Catharsis is to purge your soul. What do you fear? What do you love? What do you want in life? Where have you been? Where are you going? Remember that you have the power to set your own course in life, no matter what holds you back you can make it. We are all going to make it bros. You can live a good life and be happy.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
Oh my god is it actually you? I've been waiting so long. Every day I would press ctrl+l and type "/catharsis/" for the past 2 months. How have you been dude
So much has happened since you left. I still have pictures I took to post in your thread, but the thread never came
Hey user, long time no see bro. It's me. Sorry it took so long for me to make a thread. I've been going through bad times. I wanted to make a thread but I didn't feel like I could bring myself to help other people when I felt so bad myself, but I think that those are the best times to talk about the pain in life.
I saw the thread you made, I replied a couple times and then I made this thread. I thought about you, I wondered if you were lurking. I'm glad to see you again.
I knew you would come back at some point. Do not be sorry for not making threads, I know how much energy they must consume. Are you feeling better now? How is life going? I'm all ears
I like that one, I saved it. Post more, I want to see them. How have you been? What's new? It's been a while bro.
I didn't have internet from the time I made the last thread until about a week ago. I've been feeling pretty bad lately, but I still have hope for the future. I feel like I'm starting to feel better so I think I will finally apply for that job I was always talking about.
I lurk here often and I make threads every few days or so, but this is the only serious thread I make. I'm still kind of broken over everything that happened. I am going through it but some days are better than others.
Here is a good example of what it's like. I texted her the other day and said "hey long time no see". She texted me later that night "yeahh". I can feel how she doesn't care about me at all. I am just an annoyance to her now, when I can still remember holding her tight as she kissed me. They call it heartbreak for a reason.
I was thinking about the question of if it is better to have loved and lost or never loved at all. Before I met her I thought it would be better to be with someone and lose them than to just be alone. Now I'm not sure. All the memories we had together only make me sad now. My own room makes me think of her. I think about her when I walk through the door to my house. I'm trying to get over her but I feel like to pretend that I still don't care about her would just be lying to myself.
Ah man, I will never understand why the opposite gender can cause so much pain. I hope you get over it soon, I don't know your exact situation but from what you've told me the best course should be to cut all contact. You're probably thinking of this too, I feel how hard it must be. I'm sorry man.
I've been experiencing something entirely different. I am still stuck in the orbit of my oneitis, I can't get out, and I feel like I never will. She told me her parents would be taking her for a vacation to the sea for the last time, and that she would have noone there. I knew this didn't mean anything concerning my feelings, since she told tons of others, and she still has that fwb guy. I still decided I would go. I am here with her and her family right now. She's sitting next to me right now. I am experiencing a huge mixture of feels. I'm glad that I'm here with her and I'm glad she's glad that I'm here, but it pains me so so bad that I know I can't hold her and tell her how madly in love I am with everything about her.
Pic related is the view from our balcony
Wow user, that is amazing that you are with her right now. That's crazy. I am really happy for you dude. I get the feeling that you two have grown closer. I have many questions. How much does she know about how much you care about her? What have you told her?
I think that the fact that YOU are there and no one else says it all. She picked you, bro. Now you have to let her know how you feel somehow. Girl need reassurance and they need something to rely on, so I think that if she knows that you want to be with her for sure then who knows.
If you're at the beach that's perfect. I feel like I'm watching a movie. Take her on a walk on the beach alone. Just hang out for a while, talk about anything at all. Then after a while just look her right in the eyes and tell her that you care about her. Just say the words. YOU CAN DO IT. Please do this, if you don't do this now you might lose her forever. Be brave bro you got this.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
NOT IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN ME
NOT IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU
BELIEVE IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF
YOUR DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
>What do you fear?
Nothing
>What do you love?
Nothing
>What do you want in life?
Nothing
>Where have you been?
No-where
>Where are you going?
The grave
You come from somewhere. You must want something in life. What if you could have anything? What would you want?
>You come from somewhere
Well sure, I was born in a hospital somewhere, but that's hardly meaningful.
>You must want something in life. What if you could have anything? What would you want?
There's not a single thing this trash world has that I want, it has absolutely nothing to offer me.
You started in a hospital, you have walked a long path in life since then.
What is your ideal life? If you could do anything, if you could live any way you wanted, what would you do?
hahaha man your post made me smile lol. the problems are in the details.
She didn't "pick" me. She told all of her friends, but I was the only one who actually made an effort to make the money for the vacation and make all the preparations. I know she appreciates this, but it's still a little difficult.
She doesn't realize that I'm attracted to her. She has extremely low self-esteem and thinks of herself as unattractive and unlikeable. (even though she's fucking that one guy) One time she's really happy and nice, and in a moment she's really distant, sad and everything about her screams "DON'T TALK TO ME". It makes talking to her pretty difficult. She's also pretty bad at keeping a conversation going because she's so shy. I don't mind this at all, because I understand her, but it just complicates everything.
Also for some reason she thinks she pisses me off, despite the fact that I told her many that she has nothing to worry about. Yesterday I told her I was going to watch a movie and if she wants to watch too. She responded that she would watch it with me "if it doesn't piss me off". Lmao I have a hard time understanding her at times.
The main reason I went with her was to make things less awkward between us. You see I almost never talked to her 1 on 1 before this. So this whole thing is just pushing myself out of my comfort zone and hoping to become better friends with her. There's still a week left before we return home, and her birthday is coming up tomorrow, and mine is coming 2 days after that. (crazy coincidence right lmao) We bought some alcohol to celebrate so I hope it eases the atmosphere and we'll get some space to clear some things up, and make her less afraid of me.
Pic related is a pic I took of a small town in my home country in July.
>What is your ideal life? If you could do anything, if you could live any way you wanted, what would you do?
There's no answer to those questions, it literally doesn't compute. There can't be an ideal life; I've already considered it from every possible angle I can and there's no way I could achieve that in this world/reality/universe. Quietly waiting for death is my only option.
If I were able to choose any kind of way of living, I guess it'd be somewhere quiet within easy reach of alcohol so I could continue drinking myself to death.
>Fear
Stagnation despite change
>Love
Wonder
>Been
Around
>Going
Someplace far away
From what you wrote I think she is all but begging you to tell her you care about her. That whole business with her not wanting to piss you off is just her feeling insecure. MAKE HER FEEL SECURE. Tell her straight up how you feel. Dude you HAVE TO go for a walk on the beach with her. That is amazing that you stepped so far out of your comfort zone. I am very impressed and I'm proud of you user. I once had a chance like that many years ago and you know what I did? FUCKING NOTHING.
Don't make the same mistake. When you're with her, nothing else matters, nothing in the past matters, just you and her. Forget everything else and just do things with her. Watch movies, go for walks, talk, ANYTHING. But MOST IMPORTANTLY you ABSOLUTELY have to tell her that you care about her or you will always regret not doing so. Do something nice for her birthday tomorrow, have a few drinks and have a good time. I think she wonders how you feel about her so let her know.
Do this. If you do not you will regret it forever. Trust me.
You must find some way to pass the time and improve your life. I feel like I'm just waiting for death most of the time, but until then you have to try to live. There is a life where you can be happy but you just don't know what it is yet. Find something to do with your time, draw, write, get a plant, read a book, play vidya, anything that engages you.
You need something to do that you enjoy but you should also try to do something that you might not like that much but is good for you. Exercise, learning something new, maybe even getting a job or a new job. Don't let your life stagnate. I am in a rut myself and breaking out is very difficult but I believe that it is possible with effort and time.
Hello, fellow traveller at heart.
>What do you fear?
Staying this way until I die
>What do you love?
Escapism
>What do you want in life?
Someone to love and to be loved
>Where have you been?
Nowhere
>Where are you going?
Nowhere
Look into her eyes and tell her she's beautiful. You must do this. Be brave.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
You have the power to change your life. If you don't like the life you are living then only you can make it better. Work on you and on improving your life and along the way you will meet someone. If you have your life together somewhat then you have a chance of being with them. Just keep moving forward on your path in life. Be brave.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
>You must find some way to pass the time and improve your life.
I do, I drink and watch YouTube videos
>There is a life where you can be happy but you just don't know what it is yet.
There's no happiness here for me. There just isn't, whatever it is that provides happiness is incompatible with me
>draw
I'm awful at drawing and it makes me angry
>write
There's nothing I want to write, and I'm terrible at it anyway
>get a plant
Won't change anything
>read a book
There's nothing worth reading
>play vidya
That helps pass the time briefly but I quickly lose interest
>anything that engages you
The best I can hope for is something novel that briefly captures my attention, but my interest very quickly fades once I understand it
>Exercise
No point, I don't want to be healthy and live a long time.
>learning something new
I've been self-learning Japanese and piano for ages but it's at best just a distraction
>getting a job or a new job
Already have a job that's decent enough.
>Don't let your life stagnate
It's not stagnating, it's already over. I'm living the bad ending epilogue of a failed life that never had a chance.
>I believe that it is possible with effort and time
Not worth the time and effort. This world has nothing worth expending effort for, it's complete garbage
As long as you live you can change. Let go of the past and move on with what you have now. Keep playing piano. Music heals the soul. I know what it's like to have interest in nothing, you just have to hold on to the hope that there is something for you out there and that you can change your life even if that change is drastic.
Every day is new.
Also I too pass much time drinking and watching youtube, I feel you. That's what I've been doing all night.
You seem to be in a somewhat similar place, but I'm sure you'll get through it. If only because statistically almost everyone does. Going by the average age of this board, you're probably a lot younger than me, so there's plenty of time for things to change.
I'd warn against making the same mistakes I did like a lot of oldfags are prone to doing, but it really wasn't a series of mistakes that made things end this way; just a natural consequence. You'll make it.
I am 25. How old are you? You will make it, user. It's never too late to change. It just gets harder but you will get through it. What happened in your life? What are your mistakes?
I'm 31. It really is too late in a way, but not because of my age, it's just not possible for something like me to find a place of happiness in this world. This seems to be a hard concept for people to swallow, but there really are people out there for whom there's absolutely nothing worth living for and never will be. It's not a result of depression or any other kind of mental illness, some people just objectively assess the world and realise there's really nothing there for them.
There's not really any one mistake I can point to that would have ultimately changed my life for the better. When I was younger I hated and blamed myself harshly for missing out on opportunities that might have changed everything; but now I know I did the best I could with the information I had at the time and I don't blame myself for anything. And even those opportunities were nothing more than illusions, there was never any real hope or possibility of change for the better.
This world is nothing, it's entirely predictable, to an extent it's even predictable in it's unpredictability. It's just one big grind earning money for other people until you die with an ungrateful and uncaring family surrounding you, pretending to be sad as you pass away while they circle like vultures waiting for their inheritances. Humans are trash, society is trash, everything is just a distraction or illusion.
>What do you fear?
Having a boring life and not achieving anything in it.
>What do you love?
Video games, punk music, sometimes I read stuff.
>What do you want in life?
My plan is to learn Japanese and move to Japan.Not because of anime, but because I kinda wanna be like an explorer of sorts.Most people from my country head towards West.I wanna try my luck East and see what happens.Even if it doesn't work out, I can always come back home like a prodigal son.
>Where have you been?
So far I have visited some foreign countries and gained some knowledge about foreign cultures.But most importantly I learned about people.
>Where are you going?
Soon I'll try my luck with college.
The first step is to believe. There must be something out there that will give you happiness. Not everyone is trash, but a lot of people are. Happiness exists in fragments, the pieces are just buried among all the pain in the world. Listen to your heart. See if you feel like doing something, and if you get a feeling to do something then go with it and see where it takes you. Have hope. Be brave. I do not know you but I believe in you.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
I know I can't do nothing. I will not make that mistake. It's so hard though. If she didn't have that one guy I wouldn't even have any second thoughts. But this just makes it a thousand times more difficult
Forget about the other guy. It's just you and her. Don't worry about anything else. You can do this bro. Tell her she's beautiful and tell her you care.
Listen to your heart. Follow your dreams. Work hard and never give up. If you go to college make sure that you study a degree that interests you, or don't go at all. Find something in life that you like to do and get good at it. You seem like you're doing alright. Keep moving forward on your path in life. I believe in you.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
do you not sleep? it must be like 7 am no?
It's 8:33 where I am now. No I have not slept yet. I'm going to sleep soon, I have to work in the afternoon. How are things going? Did you tell her how you feel? Do you have plans for her birthday? You should do something fun together.
we're hanging out basically 24/7 because there's nothing else to do. I'm not going to tell her how I feel just yet. There's a week of the vacation still left, I don't want to make things weird yet
You know the situation better than me. Don't overthink it though. The week will go by fast. Be brave and be confident. Just say casually that you care about her in so many words. You will figure it out. Just spend time together and hang out. I hope it works out for you bro. I believe in you.
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU