Just vent and chill anons

What did you do user?
Lifting for sport or working?

I've been pretending to be a female on the internet for years. Only lately I'm getting out of that dark place and starting to appreciate myself for it, my life is far from being bad, but I contracted that fucking mental disease anyway. Today was the first day of awakening, I already feel better.

Well, congrats on that user.
I am glad you wiggled out of that mess.

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Nice trips, and thanks, I talked to my dad about how much I envy women for having an easy life and he talked me out of it, I guess.
I don't have any friends though so I'm not sure what to do now, but I feel much better either way.

Neither! It just hurts for some reason. It has for the past month or so and it makes things difficult for me.

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i'm short for rent this month and im super stressed. starting a new job next week so maybe this situation wont happen again. but i just moved in a month ago and it looks really bad on my end.

im kind of forced to wagecuck my way through life and i didnt have a lot of hours last week. so money is tighter than usual til my next check.

i hate everything.

try sleeping on the floor with no mattress and no pillow

You reckon? That might take some getting used to. I'm also a side sleeper, but your plan checks out.

im a bit worried about my life right now. been unemployed for 2 months cause of health reasons.
also, i always think about my dream life everyday, which is one revolving around music.
the uncertainty of life right now is unsettling.
in which case, life is always full of uncertainties.

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Relaxing, and getting ready to go to sleep. Listening to some audiobook about Immanuel Kant. This guy is my hero.

try it out. been sleeping on the floor lately with just a straw mat laid out, and occasionally a pillow and blanket.
i feel as if i get a massage everytime i wake up, which is probably an effect of the body being naturally aligned if you sleep on the floor.
as for sleeping positions, i would say find one that comforably fits you. when i sleep on my side with no pillow, i use my hand(s) to give my head something to lay on.
experiment and see what works for you.

I understand you user, it is pretty rough in my situation too.
But keep going user, and you will get out of that mess. Remember, evaluate decisions.

Aw man, my dream is also art, drawing and comics.
Hope you get what you reach for user.
Got any tunes you wanna share?

>every goal I put for myself is some pipedream with no real plan for attaining it so I just fantasize
I'm sick of fantasies but every time I think of my actual life I feel like I'm on the verge of ters

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How about turning your fantasies into a book/comic/film/song?
That might work?

My online gf (we never met in real life and I expect to be scolded for mentioning "gf" here)
Decided yesterday that after I told her how much I'm looking forward to meeting her, how much I love her that it was a perfect time to say she had a "placeholder" bf that her friends had told her to get until I got there.
Obviously I were shocked and sad that she had lied to me and only now told me so she proceeded to get depressed over this and cry, told me to fuck off and that I deserved better, sent me a video(not sharing) of her threatening to kill herself and I haven't heard from her since.
For over a year I did everything for her, cheered her up when she were down, talked about our future, worked hard on my papers so I could look for a job where she lives and move to her(across countries)
She was my goal and reason for living and now I have nothing but panic attacks and depressive thoughts.

Holy shit user, why did she do that to you?
This sounds like something really bad man.
Also, screw the people who can't tell their head from their ass, if you considered her close, and a gf it is ok, no scolding.
Stay strong man...

I started a gaming general on Jow Forums several years ago. At it's peak we had tournaments of 40-50 people in our game of choice and the majority of regulars were pretty chill autists.

Once the golden age of the general was more or less over and most of the regulars left, I started a vidya blog out of boredom and very quickly got a massive following. By the two year mark I was hired by a dev full-time, and by the three year mark received an additional sum to shut the blog down - I used this cash to start an auto racing team with my friend. Sometimes our shit falls apart but occasionally we post good results to justify the endeavor. It's fun.

The general still exists. They no longer host tournaments, at least from what I can see. Almost everyone good from the community has left, & the remaining stragglers spend 70% of their time shitposting about me like it's a lolcow thread. The thread is supposed to be about video games but any mention of me = 80 posts dissecting some tweet or Instagram post I made, then drawing me as an anime girl, then digging through my posting history on Jow Forums and mocking me for being in a shit relationship once upon a time.

It's frustrating because I used to be one of said Jow Forums autists four years ago, but instead I took the initiative to do something constructive with my time and have been reaping the rewards for a couple of years now. Instead of using me as an example and everyone collectively bettering themselves, these people just waste away and I have some sort of bizarro fan club.

I don't know why she did it.
I've always seen her as the most loyal and wonderful person ever. She claims it's because her friends talked her into having someone as a "cover story" of sorts and she didn't like it but still went along with it, why I do not know.
I said I'd forgive her if she broke up with him and stopped taking dumb advices, I think in total I send over 100 videos yesterday trying to cheer her up and say I forgave her if she just promised me to work for us and towards our future.
Despite my best efforts I was given that one last video and it went quiet.
I didn't sleep tonight obviously after that and I have no idea what to do, I feel so powerless and it's eating me up inside.

Just show you care user.
She made a stupid decision.
Did you check on her after that?
I hope today will be clearer for you.

>practice some music, apply for some jobs then get drunk maybe try to watch a movie that isnt hollywood garbage
pretty comfy day but fails to satisfy as usual.

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I've sent texts to her and they do go through but she's not opening them they're stuck on "d" for delivered if the phone were to be turned off it would only say "s" for sent so she's getting them but ignoring it.
I don't know what else to do, I can't call as it's over a chat app and I don't have her actual number to call.

Sounds like a plan.
Do you do vidya?
Interactive hollywood garbage!

Than may the time be your judge user.
Stay safe and try not to worry too much than.
If you literally can in no way do anything, why worry?

my dad keeps prying about my mental health and it's making me extremely uncomfortable

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There are some boundaries even for parents.
we all need some privacy.

Just very recently been diagnosed a schizo.
It's like I can trust what I think or feel anymore.

Can't* even spell words correctly either apparently

>Dad about to leave for Texas
>sister going to get a free house from mom
>stuck at dead end job making $15/hr
Man I hope I get this job with Amtrak. Otherwise it's the chair force for me. I got nothing else.

Need more cozy pics

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some moar
>originalo

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I despise staying in one place for so long; I have no clue how I'm going to survive once college ends and I can't fuck off for months at a time. Maybe I'll get a job I can do from the internet.

I HAD DISSOCIATION AND I WAS LITERALLY A FUCKING ZOMBIE FOR A WEEK. HAD COMPLETE POVERTY OF THOUGHT AND EVERYTHING.
NOW I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER HAVE THE WORKING MEMORY AND LONG-TERM MEMORY I USED TO HAVE. I WAS SO FUCKING SMART.

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>started talking to this chick and we got along pretty well talking over whisper
>spilled some spaghetti
>she only sends one word replies
>haven't gotten anything back in 3 days
>birthday was in February
>my 4 friends i invited to get a drink and try to do something normal, they all bailed and forgot about my birthday even tho i reminded them
>on same day i had to work, and when i clocked out and walked into the parking lot i got hit by a car
>nerve damage in my left knee minor but annoying
>it all hurts
>being plowing through booze and weed trying to keep it in check enough to keep this new job
>i still live with my grandma

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Too dumb to get rich
Too ugly to get laid
So I browse Jow Forums

>Go to work
>Talk and joke around with coworkers
>On lunch break, talk to my qt female old boss, who's now one of my only real friends
>Just generally social and happy all day

>Get home
>Isolated
>Nobody to talk to but you guys
>Suddenly overwhelming depression

There used to be a time where I would count the minutes till I could go home and be alone. Now it's the worst part of my day and every waking second is spent trying to kill time until I can go back to work and be around people.

What did you say to turn her off user?

we had been talking for like 4 days or so, and she was dropping stuff like "i hope you text me tomorrow morning (:" before she went to bed, i just replied and said she was cute and i would like to take her out and get to know her better (im new to the area so i said maybe we should explore a restaurant or something

>need to lose 20 lbs
>tried before, never saw progress
>decide to go balls deep and fast every other day
>first day
>by 2:30 had horrible migraine
>ate packet of goldfish from work, had coconut water and handful of dried berries when I got home
>head still hurts, but slightly less

>had to leave work early to go to government office in this state
>go there, 20 minute walk
>find out it's the wrong building
>can't ask desk where the right building is without going through TSA-like security rape desk
>have to empty my backpack and get scanned
>just to go ask for fucking directions
>go to correct building
>find out they only offer the service I need on wednesday and thursday
>wasn't anywhere on the fucking website
>already have to make up an hour of work tomorrow, now I have to do 2 hours because of this
FUCK THE GOVERNMENT they're so fucking incompetent and annoying, annoying lack of decent service hours, lack of information, government workers are all lazy unhelpful rude ass slobs. Fuck them fuck them fuck!

>never had any friends except one guy I knew as a kid and stopped hanging out with at 12
>eccentric and asocial
>ugly, can't attract girls even if I act like a Chad
>completely boring, never have anything to talk about
>haven't felt happy in about a year
>feel empty and hollow, like there's something missing inside me
>can't feel the feelings that I used to
>constantly fantasise about becoming a famous rock star, even feel like it could happen even though logically I know that it won't
>don't foresee any good future being realistic for me
>will probably kill myself before 20

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A smoke sounds really great right now.

Another cozy

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