ITT: Your worst orbiting experience

>be me
>be good luck Chuck
>girls never respawn to any of my texts but only hit me up on their time
>the only time they actually do reach out is late at night for sex without any consideration of my schedule whatsoever
>use to attempt to start relationships but the girls would always back out
>tfw they end up in a relationship after fucking me for months
>tfw they ghost and periodically respawn in attempt to in orbit to keep me as a back up when things inevitably fail with their relationship
>rinse and repeat
I'm just kinda fed up with everything, desu. I refuse to be put into orbit while they actually have a fulfilling relationship. It feels like shit being treated like an object and an option.

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When youve never talked to a girl before its easy to fall for it once they show some interest. I fell for it bad

I orbited a trap, in hindsight I'm glad he turned me down before I went full gay.

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Damn.

Personally I wouldn't buy jack shit for anyone unless it's family or we're in a relationship. Birthdays would just be small things for friends.

These women aren't using you. You're choosing to be retards.

>tfw got blocked on 3 seperate accounts by the girl i'm orbiting
i'm fucking pathetic

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I was desperate to keep her happy and make her like me. I was 16 at the time and didnt talk to anyone so having her was the best thing in the world to me. Years of being alone makes you do crazy shit.

I did the same with my girl. She blocked me for being too obsessed with her. I kept begging her friend to tell her to unblock me. I made around 10 accounts telling her how much I love her and would do anything for her. After that she figured out how to use me for money...

>being this stuck in planetary orbit

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wing wang willy willy wish wang

fuck you tripfag nigger

>Played GTA with her and facetimed her everyday
>2 years
>$2000
>when I sit in my room all alone with no one to talk to

$1000/yr or about $2.75/day

Now sits alone. No one and nothing all day.

Sounds like your mistake wasn't orbiting her, but stopping.

Used to get beat up about now i could care less if they keep coming back then start to take it in consideration until then just fuck em

If anything good has come from these threads it's that they've made me orbit-resistant.
I think the most i ever spent on a chick was a dollar when she didn't have change for a chocolate bar.
Hell im so paranoid about becoming an orbiter that don't even compliment women.

I'll never get laid and everyone thinks im a homo but hey, at least im respectable.

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>Hell im so paranoid about becoming an orbiter that don't even compliment women.
Fucking kek,absolutely this.

t. orbiter cuck

oringle

Can I post cancer? Aids?

Bro. Honestly you should just like fuck em

Lmao cuck logic

never had the balls to talk to let alone orbit a nonrelated woman

>in Instagram few years ago
>search through random countries and find qt euro girls
>one is a French girl about my age
>decide how to get her attention
>spam "Allahu Akbar" in Arabic a hundred times on her posts for some reason
>next day I say something again and she angrily tells me to shut up and blocked me. Probably she thought I was a terrorist who sent a threat to her.

Fucking lmao in what dimension did you think that shit would possibly get her to respond?

I was one autistic kid. I also called a Dutch girl a heathen degenerate in Latin.

I found a weird Faroese girl, half of her face was deformed from inbreeding probably. I commented "why the long face" at her and she blocked me

baby's first cuck

I just went through my texts with this girl, that went out for almost a year, concluding on the night when I got drunk and over her around Halloween last year.

Id summarize it, but looking back it wasnt even an orbiting situation so much as it was a genuine friendship with a very clear unrequited crush on my end.

Notable moment though, there was a time we went on what was probably a date
>me and her were chatting online
>I talk about Valentines and overcommercialization
>she says she just doesnt like being alone on then
>I tell her Im free that day and that we should hang out
>to my surprise, she agrees.
>I meet her at her place
>we drive to this really shitty mall with a good movie theater
>walk around the shitty mall for a bit, chatting and laughing
>shes enjoying my company it seems
>we go into the movie (John Wick 2, even though I could have persuaded her to see La La Land)
>I have my hand on her thigh the whole movie
>afterwards we go to her apartment
>chill on the couch looking at our phones
>for some reason, Im in this weird dreamlike state
>I tell her Ive wanted to ask her out for a while, but after this I didnt feel like it was like, the goal anymore
>she shrugs
>work calls her in
>I tell her goodnight, she gives me a hug
>trails her fingers along my sides as she lets go, almost as though she doesnt want to let me go, she expects me to kiss her or something
>I leave, extremely satisfied

Writing all that out, just one thought sticks in my mind:
WHY THE FUCK DIDNT I JUST FUCK HER

GOOD LORD I HAD THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

This isn't orbiting you retard.. you're just a cucked normalfag who can't pull trough.

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more like good luck cuck amirite

Girls claim that thats how they feel like all the time, and I find that really fucking fascinating.

Probably true.

I may very well be a normalfag. My being a virgin is the only thing that qualifies me for being here, and even then that feels like a pretty thin excuse.

Sorry I wasted your time.

Ah a hunter achieving his goal

Bro same happened to me. She kissed me, bit my left ear gently, tried to touch my dick and I retard rejected her because I thought Ill fuck it up. Now she moved away and Im still a virgin

Buckle up, it's a long one. And it hurts.
>be me, middle school, 6th grade
>crush is Azn (Filipina-Japanese) qt3.14
>I'm a huge weeb going to a Catholic school, so the idea of being able to get an actual Azn schoolgirl IN UNIFORM is irresistable
>no shot, I'm a skinny, spergy weeb, tinier than 90% of the girls there anyway, smelly, acne-ridden, hairy, and I have braces and I'm a cringy edgelord
>stare at her anyway at Mass and in class, try to sit next to her as often as I could
>always look away if she makes eye contact or giggles or whatever
>2 years of this
>8th grade rolls around, summer break ending
>realize this is my last year to make this happen and maybe get to take her to a dance, decide I need to become Chad if this is gonna work
>in my mind, Chad is a Shonen protagonist, so I need to be a Shonen protagonist
>begin playing dating simulators (I SHIT YOU NOT) in my free time and imagining my life as a giant dating sim
>I need to be at the right places at the right times, pick the right dialogue options, and have my STR and INT maxed-out
>decide I need a 6-pack
>start doing hundreds of pushups and situps in my room while watching Toonami and AMV's on my laptop
>imagine I'm Rock Lee or Naruto or Goku or whatever
>run lap after lap in my backyard and at the park even though it's the middle of the desert and I'm dying of heatstroke
>run laps at recess, too, don't give a fuck
>start doing squats in my room with fucking milk jugs and buckets because no weights
>start actually meditating and stretching and doing breathing exercises daily
>shadowboxing, sparring with friends, trying to start a little parkour club (NINJA NINJA)
>13-year-old body responds to this like crazy, 6-pack unlocked within weeks
>start actually brushing and shaving and flossing and using deodorant
>okay, in my mind I'm attractive and Chad enough to hit on her now
>turns out she has a boyfriend now
(CONT)

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dude hurry tf up and type i wanna see where this goes

(CONT)
>what, this is new
>turns out it's this Chad jock blonde kid who looks like a swole Justin Bieber and has bright blue eyes and perfect hair
>fuck that kid
>decide that if I just out-Chad this kid in everything she'll see I'm better and dump him for me
>but I can't be too obvious about hitting on her, so I just need to hit on EVERY girl
>how do I do that
>girls like nice guys
>I'll just be nice to every girl
>start picking up their erasers
>start holding doors open
>start trying to cheer up any girl I see who's acting down
>start holding their books for them
>to my shock, this works on every girl BUT oneitis
>decide not to try with any other girl because that's not the ending I'm going for on this playthrough (dating sim)
>why isn't it working
>need to turn up the heat
>spend close to 16 hours sketching oneitis' face from a photo she has in a yearbook
>it comes out great, as far as I'm concerned
>decide I'm gonna give it to her, but I can't be too obvious about this
>start sketching EVERY girl in my class
>get pretty good
>it now becomes the subject of conversation who I draw and whether I like her
>it's working
>give oneitis the pic I sketched ages ago now that me sketching girls is a thing
(CONT)

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This can only end in misery

But kudos to you for Chadding yourself out just for one girl. That shits impressive

Sorry, dude. I'll pick it up.

(CONT)
>she says thank you and I don't know what she does with it
>did it work
>decide to snoop on what girls are saying so i can find out
>it's a convo about how she's texting her Chad boyfriend
>realize I don't have a cell phone
>I need her number
>I need a phone
>start BEGGING my parents for one and finally get it
>go about getting kids' numbers because I'm social now apparently (all I want is Azn oneitis, she's the perfect 100% ending)
>(also I'm gonna lose my virginity by year's end)
>finally work my way around to asking her because now it's a thing that I have a phone and I can do that and it's not weird because I have EVERYBODY'S number
>actually get it
>don't text her, spend a while jacking off and working out in my room like I always do to work up the courage, watch some Rock Lee AMV's, finally get the balls
>hey
>hey
>we have a small conversation about how she just saw Looper in theaters with Stacy
>cool
>coll
>heart racing
>I'm not a cell phone virgin anymore
>nothing comes of this yet
>she's still holding hands with Blondechad
>dammit, why isn't this working
>decide I need to become an even bigger Chad
>track tryouts are coming up
(CONT)

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hey wanna bee my orbiter xd

sorry for rushing you btw but i know this is gonna be good
also if a redditfag is lurking put me in screencap

Ah fuck this one hurt im not good at writing stories so i dont think it will get much attention but ill go ahead.

>be me
>first year of highschool
>in middle school everyone told me i could never get a gf
>plan do prove them wrong
>instead of working out or doing something productive i just fall for the personality meme
>maybe i can get a girl to like me through my personality.
>well first day of highschool was uneventful
>however i met this guy lets call him tony
>tony was ugly as fuck but he had a gf that was a straight 9/10 qt 3.14
>lets call her Maddy
>she had crisp blue eyes and lots of freckles on her skin
>well i was such a beta i couldnt even look Maddy in the eyes
>but after a while her boundless enthusiasm got to me
>she had a nice,cute,lovely personality that went along with her body and face
>she was the first girl to treat me nice
>kinda fell for her but kept it a secret
>always wished that tony and maddy broke up
>until it happened
(cont? or is my story cringworthy)

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Keep going fag. I wanna see if goku wins

Oh, it ends in misery.

(CONT)
>it's 8th grade so tryouts are at recess
>Blondechad shows up to tryouts too
>fuck this kid
>he and I both want to be our 200-meter dash and coach says we'll race for it
>Azn oneitis is watching, so are a bunch of kids
>fuck this kid, fuck this kid, fuck this kid
>race starts
>take off sprinting as fast as I fucking can, cramp almost immediately and grit my teeth and keep sprinting anyway
>approaching the turn, neck and neck with Blondechad
>we turn the corner
>HE CUTS THE FUCKING CORNER
>fuck this kid
>sprint like never before, legs on fire
>GOTTA GO FAST
>actually pass Blondechad
>win the race
>Blondechad is so pissed about this that he just isn't on the team and doesn't try out for any other races or events
>I'm fucking elated and my legs are on fire
>is oneitis watching
>nah, she's holding hands with an angry Blondechad
>fuck this kid
>spelling bee is coming up
>somehow Blondechad makes it into the top 5 during tryouts
>so do I
>fuck this kid
>laugh internally when he fucks up on an easy word
>Blondechad is pissed but sits down
>I wind up going to state finals and being televised and in the newspaper and everything
>showing up to school, people tell me they saw me on TV last night
>Azn oneitis says she saw me on TV
>IT MUST BE WORKING
(CONT)

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My worst orbital case is going on right now.

In a few hours I'm going on a vacation with my oneitis for a week and a half. I will be her only friend there and she will be my only friend there.
>what the fuck that's a perfect opportunity
nope. I cannot do shit because some other guy is fucking her, and she doesn't want anything to do with me. she's very shy and awkward. I am too.

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING JESUS FUCK MY BUS IS LEAVING IN LIKE 15 MINUTES I'VE ALREADY ARRANGED EVERYTHING THERE'S NO GOING BACK

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Just be friendly (DO NOT BE OVERBEARING) and jerk off any time you get a spare hour or so. Kill the feelings before they bubble to the surface.

Maybe youll find a qt in wherever youre going.

>turns out she has a boyfriend now

We warned you this would happen, faggot. In around 90% of circumstances any girl above a 7/10 is already occupied with a chad.

just go on a walk and never talk to female again

Enjoy it.
She was willing to take this trip with just you alone, she may be trying to test the waters, I would say just be optimistic.

(CONT)
>school play is coming up
>obviously I need to star in this
>start doing warm-up exercises, scales, etc. at home and in the car and singing at every opportunity
>try out, get one of the leading roles
>having access to the backstage keys is the same as having janitor's keys, so now I can turn in any assignment late and cheat however I want and know when quizzes are coming
>straight A's
>track team wins districts against our rivals
>this catapults me to such Catholic school Chad-dom that I now have multiple orbiters myself
>I'm literally autistic and do not know this
>pot-smoking, dick-sucking scene girl who I actually had sleepovers with (friend's sister's friend)
>nah, not the ending I want
>little redheaded 5th-grader who is obsessed with Charlie the Unicorn
>nah, not the ending I want
>short, figma-collecting weeaboo goth chick
>not the ending I want
>KEEP REPEATING THIS MISTAKE
>school dances are coming up
>Blondechad finally crumbles
>comes up to me in the bathroom and says I can just have oneitis
>heart races
>IT WORKED
(CONT)

I didn't know.

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you sound like a chad tbqhwy

how the fuck do I keep coming up with conversation topics and things to do for 10 days though? this is a huge step out of my comfort zone and I don't know how I'll manage
she was looking for a friend to come with her since she's going there with other people she doesn't know/doesn't want to talk to. I just think she needs an orbiter.

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k

>well they broke up
>i thought shit was going to improve
>i went from hanging in a group with some girls and some guys to now only girls
>it was maddy and her friends
>most importantly
>just me and her
>i decided i would help her "cope" through the stress of breaking up
>ended up in needless drama but got a few good keks
>turns out she has alot of problems but alot of normie problems
>such as personal liberty from her parents for just the fact that she was a girl so she couldn't go out much.
>decide to comfort her
>she seemed to like that and she responded well
>at first i thought i was the shit i had the gf i wanted and i could get it.
>all i needed was the right move
>i was really fucking mistaken
>first was the lets dub it the Maddy proxie girls
>in retrospect i shouldve known that maddy knew i liked her.
>A 1/10 always hanging around a 8/10 like her
>well first maddy tried setting me up with one her freinds
>it failed
>then she tried setting me up with another girl
>this one slightly more acceptable however i fucked up by suggesting sex.
(i was really horny as a teen)
>continued orbiting maddy
>then it came the embarrassment phase
>maddy starting hanging around chads and the chads would constantly do shit to fuck with me
>they knew i was weak so once they tried doing a arm wrestling battle but i backed out because i knew they were stronger than me
>most humiliation ive felt that year
>afterward i started to hate myself
>alot

What music, program, beginner guide, food?

Just let conversation flow as naturally as it can. What kind of place are you going to, what kind of shit will you be doing? How do you even get into a situation like this?

Also, remember that women LOVE talking about themselves, so just ask about her day and the shit she did if you happen to run into one another. Keep that info down mentally though, itll give you more to talk about later. Figure out whats a developing story and what isnt.

That was the goal. You ever try so hard to become a shonen protagonist that you actually become Chad?

(CONT)
>again, dances are coming
>meanwhile, this kickboxer chick with, I'm not even kidding here, E CUP TITS gets a MASSIVE crush on me
>gives me her number herself and says to text her
>this girl is also SUPER FUCKING RICH and actually wears Victoria's Secret
>I am at a crossroads now
>I've worked so hard for oneitis but this is an opportunity to lose the V
>Chad friend on track team tells me to go with Tits and syas, "Dude, she will RIDE you."
>everybody agrees that this is the best course of action
>nah, I want the Azn qt scholgirl ending
>agonize for a while and then decide to ask out Azn oneitis now that she's free
>turns out somebody else already asked her to the dance
>I waited too long
>well, there's always next time
>decide not to text Tits because the year is coming to a close and I don't want to start something that'll sabotage my chances with Oneitis
>get invited to Oneitis' birthday
>it's a pool/BBQ party, so I can show off my ottermode
>don't know what to get her
>get her a gift card for fucking Justice because my little sister shops there and I don't know what she likes
>get to her door
>meet her dad
>he's this huge Filipino dude
>intimidated, go inside, give her mom the gift card
>notice on my way in that oneitis has a sketch of something on her fridge
>IT'S THE FUCKING PICTURE I DREW HER
(CONT)

Honestly, I trained my voice with ABBA.

>the picture
OHHHHH SHIT

Dude, this shit is on par with that Eighth Grade movie in terms of sheer awkwardness and drama, I fucking love it.

is the Eighth Grade movie good? Everyone says it is but when I watch the trailer it seems like a usual awkward teen movie. It also seems like you have to be a girl to enjoy it.

I'm not the person you backlinked but I hear that Bo Burnham wrote and directed it and if you haven't seen his stuff on netflix then you should as he makes some pretty quality stuff

>i hated myself and i got under some really bad depression
>i stopped eating
>i started sleeping
>the only thing i did was do homework then sleep
>which was odd because fatass me would either eat or go on the internet
>sleep was dreamless
>food didnt taste good
>i wanted to kill myself
>my behavior became so different and depressive that maddy started to notice
>later i did the single worst thing ever
>she asked what was up
>and i open the flood gates
>and told her how i felt depressed and that i loved her and shit
>at that moment i realized how pathetic i was.
>i was practically crying and saying i loved her
>it was a pretty worthless site to see
>so it was no surprise when she said we should just be friends and started talking to me less and less
>at one point i gave up
>i tried to move on
>later i met this one girl lets call her 6ix9ine
>well 6ix9ine was a freind of maddy and it turns out behind my back she would talk shit about me alot
>telling people that i was weird, demanding and needy
i felt really bad to say the least
>and even after all what happened i came to a couple of realizations
>women dont care about me
>women are never "nice"
>oh and to make this whole situation even worse there was this black girl that showed actual interest in me but i ignored her for maddy
theres even more to this story more so on the aftermath but idk if you guys want to hear that

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(CONT)
>heart races, go outside, say hi to oneitis
>awkward, wet, pool-water, back-pat hug
>wet tits
>jump in water to hide boner after greetings and swim laps for a while to show off
>nothing happens at this party but I can't get over the fact that she kept the picture
>call her and her friend Stacy at a sleepover later that week
>Oneitis admits to me that she had a crush on me in 6th grade and remembers how we used to look at each other and giggle
>SHE LIKED ME BEFORE I MASTERED TAIJUTSU
>both have a nervous laugh over how we never told each other, Stacy thinks this is hilarious
>last school field trip, drive all the way to San Diego for this and get an overnight hotel
>I expect sex with oneitis
>nothing of the sort, but we play blackjack in our rooms and I buy her a crystal necklace from some kitschy gift shop
>she actually keeps it
>last school dance coming up
>ask her to dance
>Oneitis tells me that like 8 boys have asked her to dance with them but that I'm definitely getting a turn
>was that a yes
>my beta cuck brain considers this a victory
>sure enough, she slow-dances with like 7 dudes before finally getting to me
>I have waited for this moment for 3 years
>it's awkward and she's got a pretty dress on with ever-so-slight cleavage
>dance lasts FOREVER as far as I can tell
(CONT)

I tried so fucking hard.

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just write the fucking story goku!

>desu
No one who is constantly getting fucked goes on Jow Forums and uses desu

Its interesting, as Bo Burnham is a fucking STELLAR stand-up comedian and he mines the awkwardness of just...growing up, not even distinctly as a female but in general for fantastic comedic effect. He also has this really complex and troubled relationship with technology, as it is what got him to fame, but he hates how it turns us so outwardly antisocial, and I think that relationship is explored pretty interestingly in the movie. The main framing device for acts is the little girl making shitty Youtube tutorials on being yourself, which contradict the awkward desperate cornball she is IRL.

The trailer is fucking garbage, btw, dont trust it.

(CONT)
>and then it's over
>feel ELATED and full of butterflies as I sleep that night
>last week of school
>it's over
>I put in all this effort and that was the payoff
>I actually got the last slow dance at the last dance of the year
>that's it
>8th grade's over
>middle school's over
>numb
>last week at school is glorified babysitting and pizza parties
>we watch Pixar movies on the projector and run around signing each other's yearbooks
>smile when I get a signature and a message or a doodle from everybody in both 8th grade classes, even Blondechad
>realize I actually managed to stop being a smelly, unpopular loser in one year and that most of these people weren't my friend just months ago
>Tits insistently writes her number in my yearbook in HUGE digits and tells me to call her and never to forget her
>year ends
>never text her
>never get with Azn oneitis
>years later Tits is dating the star of my high school's football team
>passed up Tits, redheaded 5th grader, Hot Topic chick, tall chick, Mexichick, slutty scene girl, curlyhair chick, chubby chick, gymnast chick, and Invader Zim chick along the way
>still only got a 99% ending

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99% ending is better than being a smelly retard

goodjob.gif

Beautiful.

Unironically, you should write this out into a different format, like a novella or a script. That was a fucking rollercoaster with a bittersweet payoff, this is good fucking storytelling right here.

user your story really pisses me off. Most of the robots on here dream of being in your situation but you had to go and fuck it up because you were a choosing beggar. You should've just gone with tits and fucked her throughout highschool and shit.
it's not like it was gonna matter! You and Azn oneitis where never gonna be a thing after highschool!
because you would both go to different colleges and it would be over.
You missed an opportunity to fuck a 10/10 repeatedly for 4 years because you were a fucking autistic retard. Fuck you user.

saddest ending to any greentext i have ever read
sorry dude

I think by now he has learned and came to the same realisation.

Dude, cut him some slack. Mans has been through a LOT, and he probably is as mad at himself as you are at him.

okay
cont aftermath

>the aftermath of all of this is especially heart wrenching
>be me second year hit on different girls (whole other can of worms with them)
>she always told me she didnt want a boyfriend or anything this is how i knew she was lying
>after the me incident she got a boyfriend
>lying bitch i thought
>whatever fuck her i dont need her
>have freind
>friend has same issues as me but even worse
>friend lets call him hitler goes down the same path as me.
>even worse of a scenario of me confessing happens
>basically he does it all over text but she has a bf and Hitler is a beta male
>bf threatens Hitler
>feelbad for hitler and give him some advice.
>tell him that he needs to distance himself from maddy
>he's in denial tells me i was fucking wrong and shes a great person and he doesnt mind her.
>according to hitler maddy was a fucking saint with tits
>get really pissed at this point
(quickly for some background context after the maddy incident i became distant as fuck and stop treating her like a friend and more of someone i know, also i got like slightly fit.)
>get so pissed i decide to make a point to him
>i told him text maddy right now and tell her whats up
>he does it
>10 minutes we wait no reply
>then i tell him now im going to text her i havent talked to her in a while but because i used to sh will reply faster because shes like that she wants me to be closer to her for no reason other than to fuck with my brain
>like she will and does to you
>text her
>reply from her in seconds
>hitler is in awe but also pissed at me
>try to comfort hitler but hitler gets so pissed he stopped talking to me for a while
>hitler came back and told me i was right
>hitler was another victim of Maddy

this is all my drunk brain can remember but can tell you this guys dont open yourself up to a women

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seems like most women are manipulative cunts. Unicorns don't exist. And even if you find one, It's only your turn.

This advice sucks i know but it's the truest shit i've ever heard and i've never seen it contradicted unless the girl has some kind of overattactment caused by mental disorder or something

I legit want to slap my 8th-grade self.

I like your fake names, 6ix9ine caught me off guard.

But thats a legitimate point, and you illustrated it beautifully. Glad you saved Hitler from a most heinous fate.