I feel like I am hiding myself away more and more, It is perpetually dark in my bedroom and all I ever see all day is my PC screen. I also pinpointed that changes in my environment give me depersonalization . I was changing the way my room looked and freaked out some weeks ago and when I was outside this week the same thing happened. >how do we fix being hikki Exposure therapy, seems like it would work but last time I went out on my own caused me to become even more scared of the outside.
Normally I go out for a walk every week at about 3am, my room doesn't have Windows so the fresh air is nice. I missed my chance 2 nights ago but I really needed the fresh air so I took a stroll around at 6am, I forgot the sun was so bright. It was really nice, I hope I'll do it again but I'll probably be too nervous. Also I've been learning to fix stuff around the house, maybe I could get a job with this kinda stuff somehow
Every day I wake up and go to work, forcing my way through social interactions and work tasks I've become somewhat accomplished at. But inside I still feel the same as my days of being a social isolated shutin.
I remember the first time I read the NHK novel I found it really strange that Sato kept trying to stick the hikkikomori label to himself even as he left the house more and even after he got a job. But I think I get it now
So to answer your question I don't know how to fix it. Maybe it'll fix itself one day. Maybe it'll just linger there forever. I don't think the Tatsuhiko Takimoto knew the answer to that either.
Thomas Flores
I broke out of the hiki life and got a job. I got horribly bullied by the team at work and I nearly ended up committing suicide. Now I know there's nothing wrong with being a NEET. I miss being one. Now I'm stuck studying some bullshit degree I hate!
Luke Sanchez
>my room doesn't have Windows so the fresh air is nice. you ever get scared you will run out of air in your room? I worry about this. >Normally I go out for a walk every week at about 3am That must be nice, do you get any mental effects from being outside? I sadly cannot do that as I am in a really bad area and un-ironically would get beaten up or worse.
Only a month ago a guy was killed at a bus stop about 5 minuets walking distance from me. a week or two later 2 guys literally jumped on some guys head on the street in a robbery in the same area near me. I would go out and carry a Knife like I used to before being hikki but I am too paranoid about police checking me randomly so I dont go for walks for any reason. >Also I've been learning to fix stuff around the house, maybe I could get a job with this kinda stuff somehow anything is good bro
how long you been hikki for?
Xavier James
so you used to be a hikki? or are you not one?
if you go outside for anything but food to survive or mandatory meetings for NEETbux and medical stuff, you are not a hikki.
I will chat to you though about feels you have ect. >I broke out of the hiki life and got a job. I got horribly bullied by the team at work and I nearly ended up committing suicide. dude fucking sucks man, fuck that and them. >Now I know there's nothing wrong with being a NEET. I miss being one no way you can go back? are you mentally unstable ect? maybe you can be NEET man, life lived working and not having fun isnt worth living
Gavin Collins
Yeah the air paranoia gets to me too, that's why I started. It's really nice to be outside. It feels so easy to walk about, it makes me think how easy it would be to just be normal again. But then eventually the sun comes up and the people come out and I just get paralyzed inside. My area isn't great either, only a couple blocks down a kid got shot in a robbery, I've been broken into a couple of times before too. I carry a knife and very rarely run into others so I guess I've been lucky so far. I had a job for 3 months last December, but like said i didn't feel like I was ever really done, so either 8 months or 3 years depending how you want to look at it.
>it makes me think how easy it would be to just be normal again. I do this, I think about how it would be nice to be normal and then I am reminded how much of a loser I am and im ugly and just actual garbage. > I've been broken into a couple of times before too. This is the reason I am hikki, people broke in while I was asleep in afternoon and fucked my shit up. > but like said i didn't feel like I was ever really done
can you explain this? what do you mean man? once you start working or going outside you are recovering Hikki, you can return but once you start going out you are no longer hikki.
I get really anal about people misusing the term, sorry
Sebastian Brooks
you're still a hikki even if you go out
Carter Evans
Well I dunno, I realize that I'm not a hikki if I'm going out and working, but it doesn't really feel like a change. once I clocked out I would just go back home and withdrawal into my room, any time the thought of going out came up I would still be wracked with anxiety, the feelings that I don't belong out there with others since I'm just not right. So I guess when I say that, I mean even though I wasn't a hikki, the part of me that made me shut myself in for those years is still there. Like wearing a mask doesn't change your face I suppose.
Gonna have to ask money from my mother so I can pay my rent, sincr neetbux didnt arrive thanks to complications. Shes probably gonna ask some questions I dont want to answer. Might hero
>you're still a hikki even if you go out you can go out and be a hikki if >you are collecting food for survival and only way you can get it is by going out. >you have mandatory meeting to keep getting NEETbux ect >doctor visits that relate to government welfare
You do not go to work as a hikki outside the house because you CANNOT actually function outside as a hikki, at most you rarely go with ur mum outside. on your own?? nah man.
>any time the thought of going out came up I would still be wracked with anxiety, the feelings that I don't belong out there with others since I'm just not right. I get what you mean man, I feel like if I ever became non hikki I would be the same. > the part of me that made me shut myself in for those years is still there. so you are recovered hikikomori? good job man, what was the longest you stayed inside without going out?
>Gonna have to ask money from my mother so I can pay my rent, hey man, be strong you can do it dont an hero because of this bro. you could maybe email her instead of do it over phone? >sincr neetbux didnt arrive thanks to complications. fuck what happened bro? the govt can fuck you around with NEETbux, for example. I got a note from doctor to be exempt from work for a month (im in process of getting disability) and I email my NEETbux people and they say I have they say I have to go into the welfare place somehow! but I am Hikki so cant so I have to get my mum to. >Shes probably gonna ask some questions I dont want to answer. can you elaborate my fellow NEET or hikki? as an user tell me man
I feel unable to work, but a part of me finds it very hard to accept the disabled label. There's something very uncomfortable about just sitting down and accepting being told something is wrong with your own noggin. My mum seems to swear that I am, because apparently normal people don't fall into this kind of life.
Lucas Thomas
NEET of over a year now. It's a good life. Spending my NEETbux on a cruise soon.
Noah Russell
>I feel unable to work, but a part of me finds it very hard to accept the disabled label. Stop and accept it, you can get treatment and try function while "disabled". >There's something very uncomfortable about just sitting down and accepting being told something is wrong with your own noggin This is true it takes time..its accepting you are broken..hurts the ego. what exactly is your mental health issues man? > My mum seems to swear that I am, because apparently normal people don't fall into this kind of life. Lucky, I am also lucky my mum knows im disabled from mental health. it took my mum literally nearly 5 years but she sees it now.
Are you on disability pension ect?? how often do you go outside
Jason Sanchez
>tfw had typed out a really long post on the phone but included a non-ASCII character so it all got deleted 4 years of living my life on repeat inside of these walls. I just want out of this shit but it seems the only ways to do it is either by becoming a wageslave and hating your life everyday or by commiting suicide.
Chase Walker
I don't actually have anything diagnosed in that area except NVLD and ADHD (which I don't think are considered disabling conditions), she just seems to think the way I live implies disability. I go to therapy, and they can't seem to put a label on my problems. This probably makes sense as part of why I won't accept it, as I don't want to insist on something I have no proof of. Another reason I'm reluctant is I'm afraid of limiting my potential by telling myself I can't do something, even if I feel "impaired" relative to other people. Pride definitely plays a part though, as you said about the ego.
With my mum it's kind of complicated because she gets the idea I'm not all there and she does help me out in terms of supporting me financially, and taking me to therapy. At the same time, if I'm not on the path she expects me to be on it will eventually blows up into an argument. Just yesterday we had one about me getting my GED and that maybe I'm "well enough" to do so. Kind of feels like I'm being ripped in two different directions, very confusing sometimes. I kind of wish I could be diagnosed with something that explains it all so people could finally understand me.
Caleb Jackson
>I'm afraid of limiting my potential by telling myself I can't do something This is good man, I have given up completely you havent yet... > I kind of wish I could be diagnosed with something that explains it all so people could finally understand me. try to do this man, get diagnosed and be honest man, (I am not honest to my pysch I dont tell them my real feels because im dumb) tell them whats up.... are you a hikki? you didnt say yes or no bro...
>>tfw had typed out a really long post on the phone but included a non-ASCII character so it all got deleted fucking sucks man, normally you can just go back on browser and foward again and it should be there. >4 years of living my life on repeat inside of these walls. same bro im nearly 5 years, nice to know other people like me exist. >I just want out of this shit but it seems the only ways to do it is either by becoming a wageslave and hating your life everyday or by commiting suicide. I dont think people like us could work without hating life. Suicide for me at least is what I decided I will do some day as I cant escape.
Even if we became non hikki we would still be fucked because all our otehr isses ect. You on NEETbux man?? I like chatting to hikkis man,I would join a forum but im cancer as a non user and always cause problems.
>You on NEETbux man?? No, that would require me to go to an employment center or whatever they're called and say I'm unemployed and actively search for jobs. I did that once to try to get out but it didn't quite work out. Got some girl that would help me with finding a job and she asked a bunch of questions like "what would you like to do" and stuff like that which I don't know the answer to. Ofcourse to not embarras myself I made something up about liking physical labor and 3 months later I got a call from a local business. I went there and it was all 45+ year old office dudes on the front desk and when they showed me the inner workshop where I'd work I saw a bunch of 20+ year olds standing up all day doing the same shitty task over and over, looked like modern day slavery to me. Later when they interviewed me I just told them I sucked at most things just to not get the job and it succeeded. After that I haven't tried and probably won't until I'm forced too.
I have no real desire for money, sure money can be good to have but I already have everything I want in that regard. The loneliness is getting to me more and more by every day. I just wish I had a cute gf to cuddle with and spend the rest of my life with, but that is just a dream that will never come true. I don't want to die lonely but it sure looks like I'm headed that way. God I wish things didn't have to be this way. Maybe one day we'll find happiness, hopefully.
I forgot the outside question, I'm sorry. I go outside once a month for therapy (the place I go to also has a library that I just got a card for last session, and will probably now visit after each appointment), and once every 1-3 months I go to my grandmothers. I do not consider myself a hikik due to these things, moreso a reclusive NEET.
I've had doctors question the NVLD diagnosis, so I might not even have that. But I think the diagnosis gives me a good lead in highlighting my long-lasting issues with academic and social functioning. I think my problems seems very "autism-like" in style, even if I'm not necessarily on the spectrum (NVLD is somewhat similar to mild autism). I've been thinking about getting re-tested for autism, because while a very experienced doctor told me "definitely not", I don't know if I was giving the whole picture. My mum was there and I feel like that left me prone to being agreeable to how she saw it. Plus highlighting my issues in front of her is hard because I tend to be guarded when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. Essentially I don't think I properly laid down all my problems on the table just because my guard was up. You're definitely right about the honestly bit, shit can be hard sometimes though.
Ryan Williams
>I'm getting sick from NEETs who always posting this hikki nigger. Well I am someone who never leaves the house and has psychological trauma when he does. so I post him for the Hikki part of this thread.
>No, that would require me to go to an employment center or whatever they're called and say I'm unemployed and actively search for jobs. I go to one for people with disability's and apply for jobs or I get a note that says I dont need to. dude I dont get hired and I dont even have to go outside for meetings anymore because hikki. > looked like modern day slavery to me. unironically is my man. > I do not consider myself a hikik due to these things You can go out for things like that and be hikki, as in vital medical stuff or food even if you have no way to get more. >guarded when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. I do this. I cant be open with a pysch and would like to be able to do it over the phone or online. I dont want to tell my pysch I am suicidal and think if it a alot as I am paranoid she will think im attention seeker or will lock me up.
Juan Scott
Hikki with a phone interview today, judging from the emails its a woman and I am terrified
Sebastian Price
>Where is my misaki? She doesn't exist in real life, user. I'm sorry :/
Angel Cooper
good luck man, whats it for bro? heres a tip.
Write down what you want to say and then you can use that to read off. used to do it as a wagecuck when I phoned in sick.
>She doesn't exist in real life, user. I'm sorry :/ I want a 2D girl to come to life and save me from my life...
Luis Ross
You gotta remember that Misaki didn't end up saving him, and only wanted to 'save' him because she felt lonely.
We need a proper anime about Hikki life. flash backs to the past ect can make it be interesting. Maybe the anime is >watching a guy become a hikki or a hikkis past life?
it needs to show how fucked it is being a real hikki.
Robert Carter
That's what NHK was. I would like another anime like it, though.
Nolan Bailey
NHK had too many plot lines IMO. it should have been more focused on his progression into being hikki.
A show taht shows people affected by the hikki would be good as well, maybe a parent that doesnt understand the condition ect..
NHK was not bad but could have been better
Josiah Moore
I think NHK struck a nice balance between the hikki life and making an actual entertaining show. If you made an anime that focused completely on hikki it'd end up being boring and all depressing. NHK was good because it made you feel all sorts of things.
At the end of the day, hikkis just aren't that interesting on their own. Their lives are nothing.
Elijah Martin
>If you made an anime that focused completely on hikki it'd end up being boring and all depressing. Yes true but you could use flashbacks to build a story, it could be done. >At the end of the day, hikkis just aren't that interesting on their own. Their lives are nothing. hitting me with the feelz user
Ayden Jones
>hitting me with the feelz user I was hesitant to write that, expecting incels to come in and have a go at me for insulting their lives, but it is true. All the really hikki parts in NHK consisted of Satou doing absolutely nothing except lie down in his room. I wouldn't want to watch 20 minutes of that even with flashbacks thrown in.
Ethan Lopez
The novel has a lot more moments that are true to the inner monologue of a reclusive neet. Still throws wacky plot points in there, but it might be more of what you're looking for.
