>want a girlfriend so bad
>need confidence to get one
>central reason I lack confidence is the fact I've never had a girlfriend
>so in order to get a girlfriend I have to stop caring about getting a girlfriend
What kind of retardation is this shit? Who made this so? Why is the universe so gay?
Other urls found in this thread:
Confidence is just self aware competence
/tv/ posters are usually redditfag tourists
Wt does this mean
Confidence comes from within.
Fundamentally incorrect. Confidence cannot exist in a vacuum.
Fuck this retarded shit. FUCK THIS RETARDED SBUT
A gf is not what you need. What you need is to deal with your own insecurities, start taking care of yourself and work on developing a skill so you don't keep loathing yourself, and stop trying to avoid your real issues by focusing on some unrealistic ideal woman. Then you'll stop reeking of desperation and become more approachable. Nobody can save you but you, brobot. Finding a bitch will naturally flow from getting your bad self-esteem under control. That way you don't push away a girl you could actually make happy by spazzing out. You have worth even if nobody has gotten romantic with you yet. No matter how handsome you are nobody's going to be able to deal with your current mental issues.
Do you think real confident men gain it from other people's approval? Fuck no. They have found their inner strength and don't care about what others think.
Agreed. That and "just be confident", like it's something you can choose.
it's actually a joke
the punchline is that you will never get a gf
It took me 5 years to find my confidence. Yes it's something you can choose, but you have to work real fucking hard for it.
Elliot had a BMW, rich parents in the film industry, and was at a party school with some of the loosest women in America on top of being extremely handsome. He died a virgin. Why was that do you think that is? Nobody could deal with the insecurities that were warping his mind and personality.
>Do you think real confident men gain it from other people's approval
Yes. Those that say otherwise lack self awareness.
That and he was fucking ugly.
If he were handsome it would have been fine, women are all over handsome criminals.
I don't loathe myself I just want a fucking girlfriend.
>needing a girl to have confidence.
oh they really got you by the balls dont they user.
Not caring about other's opinions is literally the definition of confidence. Do you think chad strides around worried about other's opinions? No. Because he knows his own worth and if people disagree they can fuck themselves
Look at that symmetry, those high cheekbones, that strong jawline, those exotic eyes, decent hairline, blowjob lips. He's not Brad Pitt, obviously. But he's not "fucking ugly".
Forgot the picture like a chump.
He doesn't have to, he's Chad. His confidence is born out of his natural competency for attracting women.
>Not caring about other's opinions is literally the definition of confidence. Do you think chad strides around worried about other's opinions? No
The way that you achieve that state (other than complete psychopathy) is by securely possessing the good opinion of so many people that the good opinion of any one particular person starts to be meaningless.
Chad doesn't care about any one person's opinion because if that one person decides Chad is an asshole, he knows he can fall back on the 5000 girls who want to suck his dick.
He looked like a fucking tranny.
He also looks a lot worse in videos and in pictures not taken by him.
You don't need confidence
You need to not come across as desperate
What does desperation look like and how do I avoid it?
Act like everyone is your mother, it will really help you get a conversation going.
To avoid looking desperate just talk really generally, avoid really deep topics like religion and politics. And don't get attached to people from the getgo.
lmao is this a chad official XD
This is the vaguest most nonsensical horseshit I've ever read on this board. I can't fathom what was going through your head when you typed this. What is wrong with you.
Please be under 18 or autistic, I beg you.
Alright ask me a specific question. I think the meaning got lost in translation but if you need help from a specific question you'll see.
I agree with that. That's good advice.
In my experience, bad self-esteem comes from being insecure about what unwritten rules exist in life.
For example:
When I went to a club for the first time, I was really excited. I had no idea what was going on, but I eventually met a few people who I kept contact with.
Now, two years later, I've cut all ties to them, and learned a bunch of general rules:
1. Men really like having women in their life who they can do intimate stuff with
2. Women want one special guy because they get hurt pretty bad whenever someone is intimate with them but then doesn't like them as a partner
3. Watching a lot of porn gets one in the mindset of women loving sex when in reality they're really skittish about it
4. Women who act all sexual towards you as soon as they meet are masking something abyssal. They are terribly insecure about how they look because their parents are extremely negative, they've been sexually abused as a young teenager, their current boyfriend regularly beats them, they got raped by a bouncer and are trying to regain sexual control in their life, they're a control freak who's scared to be emotionally dependent on someone else, etc. These are all actual women I've gotten to know in those two years.
5. Most people in clubs are superficial assholes (probably because they go to clubs so much)
Anyways, when I go to a club once in a blue moon myself nowadays, I don't feel bad about getting drinks with women there and trying to talk to them in order to find out if I can drunkenly fumble around with them. The reason I can easily do that now is because I'm sure of the rules and I trust my judgement - i.e. I have good self esteem regarding my choices with unstable women in clubs.
It's like that with everything else in life - if you have a set of unwritten rules in the back of your head about it, you'll feel you're in control. That's self esteem.
Spot on, you really hit the nail on that one
...cont'd:
Women do love sex of course and will tell you they do if you ask, but what I mean by women being skittish about sex is that they really have to trust you and like you and nobody should know that you are having sex before you're an official couple and they don't want to blow you because "ew that's gross" and they need to ease into being intimate with you over the course of several dates and maybe then they're ready to take their pants off for the first time etc. etc., meanwhile guys just like sex regardless of conditions as long as the girl is sexy to them
That's another rule I learned that applies to life more generally and not just clubs: Women and Men really are different in more ways than smalltalk can reveal
This is interesting. I'm often put off asking girls out because I don't see any "signs." (I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable) Like the conversation is going really well but there's nothing sexual about it - she's not touching me or giving me the eye or anything like that.
Have I been memed by PUA? Do girls not make it super clear or are my suspicions right and nobody has ever fancied me?
Good posts
I have this same problem too.
Are you retarded? Do you have brain damage?...Women don't give a fuck about dating a guy they go on tinder and fuck any guy they want at any given time..If you are average or below then you have to go on a bunch of dates and be a fucking clown to MAYBE get in her pants..Don't try to tell anons here women are some sweet princess wanting to be charmed
Wanna know the secret? Just have fun with it.
And i dont mean in an asshole way: have you ever played a game that you enjoy, where you have a little bit of adrenaline, and like to play?
Same here really, just feel the adrenaline, and try to keep your brain on, and have fun talking with them.
The first times it wont work ,so keep trying, till you can talk with them witout being/sounding retarded.
Trust me, it gets fun.
I bet you also believe that there is a thing called friendzone and if you don't instantly fuck someone on the first date - you lose.
Nice one dude, you nailed.
> I don't see any "signs."
There are no signs if you feel like it you can ask her out and if she responds negatively just say "ok", but DON'T disappear and DON'T ask her again for a week or so.
At some point she will either agree either ask you out herself. That's how it works usually.
Please tell us about the last time you had sex.
Holy fuckin shit..You're either a stupid lying whore to fool more beta white knights or you are literally a beta male
Uh, no.
Posting a video of some faggot does not make it right.
I ended up dating a girl which i was friends with. We just kept going out and at some point it turned into a relationship. Took half a year of texting and all that shit or so.
>Central reason i lack confidence is the fact I've never had a girlfriend
Wrong, kid.
Ask yourself, do i like my smile? do i like my hair? do i like my face? do i like my body? would i get nervous if somebody asked me, in front of people, what kind of life i live? do i like how i look when i go out the door?
You lack confidence because you are not comfortable with who you are as a whole, something about you keeps you nervous when you stare at someones eyes. Find it and fix it/accept it.
Friendzone is real
you're a betamale cuck if you stay in it though
First step is to stop playing some retarded mind games with yourself
That is legit what being in a friend zone is and she probably fucked some other guys before your candy ass
This is why u treat them like objects because they are and fuck and leave we are no longer in an age of courting and romance welcome to 2018
Real confidant men recognize most people lack the wisdom to recognize each other's value, ensure they have the value they portray, and tell people who don't understand it to fuck off. You only need approval from people who know what they're talking about, and most people dont in general
>There are nl signs
>Ask her again in a week
>At some point she will agree
You definitely are conflating confidence with people pleasing, two concepts that can be employed with mutual exclusion, or one without the other completely.
>do i like my smile?
No my teeth are crooked after my braces had to be taken out early. Also yellow from bad brushing as a child.
>do i like my hair?
I love my hair but I'm starting to bald.
>do i like my face?
I wish I didn't have a weak chin
>do i like my body?
Not too bothered
>would i get nervous if somebody asked me, in front of people, what kind of life i live?
No.
>do i like how i look when i go out the door?
Generally yeah.
Wait, are you saying I should keep asking intermiddedly and it'll happen?
Cos that be retarded.
You've got a mighty red pill there user. You know, you dont have to take any pills. You can develop your own theories about how things work without adopting some interweb retard's version of reality
It's in the voice. I remember back when I was in college and would go shopping for clothes -- the female clerks would rush up to me and their eyes would get big and once I spoke their who expression just deflated like a balloon.
t. formerly tall and handsome, now wizard
I understand. Based on my experiences, PUA is one gigantic meme on both sides (insecure bitchy girls vs insecure bitter guys). I leave these people to themselves, they're nuts.
Example: Recently matched with someone on a dating app. I only knew she lived 50 miles away and had one really cute picture. No profile text. So I happily write "hey, we kinda live a little far apart but anyways how are you doing, your second picture is really cute", and her response just is "that's far to you?! nice negging. your pictures are weird". I mean, that girl has such low self-esteem she'll go ahead and interpret a compliment like "you have a cute second picture" to mean "your other pictures are shit, I want you to feel bad". That's how crazy people get when they hang out in these circles.
Anyways, you wrote you don't want to make anyone uncomfortable? That sounds good. But why are you doing that? Is she not an adult who can interrupt you and say "hey, I don't like talking about that, that's making me uncomfortable"? She can. You gotta think about yourself. You're whats most important in your life, and you're the only thing you truly have control over.
So. Do you feel fulfilled when this girl talks to you? Then you're good. Do you feel an indeterminate longing to be alone with her, start kneading her titties, pulling her hair, and you're actively having to push that feeling down in order to maintain a conversation? Then you want to do that, and it's your responsibility as the little frontal lobe thingy up there in your body's skill to make your body take the appropriate actions to act in accordance with that feeling in order to keep feeling good about yourself. Pretending to have different emotions from the actual ones you're having when talking to a girl causes you a lot of internal harm that she won't even notice. If I've learned one thing it's to be honest about my feelings but package it courteously. That goes a long way.
Women are not objects. That's a frustrated and hateful thing to say
If you're gonna be aggressive like that, I suggest seeing a psychotherapist, If your self esteem is so low that those PUA instructions sound kind of alright to you you must feel very hurt and confused by now, and you can be better than that
Getting a girlfriend doesn't even fix shit. I have gone through 4 different relationships with girls and fucked a bunch of randoms on tinder. Well guess what I'm just as awkward and autistic as I was when I was a virgin who spent 10 hours a day on here . Isn't that some shit? I thought things would change I don't know what I was expecting but not this. The only diffrence now is I've had my heart destroyed and shredded multiple times and if anything I have even more issues then before .
The difference between you and me is ur a retard and im not