I was cleaning up your room user, do you have a cold or somthing?

>I was cleaning up your room user, do you have a cold or somthing?

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>tfw mom actually asked me this
I still don't know if she genuinely does not know or if she is merely pretending.

>jerk off for years
>move out
>when moving out parents move bed
>there's a collection of tissues, carpet is stained orange

I just about wanted to die. They needed a steam cleaner.

she knows
and you dont know that everyone can smell the cum

Who the fuck gets a "cold"? I've gotten fevers, but never a cold.

>asks me what those yellow streaks on the floor and wall are

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>not using a dedicated cum shirt

Nothing special, the cold is just the most widespread disease on earth.

>not just fapping at the toilet and cumming directly into the bowl

This. My brothers room is full of tissues, from him ''blowing his nose''. I have to keep his door shut or else the horrible smell leaks out to other rooms.

It's the opposite for me. There's a shitton of used tissues in my rrom because I have just about every allergy you could think of and suffer from hayfever pretty much all year. I never jerk off into tissues though but I am afraid my mum might think I do.

While on the topic
How do you get rid of nut stains on wall without getting rid of the paint ??
I recently painted my walls to hide orange cum droplets on wall
I accidentally came on the wall again and didnt notice it until like a month later so theres a fossilized baby batter slappped next to my bed

No thanks, I'd rather not be one of those "my semen is so worthless it belongs as waste in the toilet bowl uwu" humiliation guys

>he doesn't have a jizz jar
he doesn't keep a cum container<
>he doesn't maintain and regulate an ejaculate egg
he doesn't hide a sperm sock under his computer moniter<
>he doesn't fill up a couple of baby batter balloons

unironically just bust onto a towel

>Overactive sinus. It's always draining at night.

how the fuck do people manage this? just fap into a tissue its called risk management

>If it's the tissues, it's because I've just masturbated and haven't gotten rid of them yet

Opposite side of the house, can't lie down and use imagination and relax to enjoy waifu love. That standing up jerking off over the toilet thing only really works when you're browsing shallow and easy porn on your phone.

I have a dedicated huge nut towel that I lay onto my bed
Its super effective and i never get cum on anything
I usually fap daily but this time I holded it all in for like 3 days
So it exploded and flew across my entire bed and hit my wall without me noticing
Accidents happen user

Kek. How did they react? Did they know what it was?

Why don't you just cum onto toilet paper and flush it down the toilet? Who the fuck saves cum tissues in a bin?

During the whole summer I stored my cum in an old shirt, how do I wash it now without them knowing ?!?!?

That's way too much cum build-up, just throw it out now. You can only get away with washing your cum rag if it has like a week's-worth of loads in it, two tops

you get rid of the shirt you autistic fuck. burn it near your neighbors lawn if you want to be epic

just slip it in the bottom of the wash basket lad, trust me i've done it before

>mom is cleaning my room in middle school
>I just got a girlfriend so we've been fucking like rabbits for the past month
>she finds a trashcan full of used condoms
>tells my dad
>he's supposed to "discipline" me
>he literally highfives me and says that he's happy I'm being safe, but says that I need to throw the condoms away or my room will smell like cum

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I think I'll do that, or just wait until they're out and wash it with my own hands with some soap

sorted bruv, glad to help. on that note i'm gonna bash one out on my spunk rag, all the best.

Why not just cum in the toilet?

no mom I just cry a lot

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Thanks for your help, god speed