R9k sucks tonight

>be me about 8 years ago
>15, close to 16 years old back then
>10th grade
>everything is stressful
>no friends
>family doesn't support me
>scream at me, beat me, take away my belongings
>always have nightmares when i go to sleep, but feel that they're still better than being concious
>another nightmare.
>(I had this dream 6 years ago and i still remember most of it)
>dream goes as following
>be on side of the street, street goes in a long, straight lane with a lot of houses on both sides
>felt something bad, almost as if i was cold
>didn't know where i was, but it was deep at night with noone else on the street or sidewalk
>someone approaches me out of nowhere and tells me that if i don't find shelter within the next coming moments i'll be gone forever
>get scared because i value my life a lot
>there was *something* *somewhere* and i believe i had to inform the residents of it or they'd die
>ring doorbell of house im closes to
>explain the situation
>person understand (note, the lights in the house were on) and just stands next to the window frame looking at me
>doesn't do anything to help me so i ask if they can
>just looks me at
>get heebie jeebies
>try next house
>as soon as i ring doorbell the lights in the other one go out and i can hear a massacre-tier scream
>never check what actually happens to these people, probably because i was too scared to find out
>explain situation to next resident, same shit happens
>after about 2 houses it changes, the residents actually feel like people
>they reply normally and are worrysome of what's outside, still unwilling to let me into their homes due to them being scared that once they open the door, it's all over.
>i don't understand
>try to demonstrate to the residents, as they seemed to be unaware of people dying as soon as i rang doorbells what actually happens, i tried to do this by using different methods of convincing them to hide in the house and what not, nothing worked.
>cont

sounds interesting.
keep going orginally of course.

cont from dream story
>reach "end" of the street
>switch sidewalks
>same shit goes on for what seems to be hours
>not a single second passed during this dream where i didn't feel cold due to being outside or insanely fucking scared
>skip a bunch of houses
>ring the bell of the one that already has the lights on
>didn't see it before
>girl approaches me
>don't really remember her appearance, but i remember that she was nice, kind and warm
>try to explain the situation
>she looks shocked and instantly lets me in
>she actually feels like an insanely kind human
>the "nightmare phase" of the dream is over
>feel weird
>forget about it within seconds
>feel the happiest i have been in my entire life, while i am sleeping
>talk to this girl and enjoy it so much
>talk about vidya
>talk about other things we both like
>enjoy it so much that i just want to cuddle her for hours
>eventually, we hug
>i just start crying in the dream
>mom wakes me up
>wake up with actual tears in my eyes
>all the happiness fades
>start crying due to sadness of never being able to see her again or talk with her
>depressed since

A couple stories of pure autism from yours truly
>be me in 3rd grade
>every morning before class kids can go on the field and play for a bit or whatever
>see the girl I have a crush on
> she's walking with her friend
>jog up to her and stand in front of them, walking backwards
>not sure what to say
autism.exe
>"hey (girls name) have a good day, anyway gotta blast"
>mfw I actually said her name incorrectly
>mfw I ran away like Naruto

>be me in high school
>sophomore year
>I'm painfully unfunny and cringey at this point, literally that kid who doesn't shut the fuck up
>believe if I say enough jokes one of them will eventually be funny
>sitting next to friend in English
>notice his phone is sideways in his pocket, making his shorts poke out sideways a bit
(((Joke))).mp4
>"hey your phone makes it look like you have a side boner haha"
>say it really fast and in a weird voice for some reason
>mfw my teacher was standing behind me when I said that
>mfw he asks if he heard that correctly
Fucking kill me. I don't deserve to exist

Attached: a8e.png (404x399, 11K)

i know it sounds far fetched and i missed out on a ton of details that made the moment memorable for me UNTIL THIS VERY day but if i could have went into a coma back then and never wake up i would.

Strange how dreams work,
Even after all the scientific advancements made.
We do not fully understand the function of dreams.

Oh fuck that is cringey.
Really fucked.

That dream you had could be a very brutal movie, dude. Your mind is an enigma.

>be 6 or 7
>talking to neighbourhood friend outside neighbours house
>suddenly, a rumbling in my stomach
>it is quite clear to me that I need to shit
>I ignore it
>ff 10 minutes
>rumbling continues
>decide that it's time to go to the toilet
>too late now
>the moment I move, a turd emerges from my asshole
>runs down my trousers and falls in my neighbours driveway
>run home
>mom saw the whole thing happen
>doesn't speak to me until the next morning
>when I wake up the shit is gone
>never talk to neighbours for a year

Attached: 1533064990603.png (789x750, 18K)

How I came upon the conclusion that Fate exists and it has determined roles for all of us.
>be 15
>be hikikomori of year (homeschooled)
>watch some anime about friendship and happiness or something
>decide to go outside
>don't really know where to go or what to do so I head to the park
>hide whenever a car passes by
>still think that maybe this isn't too bad
>see rain clouds some miles away
>continue going to park
>notice clouds are getting closer
>really fucking fast for rain clouds
>see the clouds are really low to the ground and have an orange hue to them
>not rain clouds, a huge sandstorm
>try running back home, horribly out of shape and collapse after about 100 yards
>sandstorm that was miles away quickly closes the distance and wngulfs me
>curl up in a ball and cry until it passes
>out of all days, out of all hours, I had to pick that specific one to go outside
One year later, around the same season
>same deal
>want to go outside
>go to park
>rain clouds again
>this time actual rain clouds
>make my way back home when it starts starts sprinkling
>within the minute the sky starts pouring and everything turns white from all the water falling
>try hiding in the jungle gym
>curl up into a ball in the slide because that was the only part with a roof
>still get soaked anyway
>slide too slippery and slide out into the mud
>first rain of the monsoon season and there wasn't any rain again for a week
>once again, of all the times I could chose to go outside, I chose the one where the weather fucked me over
Then finally
>still believe I can make friends if I just try
>somehow make a friend
>he's really cool and supportive
>within the month his parents get divorced and he moves away to kansas
>tfw no phone or anything
>give up on going outside or making friends and make my peace with being a shut in
Been that way ever since.

>be me
>7th grade
>had crush on qt
>we knew each other but never talked
>went through primary school together and still never talked
>one day in class just staring at her like a creepy pedo
>day dreaming about a future with us
>notice her friends give me a cringe look
>she starts blushing
She was a shy girl
>"why the fuck are you staring at her like that user"
>whole class hears/sees this
>"I-i'm trying to think of the answer to this maths equation"
>wasn't even math class
>i wanted to die

Attached: image-335.jpg (1242x2208, 176K)

that is a beautiful dream user. do you fear that you will hurt people if you grow close to them? have you found someone willing to let you in yet?

here is a story

>last year
>take girl i'm seeing on road trip to the california coast
>lots of driving and we don't really communicate well but we try our best to make it enjoyable
>visit many interesting and beautiful places
>a tiny remote town on the coast with beaches that are entirely black
>ancient and enormous forests
>charming beach towns with ramshackle houses
>just being in such places makes us feel better
>spend time with my father who lives in the area
>we don't see each other often but i think he understands me best
>he gets us access to a private and secluded beach, the remains of an old town
>we get there and it is like something from a dream
>lush foliage everywhere due to a river outlet
>the river opens on a wide beach sheltered on both sides by cliffs topped with pine and fir and cedar and cypress
>animals everywhere
>all that remains of the town is a skeletal railway trestle extending over a lagoon and through the ocean to a huge flat rock (used to be a port)
>we set up camp and take some acid
>go wander the beach and eventually just sit watching the waves for hours, amazed by their violent beauty
>wander back and make some food and i have a very unusual feeling of primal contentment as i tend the fire while my woman prepares dinner
>we eventually fall asleep and drive home the next day
>eventually grow distant and stop seeing each other because of poor communication
good times never last, but their memories lessen the bite of the bad times

>the thot herd at my school has this tradition where they pick out the nerdiest and weird guy in the year and fuck him behind the gym
>mfw I didn't get picked
Is this a good or bad sign lads?

Attached: 1523839181967.jpg (229x343, 21K)

Ok robots. Here is the story of how my friend went full nigger and nearly shot me.
Be me. 18.
Have black female friend. 16.
Driving through town one night.
Decide to visit friend's apartment.
Bigmistake.gif
Go into apartment.
"Oh shit its user."
Shoot the shit.
Mention mutual best friend's bday is coming up.
"NIGGA YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!"
Waitwhat.jpeg
She goes into other room.
Try to leave but her brother stops me.
"Where you think you goin nigga?"
She comes back out with a pistol.
Thisishowidie.wav
Her brother pushes me to the ground and she kicks me and stomps on my spine.
She gets on top of me and chokes me til i turn the niggest shade of purple.
She gets up to go get something else.
Get up.
Go to door.
Bro nig slams my fingers in door.
Ouch.mp3
Punch nigger in the face.
Nig stabs me in leg with fork.
REEEEE.MP3
Kick nig in nuts.
Run for my car.
Niggers chase me.
Gunshots.mp3
I get to my car and speed off.
Inspect car at home.
Front tire. Fucked.
Passenger window. Fucked.
Right headlight. Fucked.
Dont press charges because she has connections with gangs.

Attached: 83Hb6.jpg (891x960, 48K)

That's a shitty story, damn that sucks.
That is a rather compelling argument for fate if I ever heard one.
Something similar liked that happen to me.
Yeah she never talked to you again or you drifted apart soon after I guess yeah?

Fuck i forgot to greentext.

Like getting second or third place in a mediocrity contest.
A special kind of bad.
Not a good kind.

That is quite a nig tale.
Like seriously over forgetting a birthday,
bunch of savage animals.

Being out in nature with a girl is a nice feeling.
Sex or no sex. Good times can be had with females.

~t.failed normie/cyborg to almost all standards.

>be 9
>be lonely kid at new school
>maybe 50 kids total in the whole school
>the cool guy in the class is talking about his birthday party
>ask him "would I be able to come too?"
>he says yes
>super excited because I'd never really had friends
>talking about it all week
>dad takes me shopping to get him some presents, get him a really good baseball glove since basically all the boys were forced on the baseball team including me
>get food, drinks, mum makes some muffins
>I call him and ask if I could come over now
>"user? is that you? I was joking, you're not invited, that's why I didn't give you an invitation card"
>hear the other kids in the background
>"hahaha is that user, oh my goddd"
>one of them grabs the phone and puts his mouth right up to the receiver so his voice is ultra loud and distorted, talking like a robot for some reason
>"you are not our friend, I repeat, leave us alone"
>hangs up abruptly
>heart sinks
>tears welling up
>dad asks "so you ready to head off now, buddy?"
>"yep!"
>get him to drop me off around the corner from the kids house
>spend literally 5 hours hiding in a bush trying to make up fun stories to tell mum and dad
>walk all the way home since no access to a phone
>get lost a lot because it's a new place
>I'm literally crying because it's dark now and I'm tired and lost
>find home
>sit outside for awhile until my eyes dried, bury the glove in the garden
>walk in and pretend I had the time of my life

That was quite robot of you.
I had something similar happen to me.
I make up lies like that too.
Even in my 30's I exaggerate boring times with boring people to make it seem like I had fun when I really didn't.

Funny enough in year 12 final year of high school i was kinda autism free, not a normie but just that guy who was there. We talked for a bit but I had a gf at the time. Then school finished and haven't heard from her or seen her since.

college was like that for me.
just a guy who was there.

Now im a unifag just drifting along and going with the flow. Girls or no girls. I'm still somewhat happy.

>one of my classmates insults some thot
>literally gets denied contact with all females for 1/2 a year

Attached: If_only.png (397x374, 169K)

its no fun being the sperg as an adult.
way too much pressure.

What the fuck man, can you get the police to investigate her without any correlation to what happened? So maybe they find something else to lock her up for like illegal owning of a weapon

Thats why i choose to have little to no friends. Only those I trust greatly. I cut contact with a lot of people after I finished school.

>be me
>modern day 13 y/o
>go to school
>don't get shot
>nice

That sucks user, you should have kept the glove for yourself.

>13
Mods ban this underage kid

>being this new
originally, of course

Not new, just haven't been here in a while. Didn't know things had changed.

We need more greentext threads OP. I was going to post a story from school, but I think this strayan internet story is more interesting to burgers.
>use standard ADSL connection for years, works fine
>2 year internet plan runs out
>we keep using it as before, pay same price and still get good service for about 5 or 6 months after
>suddenly the connection speed gets throttled so fucking hard for no reason
>1 mb downloads take almost a minute, ping constantly over 300 in games
>I smell bullshit
>get invitation to switch to NBN (australia's shitty new fibre optic connection) a few weeks later
>I fucking knew it
>actually get better deal this time with more data and better price, promised insane speeds of 50-100mbps over NBN
>take their offer, but they need to install some extra stuff first
>have to install some stupid fucking box just to get the connection at all
>box MUST be on outside wall of house, connects through the wall to another clunky box and a router indoors
>this means I can only have this box and router in only two spots throughout the whole house, both of which are shit
>some pajeet comes and drills through the solid brick wall to install this box
>shakes the entire house and is loud as fuck
>wants to poo in loo when he's done, not even joking or trying to be funny
>test out the connection later that day
>get shit wireless connection because PC is on other side of the house and I can't move it
>have to buy a long as fuck ethernet cable just to connect my computer with a wired connection
>this fucking cable goes across my entire living room, later have to drill holes under the house to reroute it
>check the speeds
>triggered.exe
>turns out that you have to pay extra to the (((isp))) if you want better speeds
>mfw the ADSL I just switched from gave me speeds of 9-10 mbps, but now I get a whopping 12 instead
it is a fucking joke, I would have been better off sticking with the original ADSL2+ connection, it was good and had no bullshit

Attached: 300% mad.jpg (500x738, 39K)

>be me
>19 y/o khv
>go to an English school to study how to write research papers and essays.
>qt Brazilian chick in class
>sets next to me second day
>we manage to become friends
>she's qt but has a lil bit of masculinity in her personality
>she invites me and another classmate to her friends bdp
>we get shitfaced
>classmate starts kissing her friend
>her friend stops and takes me to the balcony
>tells me to do her a favor and kiss her friend (Brazilian chick in my class), since it was only the four of us
>waitwhat.jpeg
>thought I was the mayor of the friendzone
>never was ready for a situation like this, and the autism kicks in
>gets nervous
>don't know what to say and tell her that she's just a friend.
>shit gets awkward
>she apparently liked me and I was stupid and naive
>she ignores me and shit gets awkward
>I cuck my classmate for wanting to leave home early, and he ends up leaving to.
>another day in class and shit still awkward
>she sends me a txt msg late at night that says, "You're not a real man".

...cont'ed

ouch.
braziallns have lots of traps.

>feel like a beta faggot
>contemplating whether I should ask her out or not, since she had a lil bit of masculinity in her personality
>realize that it's my chance to lose my virginity so fuck it.
>go to her after class and invites her to my "party"
>tell my roommates about the fake party
>they agree
>spend $500 on alcohol and stupid shit
>invite a lot of people that I don't actually know
>she comes in with her friend
>we got shitfaced like never before
>tells me she likes me
>tell her I do too.
>she was ranting about how she has a big forehead and how insecure she's about it
>I tell her, "there's something, I wanted to do for a while"
>try to kiss forehead to make her feel better
>she thought I was going for the lips
>holycringe.jpg
>I kiss her forehead and her lips go for my neck
> a lil bit awkward but we pass through it
>get more shitfaced
>we finally start making out
>"wow user, you're a great kisser"
>I tell her that I'm actually a virgin
>she gets shocked

.....cont'ed

I wonder if this story has a happy ending or not.
organally

>she tells me how they usually start fucking when they turn 14 in Brazil
>"user, how come you're still a virgin? what where you doing?"
>say idk, shit happens
>she tells me that I need to go out and meet other girls
>she leaves
BITCH I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS
>never texts me again
>completely ignores me in class
>holydepressed.jpeg
>sit in my room remember how soft her lips were, and how I was SO CLOSE to lose my virginity
>graduation happens two weeks of awkwardness in class
>3 years later
>live alone
>no friends
>never talked to a girl again
>still a virgin
>more autistic and depressed

shit went really down anons, I think it's the karma for cuckin that fucking classmate

>Live in Vegas.
>Grew up around gambling.
>As a child learned what games to play and what to avoid.
>When I became of legal age I took up gambling like a second job.
>Oh sure I lost here and there.
>but, would often win.
>had pseudo gf who lives in Aussieland.
>fed up with american cunts.
>Want a nice aussie vagina.
>problem is she has an off again on again bf.
>well he abuses her.
>Save up money.
>Win really big.
>Notice plane tickets are on sale.
>Get plane tickets for like $1000
>take a bit of money.
>Gamble it,
>Make the single largest bet of my life at a black jack table.
>Got an Ace of hearts and a Jack of Diamonds.
>Her intials are AJ
>It's a sign!
>Buy her some nice jewelry.
>Fancy bracelet and Ruby earrings.
>Damn Quantas is a nice air line.
>Damn Aussieland is beautiful.
>Good god damn she was hawt.
>Of course I wasn't quite alpha enough.
>Though for all my efforts I did get some succ and fucc
>Leave NSW for Southwestern Burgerland.
>Get e-mail saying she's going back to her ex for the 16th time.
>Ghost her.

Fuck me that was soul shattering.
Mentioned this story to american version of abbo friend. tells me I shoulda raped her.
People tell me I shoulda stole the shit back.
Oh well.

>be me
>be earlier tonight
>be pleasant summer night
>be full(ish) moon
>be quiet as absolute fuck out
>think I'll take a nice middle of the night walk around my super peaceful neighborhood
>take some shItty phone pics of moon
>all is well. Felling good, peaceful and actually "happy"
>start feeling sleepy
>this will be nice. Walk back home and crawl into bed.
>walk home feeling better than have in a long time
>go around to back door
>locked
>SON OF A BITCH (ironically me)
>mom fucking locked me out
>she's a spiteful bitch like that
>spend next hour trying ro get in
>brother finally answers phone
>3:30 am
>opens door
>mom is there, has apparently been ignoring me to get back in the last hour
>she asks if I have been out prowling
>seriously WTF
>she claims she had to lock the door to keep the dog from barking
>how the fuck does locking the door keep the dog from barking at the raccoons wandering the yard?
>mom ruined a good night just like she's ruined my entire life
>too pissed to sleep now
>this is my life
>true story
>pic related

Attached: 20180827_030022.jpg (5312x2988, 1.97M)

nite walks are so comfy
shame about the mom being a bitch part.

Was extra comfy tonight. Not a single car drive past. Hell, didn't even hear the usual traffic on the main road a few blocks away. Was quite literally dead silent other than the breeze and crickets
>a fucking shame indeed

Attached: 20180826_033104.jpg (5312x2988, 1.52M)

Whats this off? Ibanez tube screamer?

>be me
>500 year old mage
>feeding my pet dragon some goblins
>one of them scratches my pure silk robe
>my little Betsy is scared, she knows what is going to happen
>use level 6 transmutation magic to transform is tongue into a live snake
>snake bites his mouth from the inside
>use fire magic on his eyes
>he tries to put the fire out
>transform his hands into paper, burning him even more
>his eyes have melted and now he is blind
>trasnform his stomach into iron
>he falls to the ground in pain
>push him with my emerald staff towards good ol' Betsy
>she steps on his legs, and then on his crotch
>his stomach his pushed out of his body through his mouth
>retrieve the iron stomach and drop it on his chest
>pick it up again, turn around, and leave
>Betsy eats him slowly to make him pay
>go to town
>sell the iron stomach
>use the money to repair my robe
>no one suspects a thing

Could you respond?

Robots, would you date a Hispanic fembot?
strawpoll.com/rxfc1r43

Fembots, would you date a Hispanic robot?
strawpoll.com/wagwhh6w

173646

>crouch down
>face is now inches away from their asses in the tight blue dresses they were wearing
>could feel their disgusted looks piercing my neck a second after i crouched
just fucking say 'excuse me' so they get time to move before you shove your face near their asses
fucking hell, man; the embarrassment is all on you, bro