Death thread

Ive been having suicidal thoughts for over two years now, and soon I will finally end these thoughts. Ive tried working, school, NEET, and none of it has worked out for me. Im never happy and my hobbies/distractions are fading. I dont want to be trapped in the monotony of daily modern life, that seems like a worse fate than dying young. Ill say hi to shauiby for everyone

Ultimately the only way I know to resolve my problems. I don't like it, it seems like an absurd concept. But it seems like it almost justifies itself. If there was no death, I wouldn't yearn for it. I would make the most of every minute- or maybe not. I could at least choose at my own leisure. But because there is death, life is rendered pointless, fragile and perpetually flawed, and death seems to be the only solution to the problems that it itself creates.

Yeah, it sucks.
>be me
>die
>ohboyheaven.mp3
>darkness
>darkness
>deafening silence, alone, until the end of time
>never being able to move, never being able to live
And that's why people solicit prostitutes

Only the now matters. If you die, you die.

Practice mindful meditation

>I dont want to be trapped in the monotony of daily modern life

then dont?

Read these and prepare for maximum comfy:
nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html

Oh shit user I've been spending the past few months taking a few hours out of every day and reading those experiences. I really hope I'm not setting myself up for disappointment. Like half of those could literally be people lying or embellishing on memories.

Not a fan of all of the jesus stuff but the ones with ayys who are like "dude the universe is a playground do whatever you want, your life was totally meaningless" are so comfy

I'm completely with you. I also listen to videos on youtube that have similar stuff.
Have you ever tried to astral project? I don't necessarily believe it, but I would like to experience it to see for myself. Perhaps it's just a far out hallucination, but maybe it's a glimpse behind the scenes into how our universe is filled with potential and shit -- like how many people who astral travel say that they see rooms they recognize with furniture they used to have, furniture they have now, and furniture that they don't recognize (which could be potential future furniture).

death is inevitable so theres no point in worrying about.

everybody dies, but not everybody lives

Yeah I have. Personally I think it's just a really intricate dream that's possibly interwoven with whatever awareness your body might still have of the outside world while in a meditative state, but I'm not discounting other possibilities.

it's far out in that it feels far more real than a lucid dream or even than reality itself, so the distinction is somewhat valid. But that probably has more to do with it being a waking dream or a focused effort rather than the random kinds of dreams that you get while sleeping.

death is great!
don't you get tired of life? the only reason we exist is to compete against each other for mates and contribute to our tribe. everything else is a distraction. staying alive would be worse. you would be contributing to a world you could not be apart of, would not get any mates and only be able to enjoy distractions.
i'm not saying we should kill ourselves, life is life. there is certainly no problem dying 60+ years old.

They all talk about this light
I have heard its where you want to go, and also others have warned its a trap and you should avoid going to the light when you die.

Spooky

>just a really intricate dream
Even dreams are pretty crazy. I struggle to believe that random neurons firing are able to create elaborate narratives/scenes. Not saying that dreams are real worlds/alternate universes like this one, but maybe they are primitive thought creations.
Demons and evil spirits/beings just seems like the dumbest shit ever.

The only thing about death that scares me is if there's an afterlife.

I'm probably going to die of suicide, so my main concern is if I'm punished in an afterlife for killing myself (since its considered a sin in most religions)

I sincerely hope that death is just "the end".

I can totally relate to the strong urge to die
fucking bizarre
it's like any risk my body just yells TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE
and I stop trusting myself

youtube.com/watch?v=XqGr6hT_6ak

>the only reason we exist is to compete against each other for mates and contribute to our tribe. everything else is a distraction.

it's funny since i had a religious family member say basically serving god was our purpose and everything else was a distraction, it's like you made a religion out of darwinism.

I like to think I'll meet my dad and my ancestors in the afterlife and they'll congratulate me if I did things right.

im pretty happy with my life currently but i genuinely would not care if i died tomorrow

I won't pretend to know what to do about death and dying more than you.

Well, it's totally innevitable, but I've got shit to do before I die.
Like finding someone I love, maybe having children so that I'll be remembered for at least 50-60 more years, lose some weight so I can look my best for once, write a song, draw something great looking, take a photo of someone beautiful, be called beautiful by another human being who I'm attracted to, race around a track in a nice car, smoke some good weed with some good friends.
Generally, the only reason death scares me is because it might prevent me from doing the one thing I want, which is to make good, lasting memories.

For some reason, I've always had this intense yearning to go to Hell. It just seems comfy and familiar and I don't know why.