I feel like a waste of life. I'm twenty two years old, still living in my mother's basement, and have never had a girlfriend. (Not an original story here, I know). But I'm lucky enough to have a group of friends who care about me, and for the past several months, I've tried to transition myself out of their lives. I don't understand what happened to me. I used to enjoy spending time with these people. I used to crack shitty jokes, and play weird characters in Dungeons and Dragons, and get dressed up in a bathrobe to watch The Hobbit in theaters. These aren't "normies", but people who I love and understand, who I can be myself around, and that I've truly opened up to. So why does the idea of spending any time with them seem like such an inconvenience? I wish they would just forget about me, and let me die alone. I wish I looked forward to doing things with them, but I just don't. I feel like a slave; to them, to my parents, to everyone who needs me to be content to live a full life, when I just want to die. So today I carry on, because if I don't, I'll just be making everyone else's lives worse. Here's hoping it gets better, because my God, I just can't do it.
I feel like a waste of life. I'm twenty two years old, still living in my mother's basement...
>Get dressed up in a bathrobe to watch The Hobbit in theaters
why though
No one cares about your life story you rancid cunt.
>everyone who needs me to be content to live a full life
>I carry on, because if I don't, I'll just be making everyone else's lives worse.
oh
i am definitely
laffin
>comes on board where people post long stories
>rejects all long stories with profanities
Are you aware of /b/ and /s4s/? I just feel like you're not getting the most out of your Jow Forums experience.
Just the dumb shit you do when you're a teenager and excited about a new movie in a franchise you like, I guess. I've never really been into LOTR but a lot of my friends are, I just came along for the ride.
Why the hell is he wearing a bathrobe to the movies though, and why is that relevant to the story? What is going on here?
Are you aware of how much of an autist you are?
>Excited about a movie
>Wears a bathrobe
I just don't see a connection. It's so abstract.
Op, if you're like me then you're having a severe depressive episode and you're isolating yourself. for me these are temporary and within a few months you might want to hang out with them again. Don't break your ties, don't set yourself up for even worse loneliness and depression.
Fair enough. It's not like it was a particularly clever joke; we talked about cosplaying, so my zero-effort Gandalf cosplay was a bathrobe and cane. Again, dumb shit. Just one of my fonder memories I've had with them.
I appreciate that, friend. I'm trying hard to keep ties but it's difficult when I have no motivation to do so. It just feels so shitty when they're trying to reach out, and it just feels like I'm being... inconvenienced? By the thought of them trying to keep me in their lives. It just makes me disgusted with myself.
>so my zero-effort Gandalf cosplay was a bathrobe and cane
Oh ok, I got you, it's ironic cosplay. I thought it was some kind of weird autistic tic, like autists that flap their hands when they're excited
>Honey, I'm bringing home McDonald's!
>Immediately puts on bathrobe
Same here. Worst thing is my two best friends literally barge into my house, demand what's wrong and drag me out of the house to do fun stuff when I isolate myself. I never pick up calls either.
They are nice and caring while I am being a fucking downer.
I don't post on Jow Forums much, but it feels really cathartic to relate to someone over this. I appreciate your reply.
Having friends just wasn't for me. It really does feel like an inconvenience when you're so introverted that you want to be alone all the time. It's why I stopped being in contact with them right after graduating from school. Even now I wouldn't want to have anything to do with people from my past because the shame would be too great seeing as how pathetic I am.
I felt that way about friends too and just try and start spending time with them as much as you can. Once you start getting used to it you might even get bored of sitting in your room and actively try going out. It worked for me at least.
Your post was very relatable, pretty much identical to me but I'm a year younger. I'm guessing you are just a fairly average guy too albiet with some nerdy hobbies. Should go see the doctor if you feel suicidal or feel like self harming.
I did that with a group of friends, now I'm very lonely and still isolate myself from anyone new that enters my life, I dunno why I do it, doesn't make me sad or happy, I don't feel anything.
Speaking with people from my past often ends up with me feeling guilty because I'll only kind of recognize people that seem to remember me well. That look of realization on their face when they come up and say hello, and I can't even remember their name... Feels shitty every time.
It is healthy to socialize op, hopefully you still enjoy their company sometimes, just meet up with them for a bit less now and try to keep some form of contact.
>It just feels so shitty when they're trying to reach out, and it just feels like I'm being... inconvenienced? By the thought of them trying to keep me in their lives. It just makes me disgusted with myself.
Op, You can't blame yourself for not wanting to socialize with them, but trust me that it's not smart to cut contact completely.
Also you should respect that they see you as their friend. Even if you dont feel like its true, they feel that you're someone that makes their life better and they enjoy having you around. This does not mean you're obliged to hang with them.
Don't be too hard on yourself
I've been on Cipralex for a couple months now but the improvement is slow. Didn't help that I was addicted to weed for several months and only quit after a month of the Cipralex. Didn't tell my doctor about that either, even though I knew I should have, because I was too embarrassed. I should've known better, I thought I was above addiction but I wasn't. Just another mistake I guess.
It sounds like you feel a great deal of obligation to other people. Perhaps they deserve it, perhaps not, it's not for me to judge on my lack of information. But I would greatly encourage that you show to yourself the same love and respect you give to them. In the best of terms, this will mean setting firm boundaries.
I was in your shoes years ago, and let my friends walk all over me until I had a mental breakdown and ghosted everybody. I wish now that I had had the balls to prevent those relationships from being destroyed. My life is better now than it would have been had I continued the same course, but given the choice again, I would have confronted my friends about my problems with them in the hope of being able to keep them.
I appreciate your words. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much for your reply. I have been thinking a lot lately about talking to my friends about my thoughts of isolation, but it's just so awkward to talk about. I know that the best way to protect my relationship with them is to be open about what I'm feeling, but thinking about how best to say "I like you guys a lot, but lately I have to force myself to be around you" feels like pulling teeth.
I know how you feel. I seriously want to kill myself but I don't want to hurt everyone. It's going to happen, just not right now. It can't.
>when they come up and say hello, and I can't even remember their name
Funny you mention that because it happened to me today. I bumped into old schoolmate who lives in the same housing estate and he was the one who said hello while saying my name. I couldn't remember his name (only did like 10 minutes later) and just said hi back. We stared at each other for a few seconds but it seems like we both decided to go our separate ways.
>twenty two
My god, you still have the rest of your life to look forward to! I'm a year older than you, stop thinking like that! Life will kick your ass up and down, but you need to appreciate the wonderful things it gives you. I suggest you go drinking with them, or do a one-on-one thing with some of them. Go on walks to new places, try new things.
I think you're craving novelty in your life that your old hobbies just can't satisfy anymore. Perhaps a change of scenery or habits would do you some good? Maybe take a break and meet some new people.
At your age, the creativity part of your brain is really blasting at high speed, which is why a lot of guys your age go around committing crimes and doing crazy shit. Try something new, find new hobbies, meet new people.
What would you do if everybody you cared about was gone, user?
Buy the rope.
>another failed normie blogposting about stupid shit
fuck off nigger
If you isolate yourself, and don't kill yourself, you will regret it. Your life will get worse. Being alive and alone is a terrible combination. Very, very few people are schizoid.
You're just depressed. You blindly listen to what your brain makes you think about yourself without challenging it.
>I'm a waste of life
Why?
>I'm 22 and a virgin living in my mother's basement
Why?
>I don't like to hang out with others
Why?