Is it actually harmful to have multiple sexual partners or is this just a meme? I'm trying to find actual statistics and information on this, but the only articles I find in opposition to this are obvious roastie feminists.
Drop some red-pills about female sexuality.
What is hpv
Yes. Having more than 1 partner is tied heavily to divorce rates and general unhappiness. HOWEVER, it's not necessarily because of having more than 1 partner. It could be that the type of person who sleeps with more than 1 person is just more likely to get divorced and be unhappy.
You and your statistics, you think your will find your answer in statistics.
Sex has become all but purely lust. Multiple partners is degenerate
Having lots of partners effects pair bonding making it much more likely she will never be able to find a permenant mate. Typically they become hostile to everything and everyone they come in contact with because of this.
Do women who sleep around before a relationship tend to grow discontent with one person?
My girlfriend of 3 years says a part of her doesn't want to commit so she can "be free and not be tied down." We haven't broken up because we don't know if this is just a phase, her ego pushing me away or if this is truly right for both of us. I love her to death though and I struggle with it too. I slept with people before her and have had the option to during our relationship. Sure, a part of me wants to fuck another girl because it's "new", but ultimately, I love my girlfriend. I don't know if this can be worked through, if she can transcend these urges and commit. I've been wondering if this is the result of us not waiting until marriage or having partners before each other.
Shit is really heartbreaking desu.
>My girlfriend of 3 years says a part of her doesn't want to commit so she can "be free and not be tied down."
You sound like a fucking C.u.c.k! dump the bitch or fuck other girls on the side because i guaranteed shes fucking other dudes. Also why the fuck would you fall in love in someone like her? she sounds like posion.
Just a woman , this is the redpill
If she already is says she doesn't want to be tied down, that is says a lot. Guess who that is?: YOU. If she thinks you are holding her down, or not free, you already lost her. Her mind is already straying. The sad part is that you already can't see the insult. Marrying you is bondage to her. Get out while you can.
Get out now or be prepared for hurt
promiscuity is disgusting
I've slept with plenty of women already and I'm sick of it, nothing but a distraction from self-actualization.
I do see the insult, hence why it's heartbreaking. You obviously don't understand the full situation from a brief paragraph. This girl was head over heels for me for the first two years of our relationship, like she would burst into tears because she found someone like me. During some of that time, I was the runner who found myself getting attracted to other women and wanting to hit the dating scene again. Now, the pendulum has swung back and it's her that has these feelings. It seems wrong to dump her for having the same confusing feelings I had a year ago because I managed to snap out of it and rekindle the spark that pulled us together. Shit has just been really rough lately for us individually and we haven't been on the same page in a while. What keeps me with her is the possibility that we can recenter ourselves.
We're going camping next week and taking LSD to see how we outta proceed.
You are confusing love with infatuation. Love lasts, infatuation doesn't, hence why it is transient. Your relationship is already dead/dying. The insult she offered your way after being together after 3 years shows it is over. Her heart years for something else. You are the safe/secure person. He will move on if/when she find someone who wows her.
Here's the biggest red-pill of them all.
You will always be a Virgin if you use the term "red-pill" in mixed company
with gun rights, yes.
so you rather give your heart to someone who doesn't want it? dude forget her you stupid nigger!
The problem is that you stopped spinning plates and put her pussy on a pedestal. Now she resents you for it. Go back to being a chad and she will love you for it.
Women are fucked up, user
Part 2:
I had sex with one girl, am I fucked?
You are asking in the wrong place. Most here never had any real contact with a female.
Let me translate what she said into something you can understand:
>You're not the man I want to be married to, but I don't want to let you go in case I can't find the man I want. Stick around until I find someone better than you.
Drop her. As soon as a woman tells you that you're not husband material for her, drop her.
It's acceptable to be unsure 3 months into a relationship. It is not acceptable to be unsure 3 years into a relationship.
Be proud of it lil nigga. You still pure, just dont let a women know about it. Also STD free
This, after the 2-3 year mark you should be already be married. There better be a reason why you aren't after 3 years, (like financial, environment, family, or other critical events).
I just want to find a girl that has similar ideas to me.
Probably actual STD free, not even herpes which like 70% of western women have.
It must be since I'm fucked
It's called hyper gamy
>tfw 15+
This goes doubly so in reverse. If you are a woman and you're with a guy for 3 years and he isn't willing to commit, he's not going to. (However, men have a LOT of incentive to stay the fuck away from marriage because of how stacked against them it is)
You don't have time to waste as a woman. You have 10 - 15 years to find someone and get married. That's realistically like 5-10 guys you can get to know in your life time and your best breeding age is in your early twenties. You've severely fucked up as a woman if you hit 30 and no long-term commitment from any guys.
P.S. if you want men to be more willing to commit, you'd better damn well fight for saner marriage and divorce laws. Or else enjoy your spinster 30's.
The more partners someone has an inverse relationship with the effectiveness of the physiological phenomena that is love.
A woman who is a virgin has a higher capacity to remain romantically stable. She has virtually zero chance of stds, and has no chance of having children before she is prepared. By delaying sex, a woman may have enough kids in an environment that gives higher potential of a good childhood.
>Is it actually harmful to have multiple sexual partners
>t. virgin
This is true, but good luck getting that to happen in this nation.
That isn't the difference between love and infatuation at all. Love is the root of all human bonds. There is no difference between the love you feel with your best friend and the love you feel with your mother, for example. They only appear different because the "pure love" is filtered through your sense of self and identity.
True love is unconditional and no relationship experiences this 100% of the time. Relationships are nothing but love +attachment. It is you and another person playing a role together, a role in acting out the drama of love. Most people die without fully understanding this and the nature of love because it's so well hidden and elusive.
I've felt it's pureness only once before, when my current girlfriend and I were about to break up (3-4 months in). We were on LSD and I couldn't help but realize that the "spark" had faded in our relationship. It got so bad and depressing that I finally brought it up to her and she cried about how I didn't love her anymore. I kept trying to explain what I was feeling, wishing she could understand that it's a problem within me. Suddenly, she understood me fully and we were on the same page again. This feeling fleeted away and I realized that's what I was looking for, whatever that brief connection was. We kept talking and suddenly, my heart exploded with a spiritual warmth. It was like the honeymoon "spark" x100. It's everything I had been seeking in a woman. We were looking through each other, into the very core of our Beings, and I heard every word she spoke as the voice in my head, some telepathic connection of thoughts.
This experience basically showed me that true love is free from all attachments. At the end of the day, though it may hurt to let her go, I'll always have that true unconditional love for her. But it also taught me that we are all the same at our core. Metaphysically, I will be seeking her out in every other girl, but only because we are all the same base consciousness.
Thank you
Sucker.
You speak the truth user and it's fucking terrible. At our peak, we didn't have to play these roles and were utterly transparent about who we were. It fucking sucks how the moment you start drifting apart, you have to play that role again or she will leave.
I don't really know how to go back to that mindset though. It was just a state of being rather than a practical set of rules, it was just who I was.
Thank you, I will take your advice to heart, and NEVER DO LSD.
This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks guys.
t.shlomo
virgin - 10% chance of divorce
20 partners - 90% chance of divorce
And it goes up lineally from virgin to 20 partners, and beyond that is totally broken territory I suppose. And the mans partner count has no correlation with divorce.
Can't fucking read any of them wtf is this?
This is just my experience, but I think that the more partners you have, the more you damage your ability to emotionally attach to people. It reduces your ability to bond.
This is why you will notice both men and women who have had tons of partners are basically emotional husks and incapable of love or meaningful attachment.
Kek. Haven't taken the psychedelic-pill yet? These substances are tools in deconstructing yourself and your understanding of reality and seeing things as they truly are. They don't bestow upon you infinite wisdom like the Tim Leary types like to claim, but they do let you experience basic spiritual truths.
yes it's harmful you idiot.
depreciating value on a pussy.
very simple math.
Why doesn't this affect men?
I don't know the cause, only the data and correlations.
This is why I said it was infatuation. Infatuation is feelings. Love is rational not how you feel. it has meaning not emotion. This is why the emotional bond is strong and fleeting, it isn't genuine only good feelings. Love does not change and has a reason. Notice you keep bringing up how you feel and felt not what you did or what you enjoyed about her.
The LSD is only affecting your sensual feelings and emotions. There is no real love in it. She already stated it when when she indirectly said marrying you is a prison. This is not love period. Your comments on how you feel and not what was done is proof of it. It is infatuation and you are trying to gain the emotional feedback of it not the relationship.
I see th distinction but it’s practically irrelevant desu
Maybe the fact that I'm 20 and she's 19? It doesn't seem wise to get married this young when we're still figuring ourselves out. This is the only reason I haven't dumped her immediately, because I was in her mindset 8-10 months before.
Statistics in this context are of marginal value at best, as failed relationships lead to more relationships which means more sexual partners. It's stands perfectly to reason that people who have only had one sexual partner are orders of magnitude more likely to not have had a divorce. Jow Forums consistently confuses symptom and cause on this particular subject. I'm using the term "confuses" generously. In reality it's more like "willfully misinterprets to support preconceptions."
If you can't find out in 2-3 years if you want to stay together you simply never really sat down and made the tough conversation on your futures, your pasts, and current choices. learn to tlak more and enjoy less. Make the tough conversations. If you feel too young, why? most got married in the past then.
polyamory is definitely unhealthy... If you're just talking about having multiple partners throughout your life, I mean what do you expect? If you decide that the first person you sleep with isn't the person you want to be with the rest of your life, are you supposed to just give up on fucking cause you already had your one partner? Also, if you fap to porn then it doesn't really matter, cause porn will ruin sex for you in the exact same way sleeping with multiple partners would.
Would any of you guys be in a relationship with girl who was in relationship with a guy for 7 years? i wouldn't and i know a women wouldn't either.
It probably does. But there’s no real data for men that I’ve seen.
>here is no difference between the love you feel with your best friend and the love you feel with your mother
uuuuuh there is.
Which way the causation goes is totally irrelevant. If you meet a girl who has had twenty dicks, she’s worthless as a wife right.
Regardless of Whether she took twenty dicks Because she is a fucked up person, ow whether she is a fucked up person becauss she took twenty dicks, the outcome is the same, worthless as a wife
I've been with 12 women.
All of the women I've been with have had more sexual partners than me.
All of the women I've been with are batshit crazy.
Sex is good tho
>most got married in the past then.
And women's plumbing used to dry up the the point that it was dangerous to procreate past 30 and child mortality use to be in the ballpark of 50%. Then shit changed for the better, affording people the opportunity to make more informed decisions. You shouldn't be rushing your decision to get married to someone because procreation used to be a crapshoot with a small window of opportunity any more than you should get up at 4am ride a horse to work.
>Love is rational not how you feel.
The issues arising in this exchange are purely semantic. Making the rational decision to stay with someone IS rooted in the "pure unconditional love" that I'm talking about, but you're both making an agreement to play the role of wife/husband. You are merely attaching this role to the underlying feeling, but the attachment is not the feeling itself. The pure love I speak of can only be felt in the present moment with another. That's why you feel so close with your friends during a shared laughter.
>Notice you keep bringing up how you feel and felt not what you did or what you enjoyed about her.
That's because this isn't my blog post about our adventures together. The only reason I told that story is because it changed me from an atheist into a person more open to the idea that there is a spiritual aspect of this existence and helped me understand what the root of love is.
>This is not love period.
Sure doesn't feel like it lately, but I have no doubt that it's there. The honeymoon phase isn't simply a phase, it's always there just waiting to be nurtured with mutual understanding and compassion. If you tell yourself that the initial fire that brought you together is gone, then you have made it so because you create your own reality.
In short, we have become very distant lately, but she didn't always feel that committing to me was being "tied down." It wasn't that long ago that she was constantly bringing up what age we'd get married, and I was the one running at that time. At the end of the day, I will be focusing on myself as an individual and if things work out, great. If not, I wish her the best. But until that's more clear, I will do what I can to mend this divide.
it’s likely drying out quicker again because of the onset of estrogen in everything, for real. Women’s cycles are beginning earlier. Hence why women hit the wall in their 20s now sometimes
The only difference is a distinction of the rational mind and how much "magnitude" of love you're willing to receive. At it's core, it is the same.
Id say there’s a qualitative difference as there’s lust, usually, in the equation with the mother. Though I don’t see the overwhelming relevance of this
usually NOT in the equation I meant to say
It harms society, ethics and morals. The population also focuses to much on sex and less about improving themselves or society
The only option you have left to salvage this is to talk, including why she think marrying you is a prison and why you haven't done it already. Most people married after 2+ years. Only in the modern screwed up culture do we have this mess.
This is the time to ask her why she doesn't want to be committed and why you haven't already. This isn't about the self-deluded feelings anymore but the future. You need to stop also talking about feelings and more about what is going to be done.
>Faggot had to resort to LSD to trick his mind into sticking with his fat ass girlfriend of 3-4 months
Seriously dude this was pretentious shit. You should be ashamed of how stupid and pathetic you are.
Same. In the current state of western society it seems impossible, maybe only through online dating like okc
>Which way the causation goes is totally irrelevant.
If you assume sex only happens in relationships, sure. If she's taken 20 dicks because she's had 20 relationships fail, that makes sense. But realistically there are people out there who have casual sex and are perfectly capable of maintaining a healthy monogamous relationship. You can meme all you like but it's an objective fact that this happens.
Before you jump down my throat let me make it clear that I completely agree with you that promiscuity is a red flag. I just also think that red flags are exclusively useful on a macroscopic scale. If I'm interacting with a single person on a personal level I make the effort to judge their character as an individual.
Sorry it came off that way user, wasn't my intention. It didn't trick my mind into staying, my mind was tricking me into thinking I should leave.
sex with multiple partners makes pairbonding harder for women.
every time they have sex their system gets flooded with oxytocin, the receptors for oxytocin get down-regulated from repeated exposure. Down-regulation is the process by which over-stimulation of receptors causes cells to decommission the sites, potentially permanently.
More partners -> Less they will ever care for their "final choice"
>Before you jump down my throat let me make it clear that I completely agree with you that promiscuity is a red flag. I just also think that red flags are exclusively useful on a macroscopic scale. If I'm interacting with a single person on a personal level I make the effort to judge their character as an individual.
Sure. A generalisation is a generalisation after all. Though I differ in that I don’t think the women who casual sex it up but maintain long-term marriagability are very common. I believe they’re rare enough that it’s not worth discussing them.
We can go anecdote vs anecdote but there’s no point. All I’ll say is that the promiscuous girls in relationships I know are always looking to trade up to one of the bad boys they hooked up with in the past.
This is good advice. I also think the only way it would work out is if I detached myself from her and work on myself as the priority. Start eating better, work out often, spend my time reading and writing rather than playing a game or browsing the internet. This is how I used to be and I fell off a bit after experiencing a personal tragedy and I think she's really just missing the man I used to be.
I should also mention that women get bursts of oxytocin during childbirth and you should be there with them for that.
wait, if a girl even fucked one other guy before marriage, there's a 50% chance she will divorce me? the fuck?
This and this. If you want an equivalent in men, it’s the downregulation of dopamine from watching porn
But still as man it's more profitable if women are like this. Marriage just puts more restrictions on men who are already ordered and struggle to find a sexual partner.
no it means there is a 90% chance she will dump a below average loser
Yeah my dude the risk shoots up after just one partner.
You can see why it was virgin brides valued in the past, not just 1-prior-partner brides
Just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to offer advice, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear or if you just called me a faggot. Didn't want the thread to be about this but I appreciate the insight immensely.
Jesus man, grow some balls. Tell her to fuck off.
No. It’s only better for the top 10% of men whom the women all chase. There is no equal distribution of promiscuity. 80/20 rule / law of unequal distribution
Better than ending up miserable in the future. A bit of misery now to avoid disaster later is worth it. Do what needs to be done, Sleep on it, and it won’t seem so bad.
She isn't worth your time. Any woman who uses the phrase "I want to be free and not be tied down" in any setting, is bad news. Also any career women or future career women. She's shit, and you're letting your feelings blind you to this reality.
lol @ ur life kiddo
dump her ass before she dumps yours
someone told me that if you have multiple partners and get a loose roast beef vagina then childbirth is easier but if your vagina is too tight then you will have to have a C-section
so its a lose lose situation for women
>tfw got a qt virgin gf 4 years younger than me
Never date a roastie guys.
break up. only despair awaits you if you stay
>says a part of her doesn't want to commit so she can "be free and not be tied down."
My condolences. That just means she wants to be free from YOU.
Sure, you may love her, but she doesn't "love" you the way the you love her.
Top tip #1 for when you get real fuckin depressed. Go fuck 10 other girls. Only then will you even have a chance to move on from her.
Marry her already,
Dont need to have multiple partners to have a loose vagina, husband just needs to fuck her more.
Women crave intimacy, I think that's pretty much a fact. They also have hormones and lust like men do.
However, most women are confronted with barrages of other women who are prettier, have cooler lives, photoshopped thighs and curated instragram feeds. Women compete with other women over high status males and they are made to feel that they are defective.
On top of that, a LOT of the media women consume has the underlying message that a lot of men aren't worth it, that there's a shortage of decent males
>all the good ones are taken or gay
I've heard that at least 100 times in my life
By creating a scarcity of decent males, women enter into fierce competition. They're willing to sleep with the guys that are worth it to keep them.
On top of that, women are fed by magazines ridiculous standards of what a man should be, even restricting further what is an "acceptable" male.
The other side of the coin is males, being fed a steady diet of porn and scantily clad women, told shit like "they are visual people" and that they can't keep it in their pants or stop themselves from wanting sex.
Second, society makes undesirable males. When you drop out of school, get fat, smoke weed and start playing vidya, this does make you repulsive to many women, and you're effectively doing what the jew wants you to do. Result: the female's fear of "not enough good men" happens to be true and male end up thinking they need to have sex or die.
So on one hand you have women desperate to made feel worthy by getting the chad, men increasingly dropping out, leaving less quality men for the women, women being fed increasingly high standards.
This explains de 80/20.
But then, through the unbridling of sexual desire, the pill, and the whole idea that "you should drive the car before you buy it", desireable women will end up being fucked by many guys, maybe 20, maybe 5 before she figures out it makes her feel hollow and unfulfilled.
>Is it actually NOT harmful to have multiple sexual partners
Does that answer your question?
Rise in std.
Leave or be a cuck. She told.you in clear words that she wants an open relationship.
She uses you for money and shelter.
You’re missing the fact that women have smoke blown up their asses for their whole lives. Hence why even a 5/10 woman without maby redeeming qualities will believe she is good enough for the 10/10 Chad engineer to marry, rather than realistically expecting the 5/10 male store clerk.
This is a huge problem. If women had more realistic expectations they wouldn’t chase those men in the first place. All casual sex that is in pursuit of the Chad (as opposed to casual sex for pure hedonism) would dissipate. Because they’d know that’s never going to happen with Chadgineer