Hey anons, how was your day? I just woke up but I'm curious about how my friends are doing!

i know the feeling. without any real stakes or chance to fail you can slack off as much as you want

Have you gone somewhere nice or staying at home?

i am playing minecraft because i want to kill myself so at least i can leave something behind.

probably no one will appreciate your minecrafting, sorry user

It was less worse than usual I think, but still bad

if anything all ive done is realise how much i dont know, it began with conspiracy videos but i gave up trying to figure stuff out like that, i mainly stick to politics and spiritual stuff now, and some jbp which can be like both

>got a rejection letter from a job i applied to
Sorry user, hope you'll get the job next time. That has to be rough.
>might watch some lectures online to pretend like i'm worth anything
What type of lectures? You don't need to pretend that you have value.
>might grab some alcohol
Don't drink bad feelings away. It'll make you dependent. I hope you take good care of yourself user.
You're a NEET again? What happened? Glad your day was ok though. Good job cleaning your room and making food.
Just do what feels right. Being a fag isn't a big deal nowadays. If they make you happy to be around then hang out with them.
Don't kill yourself user, things can get better and you'll have more time to leave something behind. What are you doing in Minecraft? That game is a lot of fun.
Sorry you're having a trend of bad days. Glad thinks are looking a little bit better for you at least!

>What type of lectures?
AI stuff because i'm a csfag but i'm also a brainlet
>Don't drink bad feelings away.
i really want to right now. not in a good spot.

home made pizza is good
I decided to quit.

nothing of note, just some farms scattered around. trying to help the less fortunate while killing my boredom. i'd go for a run if i could bear the heat. idk

it isnt really gay, hes a girl biologically but identifies as a guy, all my lefty mates take the trans thing really seriously so it does make me gay if i do anything with her(him) i know i shouldnt really care what anyone says about me but it kinda just do be like that sometime

Adorable catgirl. Thank you.
I'm doing well.

>AI stuff because i'm a csfag but i'm also a brainlet
AI sounds cool. I doubt you're a full on brainlet if you're in CS. Don't look at yourself so negatively.
>i really want to right now. not in a good spot.
I can't force you to do anything obviously but please be careful with alcohol. I don't want you to end up unable to live without any.
>I decided to quit.
Fair enough. Mind if I ask why? Quitting your job to become a NEET isn't normal.
>nothing of note, just some farms scattered around. trying to help the less fortunate while killing my boredom
Nice. Whenever I play minecraft I have a compulsion to make massive subterranean bases and castles above the ground or underwater. It's a lot of fun though.
>i'd go for a run if i could bear the heat. idk
Yeah I feel that. Maybe go for a run at night when it cools down a little and if it's safe to in your area?
>it isnt really gay, hes a girl biologically but identifies as a guy
>so it does make me gay if i do anything with her(him)
Just think about if your friends labeling you as gay or bi is worth getting close to her. Really up to you. I've known very few trannies, so the whole thing confuses me, but just decide for yourself if the stigma is worth it.
>I'm doing well.
Good! Here's more catgirls.

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>Here's more catgirls.
Thank you for the catgirls, user. You're making my day better.

>Fair enough. Mind if I ask why? Quitting your job to become a NEET isn't normal.
because I was dealing with brainlets at work and I just tired of it.

>I doubt you're a full on brainlet if you're in CS.
i'm not good at it. i just fell for the meme.
i can't even buy alcohol. i'm afraid of leaving the house and i get really scared whenever i'm at the register

>if the stigma is worth it.
yeah thats kinda what Im juggling in my mind, im gunna be home alone for a while soon n i want some company n im sure she/he would keep me company n i know i defo would if i knew no one would know but i would never ask her to keep things secret cause i dont want her to think that im ashamed

>Thank you for the catgirls, user. You're making my day better.
Np. Here's more
>because I was dealing with brainlets at work and I just tired of it.
Damn, sorry user. That sounds like a pain to deal with. Hopefully you're feeling better now that you don't have to deal with that anymore.
>i'm not good at it. i just fell for the meme.
I'm sure you're underselling yourself. If you can baseline preform CS functions then you're pretty intelligent.
>i can't even buy alcohol. i'm afraid of leaving the house and i get really scared whenever i'm at the register
I also can't leave the house due to fear. Sorry you have to deal with that, it really sucks.
Yeah I feel that. At least you're treating her well as a person. Whatever you decide to do I hope it works out for you friend.

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if i obsess over it i can usually get over myself over the course of two or three hours though
there's no need to go outside, my life is useless

>Damn, sorry user. That sounds like a pain to deal with. Hopefully you're feeling better now that you don't have to deal with that anymore.
Well it is only the first day, so we will see.

>Yeah I feel that. At least you're treating her well as a person. Whatever you decide to do I hope it works out for you friend.
Bless you and goodnight x

power has been going out, sorry for late replies
Yeah I can leave the house if I prepare for it but I usually get panic attacks while outside and it makes me really uncomfortable so I avoid doing it normally.
>there's no need to go outside, my life is useless
Don't call yourself useless.
>Well it is only the first day, so we will see.
Good luck!
gn

>Don't call yourself useless.
I am though. I'm on the verge of suicide if things don't work out by next February or so. And no, I didn't make any progress on genetically engineered catgirls.

Made a salad today.
It was alright, could have used a little less olive oil as salad dressing though.

>I am though.
Wrong.
>I'm on the verge of suicide if things don't work out by next February or so. And no, I didn't make any progress on genetically engineered catgirls.
I hope you don't do that user. Suicide is usually uncalled for. Plus I really like you around. The catgirls will come eventually.
>Made a salad today.
Nice. Sounds healthy. Do you enjoy making food? I never do because I get bored.

>Do you enjoy making food?
It's ok I guess. It's better than buying readily made salads and food, and healthier too because you know what vegetables and raw materials you put in it.
Don't really know how to cook well aside from basic stuff like salads and boiling eggs, and basic oven-related stuff such as toast.

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>Suicide is usually uncalled for.
I have my reasons. I've clearly demonstrated to this world that I'm not capable of doing anything right
>The catgirls will come eventually.
Give me another 10 years if I'm not dead by then.

>Do you enjoy making food?
I don't like it because I'm a bad cook

It was okay, nothing significantly bad happened at least.
I'm a-ok, supposedly.

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>47333323
Holy almost sexts
>It's ok I guess. It's better than buying readily made salads and food, and healthier too because you know what vegetables and raw materials you put in it.
So you do it for health reasons more than you enjoy cooking? I've seen people who cook all the time because they enjoy it. Sounds like you're making good life decisions user, good job. I can't cook much besides noodles, oven food, and grilling as well. Glad you enjoyed your salad.
>I have my reasons. I've clearly demonstrated to this world that I'm not capable of doing anything right
The world is an apathetic marble. Live for yourself. If you bank on suicide in the future you will end up boxing off all your potential venues for happiness. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
>Give me another 10 years if I'm not dead by then.
They'll be meowing around any second now.
>I don't like it because I'm a bad cook
That sucks user. If you follow a cookbook your food will never turn out too badly though.
>It was okay, nothing significantly bad happened at least.
I suppose that's good, right?
>I'm a-ok, supposedly.
I know how you feel. Nothing has happened to me all day and I'm feeling tons of anxiety for no reason. It's a shame that some of us feel bad even when nothing bad has happened. I hope things start looking up for you though friend.

>If you follow a cookbook your food will never turn out too badly though.
Usually. I'm really bad at cooking and reading and I fuck up recipes a lot.

>So you do it for health reasons more than you enjoy cooking?
Yeah, pretty much. I don't really care about taste either, as long as it's not bad for you and doesn't taste like actual shit.
>Sounds like you're making good life decisions user, good job.
Thanks, it's pretty much the only thing that still keeps me afloat in terms of health, since I don't go outside much and don't eat with normalfags.
Sometimes just eat washed, raw veggies as a meal or snack to not want unhealthy food like chips, which I actively avoid buying.

Also played some videogames today, as usual.
It's pretty humid and hot outside so I don't really want to go for a walk.

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Meh, I installed smash 4 on cemu and got to play bayonetta for the first time, it was fun
It's been hard though, my grandmother passed not to long ago and I really miss her, she died painlessly I was told.
Me and my boyfriend split up, he never spoke to me and we have only met once for the entire summer, no one made me feel the way he did, never had I been so madly in love with someone, he was my first kiss and it felt like pure ecstasy when he kissed me, I wish it could have went better, but he was the distant type and I was clingy-ish cause I had so much love to give him, I had to hit him with a break up over text because I am too beta to ask him to meet up with me and tell him without crying.
But on the bright side I cleaned up my room today!, It's not as messy anymore, but it's still kinda messy o guess.

> shit day at work
> shit day at school
> get result from a test, I failed
> lonely as fuck

Im just waiting to get killed at this point.

>I'm really bad at cooking and reading and I fuck up recipes a lot.
Just give it some time and effort and you'll be the next Iron Chef. Cooking really is practice. Housewives don't have a genetic gift for cooking. You'll figure it out eventually.
>I don't really care about taste either
Really? I love when food tastes good but I'm too lazy to actually make meals. My parents bring me dinner so I don't die, which I appreciate. One time I forgot to eat for 5 days because they were gone lol.
>Sometimes just eat washed, raw veggies as a meal or snack to not want unhealthy food like chips, which I actively avoid buying.
That's smart. Carb loading only makes people fat.
>Also played some videogames today, as usual.
Nice. I played a little bit of vidya as well. What game? You don't have to go for a walk every day, don't feel pressured to do it unless you promised to do it every day.
> I installed smash 4 on cemu and got to play bayonetta for the first time, it was fun
What's cemu? Is smah 4 any good? I've only played melee.
>It's been hard though, my grandmother passed not to long ago and I really miss her, she died painlessly I was told.
I'm sorry. Grandparents are really hard to lose because they're so close and very often the first relatives that die while we're alive. Hope you can deal with the pain of mourning.
>Me and my boyfriend split up
Sorry, such things happen. I don't really understand why you broke up with him though, just because he wasn't spending enough time with you? Did you verbalize that?
>But on the bright side I cleaned up my room today!
Good job user. My room never gets dirty because I get yelled at if I leave trash or plates in the room. Good job though.
>shit day at work
>shit day at school
>get result from a test, I failed
>lonely as fuck
Sounds rough, sorry friend. Hopefully things start looking up for you. When things get hard you have to get harder. Don't bank on death, it leads to negative thoughts.

I'd rather put my effort into finding a cat or foxgirl gf to cook for me.
Yeah I'm pathetic.

>That's smart. Carb loading only makes people fat.
Yeah, I'm already skinnyfat so it's probably mandatory for me to eat little to no carbs that lack in other nutrition.
>What game?
TF2
>You don't have to go for a walk every day, don't feel pressured to do it unless you promised to do it every day.
I actually rarely go outside, let alone for walks, just don't want to be seen by normalfags, even at night.

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>Np. Here's more
Thank you, user. I hope you have a good day.

hear my story.

>woke up in a cold sweat, anxious and upset
>writhe in bed feeling my fat body
>fap
>get up and make cereal in my room
>realize i ran out of milk
>grab a dew form my mini fridge instead
>pretend to fight people from my past, the ones i was too beta to do anything about
>vidya
>eat
>fap
>mope around in bed
>Jow Forums
>fap
>and now vidya in a few mins

my life is utter shit but i love the dreadful aesthetic.

Went to an uncles birthday, there were only around 6 more people there and all close family so it was nice. His 2 sons, my cousins, are cool peeps, we played tabletop rpgs couple of years ago, we talked about vidya, like stuff that is coming out, like ghost of tsushima, beyond good and evil 2, cyberpunk, we only encounter each other on events like this now, I usually dont go to family birthdays, but they treat me nice, like a nice brother would

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>Yeah I'm pathetic.
I'm not gonna let you call yourself pathetic. You're a cool dude.
>I'm already skinnyfat so it's probably mandatory for me to eat little to no carbs that lack in other nutrition.
I eat like shit and I'm underweight. I really don't understand why some people are fat and others are thin.
>I actually rarely go outside, let alone for walks, just don't want to be seen by normalfags, even at night.
Same. The way you phrased it made me think you normally go for walks. Sorry, I got confused.
>I hope you have a good day.
I'll try because you asked so nicely.
Sorry you're feeling so down user. I'm sure many of us have similar days, myself included. Hopefully the vidya cheers you up. I'd love for you to feel better but obviously can't do much except send kind wishes.

>Went to an uncles birthday, there were only around 6 more people there and all close family so it was nice. His 2 sons, my cousins, are cool peeps, we played tabletop rpgs couple of years ago, we talked about vidya, like stuff that is coming out, like ghost of tsushima, beyond good and evil 2, cyberpunk
Sounds great! Birthdays seem like a lot of fun. I'm estranged from my 1st cousins but they and my second cousins are really cool and I like spending time with them as well. It's great you had a good time with them.
>I usually dont go to family birthdays, but they treat me nice, like a nice brother would
I'm happy you get along so well.

>I'm sure many of us have similar days

it wasn't until recently i realized it was every day, thats just how it is.

>I really don't understand why some people are fat and others are thin.
slow metabolisms generally cause weight gain, while fast metabolisms burn more that's ingested.

>I'm not gonna let you call yourself pathetic. You're a cool dude.
Sorry for being in a really sour mood today. My parents yelled at me for a lot of shit over the last 2 days and I'm still thinking about it.

>it wasn't until recently i realized it was every day, thats just how it is.
It's not too late to change how things are. If you can't stand your current way of living try to change it for the better. You may be sad, but you can also be happy.
>slow metabolisms generally cause weight gain, while fast metabolisms burn more that's ingested.
Why are metabolisms different from person to person? Wouldn't one be the best biologically?
>Sorry for being in a really sour mood today. My parents yelled at me for a lot of shit over the last 2 days and I'm still thinking about it.
Don't be sorry that someone else put you in a bad mood. I just hope you can start feeling a little better and see yourself in a better light!

>I'm estranged from my 1st cousins but they and my second cousins are really cool and I like spending time with them as well.
What do you mean by estranged ? like, in you dont see each other anymore cuz of your anxiety ? Why not try to invite them for your birthday since you get along well, only a couple of people so you dont get uncomfortable

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>Why are metabolisms different from person to person? Wouldn't one be the best biologically?
differences in diet and epigenetics affect it. i've heard twins can end up very different if you subject them to different diets and lifestyles during puberty as well. even then, the globalization of the world far outpaced evolution. all the gene-mixing going on now is happening at a small speck of the evolutionary timeline
>see yourself in a better light!
can't do that right now, the moon's being blocked by the clouds tonight.

i don't feel sad i feel bitter and resentful. There is not much i can do from here. I could stay NEET and be like this for as long as it goes or i could grind every day learn to drive just so i can slave away for a studio apartment.

>What do you mean by estranged ?
My aunt doesn't want them to be around my parents, my brother, or myself. The only time I see them is through my grandfather. I bought them a gift for Christmas and haven't been able to give it to them yet. They live less than 5 miles away too.
>Why not try to invite them for your birthday
I don't celebrate my birthday. I forgot what day it was during my 17th birthday and my last birthday I just ignored.
>differences in diet and epigenetics affect it
That's pretty wild. If I'm about to be fat I'll just do keto and not worry about the sciency bits.
>can't do that right now, the moon's being blocked by the clouds tonight.
It's an idiom you dip.
>i don't feel sad i feel bitter and resentful
That's probably worse than sad because you don't want to be happy. I've been there, though probably to a less extreme extent.
>I could stay NEET and be like this for as long as it goes or i could grind every day learn to drive just so i can slave away for a studio apartment.
It's up to you ultimately. I just hope you figure out how to feel better about yourself and the world around you.

>If I'm about to be fat I'll just do keto and not worry about the sciency bits.
i'm afraid of letting myself go when i'm older as well. people get fat really fast once they get old, it's nuts.
>It's an idiom you dip.
i know but the moon was so pretty last night

>i'm afraid of letting myself go when i'm older as well. people get fat really fast once they get old, it's nuts.
Yeah. It's rare to see people not fate after 40. Fat is disgusting, I'd never be able to live with myself like that.
>i know but the moon was so pretty last night
It's ok, the moon will come back. That makes it even more special!

i'll try to care about my weight and health to not get fat, but i'm probably going to gain some weight no matter what
>It's ok, the moon will come back. That makes it even more special!
perhaps. the moon is always comfy

i work up at 7am, went to the washroom then realized i didnt have anything to do, went back to bad for a few hours. watched youtube and shit posted until 3pm, worked 4-8pm then bought a few mcdoubles and went back to shitposting

>perhaps. the moon is always comfy
Yeah, sorry you can't see it tonight. Hopefully it will be there tomorrow,
>i work up at 7am, went to the washroom then realized i didnt have anything to do, went back to bad for a few hours. watched youtube and shit posted until 3pm, worked 4-8pm then bought a few mcdoubles and went back to shitposting
Sounds like your day was uneventu. Hopefully it was happy. Are you in a good mood at least?

uneventful*, sorry

>Yeah, sorry you can't see it tonight. Hopefully it will be there tomorrow
the weather here has been awful. thunderstorm after thunderstorm. seeing the moon feels so much more special because of that.

I'm back to contemplating suicide. The world continues to push me towards selling my time to survive.

today was my saint's day, ever since I was born, my grandma has been sending me 20$ on this day, sadly I think last year was the last, her dementia has gotten worse and worse over the past year.

>the weather here has been awful. thunderstorm after thunderstorm. seeing the moon feels so much more special because of that.
It's good that it's special. Hopefully the weather isn't too intolerable and you feel alright.
>I'm back to contemplating suicide. The world continues to push me towards selling my time to survive.
Damn. Suicide feels suck. I wish I knew something to say that would fix it for you. I tried to die for around a year straight but I got over it. Maybe you can too. It's really hard to start feeling better but I believe in you user.
>today was my saint's day, ever since I was born, my grandma has been sending me 20$ on this day, sadly I think last year was the last, her dementia has gotten worse and worse over the past year.
I'm sorry about that user. My grandpa is really close to me and I'm always worrying about when he'll lose his grip from age. His older brothers are already pretty bad and I don't know what I'll do when he loses touch as well. I hope things turn out alright for the both of you though.

>Hopefully the weather isn't too intolerable and you feel alright.
something about how quiet the night is at 1 am is unnerving me

>I believe in you user
I appreciate the blind faith, at the very least.

>implying days can be anything more than pain

>something about how quiet the night is at 1 am is unnerving me
Really? I love that. I like to go outside at night and sit down alone because there isn't any sound. Noises make me really angry sometimes.
>I appreciate the blind faith, at the very least.
It's not blind faith. We're all gonna make it brah. Even if you don't believe in yourself I'll believe in you. That's my obligation to you as another human being. Just give life a good chance for your own sake.
It can be. You've conditioned yourself to be sad so it doesn't surprise you when you're let down, but that's no way to live. Try to be a little more positive if you can, being a miserable person gets you nothing in life. The world isn't perfect but you can make the most out of it.

I feel empty, I just got a work, part-time job, yet it's still 8 hours weekly.
I thought it would give my life more meaning, I was wrong, I feel empty as always.
Going to dentist today so I took a break from the work, I'm too lazy to shower, I will at least clean my teeth to not look like complete piece of shit.
My sleep was shit.

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>Noises make me really angry sometimes.
i'm really sensitive to noises. having no noise is nice but every noise that does get made is so much more attention grabbing. the world just doesn't seem like it's moving right now. no cars, very little noise, the lights are off everywhere. i know this happens every day but it's still surreal to me

Empty, depressed, heartbroken and I can't help but worry my head off...
I also feel fucking pathetic. Rational enough to see how irrational I am being.

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At least you have nice taste in music user, I wish we could meet so we could snuggle in bed while listening to When You Sleep together.

I am sorry user. I am not gay. But I am glad someone else enjoys the same music I do. It's kinda hard to get into Loveless.

I didn't necesirally mean in a "gay" way, it's not gay as long as you say "no homo", it's just bros listening to music.
But yeah, Loveless is great.

Already pretty bad.

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I mean, you know what the answer is going to be OP. either "i am not your friend" or "i want to die". robots seem incapable of any other response

>still no robot bf to turn into my robot gf
bad day desu

>I feel empty, I just got a work, part-time job, yet it's still 8 hours weekly.
>I thought it would give my life more meaning, I was wrong, I feel empty as always.
Employment isn't going to make you feel like your life is worth living. You need to find something big to care about. It's definitely possible to stop being empty but it's a lot of work and you need to be willing to accept it.
>Going to dentist today so I took a break from the work, I'm too lazy to shower, I will at least clean my teeth to not look like complete piece of shit.
Good luck at the dentist. Hopefully your teeth are ok.
>My sleep was shit.
Unfortunate for sure. Sleeping poorly makes you feel bad all night and all day. Hopefully the next time you sleep will be much more restful.
>i'm really sensitive to noises. having no noise is nice but every noise that does get made is so much more attention grabbing. the world just doesn't seem like it's moving right now. no cars, very little noise, the lights are off everywhere. i know this happens every day but it's still surreal to me
Yeah I can relate to that. It's very surreal when there's nothing stimulating going on around you but I find it nice until I get bored. Hopefully you're enjoying the silence. Just use the time to relax.
>Empty, depressed, heartbroken and I can't help but worry my head off...
Bad feels. Hopefully your mood improves. Did something put you in that mood or is that how you usually are?
>I also feel fucking pathetic. Rational enough to see how irrational I am being.
Irrationality isn't something you can control all the time. Don't feel pathetic for something out of your control. Don't let something dumb get you down and ruin your self-image.
>Already
Are you an EU friend? What's got you down? I hope nothing too serious.

>either "i am not your friend" or "i want to die". robots seem incapable of any other response
People say other things, and even if they say those things I can try to make them feel a little better than their current bad mood. Talking to so many anons makes me feel better myself anyways.
Why would you want to do that? I don't understand the appeal of that.

It's a girl user. I was empty and depressed before as well.
If I haven't lost my ability to cry years ago I would probably cry myself to sleep every night.

3 days free from part time job. Doing speed and playing vidya all night to forget all shit around me. My room looks like a fucking mess. Im going nowhere in life. Just because im a alc/druggie fuck up. Rehab in 5 weeks. Actually looking forward to it.

>Just use the time to relax.
trying to. just a lot on my mind now.
what are you even doing right now besides posting?

>Employment isn't going to make you feel like your life is worth living
I thought it would make me feel useful to humanity and society.
Same for getting a boyfriend.
I just don't quite were to look and what to do to feel, well, full-filled. I guess I'll have to find out myself, or kill myself before I get there, that is an option too of course.

It sounds really cute and wholesome. I'd love to take a small, shy boy (small because i'm small) and turn him into my gf. I can't quite explain why - probably mental illness.

Read too much hentai because i was bored, now I cant get hard to it when I fap.

>It's a girl user
I had a feeling. I have no pertinent knowledge on the subject, but hopefully you start feeling better. It'll probably improve with time
>I was empty and depressed before as well. If I haven't lost my ability to cry years ago I would probably cry myself to sleep every night.
I cry every few days but it's not prompted by anything in life. I honestly enjoy crying, feels pretty nice.
>3 days free from part time job
Nice! Enjoy the break while you have it. Free time is comfy.
>Doing speed and playing vidya all night to forget all shit around me.
Don't do speed please. I've seen too many people irreversibly fucked up on it I know it's hard to stop but try your hardest in rehab so you don't die in your 20s
>My room looks like a fucking mess. Im going nowhere in life. Just because im a alc/druggie fuck up
The earlier you change your habits the better chance you have of kicking them. You can always turn your life around, it's never too late for anyone.
>what are you even doing right now besides posting?
I spent the last few hours intermittently posting and looking for something. I forget what I'm looking for though. I really should find it though.
>I thought it would make me feel useful to humanity and society.
Society is shit, supporting it won't make you feel happy.
>Same for getting a boyfriend.
Another person isn't going to make you happy, only you can do that.
>I just don't quite were to look and what to do to feel, well, full-filled. I guess I'll have to find out myself
Start with religion if you don't know where else to turn. The search for meaning is difficult regardless. Can't guarantee it will work but it has for many. Don't even consider suicide because when you start thinking about it too much you end up giving yourself no other options.
People are into unusual things, I won't judge. Hopefully you end up finding what you want and everyone ends up happy I suppose.
Rip penis

Im the speed user.

Shouldnt take this kinda shit, but i have the feeling that its the last couple of times i will enjoy it and then its rehab. no more escaping from reality, no more hangovers, no benzos too numb my feelings. I want too control my life and find out the reasons why i felt like so low for the most part of my life.

The only relationship i had was distance and she was so unsatisfied at the end that she tried to kill herself when we were at vacation. Two weeks later she breaks up. 6 years, distance fucking shit relationship.

I deeply regret i saved her life, because she just wanted to hurt me. You cant believe the pain.

sorry for the rant, i just needed it out. thank you

>Shouldnt take this kinda shit, but i have the feeling that its the last couple of times i will enjoy it and then its rehab
The whole point of rehab is for you to stop taking the drugs because they're destroying your life. I know it feels good to use them but the best time to start kicking the habit is always now.
>I want too control my life and find out the reasons why i felt like so low for the most part of my life.
That's good that you want to get your life back on track. I really hope you can since you want to help yourself. That's a big step to make.
>The only relationship i had was distance and she was so unsatisfied at the end that she tried to kill herself when we were at vacation. Two weeks later she breaks up. 6 years, distance fucking shit relationship.
>I deeply regret i saved her life, because she just wanted to hurt me. You cant believe the pain.
I'm sorry user, that sounds like a terrible thing to have to deal with. I hope you can recover from the emotional pain. It'll take time but I believe you can with time.
>sorry for the rant, i just needed it out. thank you
Don't mention it. For a lot of us anons are all we have, hearing you out is the least I can do.

>I forget what I'm looking for though
I hate when that happens. I always go to bed and realize the morning after.

Also yeah would not recommend amphetamines. Was prescribed Adderall back in high school and oh boy stims and anxiety and an addictive personality did not mix.

My grandmother's going to be dead by morning and I don't feel anything about it.

You seem like you'd fit in better on /qa/

>I hate when that happens. I always go to bed and realize the morning after.
Yeah it's frustrating. My parents tell me to stop looking as well which makes it even more frustrating.
>Also yeah would not recommend amphetamines. Was prescribed Adderall back in high school and oh boy stims and anxiety and an addictive personality did not mix.
Meth is even worse than adderall. I met way too many people permanently whacked out on meth who were otherwise mentally healthy.
>My grandmother's going to be dead by morning and I don't feel anything about it.
People deal with grief differently. Don't feel guilty about having trouble externalizing emotions. It's a side effect of long term depression and doesn't make you a bad person.
But I'm here regardless. I like this place better.

I will do my best, first start with a shower, breakfast and cleaning up this shit today, wont be asleep til evening anyway.

Have a nice day user, thanks for answering, all love

>My parents tell me to stop looking
My dad does the same thing. I'ma go sleep and miss my alarm like I always do again. Night.

I have been on pills all night and morning is already over. I'm also really sick and can't stop coughing. It's a viral infection, which means there is nothing I can do.

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