story time of how i got a gf?
>be me 20 yr old kissless virgin, 6/10 because i have a weak chin and had bad acne. only redeeming thing is i dress well
>junior in college
>college life sucks, have few friends and one of my close friends killed himself my freshmen yr
>seriously depressed and consider suicide daily
>sit around smoking weed masturbating and playing vidya when im not in class
>useless major and have little to no idea what i want to do with my life
>even contemplate going to syria to fight isis so i could at least die hopefully doing some good as im a piece of shit and want to redeem myself
>find out i have to take a language class for my useless major
>find loophole that lets me take 101 level even though i have 7 yrs of that language already
>when the class started i started smoking spliffs
>usually dont smoke weed before class because it makes me weird and paranoid
>nic helps me stay calm and the weed makes me sociable than usual
>first day notice 8/10 blonde, skinny and short but has a nice ass and pretty damn cute
>spliffs make me a little too social and i become class clown but prof usually finds it funny and lets me say things because i help the people around me with work since they all suck
>every morning i get coffee from the student center place high as fuck
>one morning at the stufent center i got there early and was drinking coffee and browsing internet
>8/10 blonde walks by and i barely notice, too busy shit posting about anime
>eventually she comes back with a breakfast sandwhich and sits near me
>then asks if she can join me
>being the fucking weirdo i am who is terrible with girls i said yes mind racing to all the possibilities that could come from this
>also still high af since i smoked like 15 minutes before
>ive seen this in the romance manga this is how it starts
should I continue
Story time of how i got a gf?
consider me intrigued, do continue hombrero
do it
show me (a 19 y o virgin) the way
Moral of the story: Smoke weed, you losers.
Wtf man where is the follow up
Cmon man don't let us down
I am waiting. Go on, retard.
Yes you autist she likes you. Keep asking her to hang out and get high if you have to be social. Grils like funny guys.
I guess it's just a filthy LARP after all. Have fun with your mental disorders austist.
since im incredibly bored at work i will continue my life tale for you friendos
>ff a few weeks and at this point were getting breakfast before that class so a couple times a week or so
>just talking or whatever dont even have her number snapchat because im too autistic
>in class someone asks me for my snap and a couple other people also want it, she eagerly asks for it
>someone asked me wtf was my story for that day,
>being an edgyfag i took a video of a crow eating a dead squirrel
>people are weirded out but not deterred
>well call 8/10 blonde carrie from now on, now have her snap but also have another girl
>solid 5/10 brunette probably alcoholic as shes drunk in class or off other stuff at 8am for class. well call her abby
>should mention that i have tinder too and get little to no matches and no one ever responds. important later
> continue to get breakfast with carrie but rarely talk to her in class or out of it
>semester is almost over and we decide to hang out outside of class
>ask her if she wants to come over to my house and smoke and drink
>she agreed but wants to invite friend...
>friend is a solid 1/10 literally disgusting and land whale. limps around for some reason.
>they come over and get drunk we smoke a blunt or something and its her first time smoking
>shes fucked up at this point and decides to get personal
>tells me her dad molested her or something
>yikes
>eventually she gets too fucked up but im pretty gone too so im like maybe i should send you two home in a taxi or some shit, its like negative 15 out even though its like a 15 minute walk. oh well
>decide to have friend drive them home but they have to walk ten minutes to get there
>walk them and head home to ponder where im headed with this and get higher
>ff a week carrie asks if i want to go shopping with her
>agree and i pick her up
>go to store and all she wants to try on are crop tops
>no bra
>wtf why is she teasing me like this
>now i have to know
continue?
>Should I continue
>No trip code
This is how I decipher which greentext threads I hide
Just fucking continue stop asking
>i become class clown but prof usually finds it funny and lets me say things because i help the people around me with work since they all suck
so you are an extraverted normalfag. who cares how you got a girlfriend
And don't be taking like 30 minutes to cont, it doesn't take that long to type this much up, and if you don't have time, why did you even start it???
Yes, continue please. I wish to learn the way of the normie.
alright ill just finish the story still not gonna trip cause i dont feel like it and its too late anyways
>decide to ask 5/10 for info as shes not an autist and is more social
>assumed we were already dating
>talk to her some shes alright
>little overweight with a noticable stomach that for some reason she likes to show
>lack of curves is amazing but has decent boobs but not really my thing
>break begins and i talk to both of them more
>suddenly carrie stops responding as much
>ask if anythings wrong and she doesnt want to talk to me about it
>talk to the other one more and more
>shes pretty much just a slut
>possible ez back up to lose virginity
>get back to class and start getting breakfast again even though i have no classes with her
>she starts inviting 1/10 friend
>decide maybe i should grow a pair and ask her out
>get super drunk one night and ask her out
>she wants to be friends
>luckily things arent too awkward between us after but im still super autistic and dont know what to do
>tells me about a guy she likes one day
>great time to make my exit because im scum
>still talk to her sometimes but still get breakfast every now and then
>she wants to go shopping again
>same shit as last time
>invites me to hang out and we sit together and she plays piano and sings to me
>wtf is this shit
>decide to ask one last time
>same shit as last time i asked
>im out of there
>other guy was ez 9/10 chad and im beta as fuck so theres no chance for me
>keep talking to abby and start hanging out
>she tells me about being a slut
>has sugar daddy and everything
>ez chance for me
>hang out all the time
>shes super clingy
>this is weird
>dont really want to go out with her and catch something
>sometimes she shows up drunk at my house at like 1am to smoke
>whatever im up playing LoL
>shed track me down and shit after class and follow me
>start to catch some feelings but dont want them
>Too late.
Do you live in Australia or something, user?
>old friend invites me to party
>been to like 3 by the time i was 20
>always kicked out for not bringing girls
>cant get kicked out because its his house
>its his roommates birthday or something
>bunch of his roommates friends from his hometown are there
>basically just sit around upstairs smoking weed or sit on a couch on my phone
>abby shows up and wont leave my side
>already super drunk
>decide to pay some guy to pants a guy who was sagging
>cost me $7
>guy wants to fight me but some thought it was hilarious
>rumor spread i was talking shit about his hometown
>wat
>girl wants to fight them all
>turns out giving away free beer wins people over
>escape shortly after
>abby comes over and wants to hang out
>decide maybe to test and see if i should ask her out
>she also wants to be friends
>this goes on as friends for a while
>fall into even more serious depression
>take like a week off from school and try to od on some pills
>didnt work
>when i eventually awake i find my phone with like 100 calls and a ton of texts
>shes pissed at me because im depressed and want to die
>college
>romantic triangle
>depressed
>failed suicide
>it all works out in the end and everyone lives happily ever after
maybe you should take it to tumblr
>eventually get to my normal depressed self
>still hang out with her when she comes over to bother me or follows me around
>usually just stay at home either high or drunk mostly both
>one night she comes over extra drunk
>im suprisingly mostly sober
>eventually she pushes me over and kisses me
>wtf
>she leaves in a hurry
>still texts me constantly too
>mostly just wants alcohol from me since my roommates are 21
> couple nights later same thing
>decide to mistakenly ask her out again
>she says the same shit as last time
>decide real life isnt working and start using tinder heavily again
>she still follows me around
>match with girl an hour away
>dont even know how since i wasnt set that far
>dont even message her for a few days
>pretty cute easily cuter than abby who is annoying me and using me for alcohol
>cant discern if shes like asian or latin or something
>drunkenly one night i message her then fall asleep
>she messages me back the next day
>i was a ta for a 100 level class and that day i was proctoring an exam
>catching people cheat is ez but dont say anything because i dont care and have a new girl to talk to
>start talking
>shes into the same stuff as me
>anime music vidya etc
>cool
>only downside is she has a bunch of tattoos and thats not really my thing
>she thinks im cute
>literally no one has ever told me that before her
>decide that i should probably ask her out after like a couple weeks of just talking
>eventually she gets time off and we agree to go on a date after like a month
>second date ive ever had
dude, you're terrible at greentext. most of the time I have no idea if it's carrie or abby
I dont even know who abby is at this point
carrie is 8/10 blonde who rejected him for chad
abby is 5/10 fattie who uses him for alcohol
Thats what I understand
still retarded greentext, if it ends with him fucking the tinder girl, then reading this is waste of time
I know, but there's no way to tell if he means carrie or abby in a given situation most of the time
yeah
shitty greentext about failed normalfag talking to thots
Jimminy crickets, you are horrible at this!
Bro, i hope i end like you im also 6/10 but super autistic but wear nice clothes ( sometimes even jordans ) im going to new school that is full of girls wish me luck. Btw in league im plat 2.