Chatting with gf

she's not yours, it's just your turn
>Now I'm fit, at my prime physique and getting more mired every day
confront her with her bullshit. you're the prize here, not her

It's already over, drop her TODAY. Don't prolong the pain, they NEVER regain respect for you. A relationship is a male life bar, but there are no health packs.

The only LTR is marriage, and you gotta knock her up and keep knocking her up for that.

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Trying to undertand a woman's mind can be a pointless endeavor. Maybe, in her mind, you're not "giving your relationship enough attention." Maybe she is getting self-conscious about you getting Jow Forums and increasing your own value relative to her, thus making her insecure or something. Maybe she feels you're a deadbeat and a dead end (if this is the case, do you have a low-status job that's not really going anywhere?). It could be any number of things.

If you want to go machiavellian, you could cheat on your girlfriend and stop caring as much about her, and this will instinctively cause her to want to get closer to you. Doesn't even need to know if you cheat, it's instinct. I'm a moralfag though so I wouldn't recommend that.

What I would recommend, however, is competing for who gets to "keep" the friend groups, since that's often an issue when couples break up. You want to win over the people in your social circles so they "side" with you over her. Otherwise you may be left in the dust if all your social circles side with her instead and you're left effectively friendless. Important precaution to keep in mind. Start spending more time with your friend groups (even without her) and do your best to cater to your friends, treat them well, be fun and exciting, and make them want to hang around you over her if a choice needs to be made in the future.

Just happened this to me. It was like that user said, she didnt say a thing to me and she was already dating other guy. I regret not breakin up with her the last time i saw her.

I’ll never understand how a person, male or female, can’t see that this is fucked up thing to do?
How can someone possibly not realize that? I mean it’s so fucking obvious, is it not? Or do some people just not find that wrong and that’s why they do it??

In fact, she was the one mad at me about how I was the one that wasn't interested in having sex with her. That striked me as stupid. Of course I want sex, but I was scared I was being very abrasive asking her about it every single time I had my home alone because she was always busy working, tired, studying or going out (in that order). After having that conversation I went back to telling her every single time we could meet to have sex at my place, and I've been receiving the same kind of excuses, being the one today more blatant than ever.

I don't understand why she was mad, when I stopped only because I didn't want to be very insistent when I was only receiving negatives.

This doesnt belong here.
There is a board for exactly this shit you worthless piece of crap.

It's instincts and biology. Women most likely behave that way as an evolutionary process. They need men for resources historically, and so will never drop one resource-provider until locking down a new one.
Just look at all the women who are "serial monogamists" who only spend like a week of time single between long term relationships. That's just how women are built. And the women that don't do this are the absolute guttertrash who go clubbing/bar-hopping and cruising for strange cock every other day.

Women are never happy. They're always looking for something better. Even when they're old and ugly, they are never happy. It doesn't matter if you are a perfect 10 in every way, they will always be looking and hoping to find someone better.

Seems like it. Some people are oblivious. Years ago we were very sexually active, but things happened and our opportunities to be alone and get laid went to almost zero. That was a very difficult situation for our relationship because I was a insatiable sexual beast and got very frustrated about it. In order to keep my sanity in check I managed to greatly reduce my sexual drive, because I was tired of her getting angry because I was being very pushy with the subject every time we had 10 minutes alone.

So years pass by, I go from fat to fit, things are starting to look good to me, we have that argument about how I don't seem to care enough about sex, and now that I'm trying to return to my past "primal sexual machine" myself I'm only getting this kind of response. What the hell.

So you asked her to have sex ever time you were available by asking her over and she usually denied it with some kind of excuse.
Then you eventually stopped asking because it felt weird to get turned down most of the time and then she got mad at you for not asking?
Then you now started asking again and she now turns you down with even shittier excuses?

Lmao, just get out of there, sounds like a joke.

Unfortunately this. A lot of people want to think of getting a girlfriend/wife as a "one and done" thing. As in all you need to do is win her over and make her yours, and then that's it and she's yours forever. In actual fact, you need to constantly be applying pressure to hold the relationship intact. It's like entropy. If you just stop caring, stop demonstrating value/status/etc, she'll eventually get the idea that she can do better than you.

Also in the modern era, this issue is accelerated by social media. Women always need to find a new suitor before jumping ship. But back in the day this was a lot harder when the only men she was really interacting with with at social functions with your relatively small group of family/friends. Compare that to the social media age where every woman has hundreds of facebook friends who act as orbiters, vying for her attention at all times.

I don't know you could talk to her about it instead of being a bitch and whining to Jow Forums

Yep, during those years I would automatically start to make out with her every time we finally got alone and she would basically get angry saying that I was being very abrasive, "only thinking about sex", because she wanted to cuddle, or we didn't have enough time, or blablablah

Obviously I had to stop and retrain myself to almost kill my sexual drive because I cared about the relationship and wanted it to last. Now I'm asking again every single time I can and althought I'm not getting the "you are so abrasive" reply (and I think that's because I really make her horny with my new fit body) she is still making excuses.

Let me vent, user. Let me vent. I need to vent to keep a sane mind.

>because she was always busy working, tired, studying or going out (in that order).
Describe you and your GF's situations. Are you going to school? If so for what? Do you have a job and what is it? What is your GF studying and where does she work, and is she graduating next year?

If it's a situation where she's higher status than you (ie, goes to grad school, about to go into a high-status/paying field, and so on) and you're more of a lower-class guy with a low-status job and not making a lot of money, then that could be the reason why she's distancing from you and looking to break up. I went to grad school myself and I saw this happen with a lot of the girls in my class.

Venting can be good user but coming here and talking about it is the worst thing you can do. All youre gonna get is jaded shits telling you that all women are shit. If you actually care about this girl you confront her directly about it. If she's unwilling/doesn't acknowledge your point than it may be time to move on.

Oh man I wish I was 16 again

No one is saying he shouldn't talk to her about what's going on. But he should be tactful about it. Especially if he wants to keep the friends during the potential breakup. But he can absolutely salvage the situation assuming he can identify the cause and address it.

You don’t need to be a jaded shit to see that OP is with a woman that has zero social skills and awareness and generally a pretty shitty personality.
Yes, just from this single situation that OP described.
Also, literally everyone ITT agrees that he should confront her about it and then go from there.

She recently started working, I'm finishing a STEM degree. I thought about the status difference, but trust me when I say I'm busting my ass:

-Went from fat to fit
-From zero friends outside our social circle to having social accounts and getting into new social groups (this is exhausting for me as I'm not that extrovert, but it's essential to keep up)
-From almost drop out of college to be putting tons of effort to finish my degree

Last time we hanged out I talked with a pretty girl that I knew. Turns out my gf knew her too and automatically asked us if we knew each other. I could feel a sense of jealousy. Jealousy is something that she rarely experienced due to me being fat and introvert.

Don't worry, I have a filter for these kind of replies.

Haha... me too user, me too. It was less complicated than now and I got laid every single week.

I actually don't know about how should I react. Should I talk with her about this? Should I ignore it, act like nothing happened and keep working on myself until I get so mired she loses her shit?

That's something that would be interesting to see. Until now, I was the one with almost zero self-esteem of the relationship. Getting fit and getting my shit together is probably changing that.

People never stop behaving like this, even when they are way beyond their 30s.

I would advise you ignore her for a bit and give her less attention. If she really cares about you she will snap. judge her reaction to you giving her less attention. try to ignore her texts for like a day

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Alright, you're not in a bad deadbeat situation, but could you elaborate more on your girlfriend's situation? What sort of job are we talking about that she just started? Are we talking about a post-graduation CAREER job or just a shitty side job while still in school? This is important. If she feels she's "ahead" of you, this could be a problem. I've seen relationships fall apart because the guy is still in school and not working a career yet, and meanwhile the girl either is working a serious job or has FRIENDS who are hitched and living in nice apartments/houses and she's growing jealous of what they have that the current boyfriend can't yet provide. It sucks, but I've seen this.