How many of you would consider yourselves 'passively' suicidal. Ie, you feel like you want to commit suicide but at the same time know you won't, so you're effectively stuck in a living limbo.
Not exactly looking for answers from you autists but idk its worth a chat. Drugs are a decent in terms of stopping those feelings, but I feel that they stopped me from advancing my life, although I had no problem keeping up I wasn't moving forward. Now that I don't use I have no real way to distract myself from the thoughts, which are holding me back just as much as the drugs were, but without the dent in my wallet and I'm far less happy, but I guess when I was sober I felt like a degenerate and now I don't. Anything to contribute robots?
I'm letting all my tooth decay and gum disease go free. I suffer from constant pain with intermittent acute pain in my face, head and chest. Every new chronic body pain just adds up and I'm letting it all go until I hopefully die in my sleep or drop dead
I get this feeling you're describing. I don't like stimulants, depressants or whatever else so I just kind of let them constantly kick around. Suicide always being there but not being a realistic possibility (most of the time at least), I get exactly what you mean. Every now and then I swing out of the feelings for a while but never completely and they're always back. If I only think about suicide for 15-30 minutes that's a good day.
Kayden Rivera
I feel you man, OP here I have no desire for my life to end, it's ingrained in my philosophy that death is ultimate and so there's no point dying even if youre raped and tortured all day or anything because inputs in > no inputs. That said I hate myself and the direction my life is going constantly and I cannot shake the depression and lack of motivation, my current plan is to waste time until I am able to regulate and make positive steps. Sadly for me quitting drugs is one of those steps.
Aaron Watson
OP again. Try and keep your health bro, or your passive suicidal thoughts will end up in a real and slow suicide. I gained 30kg (like 50 pounds??) last year cos I gave up and I've managed to shed almost 20.
Evan Morris
I get what you mean about time feeling wasted. I've hated education for as long as I can remember, end of next year I'm out of university and ready to get into the even bigger and spikier grinding wheel of practicing law. It never fucking ends. I personally want to start sleeping sane hours, build an active social life and get involved with religion (get confirmed, engage with people rather than loitering at the edge of mass).
The trap of not thinking of now as time that can be used well is an awful one but it feels like there's so little to do. I could ace my studies but I hate them so instead I'm here. I could be talking to be people but I hate them so instead I'm here. etc.
Tyler Brown
hits close to home, I neglected my teeth for like five years, although they don't have tons of cavvities or anything they're super weak from acid erosion and now I'm torn between just letting them all fall out because it's cheaper in the long run or hoping they kill me Also super familiar with unrelenting pain, have you ever looked into Ehlers Danlos? I 100% have it and it might explain what you're dealing with all the time
Jose Miller
No way you're a lawbro too ahahah
Not going to agree with you on religion, seems like swapping one semi-unhealtht addiction for another but let's breeze over that one, you do you.
Sleep has always been a problem for me, 2-4 hours a night for years, i now get closer to 6 after starting to use blue light blocking glasses at night.
Reckon if we stall the feelings will pass or does one need to attack the issue
Zachary Allen
>be me >want to jump under a fucking truck >decide not to >it will be to traumatic for the driver and a passerby girl >it was 22:00 night, November last year near a highway that leads out of my town. >still thinking about a different method that won't traumatize a lot or make someone feel too guilty.
That's active, we (I'm assuming cos its the online definition) have no intention or plans of suicide, we just blame our existence for our pain.
Alexander Sanders
>going to go to start going to school so I can get a law degree >know I've picked an incredibly stressful career for myself and I don't do well with stress >but I've failed at everything else, law interests me, and everyone thinks I would be a great lawyer h-hopefully it works out bros
Yeah, Law is mostly Stacey's, male Stacey's and people on the borderline between sperg and failed normal but you get a few true weirdos, robots and nerds scattered around. The religion thing I'd really consider looking further into. You can't really call it healthy or unhealthy without looking into metaphysics/theology. Feelings of wanting to go 'forward' in life, listlessness and the like probably do have religious roots.
I block blue-light too but I don't use the glasses, I just set all of my screens to go totally orange at 6PM. I imagine a lot of people stall the feelings their whole lives waiting for things to fall into place, something has to be done, but not stupid normalfaggy 'b urself' nonsense. Got to really think up and up and up until you know what you want.
You study dispute resolution? There I learned that what we see as the answer to our problems is often just the first solution we came up with which we latched onto and conflated with our desires. You might think you know what you want but think above that. Think 'why do I want what I want' and keep following that line of thought until you bust. I think it's a great mental exercise.
Kevin Lewis
Could never do something like this. I don't care about living, but my dentist is way too psycho to have me start neglecting dental health.
Colton Morgan
I don't intend on ever practicing law, whether or not I get the degree, there are other options available once you have it. That said I crave a high stress, high workload career so maybe not helpful to you.
Used to be religious, not for me
Gabriel Gomez
holy shit I just realised i rolled quads lmao, maybe life's not all bad
Angel Foster
Stop going to the dentist. Haven't been to the dentist in 12 years
Asher Perry
Did you need to stop going after you got dentures?
Joseph Thomas
I was about to kill myself once but I got quints with a bateman photo on /tv/, felt good man
