Do people actually fap in their chairs? Why would you not fap in bed where you can lie down and be comfy...

Do people actually fap in their chairs? Why would you not fap in bed where you can lie down and be comfy? Don't even get me started on bathroom fappers you fucks are a whole different breed

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Why don't we cut off our dicks and stop fapping forever, and when we are horny we just can feel sad?

My dick looks smaller in bed

>Fell in love with a child recently
The meme is becoming real. I need to quit all porn immediately before it gets bad

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I fap on the floor while kneeling down sitting on my knees with my legs spread open and my top half laying low. Can't fap any other way. I think it's because I always lived in a crowded home as a teen, so I had to be covert and compact when I fapped. I tried bathroom fapping before. Not very comfy.

>Do people actually fap in their chairs?
No. I don't even know if that's possible anatomically.
>Why would you not fap in bed where you can lie down and be comfy?
I do this sometimes, but still feel my moving space is kinda restricted, also I'm worried everytime that I could ruin my bedsheets.
>Don't even get me started on bathroom fappers you fucks are a whole different breed
This is the best though. Standing up you have no movement restrictions and in the bathroom it's all nice and clean.

Because it gets messy, you may cum on your sheets, and cleaning up is a pain in the ass, even if you cum on your belly. Also, no computer. The question is why the fuck would anyone fap in bed?

I fap in my bed, on the toilet, on the couch, and sometimes in my car.

>even if you cum on your belly.
You're a drooling, mouth breathing retard if you cum on your belly.

Bed not have computer.
Stoopid.

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I sometimes get started in my chair or in bed then hobble over to the bathroom to shoot my nut into the sink...usually i do this actually.

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sounds quite reasonable.

>his dick is so senseless from relentless fapping he sweats buckets alone in his stinky room trying to get off
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAA OH HOHOHOHOHOHOH HEHEHEHEHHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHHHEHE HE SWEA- HE SWE-hahahahahahahahahaahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAA OH GOD HE SWEATSSSSS HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT A - HOHOHOH HAHAHA WHAT A LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Man, how much jerking off would one have to do for that? Like 6 or more times a day right?

that picture reminds me of my sister
I want to kill you with my bare hands right now

>You're a drooling, mouth breathing retard if you cum on your belly.
I don't because I'm not a retard that faps in his bed.

>Covering yourself up in tissues like a retard instead of just fapping whilst sitting down like a normal person

>Watching porn on shitty small ass screen instead of your computer with a million tabs open and your entire porn collection
Yeah, how about no?

He's awfully quiet now! He must be preparing for his 11th sweaty fap of the day! Good lord imagine the smell, rancid!

>he doesn't turn off the fan and close the window during the hottest point during the day in the summer and becomes drenched with sweat from furiously masturbating which pools near your cock and combines with lotion and spit to make the wettest and stinkiest possible experience to simulate actual hot, sweaty sex with a cute girl's cute pink stinky hole
its like you're not even trying to be patrician desu

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I prefer to fap on my knees on the bed. Please tell me I'm not alone

Considering there are fleshlight robots now I doubt he is doing any work at all. Man could you imagine being that addicted to the dopamine that you compulsively fap every 30 minutes all day?

Watching porn on your phone is just troublesome, I do it from time to time, using a computer is more convenient.
I also use a laptop, and I do everything with it in my bed, including jackin off.

>fap in chair watching porn
>go to bathroom to finish to not make a mess

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The only patrician way to jack off is on your knees with your body straight up. Jacking off on the chair messes with the gravititional push of the semen and the prostate. Laying down on the best also affects this. In other words, I still feel horny because not enough semen goes out. It gets stuck within the prostate and my prostate "itches" when I don't jack off right.

When I jack off on my knees I can easily drain the semen and the orgasms are a lot more intense to the point where I feel my feet tickle.

This guy gets it. Fapping without sweating profusely is not as satisfactory.

>What is a cumshirt

This, doing anything else is pleb-tier

This. Fap at PC, edge a few times and then walk over to the sink to blow my load. Easy to wash away the cum and clean your dick.

People make a mess when fapping? How? I can gather all my cum in my foreskin and keep it there in a load. Then I just let it out in a piece of toilet paper. Never made a mess once in my life.

true patrician coming through:

the correct way to do it is to edge at your computer for hours and then when youre ready you relieve yourself in the bathroom

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>He uses a tissue
Imagine sexually frustrating yourself so you can aim at the tissue

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Your dick doesn't shoot out jizz?

I fap in my computer chair and let the cum fall on paper towels I put on the floor. Then I wipe my dick with paper towels and go back to browsing Jow Forums. I probably fap twice a night. Maybe more if I read a good thread about fembots on here.

that method is gay and so are you

>all these cucks needing porn to fap properly
Using your imagination is clearly the superior way. Stop poisoning your mind with porn.

Porn is on the computer and it's not uncomfortable to do it while sitting.
More importantly, why does it seem like almost no one else has a practical way of disposing of their semen? There's no better way than to just shoot it into a bunch of paper in my left hand and then just putting that on the floor until the next time you go to the toilet and flush it down there.

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Not to the point where it'll get everywhere and make a mess. I can contain it all in my foreskin and then just let it drip it out on toilet paper.

this is the correct answer, fren

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You don't need to aim at the paper, just put hold the paper by the tip of your dong.

But why not just put it straight into the paper while finishing?

>aim at the tissue
What the hell are you talking about?

>mouse on chair
>lay down
>get comfy
fag

But then I'd have to put the paper on a flat surface and fap standing up so it'll reach the paper. I fap while my dick is at an angle. Either that, or I'd have to put the paper directly over my dick, but that'll feel uncomfortable.

I can fap in my chair, but prefer my bed or a flat surface. For some reason though, I can't do it in the bathroom on the toilet. It just feels so uncomfortable.

I only fap in my chair when i'm secretly fapping to cute robots. I get off on the fact they can't tell while we're having a completely innocuous conversation

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The true method is to not fap at all and instead have sexual dreams. At least that way you can pretend to be with someone when you cum.

No you don't have to do that, just hold the paper with your other hand

if you dont sweat when you fap you're doing it wrong,you're treating it like a chore

you're pathetic, deranged and I hope society exposes you for the disgusting subhuman you embody on this horrid stain of a website.

how i masturbate

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And now do you also fantasize about her while having a wank?

BATHROOM FAPPERS ARE THE MASTER RACE

THE BED FAPPERS WILL NOT REPLACE US

>No. I don't even know if that's possible anatomically.
I drew something in MS Paint to help you you fucking brainlet. Notice how the feet are bent back.

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Am i the only one who beats off in their underwear????

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I've done all 3 and chair fapping is the most fun especially because I got a nice sized monitor. I used to exclusively fap prone right into my mattress and bedsheets.

>before it gets bad

How can it get any worse? You are already the lowest of the low, scum degenerate, there is.

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He's not a cuck, that's the lowest

Stay safe, friend. Normalfags hate you but if you just stay hidden you should be fine

No it's fucking not you retard.

Sounds cute, we need some pictures

Cuckoldry is the worst fetish by far, that guy is pretty degenerate but not at that level

You're saying being cucked is worse than being a kid fucker?

I'd much rather be a cuck, and I'd kill myself before it came to even that.

Yes that is worse

You're actually disabled, wow

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I couldn't agree more. If you're going to fap, you must be sure it's as pleasurable as possible. Stopping midway and going to the bathroom? What the hell is wrong with those guys?

I used to do it when I was more of a slob, but now I just cum on a tissue and clean after myself like a civilized human being.

Imagine taking the time out of your day to moralfag on an anonymous imageboard.
Yikes.

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>Not just leaving your mess where it lands and licking off what you can
I can't be the only one

I always finish while sitting on the toilet. All I have to do is lean forward a bit and I never have to worry about aim or cleaning up.

The worst is fapping without a foreskin.
How do you guys even do this?

Bed fapper here, just tried jacking off in my chair and it wasn't that bad desu, took longer than usual and it was harder on the arm but when I finally nut my entire body started tingling and twitching and shit, i might have just been converted

>not doing it sitting in the toilet and the grabbing your dick and pointing it down when you are about to cum

i feel bad for yall

I feel bad for you because of your erection problems

I share a room with my brother so all of my faps must be done in the shower. My family complains about how long I bathe but at least cleaning up is quick.

I personally fap in bed but I can see why bathroom fappers do what they do.
Its easiest to clean and its the most private (some bedrooms are shared or have no locks).

>learning to associate the purest pleasure a man can feel with the smell and feel of a shitter

I fap kneeling so I get a muscle spasm, cum buckets every time

Unless you're in the bathroom, this is the only way that makes sense. There's no cleanup at all, just flush that paper down the toilet when you go there.

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