditions. I have been in relationships where i didnt explain these things and they just get shitty over time. Try being honest with your SO. If they cant go with your problems they are probably not the right person and you re just wasting yourself emotionally.
Adam Diaz
I do the opposite >talk with people >infatuated with them and human interaction > slowly lose interest >completely stop talking unless spoken to, go back to my solitary ways
Connor Sanders
If you are sincere Be my bf pls Im exactly the same way Non-ASCII text allowed O p f e r n a c h t#0720
So you let it out... I heard it helps for some feelings (like anger or etc) but i'm sorry to hear it didn't quite work in this one. I myself just keep going through my routine and feeling like shit as things fall apart.
You didn't lose hope at least, so i wish you find that loving shota!
>deeply rooted insecurity >lack of interpersonal relationships >Tendency to overthink everything I do Literally the resume of why i'm probably like this...
Try some things like meditation user, maybe they'd help you to control those feelings. I'm just shooting at random things, but it may work for you.
>They'll all disappoint you in the end. I can't accept but can't argue against that. It's just too harsh to know i lost such an opportunity because of how my brain ended wired in a messy way.
Honesty is really appreciated, i just wonder if i wouldn't overthink too much and be scared of them leaving me (which as you said,would be better for both people).
Did you had luck in finding someone accepting of that trait?
That sounds terrible too ;_;
I'm not quite a bf, sorry...
Wyatt Gutierrez
you get too invested in other people bro, invest in yourself instead and you will see better rewards
Gabriel Collins
Are you retards all underaged or something? This sounds like me when I was in my edgy atheist phase.
Alexander Stewart
>describe perfect gf traits >write about them as if they were negative qualities how does this kind of shitty (You)bait still work
Jackson Howard
I recognise a slightly more extreme version of me in your description desu. Sadly from my own personal experience there isn't much you can do except trying to distract yourself even the slightest bit. Ow, and forcing yourself to ignore what the other does, it won't solve it. But, it will make it a little bit more bearable
Nathan Parker
i'm the opposite
had one (1) relationship that nothing came out of because i was too cold to the other person at all times. just couldn't build a connection. i stopped trying after that, that was more than 4 years ago.
i don't know what's wrong with me, some days i really want a good relationship, but i guess i'm mostly fine with being alone. amazing how years of bullying can make you completely apathetic and desensitized, i no longer give a flying fuck about other people's feelings.
Sorry if it is a too personal question. But how do you feel about your parents'/ siblings' feelings? Are you indifferent about them too? Or does it only apply to people you don't already have a bond with.
Sebastian Foster
I think there is someone for everybody. I would love a girlfriend like this to distract me from my existential dread. >tfw you stop taking overtime at your job because you are mentally exhausted >spent the first 2 days of my 3 day weekend laying around and drinking >can't even gather up the strength to go out and do stuff I enjoy like working on my other car thats broke down I just want a sweet girl to talk to and give me energy
Austin Gomez
Yes that is a part of it, but any hint to reach it? I don't quite know how to change that.
>perfect gf trait For you. Few people think like that. In my view it's more like a flaw your partner needs to live with, not a "perfect gf trait", i hope you don't have to see it by yourself.
Mhm... but you think the plan of distracting/forgetting is bearable long term?
I mean, i had the chance to test this once in an online relationship and it was just awful. I'm really scared of how it'd be in real life.
Maybe you just didn't connect with the person, user? I mean, it happens... Imo it's hard to find someone to connect with, even being like this i have difficulties (but if i find a person that connects, i'd get attached on spot and the shit would start).
>amazing how years of bullying can make you completely apathetic and desensitized I'm really sorry to hear that user, i really mean this.
I'm sure you can find someone that isn't as much like this, but still can care alot for you and give you that support?
Well, distracting/ forgetting is definately not the sollution. But it eases the pain and worries. See it like a pain killer that you can take, it eases the pain but does not cure you. To be quite honest, I'm rather interested in how a relationship would turn out between 2 people that are clingy towards one another, because they would either be together all the time or grow tired of eachother and split up.
Levi Gutierrez
sort of. i'm not a super edgy retard who wouldn't give a flying fuck if my whole family died in a car crash, but then again i probably am colder to them than i should be. when i'm around them all day it's easier to give a shit but i don't know when i last saw/talked with them.
>I'm really sorry to hear that user, i really mean this. thanks but it wasn't really that bad. ostracization would be a better word, i wouldnt say it was bullying
>Maybe you just didn't connect with the person yeah, i didn't. i mostly got in a relationship with them because of outside pressures. but i rarely talked to them and eventually it just decayed, which is a very noticeable pattern in the connections i have made through life, which sounds bad but i'm the only reason they do because i never talk to people unless there's a reason
Jonathan Young
I guess it's good that you still care ( a bit) about your relatives. That means your feelings are just numbed down and not entirely gone. I'm sure you'll find someone eventually, just a matter of time. Only thing to hope for is that it should be sooner rather than later.
Parker Cox
I'm a weird mix of that and someone who ghosts everyone at the same time. Many, many people I cared about and not just in a sexual way have mentioned I'm obnoxious and clingy and they're sick of dealing with me. Nowadays I'm lonely and starved for attention yet don't start conversations or reply to others outside the bare minimum because I'm convinced I irritate them just by existing and I don't want to get hurt again.
Dominic Walker
This is what doomed my only relationship which is funny because I started out as the cold one. Eventually she got tired of me revolving my life around her. She said it made her feel guilty being my reason for living and that she didn't want to have to worry about me or what I'd think about things.
I think clingy guys like us are worthless OP but I still wish I could find an equally clingy girl. Codependency seems so nice
You don't want codependency. Trust me. If you can barely maintain your own life then having to maintain someone else's life on top of that will break you.
Connor Edwards
Won't they also help me maintain my life? I definitely felt like a parent at times before and it honestly gave me a sense of purpose. I wished I didn't have to help her do basic things but at the same time I was glad I could at least do something useful for her. I understand what you're saying but if that's the price to pay for having true love I'm willing to pay it
Logan Sullivan
Im the same way just in the jealousy aspect. If I actually like a girl I get pissed when they even talk to other guys. Good thing i rarely develop any feelings for anyone i guess
Cameron Ward
I found a girl as needy and clingy as I want to be. It's really weird. If you want to be serious with someone you should be up front with your feelings. Women don't get it usually because they're always fucking about, but things can get serious fast if you connect with someone in the right way.
I'm gonna marry this girl. A personal note: It seems the neediest and clingiest without being whores are women into physical affection. It's probably the least common form of affection: spending time together, sharing space, hearing and experiencing their feelings, sexuality as a near constant thing because of the affection. She had never wanted kids and I got her to agree up to five (she came from a damaged family but started believing things could get better). She may change her mind but I have to try boys
We had a bunch of fights already about kids and life plans/goals. She rescinded but I'm still going to treat her better than I could ever expect myself to treat someone.
