..... so user

I've got my lie perfected.

>not having a made up story before hand
its like you're not even a robot

So what's your made up story? Genuinely curious.
>inb4 she was a girl from another state and she doesn't have FB

>who wants to play never have I ever?
>I'll go first
>Never have I ever gotten laid!

also you have to provide your government issued proof of lost virginity

>lying about virgin status
hello failed normie

Very very awkward and I was super anxious
The end

She was smelly and it was difficult to keep my hard on. It took 3 days of washing to get that smell off my fingers and dick.

they knew, lad

>15 or 16
Wow, how'd you get in a group with turbo normies

is that guy in the blue shirt Martin Sellner lol?

>dad talking to me again about how when i finally lose my virginity i will be a changed man
>bored of this so i try throwing out a made up story
>hes wanting to know her name and how i met her ect
>"i went to a bar and i got really drunk and fucked the fattest girl i could find"
>did you like it?
>"i don't remember fucking her i just remember dragging her out of my car and leaving"
>dad stops bothering me about drinking, women, and other stuff like that
its been kind of nice to just drive in silence instead of having to feel bad all the time about not drinking or having sex/gf

i made friends with them between ages 12-14 and i was always the funniest out of our group so i got to hang around with them all through high school

i got raped at 4 by a 500 pound black man named bubba. my mom hired him as a babysitter.

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im 30yo virgin and i think women are annoying and retarded.

with a shovel that bastard had the rest of my squad pinned down for 20 minuets

I hit him not once but 4 times till his brains splattered on my boots so I hit him a couple of times more then when off and took a long shit

do you have any idea how hard you get in a fire fight I tell ya I had one raging boner that day

I wouldn't sit with them they look pathetic

>Implying normies consider the intimate topic of how and when and to whom one lost ones virginity is appropriate dinnertime conversation.

I fingered my high school girlfriend in the driveway of her mom's house at 2 AM, that was my first sexual contact. About a month later i blasted my nut inside her for the first time on our prom night
I actually preferred eating her out and fingering her to fucking her

>28
>Buy a escort
It was good to get it over with, wasn't able to get rock hard because I never used a condom before but was able to do doggy style, tit fuck, missionary and cow girl. She then took the condom off and jerk me off until I cam.

Prob won't buy another hooker. Will try and find a gf

Unrealistic, why would i sit in the same place as these certified retards.

This is actually really good, keeping it in mind in case this scenario somehow happens.

It was with prostitute, ok? Are you happy now?

As a kid.

>I never kiss and tell, haha. ;)

remove the last 3 words

Shit, are you me? My first was with a FOB from Hong Kong during my first week of college. Smelled like I took a bath in a fish market. I showered about five times the next day and still kept catching whiffs of it every once in a while.

I'm 26 and have never worked. When I get my first job I don't know how in the fuck I'm gonna be able to bullshit my way through this kind of question. Having to socialize with coworkers and customers is the part about work I dread the most.

Half of Jow Forums
"NEVER tell them you're a virgin!"

Other half of Jow Forums
"ALWAYS tell them you're a virgin"

Well what the fuck is it? You're gonna get shit whatever you choose.

Just tell the truth, who cares. If they can't accept that you're a virgin then it's better you cut the relationship in the bud than finding out you hate them once you're entangled.

Apathy is the answer. You lose only if it's a big deal to you

When I was 6, I did some gay shit with a neighborhood kid. My dad caught me and him with our clothes off (not doing anything, just with our clothes off) and he beat my ass for it and told the other kid's dad. I'm not gay today, though. I can only get off to women, but it felt natural and right at the time. When I think back to it, I don't feel bad. I was just a kid, afterall. Besides, I wasn't the one who initiated contact.

>Be me
>9 I think
>Playing Metal Gear Solid 3 on 3DS
>Gets to part where EVA is impaled
>Go to heal her in medic screen
>Notice tits have physics when model rotated
>ragingboner.exe
>Nut.mp4

Does this count?

I got a blowjob when I was 16

It was awesome, but I acted like a typical stupid teenager after that and couldn't deal with it properly so I basically fucked it all up.

What I didn't know is that first blowjob was truly a top tier blowjob
The next several girls I did anything with were very disappointing. Actually since, very few women have even come close to this semen demon in terms of skill.

Haven't seen her since, but i'd like to apologize for being an idiot and thank her for the good time.

If you are trying to lose your virginity then don't tell them

if you are trying to have a meaningful interaction then you should tell them (more risk more reward)

You guys wouldn't want to know.

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It was awkward and confusing and ultimately embarrassing for both of us. I was 16 and she was a 23 year old chubby woman I met on the internet. I had no idea what I was doing and she was too self conscious/didn't have the heart to tell me when I did something weird. She also focused WAY to much on the glans while blowing me, that shit hurt after a while and now I'm incapable of cumming from oral.

>9 years old
>playing on 3ds

MODSSSSSSSSSSSSS BAN THIS UNDERAGE FAGGOT

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I would never want to find myself at a table surrounded by normies, and if I did I would tell them I'm saving it for marriage (I am). I've told people this before and they usually just respond "wow, huh. that's a pretty interesting thing to do."

He is at most 16
Fucking underagenigger

I have an entire realistic story made up so that I can blend in if asked this question. I'm pretty sure I have sociopathic tendencies, I can lie easily and make a fake story seem real.

>There are more men in this picture than there are women
Nice.