Just went on my first date in 13 years, lads. It was a god damn spaghetti fest. I'm literally shaking

probably yeah, but i'd rather be sure.
it doesn't sound like you have anything to lose. but maybe wait until tomorrow to text her.

just send back an ok and dont bother with her again.

greentext it, let us sadlads have some fun

>decide to not be a sad shut-in and download bumbl
>find a girl that looks exactly like my type
>smart
>cute
>loves animals
>has same hobbies as me
>its a match
>spend a week messaging back and forth
>everything seems to be going well

>decide to meet up for coffee today
>meet her and get our drinks
>some awkwardness, but good conversation
>i drop a few bits of spaghetti, but still seems to be going well.
>she starts to go a bit quiet
>somewhat awkward goodbye with a hug

I text afterward saying "I know I probably came off as a nervous goofball, but I really enjoyed meeting with you today"

She responded "not at all it was great meeting you!"

Then I said "perhaps do it again sometime? No worries if not, but I'd be interested in doing it again now that weve got the nerves of the first date out of the way"

She responded "lets keep in touch and play things by ear!"

see now it doesn't seem as bad as i initially thought. sounds like she just hasn't made her mind up about you.
if she didn't want to see you again she most likely would have said so. just follow her advice.
play it by ear and keep it cool. maybe give it a few couple of days

also maybe take my advice with a grain of salt.

>it doesn't seem as bad as i initially though

In what way?

>no worries if not
Might want to avoid that kind of language in the future

Whys that? Just didnt want to seem like I was pressuring her into anything.

bumping for advice here

before i thought she was being dismissive, but don't you think she's honest enough to tell you if you're too sperg for her.
again, just wait like 2 days and hear what's up

not that guy but it's just because it sounds like you kind of expect her to say no, it shows some indecisiveness and lack of confidence (which as much of a meme it is does make a difference).

obviously you can't pressure her into anything, just ask the question and let it be.

OK, I'll give that a shot. I don't want to seem to needy, but at the same time I don't want to just leave her hanging if she was actually serious about perhaps doing it again.

but anyway play it by ear sounds like a death knell, so i would mentally prepare myself for the letdown.

don't take it too hard, move on and try again. if you got one date you'll get another no worries.

How would you interpret her answer?

yeah, waiting a few days like that other user said will strike a good balance between exactly what you said

> I don't want to seem to needy, but at the same time I don't want to just leave her hanging
can't help you there, but i'm pretty sure that's how everyone feels.

Women decide within a few minutes whether they will fuck you. If it's a yes they'll overlook all sorts of shit. You have to fuck up pretty bad if they're interested. In this case she wasn't interested. "Play it by ear" = nice way to let him down.

It's twelve milliseconds by the way.

>Women decide within a few minutes whether they will fuck you.

Not always true. I've had relationships with women that have have taken time to build. If you are in it for a relationship rather than a fuck, it takes work and time.

i bet she's going to laugh at you with all her friends

Was she laughing?

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>just text her (at an appropriate time) and tell her how you felt, that you were nervous etc, but you'd like to try again, if she does.
Don't do this don't listen to this idiot.
>To me it sounds like her trying to let me off easy. Is that how you'd take it?
Your instincts are 100% on the fucking ball listen to them. This bitch is gone, write it off, onto the next.

plz dont say this

>Don't do this don't listen to this idiot.

Why not? What does it hurt?

Ask her next week if she wants to hang out on the weekend.
If she says she's busy and doesn't come up with another date do not respond to her and just forget about her

>Why not? What does it hurt?

Talking to a roastie in this day and age is not like talking to a man. For most guys, upwards 90% of them, you can reason with them. You can articulate the impetus behind your actions and they in return with reciprocate reason with reason. Dealing with a woman is like dealing with an animal. You have to bare your fangs, raise your hackles, and get her to accept you as the apex predator. If you turn your back on her, show her weakness, you are inviting her to hurt you.

The law is on a woman's side. The courts are on her side. She can grief away without consequence. So why wouldn't she? Well because she, dumb thot that she is, is also laboring under her own delusions. She believes girl talk applies to all interactions as well. She's hoping OP will take a hint with her "uhm lets play it by ear sweetie kk ;)" response. She's giving him an out, one that avoids conflict. A woman will try to shy away from conflict first unless she stands to make some insurmountable gains from it, like taking the house in an alimony settlement, for example.

If OP keeps pressing her, however, she will become resentful. A woman does not rationalize words like a man. Like a spoiled child, or (top kek the irony) a delusional robot, what she *FEELS* to be true *MUST* be true, in her mind. And it's unfortunate that the law, the courts and society side with her on this, as I mentioned before. So the result is she will, at best, keep ignoring him until she blocks his messages and number completely one day, or worst, block him, and then actively try to ruin him in the social network of their community.

I was thinking of texting her in a couple days. Just asking her what she's been up to.

Then leading in with how I've had a great few days, had a good meal with an old friend, read a good book, been going on daily bike rides, and how I've been resolving things positively with my ex. Show her I'm on an upward trajectory and thinking positively.

Then I see how that goes. Maybe then text her again on friday with something along the lines of "Hey, I don't want to be too forward, but I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. You seem like a very down-to-earth, intelligent person and I'd really like to get to know more about you. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink this weekend?"

How does that sound?

SOUND MORE CONFIDENT YOU FUCKING FAGGOT WOMEN LIKE CONFIDENCE! YOU'RE TYPING LIKE A PUSSY

How does that sound like a pussy?

>Hey, I don't want to be too forward

the overall tone of your message is as if you're already assuming that she's going to say no. and whatever you do DONT MENTION YOUR EX TO HER WHAT THE FUCK

I mean, she already know about my ex. I was in a 13 year relationship previously. I just mentioned how I'm moving forward from it positively and that weve seperated amicably.

Mentioning your ex is fine, but you should remove the "too forward" part. It's okay to be respectful and confident at the same time.

Instead of
>"Hey, I don't want to be too forward, but I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. You seem like a very down-to-earth, intelligent person and I'd really like to get to know more about you. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink this weekend?"
Send her
>"Hey,I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. You seem like a very down-to-earth, intelligent person and I'd really like to get to know more about you. Would you be interested in overthrowing the government this weekend?"

You fucked up, not not amazingly, just an average fucking up. She is not interested and probably will never be, but she doesnt hate you either. Its the kind of issue that get solved with enough practice. Keep dating even if it hurts your soul, if you pay enough attention, you will become more and more detached and less prone to fuck ups.

So overall, you are probably cringing inside, but keep it up. Not everyone has the hang of it at the beggining.

PD: Do NOT insist with that girl. Its over. Move on.

It sounds defeatist, and that's off-putting to a woman, or at least, it lessens whatever romantic interest she might have in you. Confidence is paramount, no one likes a sniveling coward who has to cushion every interaction
At a certain point you have to be sure of yourself and assertive in your language. It would be pressuring her if she said no but then you needled her until she said yes, but just asking a yes/no question doesn't qualify as pressure imo

You always need to be brief in texts. Chicks are the ones who endlessly share. They key is to use the 80/20 principle until you lock her down (sex, girlfriend mode, etc)- you let her talk 80% of the time, you talk (text) 20%. Ask her a question, let it float. If she diarrheas out a response she is interested and ready for more qs. - Brett Hunter