At what point in life did everything start falling apart

great album
youtube.com/watch?v=5CYC8w-qstc

from the beginning desu, they could've chose to abort it, but they didn't, and both suffered because of it.

Pretty much this. Post-college is where my life fell apart for real but it was always in shambles, school just gave me a structure where I could go to class and return to my room, never having to interact and ignore reality. Being an adult is far harder for a sperg

Although to be more accurate, it was a series of steps falling apart more like this. Also would add 0 years old, bad genes.

this is the one and only truth pill

My first memories are elememtary school bullying and my father shouting at my mother all the time. So, literally since I was born.

it really is, thanks for reminding me of that

Middle school. At the most vulnerable time in my life I had to change school districts and start middle school somewhere I knew none of the people. I went from a chad in elementary to a nerd middle schooler with raging hormones and insecurities. That set the pace for the rest of my life.

July 18th 2011

4th grade.
I gave up on math then and became a brainlet.
I only really started to become miserable in high school though. Age 18 I couldn't take it anymore and dropped out of hs for both social and academic reasons.
Life is a meme.

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>I'm not like them but I can pretend
Hits me every single time.

To be honest it was never really even together. I can work out a few moments when life could have really taken off, however. Missed opportunities.

I come from a pretty dysfunctional family so there was nothing to fall apart as I never had it 'together'. But I can name the point when things started improving. It was when after being a neet for years I could take it no longer and after pussying out of killing myself I forced myself to see a psychiatrist. I told him what bothers me the most, mainly my extreme social anxiety, and he prescribed me some pills. A month passed, the pills started kicking in, and I felt pretty comfortable in social situations. That gave me the strength to look for a job and start working towards bettering myself.

The moment I was conceived
I never had a chance for normal life

May 25th, 2014

wot happenink?

When I started smoking weed. It fucked with my head, made me think differently. I realized that life is ultimately without meaning and humans are just animals with no free will. I'll be stuck in this system until I die. I've stopped smoking now but you can't put the lid back on these thoughts. I was such a happy kid, man, why did I do it to myself?

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>be me
>sign up for a summer project with oneitis
>its about doing sports with kids
>first day
>meet up with onetitis beforehand
>first time alone with her (or with any girl for that matter)
>get so nervous I throw up right in front of her
>since then had to throw up everytime I saw her
>have to throw up now whenever I meet other girls or generally when I'm in situations I can't easily leave or were lots of people are present like class, work, or other events
This has pretty much ruined my life as I now have zero self-confidence and can't do anything without throwing up, which is starting to also negatively affect my health

2001-2008 your pick

i don't know but now i'm 40 and running around retarded whining 'help me help me help me i want to be with cute M.' i cry a lot in front of refrigerators in the mall they make me sad

>stan motherfucking marsh is a robot
Holy shit

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Basically at 2011 (16 years old) because I started failing school for being retarded.
I went to gym without routine and knowing nothing so zero gains.
My class mates were very cool and assertive and I couldnt fit in because of autism (I always used to be anti social under the false belief that I could do better completely alone). They also occasionally bullied me.
I failed that year so If had to do It again so got new classmates, I made friends with one of them and thanks to him I went to my first parties\night clubs and kissed girls for the first time in my life (i Lost my virginity to a prostitute at 16 though) so 2012 was not a bad year.

yeah he's a very good example of my condition

So much negativity here geez

if you're a bright and cheery optimist what on Earth compelled you to join r9k?

Exactly 9 months ago.I wish i wasn't willing to help her. I wish i wouldn't have confessed to her. I wish i had given up.

By the time I finished high school I was already a loser with no friends
By the time I finished college I pretty much dropped all social interaction except for my parents and some family.

When I graduated High School. It's all fun and games until adulthood fucks your ass

when puberty fucked my shit up for good

2001 was the turning point for a lot of things
Its like the gods decided to switch the world into the worst possible time-line

Fighting the incel scum. Now post something uplifting. I believe in you ;))

probably from the very beginning, just didn't notice until 30 years later

It was never good but at 24 and to today (about to be 28) it has gotten worse and worse. Just a trainwreck. Its bad enough I was a loser in high school, am a virgin, dropped out of college 2x but now I' struggling to even survive.

this is the best that I could find, how'd I do?

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When I was 12 or so, in middle school.
I noticed I was a different child

summer 2017. spent all my time smoking weed and stealing from stores so I could eat and then i started breaking into cars for money so I could buy weed and I ended up doing acid and was forced to run from the cops. this year I've been popping pills (oxycodone,oxycontin,klonopin, etc.) no clue if ill even be alive in 10 years

In 2012 after the world didn't end. Everything went to shit and it has stayed this way.

When I turned 13 everything fell apart and my life had been in perpetual decline ever since. There were only four years of rest I've ever had and those four years were the best in my life. After those four years the real nightmare began and it has not ended. It will only get worse and it had continued to do so.

What if the world really did end in 2012 and we're currently in hell?

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It always was.

We were just too young and naive to realize it.

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oh god will your FURKC OFF reddit!

Wouldn't suprise me at all

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In 2014
Mom convinced me to drop out of school and become homeschooled. My life has been fucked ever since

9th Grade when my dad started becoming abusive and I was rejected by my oneitis. It's been downhill since then and I've never been the same since

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It was never together in the first place.

around 14-15 when i began to develop anti social tendencies and isolate myself in my room

utterly redpilled

When I repeated a year. I lost myself in video games, social anxiety got worse and depression set in.

When I started self-medicating my anxiety with booze. It's like putting out a fire with gasoline.

when I was forcibly migrated to UK

>be me (18)
>unpopular, ugly idiot with no friends
>bullied in primary school until my 14
>bullied at home
>things got better at high school
>found some friends
>fell in love
>was really good friend with my crush, we talked a lot, went out couple of times
>things started to look good
>suddenly
>grandad died, it hit me cause we had a good relationship, never cried so much before as on the funeral
>mood went worse and worse
>during holidays i got closer with her
>her friend told me, that she told her that she likes me and would like to be with me
>kissed her on a (sort of) "party"
>couldn't tell her what i felt because since then she didn't talk to me
>she read messages but didn't answer
>gave up
>depression.jpg
>socialanxiety.gif
>starteddrinking.png
>now i don't trust people, depressed all the time, since then im feeling worse and worse everyday, stuck by the computer listening to sad music, doing nothing productive (i didn't use to be like this, although i had no friends, i was always kind of an active himself
>it hurt me so bad because i tought (when we had such a good friendship) that i finally have someone i can rely on, someone who will be there for me and i could be there for her
>one simply can't be alone by himself
>now suffering alone

So... Yeah. Things went worse ever since the primary school. Slight piece of hope in high school but it got crushed in just three months

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I can relate man, I've done the same for my depression/anxiety, not only with booze, but with any kind of drug you can imagine
The I stopped and I just let the deprerssion/anxiety take over me
It doesn't really get any better, neither with meds that are suited for it (paroxetine,fluoxetine, xanax and this shit) or drugs
So I just let my sick mind trake over me, it's the same shit after all

I wish you the best bc I know how difficult life can be for ppl like us

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At around 40 yo

Good thing I'm too inept to get my hands on that stuff cause I'd probably abuse the shit out of it
but yeah, the heavy drinking took a toll on my health, my gut was hurting constantly and the withdrawals and prospect of kindling scared me straight
the best we can do is just force ourselves to roll with life's punches

Parents divorce fucked up my adult life.

I'm getting better. My worst times are behind me.

Around my college years, dropped out during my senior year. It was few very spoopy and dark years and then things looked pretty good for like 6-7 years. Tolerable at least, but now I'm starting to lose my will to live again.

I'll stick around though, I enjoy playing some games and resorting to escapism in general.

>Be 18
>Need one class to graduate
>Class is taught by known racist
>Think everyone is just exaggerating
>Friend on honor roll finds out and tells me to literally leave the fucking school NOW
>Nah it can't be that bad right?
>Get halfway thru school year getting barely passing grades despite turning in every assignment and passing every test
>Consult teacher about getting grades up
>She tells me to just drop out cuz i'm a waste of space and oxygen
>Denial mode sets in
>All i gotta do is work harder, right?
>End of year
>Did all homework, projects, assignments, perfect attendance, etc.
>Fail miserably with the comment: No assignments completed
>School staff doesn't believe me
>Family calls me a failure and retard
>Friends avoid me like the plague
>Lose all hope in life and cry all summer
>School asks me to come back under a special schedule where I basically take half days of special classes for my credits and graduate halfway through school year
>Go back to school
>Trauma mode sets in
>Remember how working my ass off results in nothing but utter failure
>Have panic attacks and crying bouts in school
>Just drop out and sink into depression mode
>Wake up one day and realize I'm 22 and agoraphobic

I still can't step foot into a school without losing my shit.

>10yo - dad has enormous debts, constant fuckery within family
>12yo - dad goes to jail, the start
>15yo - realize im autismo, start minor self improving
>17yo - drop out from school cuz vidya addict, enroll to local shitty college
>18yo - emotional numbness hits the fan, constant suicide thoughts and boredom
>19yo current - became a wagie, less suicide contemplating, just mindless grind

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4th grade. I was physically bullied every day till 5th grade, made me want to kill myself until I had a nervous breakdown and told my parents what the kid (who was in 8th/9th grade) was doing. I did ok in 6th grade. 7th grade, my parents divorced. I got a drug habit at 14 and my anxiety and depression deepened, made worse by lack of a girlfriend or friends. Diagnosed with GAD and atypical depression. Now im a NEET.

Probably after high school/college

When I and my peers hit puberty.

5th grade was the last time I was truly happy.

For me, Elementary was the shit! Had tons of friends and one best friend(was like a brother)

Then, came middle school, we started drifting apart. They found more people they connect with and since I was an introvert, I hardly talk to people. I was beginning to lose one friend after the other.

High school, I was basically a lone wolf.

I felt like I was ghost walking among the sea of people....

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i got extremely addicted to video games as a teenager and it fucked everything up.

13, can almost pin point it.
I was smart kid with a huge ego, lot of friends and even a gf (if that even means anything at that age).
But then hormones kicked in, a friend that always hated me started to bullying me, another dudes joined the fun, started to feel bad about myself (couldnt speak to girls as a result), my grades dropped...its kind of funny looking back how such small things can fuck your life.

When I was 12 I knew my life was over

since the beginning of school. I was too shy. they called my mom there claiming I didn't do the homeworks.
I did every single one of them with my her it's just I froze when she asked us to take it to her desk lol.

my story :)
>birth: nearly died from disease, stopped breathing
>baby: night terrors and anxiety problems.
>8yo: move country for 6 months. when i get back somethings different. i start spending break alone.
>12yo: move country permanently
>14yo: first suicidal thoughts. first relationship ldr. met up irl and was painfully awkward
>15yo: skinhead phase
>16yo: first real gf cheats on me. i get my first major depression.
>17yo: join debate class, I have my very first public panic attack.
>18yo: acid trip. become neet after highschool. lose all friendships.second major depression culminating in psychotic episode
>19yo: Join Uni, goes well at first then the panic attacks start up again when exams or presentations come up. String of messy encounters with women. I try shrooms.
>20yo: I crawl back to my parents house with miserable grades.

Its interesting. Life has thrown me a pretty easy ball, far from perfect but doable, yet I crumple like paper at every turn. From the looks of it this is my last chance to turn my life around before I fall into the pattern of self destruction.

I dont consider myself robot or incel but I like to frequent here bc i defs feel like im a square trying to fit in the round hole prepared for me by society. its so painful and difficult and scary and most of all unbearably lonely.

>be me
>4yo - parents split, moved
>5yo - enrolled in school, made new friends
>new dad, 2 step sister, and now a half brother
>6yo - top of my class
>7yo - moved, made new friends
>8yo - top of my class again
>9yo - start hanging out with losers because I feel bad for them
>10yo - develop closer friendships with people who basically consider me their king at this point
>11yo - Begin to notice my half brother and step sisters get better and cooler stuff than me
>12yo - moved again
>Everyone at new school is an asshole, no new friends
>Half brother gets cool expensive stuff that Christmas my step sisters get new phones and new cars
>I get a couple new games (combined price is probably no more than $50)
>13yo - moved again
>a couple of new friends
>most people are still assholes
>not quite top of my class but I excel above most
>14yo - step sisters continue to get cool shit through the year and half brother pampered
>got $100 for my birthday and a few shirts for Christmas
>High School is hell
>Still excel but everything is bullshit
>Came down with severe insomnia
>hardly slept (4-5 hours a day but constantly tired)
>15yo - Even more bullshit I hardly got anything from my parents but the other siblings were pampered rats
>moved again
>few friends as my mental state at that point was awful, verge of suicide
>16yo (current) - Home School
>graduate early
>My parents drive a Lexus and a Jeep (both new), my sisters drive sports cars (can't remember what), my half brother can't drive but they said he could have the Jeep in a few years
>I get a 2004 ford with several problems
>Forced job
>Parents always yelling at me for any mild inconvenience
>Scapegoat for my half brother
>Try to start a career in the medical field
>"Pay for your own college tuition if you're such a smarty"
>Thinking of emancipating myself
>Suicide is also on the table
What do

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get out of course. youre obvs an above average dude with lead weights tied around your ankles. your problem seems to be victimhood

No support from parents on anything, considering turning back to my real dad but he's kind of a deadbeat

Out of curiosity, did your mother slowly drift away from you and turn to pampering her stepchildren and new kid, or did it just rapidly happen over a little bit of time? How did her attitude towards you differ from your stepdads?
Also I'm guessing your siblings can do no wrong right?

you are better off with deadbeat who cares than people who actively sabotage you

Oh no they're PERFECT. And yeah it was a slow thing, I expected her to be all over my half brother when he was born but that new kid thing never really went away. They remember me whenever there is a mess or if there's groceries to be picked up.

33 years ago on the day I was born
Had a shItty overprotective tyrant of a mom.
Things went full tilt in first grade.
>got my first pair of glasses.
>mom picked big giant Urkel glasses
>yay giant thick glasses
>oh BTW. Lazy eye too
>on with the eye patch under the big thick glasses
>could it get any worse?
>in time, user. In time...

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I choose to leave my home country to live with my mom who is less strict than my father, i spent the 2yrs after being bullied in a foreign school , i lost the only friend i ever had, i dropped out of school and ended up working in Mcdonald's.

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go to your dad if you think you can manage not sinking into degeneracy

Look into quantum shift theories, or time diliation.
For me it was 1988, I woke up in a place where everyone constantly belittled me.

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Things never really fell apart for me because I was already born on the cold ground. For me it was more a matter of building something.
One thing I learned about life is shit always fall apart eventually. You enjoy the few passing moments of calm seas before jumping back into the storm and thus is the cycle.
I no longer care that things fall apart. Not in the unfeeling sense, but in the sense that I had to face storms my entire life and I survived them all, so life can keep on throwing more at me for all I care. Too stubborn to die.

Iktf bro. Reading Lucretius was the nail in the coffin

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Weed literally turned you gay. Gg. Study philosophy desu.

when my dad lost his job i think

Hard to pin point any particular time in my life. It was more a case of me gradually realising it, probably because of denial for a long time.

It all fell apart In high school when I got framed as a school shooter. Since then iv had 0 opportunity. Can't get a job now can't go to college can't join the military. Iv made a little bit selling on ebay but nowhere near enough to sustain living.

After I moved at the end of 6th grade. Before moving I was overal liked by all classmates and had a lot of friends that I would hang out and play vidya with. After moving, I became a hollow, depressed, lonely, introverted neet. Starting college soon and I am really scared that history is gonna repeat itself

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It all went to shit today at the moment my parents broke. The thing that made me lost it was when my dad told me that he will love me no matter what happens.

Are you me? I had pretty much the same happen to me, in adittion to whatvi already mentioned before

Moving schools is basically a societal death sentence unless you are an extroverted chad

Around middle school when all of the other kids were acting different and I was still a naive child

what brings you joy in life user? Even if it's something small or stupid. If there's nothing, then what might potentially do it?

June 7th 2018.