Because I'm so depressed and suicidal. I ordered 3g of supposedly very decent stuff over the darknet, should be arriving this week. There's also a local place that dispenses syringes and citric acid, so I have means to inject. When ordering it, I was thinking about how I intended to deliberately overdose to kill myself. There is no joy in life, I'm an anxious wreck, a total social outcast and weirdo, and I feel such self-loathing.
If anyone is reading this post from the future (say a couple of years), I am probably dead as I eventually found the courage to kill myself. I was driven mad by philosophical thoughts and drugs
Do you think you can improve your life at this point?
Ayden Parker
Possibly, one last shot at university next month (got suspended last year for being too suicidal and shit). I'm gonna try but I'm going down a dark path and want to use heroin to numb the pain, because stuff isn't getting better and I can't make it get better
Julian Kelly
i think it will be 404 in some years and nobody will bother to save it nothing awaits you user you will be forgotten
Benjamin Gray
well, don't just intentionally overdose on your first session. why don't you enjoy the heroin for a bit? If you're planning on killing yourself you might as well enjoy a few proper heroin highs. you're gonna die anyway, what's the rush? stop and smell the roses. you might as well hitch hike across the country for say a year and just live life as a heroin addict for a while. then to the end when the horse finally doesn't hit you anymore, THEN and only then you should you finally intentionally overdose. I mean a heroin high is one of those mind blowingly pleasurable things very few people actually get to experience. might as well ride that train for all it's worth.
that's the way I'd look at things.
Camden Jenkins
Honestly you might as well just OD on your first go. H wont make it better, if anything you're just fucking your life up even more. If you do commit, cheers m8. See you on the other side.
James Taylor
dude, heroin is going to fucking grind you into dust. my friend was an addict at 16 took him many trips to the hospital, much heartbreak, and genuine suffering before he went clean. extremely addicting.
Tyler Lopez
It's gonna fuck you up even worse don't do it I know first hand. There is always a way to do better but please don't do that shit it's not the right thing to help you.
Brayden Martinez
Don't do it Instead order some speed paste, dry it and take it ORALLY Then you will have the motivation to actually improve your life
Connor Sullivan
Heroin could save your life user, you'll get addicted and learn that the only reason to keep living is to do more heroin. You'll either die or get clean and find a new appreciation for life. T. Sober former heroin addict
Xavier Diaz
Well you will enjoy it, trust me OP. Only problem is you'll never feel as good as that first time again, but you'll keep chasing it until you're selling your ass down in the alleys of the big city for a few bucks to buy some H with.
Jaxson Cooper
i can echo this sentiment, I was super depressed for a long time and heroin motivated me to get a job, I only did it about a dozen times then I just forced myself to stop. I still have the job I got initially.
Caleb Smith
Well speaking from experience, good heroin like the really top shelf #4 doesn't make you dopesick afterwards and like 20mg snorted will ruin you with no tolerance. I think some people are mroe prone to addiction than others with opiates I could do heroin all weekend and then just stop for months if I wanted to but uppers would make me feind like anything nearly got hooked on meth managed to put a stop to it before it got out of control.
Heroin make you just not care about anything, full stop you could be having the worst day of your life take a hit of dope and it wouldn't bother you at all you're just lulled into this half awake half asleep state where nothing matters and everything's gonna be ok. Hope you make it out of this OP probably isn't the healthiest way to deal with your problems but if you're in the select group that doesn't get hooked it might do some good.
Best wishes cowboy.
Jonathan Phillips
Go to community college, start slow work part time. If you are actually considering heroin you are not ready to take on university again, but you can get there. Don't fuck yourself by going back to university this soon.
Grayson Wood
>Dude drugs lmao You're not thinking straight Read a book
Brayden Perry
When I was addicted to meth I tried injecting a few times and I could never hit a vein. I think injecting is one of those things that's harder than it looks if you don't have someone to teach you. I mean like 'hands-on' teaching, not youtube; I watched youtube videos with nurses explaining how to inject and I still didn't get it. Whenever I tried to stick the needle in it just went under the skin, it didn't actually penetrate the vein itself.
Blake Cox
dont do that you should get to know a guy by the name 'artie lange' google him
Ryan Garcia
rather kill myself with dignity and purpose than die addicted to drugs and be remembered as a pathetic junkie
Matthew Morales
>gonna start making my life worse because my life sucks Good call!
Isaac Cruz
This is a pretty good decision
Heroin is good, I'd do it too if I saw no hope
Hunter Wilson
>rather deny myself the greatest pleasure known to mankind for some pathetic elusive concept like "dignity" lol
Ian Hill
Ok OP here, the heroin came today and I'm about to try it for the first time ever. Will be smoking. 20mg. I know they say that the first time is the best so I'm going to really savour it
Adam Allen
Holy fuck, I tried the heroin and I feel so fucking good. It's like a warm hug all over my body. I feel so very calm. I love this. I love this so much
Andrew Brooks
when did this place become normie central? >just try to fit in >just improve yourself >just be a miserable wageslave like us
Juan Bell
I've thrown up twice so far, I don't like that side of it. Will that go away once I become more accustomed to it and do it more? I feel really sleepy. I was gonna smoke a bit more but I think I'd throw up again, which sucks because the high feels really good and cozy
Nicholas Moore
Thrown up a third time but gonna try snorting another 20mg
Daniel Miller
Woah tell me more, OP. You got the drugs from the darknet? How do you know it isn't going to paralyse you or something?
Also what's the place that disperses syringes? Why didn't you just buy that off the darknet?
Xavier Lopez
I don't have a testing kit but I went with a vendor with thousands of transactions and a high averge review score (over 4.9/5). The local place is one of those 'harm reduction' organisations that aims to prevent stuff like AIDS from sharing needles. So I can get sterile ones from them for free
Isaac Price
i have an opportunity to get it local, supposedly good. still dont trust it. its 50USD a bag. i guess that is a gram. how much is a testing kit? are they even legal to buy and possess? itll be my first time trying heroin and i dont want to be shitted out of my money or a good buzz.
Aiden Johnson
Take adderall instead. Heroin is just gonna make things worse. Like a lot worse. At least on adderall you'll be motivated to do shit
Cooper Powell
Consider this: >sell heroin >big money >girls love drug dealers >don't get caught and your life is fixed-ish
Tyler Anderson
You're gonna wanna tie off on your arm and find a protruding vein on your hand or arm. Punch the needle under the skin at an almost horizontal angle slowly. Once it's under the skin pull back the plunger and just poke in until you see blood. It's actually really easy.
