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>be me, 10
>"ew no. you're too fat"
>join sports, work out hours a day even on weekends
>be me, 13
>"you don't really have anything that makes you stand out and you're kinda gross and pathetic"
>start dressing better, grooming, get rid of zits, get into a fight with a football player and throw him over a desk, bullying stops
>be me, 15
>"sorry but you just aren't part of any really important groups"
>get on the varsity team and the debate team, work my ass off and become really important in both of these groups
>be me, 16
>"You just don't have, y'know, like a car or anything"
>get a shitty old Porsche, spend assloads on parts, paint, learning how to work on it, and all my extra time goes into making this thing functional and beautiful
>be me, 17
>"Well, I dunnow. What education are you going for?"
>spend all my time studying for SATs, get into a great university, literally fry my fucking life away passing classes to graduate on time
>be me, 19
>"You aren't really doing anything important, huh?"
>join student government, get elected to a nice position and deal with these morons wasting funds on shit nobody cares about
>be me, 20
>"Like, we don't go to the same parties or anything. OMG do you even smoke weed!?"
>make some real friends, learn how to "have fun," which essentially means pretending to be a happy, drunk retard and dancing at parties, 420blzitfgt
>be me, 22
>"What do you wanna do with your life when you graduate? Everybody's doing something really cool and important with their lives."
>drop drugs, talk to some family contacts, secure myself a potential place as a military officer, begin to train my ass off every day, graduate
Nothing Matters
>be me, 23
>meet the second or third girl I'd ever liked at this event for old varsity team members
>she's still as beautiful as she had been when she passed me up to be with the retard who pretended to be my friend back in high school
>she actually hits on me first, agrees to go on a date
>even calls it a date
>absolutely shocked, finally have a chance to shine
>now I'm not a virgin, but this is literally the first real date I've ever been on
>take her on my motorcycle, she's a little nervous at first
>ends up going surprisingly well, go to a couple bars
>at one point, she even apologizes for how she treated me when we were kids, says she was totally wrong about me and that I'm the coolest guy ever
>last spot is a the top of this parking garage, theatrically beautiful place to end the night
>finally get to explain a bit about how hard it's been for me, we kiss, holy shit it's happening for me
>bring her home at 1AM, she starts crying
>tells me that she doesn't know, and that I'm so much better than her
>stop.jpg
>tells me that I deserve someone better, how she just isn't good enough and how she was just so bad to me and wishes that she could have dated me instead back then
>start telling her how I don't care about that, or about anything in the past or what she thought of me
>tell her that I love her right now, and that I always have
>kisses me one last time before I can finish
>tells me to live a wonderful life
>won't answer my texts
I'm completely finished with the idea of self improvement or the idea that working hard and being the best that I can be will make me happy. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no point to the suffering. It doesn't matter how much we care or how hard we try, God has decided that we're doomed and there is no happiness. Happiness is fucking dead to those who search for it and there is nothing that we can do to truly find it.
Hitting me in the feels user. My situation started the same as yours, ended up giving up and became a recluse after school ended. At least you have a life outside of roasties, mine never started.
The system is rigged. Don't you get it user? Your only hope is to push for the world to burn.
What the fuck is that? Soudns like she enjoys fucking your shit up over and over again
At least I'm not a complete loser, I've got a good thing going for me now, so I'm going to forget about it all and look to the future. I don't know what's coming next, but at least I've gotten that off my chest.
I never really had a life. I just pretended to. I did drugs to bury the horrible feelings of loneliness. I wasted all my time and emotions on things that would never happen for me.
In my deep dreams, I see myself as some kind of carnival ringmaster putting on the largest, most spectacular show in the world. Y'know, The Greatest Showman kind of aesthetic. And for a while, I'm happy in the splendor of it all, the lights, the music, orchestrating this massive, spectacular thing, crowds cheering and that one girl standing in the crowd beneath me in awe. When the explosive parade has finally ended and the fireworks finally end, I just have my arms out breathing heavily. I look around and nobody's there, nobody but her, standing before me. She's further than arm's length, but she's never close enough. She just stands there in an awkward sort of awe. She purses her lips, and balls her fists, and I start to get nervous, and she turns around and walks away. Then it's just me again. All alone, in a big, dark space.
It's always the same dream, every time. Ever since this happened. I just don't know what to do anymore.
You confronted the past at least, something most of us never did.
I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. I feel like it's all been one big, bullshit crawl through miles of broken glass just to end up in the middle of the desert.
None of this matters, user. It's all bullshit but from the sounds of it you actually did your best and ended up in a better situation than most of us. It may not matter but I'm happy for you
Sounds like a dumpster fire.
Move on faggot
Thank you, user. I just don't think I'm gonna be able to keep doing my best, I feel like I'll just half-ass everything for the rest of my life.
It is and I am.
Those sex doll robots are looking so good these days.
You're a military officer correct? Pull yourself up by your britches as a military man and find the girl! You can't give up that easily!
There is no 'special' girl. They're all the same. All women are subverted and unscrupulous. Believing a woman could actually care about you is a fantasy. Women want status and money.
>There is no 'special' girl
Yeah, I know. I'm just astonished by how close to the lifelong goal I was.
Im ugly: the post
i dropped out of highschool and is one of the most love people in my small town AND i have a Porsche with an LS in it
I can't even rag on you because I feel pain from this one. Just stop doing all of this:
>finally get to explain a bit about how hard it's been for me, we kiss, holy shit it's happening for me
>tell her that I love her right now, and that I always have
>texting her after she bodied the fuck out of you
If you really like a girl, you need to not put so much pressure on them. You might not feel like it, but they can sense it. You put her ass on a pedestal and she couldn't take it. Don't get heavy. Don't express feelings. Keep it light. Remember: they're along for the ride.
Looks like you didn't try hard enough to create a decent bait thread (: