Boyfriend cheated on me - should I cheat on him back? Avenge myself?

Using what again?

Abusing adderall and other stims. Told me we couldn't be together if I was like that and I agreed. Slipped up a couple times but he 'forgave' me, little did I know he was cheating every time I went back to drugs.

I get it and we're beyond that now, but I still feel disgusted by him and crushed mentally.

Trailer park roastie problems

Now, I'll offer something to try and help you reach a decision. While substance abuse and cheating are both related to self-control, from what I know of your situation, your substance abuse does not involve issues with loyalty unlike cheating. So do take that into account when deciding.

They both are somewhat related to integrity, keeping promises, and trustworthiness though, surely? And if I was loyal to him I wouldn't have broken his heart by using again.
Actually very high functioning. I use them to focus during studying for my degree.

That is fair, but I personally think it is more of a personal failure than a matter of allegiance. Substance abuse does not involve another person so you really can't betray your allegiance. Substance abuse isn't that directly related to relationships in general as compared to cheating.

"Cheating" only exists in the context of marriage. Literally who cares if your boyfriend had sex with another woman.

Glad to see another roastie cucked by Chad. Don't forget your sage, everyone

Cheating on purpose doesn't even make sense.
What, you're going to let a stranger use your hole? Wow, by being a human toilet you sure showed him!

I mean you can still betray trust if you promise to never do something again, like drugs, and then do them again. That is still a breach of trust, and it would be a worthy reason for some to end it. You are still affecting your partner, who you told you would quit. As points out though, I take cheating worse as not only is it a total breach of trust, it's actually turning to another person. That is fucking horrible. OP can do whatever he or she wants, but I'd dump their ass so fucking fast and cut all contact. Block their #, block them on social media, etc.

What other stims?

>And if I was loyal to him I wouldn't have broken his heart by using again.
Addiction is a problem that you and YOU ALONE have to deal with, and it comes and finds you, you don't have to go looking for it. If he uses cheating to get back at you for it, or to make himself feel better or to "get his" while you're "getting yours," he's a scumbag. I honestly can't see any reason why he would have cheated when you were obviously struggling and needed his support more than anything. I had a boyfriend like this too - actually, we're still together 3 years now. The difference is that when I was struggling with alcohol addiction and kept fucking myself over, instead of getting back at me, he just abandoned me. If he'd have done something hurtful to get back at me for my health problems, I wouldn't have taken him back. His abandonment was hard too, but it drove me to try harder to get my shit together.

Honestly, don't sell yourself short. Your health problems and addiction aren't really his problem. He wants to control you and sleeps with other women to get back at you when you don't do what he says. Should you quit using? Yes, absolutely, for your physical and mental health. Is his behavior excusable? No, I think he's a piece of shit.

His cheating literally shits on your relationship; it's the ultimate no-no. Your addiction is something he agreed to take on when he started dating you. If he'd said at the beginning, "Any time you slip up on your road to recovery, I'm going to get back at you by sleeping with other women," would you still have dated him? Probably not.

You can be emotionally invested and even completely love someone and still know they are not right or good for you. Be well, femanon.

Women don't really get "cucked" or get as pissed off with cheating as we do. You see men with multiple wives and it feels a lot more natural than a wife having multiple husbands which is fucking gross.

You summed it up better than I could in both quotes. You have my thanks!

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Don't degrade yourself

If you are a girl I would say don't cheat, you have him on a leash.. he took out a huge loan and you can make him pay slowly. If you cheat you get even right away.
With all that beeing said, you should still dump him desu.

Thanks user.

I understand what you're saying, it is bad and initially we agreed that we'd only be a couple IF I stopped using. In that sense he did warn me. But I was very concerned about possible cheating and he promised to break up with me, instead of cheat, if it ever hurt him. So in that sense he didn't really agree to take on my issues when he started dating me.

He says that the only way he could've stayed with me was to detach himself by keeping options open. I'm glad he's with me. Yeah, cheating sucks, but I guess so does depending on someone for happiness when all they do is keep snorting meth and letting you down.

That's how I justify it anyway because otherwise he used my moment of mental weakness to get off. And knowing that sucks balls.

I thought this, but he still brings up the benders I went on and the lies I told to cover up said stim binges. He says we both did things wrong and that I shouldn't bring up his past or hold him against it if we want to rebuild.

Why does it matter?

>Why does it matter?
What are they?

>So in that sense he didn't really agree to take on my issues when he started dating me.
Dating someone is agreeing to take on their issues. Either he thinks you as a person are a net gain despite your problems, or he doesn't. You don't get to write a contract about, well I'll only be your boyfriend IF xyz... He sounds like a fairweather friend at best (ie only cares to be around when there's no adversity, disappears at the first sign of problem)
>depending on someone for happiness when all they do is
He should not be depending on you for his happiness. At all, ever, and no one in a relationship ever should depend on their partner for happiness. Either he makes it for himself, or he has none - that's it. The more you talk about your relationship the more it sounds dysfunctional at a very basic level. He doesn't respect you, and might love you, but his type of love isn't doing you any favors.
>he used my moment of mental weakness to get off
I'm sorry to say that this is exactly what happened. He saw you getting to do something he didn't want you to do, and so he wanted to go do something you didn't want him to do, in order to get back at you and to later use that instance for control and intimidation.

If you accept him despite this, he's going to keep doing it. You are not at fault here - you did something predictable, and he did something vile, and not only was his transgression worse objectively, but he also did it specifically to hurt you.
>knowing that sucks balls.
Hopefully it will convince you to seek a partner who actually cares about you as a human person, and not just a thing they think they own.

>He says we both did things wrong and that I shouldn't bring up his past or hold him against it if we want to rebuild.
I'm Do you want to rebuild with someone who is vindictive and tries to "get even" with you when you're struggling and need love and support? You shouldn't. He's using classic emotional abuser techniques to try to get you to accept his behavior while still scorning you.
>well my behavior is acceptable because you did XYZ so we're even
>well we both did things wrong so I'm not at fault
>you made me do it because you started it
No. It's not acceptable.

May as tell her to keep doing meth.
Jesus christ, this babying and relieving their guilt and telling them exactly what they want to hear is so fucking stupid.
This is going nowhere.

I literally told her that she should stop using AND stop dating that guy. Neither the stims nor the douchebag are helping her in life
What's your groundbreaking solution, you great fucking twat?
>relieving their guilt
Yes, I don't think she should feel guilty for not having a perfect recovery. She's obviously trying to quit, but slip-ups happen. You've clearly never dealt with addiction in yourself or a loved one, or you'd have half a coherent thought about it. Faggot.

>He says we both did things wrong and that I shouldn't bring up his past or hold him against it if we want to rebuild.

Sorry it took so long to get back at you.
Yeah.. definitely cheat on him them, unless you think you can find a way to get back at him slowly. I would say the latter is the best option by far, but only if you think you can go trough with it.

Yeah, I get your points. He does say he's there for me, and it's true - we spend a lot of our time together and I don't feel unloved. I guess if my head were straight I should have seen that he was just excusing himself for cheating - at first I told him I was leaving but he said "you're leaving me when I was honest with you and told you how you made me feel".

I don't know why I'm so fucking dumb and messed up in the head to blame myself desu. He says he's given me so many chances and that no one else would put up with it.

Sometimes I just feel like being miserable is my default setting. But he's embarrassed me and is probably laughing at my expense, now I feel like I should stick it out because if I leave I'll feel just as miserable and used.

Why why why.

no just leave retard being a bigger slut isn't going to help

just stop being a hoe and you wont attract shit guys and the more you hoe the more you dig yourself in the hole

How did he cheat on you?

yes. debase yourself in hopes of hurting someone who doesn't care about you.

Just leave. He obviously doesn't want you, so why should you want him?
I know you won't listen, but whatever.

No some people have the ability and self respect to get out of fucked relationships.

Just leave him. Also fuck off to Jow Forums.

>Chad has already moved on, totally forgotten about OP's blown out roast beef sandwhich
>meanwhile the f*mnoid has deluded herself into thinking she was in a monogamous relationship with Chad
>and now the circle is complete: she comes to r9k to cry about it

Your grief sustains me. Never forget what a terrible person you are, and all the terrible decisions you've made that have led you to this conclusion.

My best advice, personally, is tits or gtfo normina

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But why would he have wasted years together, spend every day together, if he doesn't care about me?
How do you think, smart ass.

He's not a Chad, in fact he's a fucking /b/tard of all people

Women on this board never think they're being used by Chad, which is how I know they're being used by Chad.

yes. then block him