>be me
>high schooler living at home
>mom has a hoarding disorder
>undiagnosed and somewhat mild compared to what some people deal with, but still bad
>insists on checking every piece of recycling before it leaves the house in case it's dirty, because it needs to be clean to be recycled properly
>is also worried we might throw out some important piece of paperwork
>however, she never actually checks the recycling, so it just sits in piles in the house and she won't let us throw it out
>house is filled with piles of paper, cardboard, and old boxes
>growing pile of paper and plastic food containers spilling out of recycling bin in kitchen, which we have to step through to get from kitchen to TV room
>no one in our family actually uses the TV, we spend all our time on our computers, so couch in front of TV is completely covered with trash
>all of the trash in the house is pretty sterile, papers and plastics, so there's no smell or rotting food like you get with the really bad hoarders
>like I said it could be worse, but it still makes living here unpleasant
Greentext time. It's a long one, but I need to get this story off my chest
>it's been this way since I was a small kid
>I had some friends in elementary school, but they didn't come over often since my house was not a fun place to be
>as I grew older, I grew distant from those friends and had a hard time making new friends
>I never felt like I could invite anyone over to my house to hang out, and no one ever invited me over to their place
>in addition, my parents never had anyone over, so I never learned to socialize by watching them
>As I got older, I became more socially awkward and isolated
>I don't think my mom's hoarding is the only reason for this, as I am generally introverted, awkward, and have a hard time relating to people
>however, it certainly didn't help
>grow up kissless virgin
>never ask a girl out because of awkwardness and lack of social connections
>there have been girls I like, some of which weren't even out of my league, but I never had the guts to try anything
>fast forward to 11th grade
>go to new school as part of my quest to figure out what change in my life will finally make me happy
>reconnect somewhat with some old friends who went to this school
>meet girl through their friend group, 6/10 but incredibly cute to me
>develop crush, not close with her but talk sometimes
>she starts saying things that make me think she likes me back
>asks if I'm a virgin
>makes excuses to sit with me or have me sit with her
>couldshebetheone.mp4
>still too aware of my own autism to have faith that I'm interpreting these signals correctly, still too autistic to act on them
>fast forward to summer break
>I'm taking a summer trigonometry class at the local college
>run into her there, she's taking classes too
>oshit.awkwardsmalltalk
>she tells me she and some of her friends hang out by the library between classes, I should come hang out
>I start hanging out with them, talking and playing card games
>one day they start talking about disney movies
>she starts talking about how High School Musical is the best movie ever
>kinda weird but cute, and she may be joking somewhat, it's hard to tell
>she asks if I've ever seen it
>I say no
>she straight up invites herself over to my house so she can show me the movie
>O SHIT
>super excited
>awkwardly tell her that I would love to do that
>remember that my house is a pigsty
>warn her that my house will be messy
>she says that doesn't bother her, but I know she doesn't understand how bad it is
>still excited, but now I'm nervous about what she'll think
>she says she needs to leave for class, awkwardly stands around for like a minute then leaves
>later I realize she wanted me to walk with her, hate myself for not realizing this
>talk to my parents about having a girl over
>they seem as nervous as me about the state of the house
>my dad is supportive and says we can try to clean up as best we can to make the house a little more presentable
>my mom is also supportive, but says she wants to know what day this will happen
>she wants to leave the house the day the guest comes over and stay out all day, so she doesn't have to see my guest's reaction to what she has created
>she can't live with the embarrassment
>me and the girl set up a date, and my dad and I start working on clearing the TV room of trash she we can watch High School Musical there
>my mom doesn't want any of it to actually be thrown out, so we load it into trash bags which we place in the backyard where there's room
>my mom doesn't help, just stands in the other room looking stressed as her precious trash is relocated
>occasionally comes in to tell us how we should and shouldn't be doing our job, either of her own accord, or because my dad asks her what she wants us to do
>my dad is too much of a pussy to stand up to her bullshit, but I forgive him in that moment because he's at least trying to help
>when we're done, the difference in the TV room is striking
>not all the trash is gone, but the floor and couch are mostly clear, and the passage which lead to the kitchen, previously overflowing with trash, is now clear
>it feels like a completely different space, clearer, brighter
>I start looking forward to my """date""" with the girl
>start wondering why I didn't invite people over sooner
>sure it's messy, but people would probably understand it's not my fault
>any social interaction would have been better than nothing, even if it was in and awkward situation
>realize my messy house was never the problem
>it was my fear of embarrassment that I needed to overcome
>feel proud of myself for finally having the courage to have someone over, even if it took them asking me first
>I'm nervous about one-on-one time with a girl
>I don't even expect anything physical to happen, but conversation is hard for me
>however, I know that in order to become better at it, I need practice
>even if the """date""" goes poorly, I still pushed myself to be more social
>I would have proved to myself I could do it, which means I could do it again, and again until I got good enough to have a success
>could this be the start of me improving my life?
>the girl texts me, asks if I want to invite anyone else to the movie viewing
>wait, what
>I thought this was going to be a one on one thing
>she invited herself over, not her and the rest of our school friend group
>confused, but decide to go with the flow
>saying I only want her over might come off as needy or creepy
>and anyways, there are a lot of cool people in this friend group
>despite going to this school for a year and being more or less part of the friend group, I'm not that close to any of them, and the more social connections I can make, the better
>invite everyone in the group chat, secretly hoping none of them will come
>it works
>they all decline, and I'm going to be alone with the girl
>still excited, but now questioning
>if she really liked me, why would she want to invite anyone else?
Damn, goodluck OP. Make us proud. And don't be embarrassed to take her aside and explain that your mom has a compulsive habit/disorder. Everyone has a slightly weird family, and if she's not a stuck up bitch (which she doesn't sound like one) she'll understand.
>wake up on the day she's coming over
>excited, but strangely calm
>I can do this
>see a text on my phone
>it's from her
>2:00 AM the previous night
>"I'm really sorry user, but I can't come over. I have a job interview tomorrow I just found out about. Another time?"
>FUCK
>annoyed, but still hopeful
>text her back, ask her if she could come over next weekend
>wish her luck on her job interview
>she doesn't respond for several days, then says she'll check her schedule
>a couple days later (at this point a week since she first cancelled) she says she's busy, and maybe we could do it next weekend
>tell her I'm free (at this point summer classes are over and I have basically nothing to do)
>a week later she says she's sorry but she's really busy right now, and that we probably can't get together during the summer
>maybe during the next school year
>apologizes for not responding to my texts, says she was unsure for a long time about whether she could come over and didn't want to respond until she was sure
>I tell her it's alright, but that I would rather her respond saying she's unsure than not responding at all for days at a time
>haven't gotten a response from her since
Oh shoot, I thought it was the end and you were looking forward to the viewing coming up in the next couple of days. Sorry.
Typical female behavior
>Uhhh something came up user and I'm magically busy for the next eternity
>it's been weeks since me and my dad cleaned the TV room, and I can see the trash start to creep back in
>the recycling bin is overflowing onto the floor again, the floor in front of the TV is cluttered, the couch is covered in my mom's papers
>soon it will be as if it we never cleared it at all
>since my trigonometry class ended a couple weeks ago, I've had very little social interaction
>with nothing to study for and no classes to go to, there is no motivation to get up in the morning
>I barely leave the house, spend all my time on Jow Forums, youtube, or steam
>the exception is a walk I took with one of my oldest elementary school friends, who I meet up with occasionally but not very often
>he tells me he got engaged to his girlfriend
>I'm happy for him
>later I try to get him and another of my old friends together to go see a movie, but they respond to my texts slowly and unenthusiastically, if at all
>we can't get all our schedules to work together
>several weeks and the girl still hasn't responded to me
>what the fuck happened
>so how has your summer been anons
congratulations, user
it's only a matter of time before you can leave this place and never look back
I'm sorry, user, that must be hard. I still know how exited I was every time I had my middle school crush come to my house. Like a 15 minutes delay was like the world coming to an end.
I don't know what happened with this girl of your's. No experience at all with that kind of shit. Maybe she WANTED you to say that you'd rather be alone with her, but that is pure naive speculation. More realistic would be that someone warned her to not go because they thought you were a creep and she gave in for some reason.
I actually feel a bit sorry for you user,hope your life will get eventually better ,dont give up
Damn user I hope it gets better for you. As for me my summer has been as boring as usual. I don't know what to do with my life. I just feel demotivated after realizing that I'm never going to achieve my dreams because I don't even know how to start. But you just gotta keep going and hope for the best. I really wish you good luck in your life user, you seem like a nice guy.
OP, college is a bad place, especially if you have to live at home. The workforce is much nicer and more rewarding financially. Just concern yourself with crushing your studies and finding a good internship.
And for the love of god, if youre doing some sort of bullshit humanities degree at a non-premium college, switch majors or drop out
Thanks guys
I'm a highschooler actually. I'm only taking a class at the college so I can get credits over the summer. Thanks for the advice though (I'm definietely not going to do a humanities degree lol)
>as I grew older, I grew distant from those friends and had a hard time making new friends
>I never felt like I could invite anyone over to my house to hang out, and no one ever invited me over to their place
I was literally like this during the time right after I started primary school.
>in addition, my parents never had anyone over, so I never learned to socialize by watching them
>As I got older, I became more socially awkward and isolated
Yeah, I think that usually the primary social traits that define your parents, you wind up being just like them in the end. But if you recognize the traits you can work on them.
>mom has a hoarding disorder
>undiagnosed and somewhat mild compared to what some people deal with, but still bad
It's not mild if its there's stuff blocking the living space outside of bedrooms and garages. But I can really relate to what you're dealing with your mother as it's pretty stressful to deal with, when you can only clean up the mess and still they'll try to do whatever they can to block it from happening.
You tried really hard to get some change into your life, too bad she had second thoughts after all. Better try than doing nothing at all, after all I think most of us here are just stuck in a phase for years doing nothing, waiting for something to happen.
if you tell her "Why the fuck are you saving all this bullshit can you stop" what would she say?
She would likely say some variation on
>I have uses for all this stuff, it's all important to me
>I'm trying to clear it out, just give me time (she does throw some stuff out, but not at the rate it piles up)
>You just need to cut me some slack user, just accept me the way I am
are you retarded dude when she asked to invite others it was a test to see if you thought it was a date like her and you failed it
Seems possible
roasties don't think like this. she found chad and wanted to bring him over
If I wanted to invite others over though, I would have brought it up myself. And she only said she wanted to come over. My point is that any reasonable person would assume that both parties wanted a one-on-one thing, so no test should have been necessary. If she decided to fuck up this mutual understanding by implying that maybe I should invite others, that's her fault.
She's not a roastie. I'm pretty sure she's a virgin. Also, my school has 0 chads, certainly not in our social circle.
>I was moving this summer and I didn't have friends in the town I lived. Right as I was about to move a girl hmu about liking me.
>10/10 looks
fuckwhynow.jpg
>be me
>high schooler living at home
>fast forward to 11th grade
Its all so tiresome.
Terrible luck, but if you can get one 10/10 to like you maybe there's hope wherever you're going. Apparently you're attractive, so remember that and use the confidence to your advantage.
I'm not sure what you mean by tiresome.