Write letters to people who you know will never read them

Write letters to people who you know will never read them.
For funsies, go ahead and make initials too. The "to whom is this from your majesty" user is amusing.

Attached: 1533625972239.jpg (3706x2470, 1.1M)

F
BITE MY BUNS
-S

When you are not being pathetic you are being repulsive.

have some dignity and remove yourself

To all the faggots reading this, think twice before you do.
If you read this, your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
And no amount of replying will flip the curse either.

Yours,
user

do you mean permanently?

Dear A,
It's been a bit over 2 months since you last talked to me and ceased all contact. We've known each other for a few good years now... You know, I've never really thought about this, apart from the last year, on how well we do fit each other. All along, I knew we could never be a thing today, but I fell for you really hard, I told you about it and would pretend it was nothing, cause I didn't want to lose you. Your lack of response tells me that you realize now how sad and pathetic I'm for loving you this long. It tells me you feel somewhat responsible for giving me even the smallest bits of your attention. I wish we could talk as friends again but you leaving me doesn't make the affection go away, it's just as strong. I can't pretend anymore, I want you, I desire you like nothing else in the world, sometimes I even imagine that I travel to your destination and observe you from far away, romantically (yes, that sounds pathetic and creepy). I've neve been in a relationship, nor done anything of the like, even though I'm only a few months younger than you. It's extremely hard to shake you out of my head, there's always another what if, what could've been done; things like that.

I never truly realised how insecure you were even though you've got the smarts and character to make up for it. I wish I was the one to support you in all your future endeavours, all the good, and all the inevitable bad that comes with life. I think you will make a great head of your future animal family. I really don't think I'll ever meet anyone I'd get along with as good as with you. I can only hope your life is in a good shape. I also hope that your ailment doesn't get worse, and that you get a remission.

I know this letter got very chaotic but I don't think I can write anything better now.

your khv former friend, I

To all the people replying to others just to impersonate and troll please actually end your life. Thank you.

That's not the way it works user. This reply negates the curse completely.

Nuh-uh. Because I invented an irreversible curse.

Feels good to be appreciated

Already planning on it, but thanks for the confirmation.
I'll see myself out.

To: me

happy birthday, girl.

from: me

Attached: 1132098.jpg (786x801, 84K)

Incels:
>waaahhhhh women aren't capable of love, do you understand, men can love women more than anything
Me:
>hey want to go on a date?
Incels:
>uhhhh...no actually i never loved you, but let's stay in a relationship even though i don't talk to you. stop rushing me, i need more time to sort through my feelings okay!??!!?

D,

I'm still intereseted in being friend with you, but i dont wanna force a fake friendship also i wish to talk again with you bcs i enjoy your sense of humour and the way you are. I wanna see you again and have a conversation about those days that have passed and we haven't talked. I don't know where I messed up with you and our friendship but i don't wanna be someone who was temporary in your life and give up on you.

Best regards,
^^

R,
I wish you were real. I hope when I kill myself I see you in the next life (even though I know no such thing exists).

If this is for me, you did not mess up. Please talk to me again soon.

Dear,

. .... .. ..... .... .... ... .. ...

Best Regards

I don't wanna get trolled by random faggots, next letter after D ?

This is what you just said:

ehi5hhsis

Eloquent.

Next letter is u

>girl
IASUGFA ASIUB BSIAHGDUIHAS DISCORD PLKEASE POLEASE PLEASE I BEG UI I WANT TO TALK TO U UH U SOIUND INTERESTING I ADD U N DUISCIRD FEMBOT WE HAHVNE INT$ERNSTS IN COMMON DISKCORD

wrong person, 2 bad i was thinking that you are ...
anyway thanks for reply

can you reveal anything more about your A

I'm a D

I wish it was for me, user

if you are a girl that might be.

I'm a girl

Are u L?

Yes, i didn't know you still browse that board. ^^

Kathy, have a nice day.
youre the coolest friend i ever had.

and how did you figure that out?

Maybe I'm not your girl

How can i know you're my L?

Dear GC,

Well, Seymour, I made it... despite your directions.
Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
Mm yes...
Oh, egads, my roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Hehehehehe... delightfully devilish, Seymour.
I-
Skinner with his crazy explanations, Superintendent's gonna need his medications. When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations there'll be trouble in town tonight.
SEYMOOOUUUR!
Superintendent! I was just... um... stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise, care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming from your oven, Seymour?
Ooh, that isn't smoke! It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm! Steamed clams.
Phew.
Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
I thought we were having steamed clams.
D'oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Yes. It's a regional dialect.
Uh huh, what region?
Uh... upstate New York.
Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard the expression "steamed hams."
Oh not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression.
I see. You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Oh ho ho ho ho... no. Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.
For steamed hams?
Yes.
Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
Well uh- You know tha- One thing I shou- Excuse me for a moment.
Of course.
Ahhhh, well that was wonderful. Good times were had by all, I'm pooped.
Yes, I should be g- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?
Aurora Borealis.
A- AURORA BOREALIS? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?
Yes.
May I see it?
No.
Seymour! The house is on fire!
No, mother, it's just the northern lights.
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham.
HELP! HEEELP!

Yours truly, SS.

Not him but... Du, L, both browse r9k and he related to your message.
It's probably the right person.

next letter is "i" and we know irl.

No! don't believe they might be wrong!
Ask for second initial of L's name! Ask them for something you'd both recognize like the full meaning of the hidden hamster joke!

I'd like to go on a date with you femanon. If you live on the east coast US maybe it can even be an IRL date.

Hey O

Where did you go? I'm worried that our last interaction scared you away. I just want you to know that you did nothing wrong and I'm still looking forward to talk with you again.

-D

>when the letters thread becomes an interactive soap opera

>when the letters thread becomes an interactive soap opera
>when it's the high point of your day

sorry user

I'm not your girl

:-(

Is it him? Is it her?
I MUST HAVE CLOSURE

I really thought, that I found you here :(

Damn it. I was shipping you both so hard.
Your audience is officially depressed and ratings have plummeted.

user, i felt likw you a year ago, and trust me, if you cut contact with her/him, you are going to see that you are able to build a life yourself, and you are gonna be able to leave the past where it belongs

Sorry for that robros, it was fun baka

Don't believe She's probably regretting what she wrote because you actually found her message. It's the right one!

Dear E,

I was using you to get myself off and because you bought me things. I never loved you. Lol.

I'm taking a bunch of pills and want to say goodbye but I won't message you and this letter thread is a mess today and you don't read letter threads soooo...
You know how good I think you are and how much I loved you so you know everything you need to know. I'll haunt you if I can or
I'll see you in the next life if I can
Be good but I know you won't

It's okay, not your fault.
I lurk and cheer for everyone in the letters thread, hoping they'll find each other and someday there'll be a happy ending for at least someone.
Maybe next time.

Ooooooooh...now it's getting interesting again!

Dear R,

I wrote such crazy things to you the other night. NGL I am pretty embarrassed and I wish I could take it all back... but at the same time I am glad I got everything out there because at least now you know. I started sobbing hysterically in the bathroom at work while I typed all of that because you make my heart hurt. Anyway, that is the last you will be hearing from me in a long time. I still love you. When I said I would love you forever I meant it.

Yours always,
T/R/D

I hope you find who you're looking for.
Anything the audience can do to help?

Such a good hearted user, glad to have you here.
D, if you are still here second and third letter ?

- - - - - o,
You are the cutest fucking retard I've ever met and I will not dare leave you anywhere alone. You're mine, damn it.
Love,
A _ _ _ _ _

Attached: 1512472823799.jpg (600x600, 89K)

Then why are you writing to me? Piss off asshat- got someone who can make me cum

Thanks, user. I'm a weepy-eyed romantic loser at heart.
Message D directly though, she might not see it otherwise.

Cuz I wanted to rub it in and apparently it worked lmao

I have 2 of those now btw

Two asshats? Nice.

>Next letter is u
Are you writing to Dumbass?

I want to but something hold me back.
She knows I care about her even tho we don t talk anymore.

Are they the literal knitted asshats off of etsy though?

No, but thinking someone would write me a letter here makes me feel like a dumbass.

you didn't rubb me then and ain't rubbing shit now kek
peace

Best discord name ever.

Dear user,

You aren't a dumbass, but everyone should wear a dumbass hat. Those bitches look snug.

Love, user

Dear MD,

I'm sorry for everything. It'd be better if we never met, I only made you feel worse in the end.

SL

Dear ___,

I know last year our friendship was kinda shaky, we were going through some conflicts together that affected how we interacted with each other. I'm sorry we had to stop talking to each other even though it was for the best. I secretly really miss talking to you everyday. It has always felt like something is missing from me ever since we stopped talking. I hope one day our paths cross again and we can to a resolution.

Attached: DZhK5myU0AE6hec.jpg (875x607, 40K)

Dear user,

It is now my dinner time.
I must go, my people need me.

Thanks for the fun,
user

>we can to a resolution.
Did you accidentally a verb?

Dear J

No hard feelings for all the bullshit we've given each other. I know I fucked it up a bunch with my offhand comments but I never truly meant any offense. You're still my autistic brother and I hope C&R goes well. Go do God's work.

M

Attached: the dream.jpg (672x482, 80K)