ITT: Pooping Advice

How the fuck can I poop normally? I eat approx. 10 bananas every time to increase the pooping but after I poop I need to use like 3 toilet rolls to get all the shit out, what the fuck? Everyone I know uses so little toilet paper but I spend like an hour wiping after every shit. What the fuck?

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bro wash ur fucking ass in the shower toilet paper is literally smearing shit down ur crack.

What else do you eat (roughly)? You cant rely on just bananas to smooth it out.

but I don't want my shower drain to smell like shit

how many bananas do you say you average in a week? out of curiosity

mostly pizza and snacks, I fucking clog the toilet every time too and it smells so baaad last time I had to put my whole arm in to unclog it

10 every morning so like 70 approx, sometimes more sometimes less depends how many I can fit in

>TEN bananas per DAY
Holy fucking stop raping your intestines you idiotic schmuck, three bananas per day at most. Everyone knows the food for excrement gains are grapes, bonus points if you just suck the water out of them instead of eating them whole.

eat a small bowl of rice every day

what if the rice smells though

would it be better if I ate 5 with the skin rather than 10 skinless?

You need to either use wet wipes/tissue (not wet toilet paper, has to be tissue), buy a bidet (they have ones that attach to your toilet for like $30 on Amazon) or take a shower after every shit. Just dry rubbing shit around your ass with plain TP is fucking disgusting if you're an adult.

>70 fucking bananas a week
i googled how many bananas is too many bananas a week btw and it says a healthy person should eat no more than like 7.5 a day to get all potassium required
but god damn this is hilarious

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I used to use my bidet but I clogged it

what's so funny about that? at least I shit more often thanks to the bananas, like twice a week now rather than once a month

Wait don't bananas slow your digestive system down? They make it harder for you to shit, in other words? Try eating more apples and drinking more water instead.

wet wipes are a meme lmao

in what way lmao

you might as well put a hammock up inbetween 2 banana trees and just live there user
ahhh jeez i cant stop laughing whenever I think about it

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Try just eating as you are but turn the bannas down to 3. I assume you eat greens as already but if not thats an obvious one.

the only greens are consume are the herbs on my pizzas sometimes

no it's the opposite

stop laughing at me

Drink apple juice, invest in a washlet/ bidet kind of thing.

as I said I clogged my bidet, it's no use for now at least

drink live lactobacilli, like those probiotic yogurt stuff. its the only thing that makes me go to the shitter regularly

>10 bananas a day
>70 bananas a week
>300 bananas a month
this board honestly

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There is your problem. Seeing as how your dedicated enough to eat ten bannas im sure you can eat some salad. Try a bag and a bit a week.p (around two handfull if you squeeze and condense the fuckers).

heheh poopie smell like shit so u poop and shit and poop and shit haha smelllllllllllll your faeces haha

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They arent though

Wet wipes are a fucking godsend

banans are sweet though which is why I like them so much so if they help me shit they're good in that way too

Ok but what im saying is for less demonic shits eat green. Im aware that bananas>Any green vegetable in taste in the form your eating them (not cooked).

ok thanks for advice man but can I add sauce to veg for better taste like ceaser salad dressing or ketchup

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR BEDO FIDO VEEEEEE

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Sure just dont drown it. Think of it like a ratio of green to normal food.

do you like pooping with shit

Keep the bananas tho they give fibre which is good for shits. To be honest one a day is probs enough, with i think three being the limit for them actually helping

I dont get what ye mean