Welcome to the new semester, I hope everybody had a great summer

>Let's say I'm a old school gentleman, if you will. I don't wanna grab but I sure know how to treat the ladies. And, just for the record, I'm single, ladies. Hehe. Oh, yeah. My hobbies are... uhm... literature... cinema... I love the art work of Christopher Nolan and Brian Singer.
No, no... DC is a thousand times better than Marvel, don't even get me started.

I read books FOR FUN

I bench more than anyone else here.

>flirty eyes
>10 years older
>just walk up to them, say ‘looking good tonight ladies’ and walk away

literally basic bitch tier, you just missed saying your are a foodie, open-minded who does yoga

I'm vegan

Tell them your PL total

This isn't a humor thread user

>What do you say
nothing, i'd just flex a 'cep. actions speak louder than words my friend

Im kind of good at fighting, know how to cook and do taxes, can change a tire, can knoock out a woman in under a minute. Some other stuff for sure. What am I missing?

>"H-Hello everyone! I'm-"
>Black kid looks at you and snorts a laugh
>Spend the rest of the semester behind him and his hot white girlfriend

>2 more semesters of retarded ice breakers
i always just say i was born in hawaii or i like the strokes.

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>white person not disgusted by blacks
not realistic

>i like the strokes.

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I sit on the toilet backwards.

Two Truths and a lie:
>My sister sucked on my dick once
>A man 20 years older than me said my penis is aesthetic
>I cum within 5 seconds after I put my penis in a vagina

> Exit the room.
> Gas.
Profit. You are now Chad.

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what's wrong with the strokes? is this it, room on fire, and first impressions are amazing. it's also more acceptable than saying i like death grips because at least a few people have heard of the strokes

I hate whores that wear stupid fucking beanies

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I sniffed my cum to see if it would shorten my refractory period.

unironically this, imagine being a buff dude and saying that, most people would laugh, then you can follow up with a serious chad answer

It makes the back of their head look like an octopus.

i just fucking hate the strokes and think they're overrated man

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>black kid
>in school
>with hot gf
jej

>Be me 10 yrs old
>First day of school
>Teacher asks everyone to say their name and a fun fact about them
>Typical answers, "I like to play baseball, basketball, soccer, etc."
>Teacher calls on me
>Don't know what to say
>Thinking about what I did over the summer
>I went to Europe on vacation
>Tried escargot for the first time
>"Hi my name is user and I like to eat snails"
>god dammit my fucking autism got the best of me again
>Everyone thought I was weird for the whole year

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

i've achieved the 1/2/3/4. U mad?

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I don't because I know better and I simply skip the first class of everything.

/thread

i take fitness advice from closeted homosexual and neo-nazis on a Taiwanese basket weaving forum dedicated to anime enthusiast.

>i like death grips
Most normies don't know who the fuck you're taling about and or assume you're a weirdo and treat your accordingly.

People into music won't respect will assume you're boring/insufferable.

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>tfw play an instrument and have an identical twin brother
As much as I hate them, these have always been easy for me.

Hello, my name is user, and there's really only one thing I want to say: all women are queens.

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just got a job at an investment bank as a 4th year... i cant fuckin wait for the first day to brag about my superiority to these pussy ass normies

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give a genuine hello as i look around the class, "my name is ___, nice to meet you all"

teacher says "hi, got anything to say about yourself?"

"I can't narrow myself down to one thing"

everyone hates you when you do this i promise

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being this autistic

Peoples opinions of me aren't my concern

*with stern expression* I'm user and my spirit animal is the peacock.
Smile after the class bursts in laughter.

My main hobby is putting things up and down.

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>a LITERAL boomer

I enjoy masturbating to jav.

>attending college
ngmi

then why did you post in this thread? lol
>IM A STRONG ALPHA MALE YOUR INFERIOR BRAIN'S OPINION MEANS NOTHING

Had a dude in my class once say he went out to LA to act in a film over the summer and was vague about it. All the chicks thought that was cool, but later in the semester I recognized him in a gay porn, which I'm assuming was the film in question

Good bait.

“I’ve never been arrested”

Makes people laugh if you’re an outwardly clean-cut, normal guy.

did you call him a faggot for finding his porno on the internet of a million pornos?

>had to do this in one of my junior level classes
We're all adults why are we doing this

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dont twitst my words, peoples opinons of me mean nothing in regards to how i will act according to my nature, i never said I was superior to any one else

Damn this takes me back to sophomore year of college
Professor "What did you guys do over the summer? Let's go around the room and get to know each other better"
My turn, I stand up and say lots of coke thinking normies would find it funny. No-one did
Everyone just looked at me like I had a swastika tatted on my face

My favorite pasta

>"Get to know each other" day one
>never talk to these people again

Honest to god, not even from the safety of my room, with time to think, I can come up with a good answer.

I think I'd say I play sports and I like to travel (both of which are lies) and I'd pretend to be self-aware and jokingly say I'm not sure that's interesting. Is that bad? Am I just way too autistic?

People who actually do coke will think you're a retard for bragging about doing coke and people who don't do coke will think you're a degenerate.

>/thread
Go gettem user

Community college in a nutshell.
Might as well take online classes.

*nods respectfully towards you*

Regular college too. I remember being a freshman and being so insecure about potentially not having any friends that I'd start up conversations with everyone I wound up sitting next to in lecture every time. That lasted about a week though because I couldn't keep up something that I'm not.

Mate, death grips is normie as fuck
Nearly everyone I know knows Death Grips except me, kek

>I have a black belt a run my own classes twice a week
Never fails to get me out of trouble.

Fuck the Fordham Gym

normies have been calling black paint "the song of the summer"

"My names John and I like to contemplate how to get away with murder"

>Don't forget to tell us your pronouns!

I'm a commercial fisherman only here because I'm bored and between seasons. Going to drop out before completion so I can keep on bragging about my money and no high school degree

your peener ain't pretty you sister fucking preemie

I'll just say
>I'm a 21 year old kissless virgin

I once got doubles

"Lookin' good tonight ladies" then just leave the class.

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Underrated

Seriously what's the fucking right answer?

>actually turning up to an induction class
>going to university at all in the first place

The only way to win is not to play

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Just had this dilemma the other day in an 390 global business class of all things, ended up just talking about my dog like a couple of other people.
The few things I actually have to brag about, like a black belt or my car, would sound autistic to a class full of strangers.

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a few semesters back, this dude in my class said he was an Olympic lifter. all the stupid normies and girls in the class thought he meant he competed in the olympics. i hate normies and i hate autists who talk about lifting

solid bait

>My name is user
>I like to go hiking

Say it even if you don't like to go hiking.
If you have a good looking body you automatically have the bitches wet.
Saying some hobby that mixes a little sensitivity plus physical demand opens the flood gates.
Literally swimming in pussy and often girls will ask if they can go with you after a few chats.

Downside, you'll actually have to find some hiking spots for safe measure and walk them a few times so you don't look like a huge faggot if you get called out on going somewhere.

Lifting isn't interesting, girls don't find that interesting. Your body already says you lift. You're just repeating what is already known.
So therefore you sound boring.

i'm the type of motherfucker that gotta have my own, i gotta hustle for my own, and any man out there got to feel me.
It aint about milking off the next man; thats a motherfucking hoe, i'm a motherfucking pimp, I'm finna come up on my own.

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He's trying to smash the girls in his class, not fuck someone from /sig

take this back to the /1minknockout/ general thread

I really do forget sometimes that people like you are out there

fuck user i start a class next week and you just gave me anxiety

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