>your barber is on holiday user, I guess you'll have to visit another one
Bone-chilling sentences
Nolan Cruz
Brody Perry
>you don't have gf user? are you gay? we will accept you if you are
Lucas Fisher
>never have I ever got laid
>everyone puts a finger down except you
>they all look at you
>everyone is mid 20s
Why do I bother going out and trying
Jack Foster
>What are you're kinks and fantasies
Carson Hughes
>so what do you do for a living anona?
Christian Williams
>were you staring at my feet
It's a lose lose question
Cameron Sullivan
Just lie you prick
I've lied pretty much every round of Never have I ever
William Wright
How am I a prick? Who uses that word anymore? Why do you hurt me so?
Nicholas Lewis
oh fuck
i was at the barber with my moms cuz i'm neet and don't have a license and he and my long-time barber were talking
>"Did you see that show the big bang show or something?"
>at this point i know what's coming
>"You know sheldon? thats our nickname for user"
>they both start laughing
why am i like this. this happened only a few days ago too...
Owen Bennett
They aren't caught up on the latest season. Sheldon not only got a girlfriend, he fucked her so well she became a cockslut for him, not even joking.
Aiden Anderson
>in high school health class
>literally all girls and except me and another guy
>girl i've known for years sitting beside me randomly yells
>"you look like sheldon!"
>the entire class of qt girls bursts out in laughter
like what the hell? it was so random too. she wasn't trying to be mean and i think it just popped in her head. still hurts
Justin Ross
>your barber
>cut your hair
Christian Scott
>we all have some level of agreeableness, except that guy over there
Adrian Smith
>why are your hands shaking?
Tfw tremor
Kayden Edwards
>I hate you
>You will never achieve your dreams
t. my oneitis yesterday
I feel like killing myself again
Mason Bailey
>Oh, that's cool, I'll wait til he's back.
Problem solved.
Aaron Hughes
>Barry Chuckle, 73, passed away last night
Elijah Perry
Could be worse, my dad's family used to constantly compared me to Napoleon Dynamite.
Carson Nguyen
am i the only one who just walks in and goes to whichever barber is available
Jordan Hernandez
> "So how's the job hunt?"
Austin Martinez
I hate how I was taught centimetres in school yet they still use inches in barbers because of all the boomers. I don't understand inches.
Jason Jackson
right but what does that have to do with what i said
Jose Perez
OP here. I go to the same barber for many years and he knows exactly what I want and he doesn't even have to ask. I have bad experience with other barbers because they always screw up.
Thomas Cox
OP has to get a haircut before school starts is my guess since he's a massive summerfag, i'm probably correct
Jaxson James
not user you replied to, but I use prick multiple times a day
Gavin Green
>find a girlfriend user!
Kayden Thompson
no fucking way
holy shit
Juan Lee
>What's with those scars on your upper arms?
Gabriel Scott
>woah, user! I never thought you would make it to 20!
.....
Hunter Jackson
>Do you like her?
What the fuck can I say to this. I've liked only one person and it's her
Jackson Walker
>That wasn't funny, you're not funny just shut up
John White
i used to have 2 irl friends and one time i told a joke to one of them and his gf at the time(who i later found out is the reason im not friends with him anymore) said with the sharpest tone ive ever heard "you arent funny, [friends name] is funny. shut up or leave."
my friend didnt even stick up for me. neither did my other friend. the only two people in the state that liked me refused to tell a girl they hated she was being a bitch. i just went home and cried.
Levi Turner
I always follow it up with "well... Thats subjective"
But this reminds me of a story of my own
>highschool
>boys night
>at friend's playing halo
>his 20yo gf is there (he's 17 at the time)
>one friend says "youre getting raped"
>she goes absolutely nuts saying how it's not funny to joke about that shit
>we just look at each other with that "oh shit" expression on our faces
>when she leaves the room we burst out in laughter
Im sorry your experience didnt go so well
Jacob Fisher
sounds like your two friends also thought you werent funny
Aaron Sanchez
>why are you such an annoying cunt?
Works everyime
Adrian Scott
I've had something like that happen to me. I was sitting with my friends, telling a rambling joke all excited and one told me to "Just stop. Shut up, user" with the most annoyed look on her face. Made me feel like a piece of shit, realized I was the friend everybody tolerated
Lincoln Bennett
>you aren't funny
it cuts deep.
Tyler Foster
>unironically having female friends
Theres your problem fembot [\spoiler]
Jason Williams
I know that feel.
Been crushing on a lass at my office for months. A IT technician from our company was chatting with me, just the two of us, and out of nowhere says "what do you think of anonette?". I held my spaghetti in, thankfully, said she seems nice enough, but
>want to ask her out for coffee
>literally not sure if I'm misreading signals because I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum
>somewhat convinced she's single
>torn between telling myself she's into me and telling myself I'm overthinking it all
Wat do?
Aiden Stewart
>not spoilering correctly
Great now everyones gonna know what a fuck up I am
Dylan Anderson
Ask and find out.
>Okay user :)
You win.
>I'm sorry user, but I'm not interested.
Anxiety over crush on someone else.
Jeremiah Ramirez
>Legs cut off for no reason
Joseph Ramirez
>you got mail
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Oliver Cox
>Why are you so quiet user?
>Lol got no Friends user?
>When are you bringing a girl home user?
>Ask the waiter/helperson yourself user
>user's weird hes got a Serial Killer look
Ryan Green
I would take that as a compliment, being agreeable around normies means you're normalizing their insanity.
Cooper Gutierrez
>youre going to have to learn to take care of yourself user
Dylan Butler
These kind of back handed insults are the reason i secluded myself and evolved into a hikki neet.
David Thomas
are there women only babers?
last time I went I was surrounded by middle aged roasties.
always shave them down myself since then.
Angel Garcia
I'm so glad I've had the excuses that there are no women at my uni and I'm too busy for a gf
>tfw just graduating so can't use them anymore
Justin Lopez
Just grow your hair out and lightly 'shave' the ends with a razor every 3-4 months. No barber needed, problem solved.
Isaac Long
>be me
>having fun at work with everyone
>good music, good atmosphere
>bartender i like is working service bar
>start to dance at service bar waiting for my drinks
>"haha i like how you dance user because i know your harmless"
>what
>she thinks i'm gay
>mfw
Landon Lee
I know this all to well friend
Ryan Jones
>>Mine think I am Asexual now
Kayden Thompson
>i love you
I don't
Dominic Morris
Mom:
>Why don't you have a gf?
>Why don't you have any friends?
>Why don't you ever go out?
>Why haven't you graduated yet?
>My friends' sons already graduated, have a job and their own house
Leo Long
Why is 'you aren't funny' so fucking deep cutting?
>at work
>couple of co-workers, one male and one female, having a conversation
>they are talking about the hot weather
>one of them, the male, says some normie shit, about working in a sauna, then adds an unfunny normie comment about how, at least if it was a sauna we'd all be naked
>think it wasn't funny
>try to chime in
>'but if we WERE all naked, you could smell my sweaty ballballs!'
>'user you aren't funny'
>feel bad all day
fucking normies.
Hudson Richardson
>"Haha you sound like eeyore"
For foreign anons who didn't grow up with kino,
>Eeyore is a character in the Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne. He is generally characterized as a pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, anhedonic, old grey stuffed donkey who is a friend of the title character, Winnie-the-Pooh.
Andrew Harris
that wasn't funny, you deserved it normalshit
Eli Flores
holy shit, I've never been asked this, but imagining such a scenario made me anxious like fuck
Jeremiah Lee
will I ever stop confusing Napoleon Dynamite with Black Dynamite? what's wrong with me?
Bentley Hall
>so do you meet any girls there
Alexander Adams
>ballballs
buf said kiddo
Adrian Young
I'd agree with
Jacob Flores
>So user if you don't go out what do you actually do with your free time
normally just say guitar because it's the closest thing to a normie pass time I can think of