Hey! Tell me about your day, what you're thinking about, or really whatever you damn well please. Not like I think you're cool or anything... baka!
Hey! Tell me about your day, what you're thinking about, or really whatever you damn well please...
Kevin Martin
Luis Long
didn't do anything and am just feeling hella anxious
nothing out of the ordinary
Jose Perez
I feel like the only friends I have are only friends because they feel bad. They keep hanging out without me. What do?
Christian Powell
I havent had my pc in 9 days so todays day 9 of doing nothing, my lifes really dull and im a dull person
Easton Hall
>didn't do anything and am just feeling hella anxious
I'm sorry user. Is anything in particular making you anxious? Those feeling are awful, I hope they pass soon.
>I feel like the only friends I have are only friends because they feel bad. They keep hanging out without me. What do?
I don't know the dynamic better than you do. Why do you think they only talk out of pity? Why do they hang out without you? Not enough information to have any insight yet, sorry. I hope you have or get sincere friends regardless.
You can post on here but can't do anything? Your life might be a bit dull, that could very well be true, but you aren't as a person. Maybe try to find at least one interest you can practice without even touching a computer. It will made you less one dimensional to others and let you not be reliant on the computer for entertainment. Just think about things autists are into and try to get into one of them.
Ethan Parker
>did nothing but stay in my bed
Aiden Jones
Worked today, I slave away until Friday next week, asked for three days off so I can give my motorcycle some TLC.
I have to rebuild the forks, change the chain and sprockets, change the brake pads and the oil along with the back disc rotor.
Gonna be fun.
How about you OP
Wyatt Harris
I should be out smoking with them tonight. I asked if they wanted to and they said yes. Never got back to me after that. I see them high as balls on their snapchat stories right now though, and here I am home alone on the chans.
Jose Jones
I want liposuction. But I have no money nor a job.
Julian Morgan
If you're neet, then you should have plenty of time to do a 30 day water diet. Don't forget to salt your water.
If you don't have the patience or willpower to do this much then you wouldn't be able to keep the fat off with liposuction anyway.
Charles Gonzalez
Heh, what's it like bekng a total loser? I got up to pee at least twice, not like you'd understand a healthy, outgoing life.
Seriously though, are you okay user? Why did you not leave bed? I hope you're feeling alright.
>I slave away until Friday next week
Hope it's not insufferable and you can look forward to your time off soon. I really don't know much about motorcycles but it sounds like a lot of work.
>How about you OP
Fine. Saw grandpa after it's been a while. Car is finally fixed. Hopefully homeward bound soon.
>I asked if they wanted to and they said yes. Never got back to me after that.
I don't know what to make of it completely, but it sounds like they're ostracizing you. Make friends that treat you with dignity and actually deserve you. Ignoring you is the opposite of a friend. You Don't have to instantly cut them off but consider branching out, they sound like jerks.
Eating less food saves some money and is a side effect of no job, I know it's harder but the results are still possible with your current situation. I believe in you user, you don't need cosmetic surgery to be a good person in the eyes of others. If you want the good looks despite that why not take the health benefits while you're at it? You can do it user.
!
Henry Campbell
EUIV had a new expansion so I played that most of the day. I ate a bunch of garbage and made myself puke it up. I hate myself and how weak I am. Trying to pull yourself out of depression and make yourself a better person is so fucking hard and every day I question why I'm doing this and why I'm alive. I have nothing else though so I just keep going.
Carter Brooks
>EUIV had a new expansion so I played that most of the day
I had no idea. I'm no good at any of those grand strategy games, I forget about stuff with all the menus. I tried EUIV for a few hours but couldn't get hooked. I'm really happy you played it. Hope you have fun.
>I ate a bunch of garbage and made myself puke it up. I hate myself and how weak I am.
Please take care of yourself user. Throwing up what you eat is never good, that has to be contributing to why you feel so awful. Don't hate yourself, you don't deserve it. You're valuable and strong in a lot of ways, you have a lot of tenacity to live with misery for so long. It's very admirable.
>Trying to pull yourself out of depression and make yourself a better person is so fucking hard and every day I question why I'm doing this and why I'm alive.
It's hard, but if you keep trying you can do it. The hardest part is not giving up compeltely, keep trying at it user, your happiness is atrophied. It needs training to get strong again, it's tiring just like any other exercise but I believe in you. You're alive for a reason.
Joshua Hernandez
My room is really hot all the time. My window air conditioner was leaking and causing water to drip through the ceiling beneath my room so I had to remove it. It's hard to read or do other tasking things in these conditions.
Josiah Thompson
I appreciate your kind words
origiiggiina
Chase Murphy
>My room is really hot all the time. My window air conditioner was leaking and causing water to drip through the ceiling beneath my room so I had to remove it. It's hard to read or do other tasking things in these conditions.
Sorry user, I hate when my room gets hot. I hope it gets fixed. Anywhere north of 100 is just insufferable. Makes it hard to think, and hard to want to do anything but take an ice bath.
Don't mention it. Someone needs to do the loving yourself for you apparently, whether you like it or not!
Angel Richardson
Im working rn, drinking lots of coffee. I almost gave up on discord a while ago, but I found one with a very smol community, I think people there are starting to become frens, currently it is the only thing keeping me from crying everyday. Im grateful, things could be worse
Nathan Smith
>drinking lots of coffee.
Making me excited to get home Desu. I love making 3 pots of coffee a day when I'm at home, only get 3 cups a day or so right now.
>I almost gave up on discord a while ago, but I found one with a very smol community, I think people there are starting to become frens, currently it is the only thing keeping me from crying everyday
Sounds nice. I hope discord pans out better for you than me. Having some friends online is really cool. It really helps with loneliness. I hope they stick around and you have a lot of fun with them. I'm happy thinks are looking up so much for you!
Nolan Mitchell
my story didn't update today..
Grayson Roberts
First time a girl shown any interest in me and she is 9/10. Have no clue how to flirt or other social shit besides conversation.
Anxious for exams.
How are you OP
Leo Howard
I'm sorry user. I was reallyhoping it would come out on time. Hope you get the update soon. You seem to really be invested in it, I'm sorry you didn't get it, even if it makes you a little bit of a perv.
Grayson Long
Last night I was so miserable I looked up a "Girl Sleeping Sounds" youtube video on my phone and placed it next to my head while clinging to my anime body pillow. Woke up feeling like I hadn't even slept, then had an awful day of wagecucking and just barely stopped myself from walking into the HR office and quitting. I got taco bell for dinner on my way home, then felt bad immediately because I've been trying not to eat fast food or drink soda at all and I'm only supposed to cheat on Saturdays. I have a group of online acquaintances that are literally the only people I speak to outside of work and I've been avoiding them for no good reason for two weeks now. It's gotten to the point where I almost just want to never speak to them again because I don't have an explanation for why I've been absent so long.
Eli Price
>tfw reply comes seconds before I post
Pet peeve of mine lol
>First time a girl shown any interest in me and she is 9/10. Have no clue how to flirt or other social shit besides conversation.
If she's showing interest it's because she likes you as you are, don't worry. She'll probably think it's cute if you make a fool out of yourself hitting on her. Just go for it while the fire's lit. Give her a big hug for me on your first date.
>Anxious for exams.
Don't worry user. You're smart, if you work hard studying it will be easy.
>How are you OP
Excited to get home soon, still no long term plan for mom so I'm concerned, but a lot better than yesterday.
>Girl Sleeping Sounds" youtube video on my phone and placed it next to my head while clinging to my anime body pillow
Good taste. I like that too, only ASMR I can stomach. Sorry you didn't sleep well.
>had an awful day of wagecucking and just barely stopped myself from walking into the HR office and quitting. I got taco bell for dinner on my way home, then felt bad immediately because I've been trying not to eat fast food or drink soda at all and I'm only supposed to cheat on Saturdays.
We have some good days, we have some really bad days. Sorry man, please chin up if you can. Everybody has a lapse in discipline, just try not to do it again and you'll be ok. I hope work can be better than it is right now, that makes me really sad that you're so down.
>I have a group of online acquaintances that are literally the only people I speak to outside of work and I've been avoiding them for no good reason for two weeks now.
I've done the same online. Just go back to them, you'll regret it later. It always happens. They'll be happy to see you and accept any old excuse you dish out. They like you for a reason and don't want to stop seeing you. Turn acquaintances into friends with some dedication and time, you can do it!
Samuel Hughes
Op thank you. I'll go for that hug.
Lincoln White
Just been playing vidya all day as usual.
Is your mom ok from yesterday, OP?
Daniel Scott
>Just go back to them, you'll regret it later. It always happens.
I know you're right, and I totally should do that, but my brain just doesn't want me to. I've done this same thing not only with a bunch of different IRC groups, skype groups, and discord servers, but with all my real life friends as well. I think something inside me is just broken because I can't help but ghost everyone I know for little to no apparent reason.
Thanks for the positivity though
Luke Gonzalez
Don't mention it. You better or I'll bully you.
Hope vidya was fun user
>Is your mom ok from yesterday, OP?
She's stable. She had burst veins in her esophagus and was bleeding in her throat because she drinks so much. They did an endoscopy and burned the holes closed and put bands in so others wouldn't rupture. Don't become alcoholics anons, please.
>my brain just doesn't want me
user, you're lovely, but fuck your brain. Go talk to them please. They're probably worried about you. You get tired when you run a mile, but you have to force yourself when it's hard or You'll never make progress. Every chance you waste makes it harder to not be lonely. Please don't hurt yourself again, or I'll get mad at you for torturing my friend.
Joseph Adams
>She's stable.
Yay.
>She had burst veins in her esophagus and was bleeding in her throat because she drinks so much. They did an endoscopy and burned the holes closed and put bands in so others wouldn't rupture.
Oh shit, had no idea alcohol could do that to a person. Hope your mom isn't traumatized by this and makes a full recovery soon.
Jace Bennett
Who.. are you user? Why are you so kind?
Liam Morris
>Yay
Double yay
>Hope your mom isn't traumatized by this
I do. She only has a few years left in her unless she stops. Last time she almost had organ failure she got scared and sobered up for a month. Want her to stop permentantly. I want it to haunt her every time she thinks of pouring a drink.
Adam Hill
>2 seconds late
How does this happen so often!?
>Who.. are you user?
I'm user! Nice to meet you user.
>Why are you so kind?
If you're on a website with a ton of trolls trying to make others upset, the ultimate troll is to catch them off guard and try to make them happier. Get le ebin trolled :DDD
I just feel like it. Makes me feel good, makes others feel good, have time to kill. Why not?
Liam Allen
Thank you user.
I wanted advice. I just found a lot of new efriends, but they have good chemistry with each other and joke around a lot.
How do I get better at socializing and integrating with an existing clique?
Nolan Thompson
I'm thinking about loneliness user. How do you personally deal with it if you do?
David Sanchez
I feel pretty great, I'm more Alpha theb usual in school, and it's my 13th birthday.
Kayden Harris
>and it's my 13th birthday.
aaaaand banned
Isaac Hill
>Reported 15 minutes ago
Yeah this is a big part of why this board is all normies.
Eli Harris
No need to thank me.
>I just found a lot of new friends, but they have good chemistry with each other and joke around a lot.
Sounds great! Congrats user. Hope you have a lot of fun with them. It's cool to make a lot of friends.
>How do I get better at socializing and integrating with an existing clique?
Blind leading the blind. I don't like claiming to be an authority on advice, I'm far from successful. From my observations and experience in a group of people it's good to add something every once in a while so people don't forget you're there. If you can think of a joke or something interesting to add to the conversation, say it whenever you can. Never had a group of friends, so pardon my ignorance.
>I'm thinking about loneliness user
Sorry user, hope it's bearable. Loneliness sucks.
>How do you personally deal with it if you do?
I've been making threads on Jow Forums past few months. Makes me feel less lonely. Before that played vanilla WoW and spent time with my guild for a few months. Before that would go weeks without saying a word for about a year and just felt lonely. The only way I've found is human interaction, but it does help for me luckily.
I get you're trolling and all, but being on here that young is bad for you. I came on this site first when I was 10, that and video games made me comfortable in my isolation. It can only last for so long though, and you're a decade behind everyone else socially.
Easton Moore
do you have a discord, user? we could be friends too
Cooper Evans
Today was my first day at my new job taxi driver dont laugh. Not a perfect day but bretty ok for someone who was a semi hikki neet for almost 5 years. The hardest part was.. talking to people. wew lad
Liam Brown
Wouldn't really consider myself a normie, I'm much more of a newfag, the reason why I'm here is because I don't know what to do with my life and I'm interested in philosophy and edgy humor.
Jeremiah Edwards
I'm proud of you user, getting a job and not only that but you helped make it a good first day.
Leo Bennett
Im taking exams to get in a vet uni after 3 years of studying physics (wasnt what i expected it to be). Wish me luck baka
Angel Diaz
Hey user, how's it going?
I'm just playing some vidya with my friends, thinking about her. Also looking for a pair of boots to buy. I guess I'm doing pretty well, besides the emotional issues.
Joshua Cook
Third week into uni and I'm no better off than I was last year. Still 0 friends. And I stopped talking to the only online friends I found at the end of last year since they found people more interesting and I got the sense I was just a source of entertainment as opposed to a genuine friend (I still stalk them so I know this).
On the bright side I am eating after starving myself for weeks (I'm a skelly already) of no motivation.
Also thank you for making this thread user. Anons on Jow Forums are the only interaction I have and wholesome threads like this make wading through the garbage worth it.
Nathan Clark
>I do. She only has a few years left in her unless she stops. Last time she almost had organ failure she got scared and sobered up for a month. Want her to stop permentantly. I want it to haunt her every time she thinks of pouring a drink.
True, sorry I tend to think anxiety/being traumatized is a bad thing but in this case it's probably for the best if she does develop a fear to alcohol. Wish her good luck on staying sober for good this time!
There's nothing wrong in being a taxi driver, I'm glad you're breaking out of the hikki/neet life.
>The hardest part was.. talking to people.
IKTF. I can't barely even talk to people on Jow Forums most of the time. Hope you become more comfortable with people soon, also congrats on finding a job, user.
Justin Moore
I'm worried about posting contact stuff. That would make the thread about me more than other anons' days, makes me feel gross and narcissistic. I'm also not a very good friend, I get too anxious to contact people first and come off as cold. I think it's better for me to be an user than a person, I've been here every day anyways. As far as I know only 2 people know who I am off Jow Forums, I don't even know how one of them figured it out either.
That's a cool job user, all the cool robot characters in movies are drivers. Drive, Taxi Driver, you're a real life protagonist. Talking would ve hard but I'm proud of you for getting through it! I hope you can get a lot happier than your hiki life.
>I don't know what to do with my life
This is what you should do. You will thank me if you listen. Grab a hammer and smash anything with a microchip in your house into pieces. Computers could ruin you, and will never fulfill you. Cut them out before you're addicted.
>Wish me luck baka
Luck! In no time you'll be giving Spot an oriechtomy, I believe in you user. You'll make a good vet.
>Hey user, how's it going?
Alright
>I'm just playing some vidya with my friends, thinking about her.
Hope the games are fun, sorry she's on your mind. That has to sting, but get your mind off it.
>Also looking for a pair of boots to buy.
Hope you get some good ones. Break them in before something big comes along. I like being barefoot, if I need shoes I wear bath slippers.
>I guess I'm doing pretty well, besides the emotional issues.
Don't listen to those emotions then, focusing on them drags you down.
Character limit
Nathaniel Sanchez
>Still 0 friends. And I stopped talking to the only online friends I found
You have one friend at least user! Try to make some friends who you connect on a deeper level than, you deserve them.
>On the bright side I am eating after starving myself for weeks
Good job user! I know starving yourself for weeks can feel good but it isn't good. Feed yourself some yummy and easy to make foods, get enough calories in to live at least.
>Also thank you for making this thread user.
Don't mention it, please. Someone makes the thread, I don't need thanks because everyone enjoys it.
>True, sorry I tend to think anxiety/being traumatized is a bad thing but in this case it's probably for the best if she does develop a fear to alcohol. Wish her good luck on staying sober for good this time!
Don't be sorry, I feel the same way about negative feelings often. I hope she does too, it hurts to see her kill herself like this.
Samuel Johnson
>You have one friend at least user!
who? Also I don't really know how to make friends. The only way I found the first group was literally begging on my uni's subreddit if anyone wanted to be my friend and posting my discord. In retrospect it was sort of expected that the "friends" acquired through those means wouldn't really be all too genuine.
Chase Jones
Thank you for posting a sexy catgirl, user. I hope you get friends.
Mason Morgan
lonely. sad. broken.
Jayden Lee
>who?
I am!
>Also I don't really know how to make friends.
I never went to uni, I don't understand the dynamic completely. Can you join clubs? I'd start there, it's an established friend group with a free invite. It gets more genuine and deep with time. It's never too late for friendship, but there is always work to do.
I don't have an IRL, so internet friends are enough. Np, nekos are cute.
I'm sorry user. You aren't alone in how you feel, despite alone being what you feel. I'm sending you a big hug, it might take a few minutes to download.
Dominic Collins
The game is going pretty well I guess, I got someone to get themselves banned which was glorious.
And yeah, I don't think I get a choice though, with not thinking about her. I'd been alright for a while, but she's suddenly back on my mind. Such is the nature of emotions, I guess.
And thanks, I'll try. Right now I'm looking at Palladiums (pic related), but I wanted to see if there were any other options available. It seems like there isn't without going into military surplus, and I'm not really willing to do that right now.
Robert Jackson
Nobody likes me. No matter what I do, people reject me. I always try to be nice to everyone and I'm just met with rejection. I'm not sure why, I practice proper hygiene and wear appropriate clothes. I always try to be positive and polite when I talk to people.
I feel like I'm not even human. I can't relate to other people and nobody wants me around them.
Adam Allen
Ye, im proud of myself too, it might not be the best job but its the best I could hope for at the moment given my circumstances. Thanks for wishing me good luck, im sure that helped :^)
I was literally trembling and my voice was cracking when I picked up the first rider that affected my driving slightly Thats what extended isolation and poverty does to you. Got better by the end of the day tho. Thank god all were normal and understanding riders, I know there are some real dickheads out there, if one of those had been my first passenger I dont think id be writing this right now.
Yeah, theres something about it. Not glamour thats for sure, but its eh, dunno, the man machine connection, getting to know parts of your city and people you didnt even know could exist. That stuff. I didnt like Drive that much but loved Taxi Driver.
Though Id have loved to become a Fedex driver instead but the entry bar was higher and I dont know my city that well.
Thank you all for you kind words and encouragement anons :^)
William Nelson
>The game is going pretty well I guess, I got someone to get themselves banned which was glorious.
Sounds fun! Glad you're enjoying that.
>Such is the nature of emotions, I guess
Yeah, but everyone has some control over their emotions. Hope you can conquer that one.
>It seems like there isn't without going into military surplus, and I'm not really willing to do that right now.
Yeah, signing up with the army for some boots doesn't seem like it is worth it. Hope you get some good boots regardless.
Same happened to me most of my life. I guess some people just aren't charismatic. It's hard to win people over when you aren't very good at it. You are a person and you are valuable, people just write you off for no good reason. You'll find good people who aren't quick to judgement user, give it time and effort. Just don't let the rejections make you bitter and angry.
>Not glamour thats for sure, but its eh, dunno, the man machine connection, getting to know parts of your city and people you didnt even know could exist.
That's a cool way to look at it user, O hope it can at least be decent for you as work.
Connor Flores
It's my birthday today. To celebrate, my coworkers started arranging daily tasks so that nobody has to be alone with me. I hope that I don't live to see my next birthday.
Easton Hill
>It's my birthday today.
Here's a catgirl for you as a present user!
>my coworkers started arranging daily tasks so that nobody has to be alone with me.
That's awful. Just ignore them, they're mean. You shouldn't be treated like that. Don't feel bad about cruel people ignoring you, you're better never sharing a word with them.
>I hope that I don't live to see my next birthday.
I hope you want to see your next birthday by the next one. Cheer up user! I hope you get a lot happier a lot quicker than you think is possible.
Xavier Rivera
Oh and something else I wanted to share: I had a very strong deja vu when my day ended and I headed back home. Im 100% certain I had never been on that road before but everything felt so strongly familiar. I dont know what to make of it, I tend to overthink things. Sometimes I feel Nietzsches Eternal Return literal interpretation is real.
James Diaz
That's weird. Sometimes I get Deja Vu but more often than not I get confused and unfamiliar with places I know I've been. Eternal return actually makes some sense, if the universe cannot be created or destroyed it persists and has persisted ad infinitum. Assuming there's a finite configuration of matter and energy and infinite iterations of those configurations, things must reoccur an infinite number of times. It's a law of sets.
Nathaniel Evans
>Got better by the end of the day tho.
Good, soon it'll barely bother you and work will be much easier to get through.
> I know there are some real dickheads out there, if one of those had been my first passenger I dont think id be writing this right now.
You'll eventually met those kind of people but don't let it get to you. Look how far you've come from a hikki/neet, are you gonna let some no name douchebag ruin all of that progress? Anyways congrats on taking your first step on being productive, wish you good luck on your next work day.
Happy birthday user! Fuck your co-workers though, hope the rest of your day was better.
>it hurts to see her kill herself like this.
Yeah iktf too. On top off my mom denying she has dementia, she's also morbidly obese and doesn't stop eating unhealthy shit. She already had the a vein in her eye burst because of high blood pressure and multiple doctors warning her to stop but she doesn't. I'm always anxious she's gonna die any minute, especially since it's uncommon to see women that obese at her age. Anyways I'm going to bed, thanks for another comfy thread again. goodnight OP.
Luke Cox
Good night user, sorry about your mom. I hope she improves, please sleep well.
Jaxon Sanchez
>what you're thinking about
Everything. No matter what I do I cannot seem to find happiness or sadness. Once I get something I think I want, it just doesn't grant me any feels. I don't care about sex or love or any other robot coping methods. I really don't know what I need or desire and this has been on my mind for a year now.
Owen Wright
>No matter what I do I cannot seem to find happiness or sadness. Once I get something I think I want, it just doesn't grant me any feels.
Same thing happens to me, it's not uncommon for people. You can have everything and still be miserable. I find trying to make the most of it improves my mood, but that might not be universal. I really hope you can break out of it. Depression is more of a personality type than a dosease, and it's really difficult to change yourself to someone who can be happy. It's hard to do, especially on your own, but you can. You have to kill your current state of mind so a new one can grow, this is the most effective clinical cure for depression. ECT does it mechanically, but we will do it psychologically hopefully.
Julian Lee
Thank you for replying. Usually when I write stuff like that, the thread 404's.
>You have to kill your current state of mind
But how? Changing your base way of thinking sounds impossible.
Jeremiah Ward
I didn't mean having to join the army, military surplus is military gear that the military sells for a profit, because they have too much of it. Most of the time it's gear that they don't use anymore, so they can't repurpose it within their organisation.
Cooper Reyes
>I cannot seem to find happiness or sadness. Once I get something I think I want, it just doesn't grant me any feels.
I know they're memes at this point but you should really look up what and how dopamine and serotonine work. Even if the soul does exist there's a heavy mechanical element to our brain and thought processes. I think to always want more, no matter what little or much you actually have is part of being human, it's how our brain works, it's hardwired and unless you become a monk you won't be able to control this.
>I don't care about sex or love or any other robot coping
I know that feel, you get rid of all the desires most people have, because they're overrated, idealized and pretty much drilled into everyones heads at a young age for no reason other than to serve the CIA Niggers agenda (Yes, modern culture is largely artificial and planned, when it isn't it's quickly co-opted). And yet you still don't feel any better.
>what I need or desire and this has been on my mind for a year now.
That's an interesting question. Depending on who you ask you could say we don't need anything more at all, our survival is guaranteed. Can't say the same about reproduction but I don't see reproduction today as a way to increase your chances of survival nor does it seem to make people actually happy. If you asked Schlomo what we need he'd say we need more money, more junk entertainment, more aspartame, more cars, more pills, more debt, more work, more slavery.
If you asked me all I desire for is peace, it's a broad term but my personal definition is basic needs met + lack of desire without falling into depression, because peace still allows you to enjoy the smallest and simplest things of life. Birds singing, coffee, music, anything that makes you laugh.
But it's not that simple and often the first step is financial freedom and for that you need money. Money that buys you freedom and time, not useless plastic trash. From there you can work your way up.
John Mitchell
>Thank you for replying.
Don't mention it, please.
>But how? Changing your base way of thinking sounds impossible.
Do you think the same way now as you did when you were a little child? As a baby? Years of misery and indifference made us this way but we can undo it. It's a lot of hard work, and hard to want to get better, but we can undo the thpught patterns of self-loathing that put us in this position. We've sunk to the abyss, where no light shines. Without positive reinforcement we're going the right way it's hard to orient ourselves, but we can get out of the crushing depths and find the sun again.
Oh... I'm sorry, I should've known that. I've been to a surplus store but didn't know that was what it's called. I'm nornally good with words, sorry.
Lincoln Martin
I'm the user from a couple nights ago that got denied that cart pushing job
got an interview for another store next week, if I don't get that job my roommate's gonna kick me out, but he'll let me store my stuff there for awhile and let me back as soon as I get a job and he'll let me shower if I get any interviews
so it's not nearly as bad as it could be, but I've never had to sleep outside before besides camping
hope it doesn't come to that
also managed a one whole meal today
Noah Ward
Also you probably already read it but if not read the "Surrogate Activities & the Power Process" section of the Unabomber manifesto.
Does anyone else here dislike the word "happiness"? In my family my aunt, who was this kind of "happy happy happy!" person, you know, those who are most miserable in reality, well she was like matriarch of the family. And so she instilled into everyone that we must be happy! happy! happy!, no space for negative thoughts! only happy ones! Fuck that whore and her positivity. Many in our families were convinced it was them alone who were the problem when the evidence clearly pointed to a much wider issue. And so because they were the problem and everything was milk and honey they were wrong to get angry and anxious. Angry and anxious about perfectly justifiable things.
There are a few psychology pieces out there that talk about this, how desire and getting angry and mad are survival mechanisms that force you to do shit and improve.
I'm rambling and projecting at this point but if it serves of anything I want to make you know user, two important things. That it's NORMAL and BENEFICAL to not be happy all the time, and that either you or I have the definition of happy wrong. I think a lot of people think of the word happy as a guy with a permanent smile on his face. Imho that's impossible because of the dopamine and serotonine (and tons of other shit) that I mentioned at the beginning. But I still don't know even for my own standards what happiness means, so I just use the word peace (with my own definition too).
Sebastian Flores
Hi user, hope you're holding up okay.
>got an interview for another store next week
Good luck with the interview. I really hope you get the job. Sounds like the stakes are high, sending good fortune your way.
>never had to sleep outside before besides camping
Good luck. Depending on where you stay it can be decent or really dangerous. Please be alright user.
>also managed a one whole meal today
Getting a square meal is surviving at least. Good job getting it in user.
Luke Carter
thanks for the concern
I figure I'll be safe and that everything will turn out well no matter how bad it gets. The hard part will be keeping that state of mind though. Negative thinking is a slippery slope
Noah Butler
Also before you mention it. That you're not asking for constant happiness but just bits of it. Well that's why I mentioned having the definition wrong. You might not be all-smiles at all, zero. I don't think that means you don't experience happiness. I think it's just your personality and there's nothing wrong with that. So I believe there are times when you do feel this sort of peaceful state of mind that might go unnoticed. Those times when things feel just "right, even if all is falling apart around you.
James Hill
>"Surrogate Activities & the Power Process" section of the Unabomber manifesto.
that was the worse section of it
at least what I got from it was that man's only true happiness if from satisfying basic survival needs and that hobbies and spending time with loved ones is bad
Zachary Gray
Don't worry, I found it kinda funny. You're a fun person to talk to. Don't sweat it!
Ryan Diaz
>Assuming there's a finite configuration of matter and energy and infinite iterations of those configurations, things must reoccur an infinite number of times. It's a law of sets.
That stuff keeps me up at night. When philosophy, cosmology and physics collide. Where does the universe exist? What exists between universes? What are the rules of nature of each one? Whats beyond the Planck scale and observable universe?
Its scary to think im going to relive this hell over and over again for all eternity. For all I know this plane of existence is hell. Good thing I dont own a crystal ball, maybe things will get better.
Jordan Lewis
I think that's a good mindset to have as long as you keep making good decisions, which I trust you will. Good luck at the interview, I believe in you.
Sorry, I try to be nice, not stupid. Hope it doesn't sully your perception of me too much.
I like thinking about that stuff a lot too, but I try to not become entirely immersed by it. It's God's job to know all that stuff, I'll solve what I can a piece at a time at my own pace. While I'm a shut in who doesn't comb his hair no one will take me seriously anyways. Cosmic truths are more complicated than milsurp.
Mason Martin
Is it not though? That's why I said depending on who you ask. Also why I mentioned dopamine and serotonine, those are the most basic but you'd be surprised how many people are not even aware they exist. But I do mostly agree with Ted on that and at the same time can't help but fall for that process. It's disheartening to think of yourself as merely a super advanced biological computer, but a computer nonetheless, with inputs and according outputs.
Even if you don't agree with him I think it's something that rly makes u think (good).
>that hobbies and spending time with loved ones is bad
It's been a while since I read it but I don't think that was the point, he mentions certain "hobbies" are bad but others are good like lifting. I don't remember him quite exactly saying spending time with loved ones is bad.
Still, one of the reasons he turned out like that was being subject of cia niggers mindfuck programs. That alone makes me a bit wary of his writings.
Jayden Lopez
i started spamming dota again on my 2nd account, even though i didn't play for like two months and was on the verge of quitting the game
i'm doing pretty good atm and feeling motivated but the dream to become a professional player will never come true, especially when my second year uni starts in two weeks which is supposed to be the most time consuming and most difficult one and i don't know whether i'll manage to endure the inevitable breakdowns since i probably won't be able to play at all
also the future will be bleak even if i do manage to finish my studies, since i'll run out of money next year so afterwards i'll have to mix studies with work so i still probably won't have time to do anything i want
and then it will be too late to achieve anything, i'll just be stuck as a wagecuck for next 50 years until i die or hopefully kill myself
Cooper Stewart
my 2 cents on this comes from mormon philosophy since I am mormon. Say what you want about mormons, but I think this perspective is pretty good
we believe that we were all spirits living with god without bodies before we are born
we also believe in 'spiritual matter' meaning there they are no metaphysics and that you could see it if your eyes were 'pure', I believe their could be scientific explanation to it
as for the universe, God himself was once a man like us but has been perfected and he creates planets from existing matter-energy and also creates children(spirits/us) and once are time comes, we too could perfect ourselves and become gods, but we are always progressing and this becomes a cycle that goes on eternity with no end and no real start
a lot of this is my personal interpretation and not official church doctrine
Josiah Bennett
>i'll just be stuck as a wagecuck for next 50 years
if it makes you feel better that will be the future of everyone ITT
>he doesnt know about TPTB plan
Nicholas Edwards
>i started spamming dota again on my 2nd account
Hope you're having fun. Doesn't matter if you're a professional, as long as you enjoy it it's good to do. MOBAs are waning too in my opinion, so money probably wouldn't be too impressive.
>i'm doing pretty good atm and feeling motivated
You mood is good, that's great. I hope it continues for you. Dissolve those worries when they don't serve a purpose and just do your best to feel alright.
>i don't know whether i'll manage to endure the inevitable breakdowns since i probably won't be able to play at all
Cross that bridge when you come to it.
Ialso the future will be bleak even if i do manage to finish my studies, since i'll run out of money next year so afterwards i'll have to mix studies with work so i still probably won't have time to do anything i want
It'll be difficult but I have faith you can make it through. That's a year down, focus on your studies now.
>and then it will be too late to achieve anything, i'll just be stuck as a wagecuck for next 50 years until i die or hopefully kill myself
We both know it's silly to look this far down the line. Go to everything you do and aim for success, the rest will sort itself out. The future is too distant for any plan today to be useful. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow, you're ruining your good day today.
Jordan Murphy
Why do I feel so sad about Terrys death, Megu user? I'm not even a schizo but fuck ;_;
Ethan Rodriguez
Seriously, don't worry! It's fine. I don't think my perception of you could have been sullied. I love what you're doing.
(I wish I could attach a cute anime girl but I've got none, sorry)
Liam Lewis
>unless you become a monk you won't be able to control this.
So I should become a monk? Do you think tulpamancy would be something worth practicing?
I understand what you're saying but how can you do this when you have no real passion anymore. Most people better themselves in such ways when it's something they want, right? All I want is my emotions back really. Joy, sadness, anger, annoyance. Is it really possible to restore those naturally?
I do think I get you but using happy people as a source for anger and motivation to seek my own is useless since to them the answer is love and friends but those are only annoying to me. Everything just sort of feels grey really.
Brody Johnson
Actually, adding. I do have a new desire and it's to take the life of a human. It sounds incredibly thrilling but for obvious reasons, I cannot set out to do such a goal so I really don't know what's left for me to gain a type of emotion from.
Ryder Watson
>Why do I feel so sad about Terrys death, Megu user? I'm not even a schizo but fuck ;_;
It made me really sad too. I saw the video the moment it came out, because I had just recently subscribed to his YouTube it was at the top of my feed. I saw his last words while he still was alive. When templeos confirmed his death I cried, it makes you sad because you're human. A senseless death happened to a man who tried his best. Everybody used him as a lolcow and cheered him on and when he died it stopped being funny to anyone instantly. RIP Terry. He's got a system link with the TempleOS full release now.
Thanks for forgiving me. Here's a yui for you
>how can you do this when you have no real passion anymore
Pure willpower. Emotions won't tale you there because you lost them a long time ago. Logic won't take you there because the end goal is an illogical desire. You do it, not because you want to, not because you can, because you are.
>All I want is my emotions back really. Joy, sadness, anger, annoyance. Is it really possible to restore those naturally?
They went away naturally, didn't they? Unless someone cut something out of your brain when you weren't looking everything you used to have is still there. Parts of your brain shrink with depression like atrophy, it's a matter of stimulating and growing them again. It's 100 times harder coming back than getting there, but it is possible. CBT simulates growth of character to be efficient, but I firmly believe it can be attained alone. You are a human user, you always have been. The human in you just got sedated by your misery. You need to wake him up.
Anthony Price
Thank you so much. I appreciate that yui.
Do you have more of that girl you posted last time? The one with curly hair. I find her adorable. Don't know what anime she's from though
James Richardson
Which one has curly hair?
Nolan Cook
It looked curly-ish. I don't know.
The one in
Caleb Scott
I feel like I'm in a different world to the one I was in a month ago
Everyone feels replaced and different
My feelings are different
I don't feel comfortable around anyone or anything
Everything has just changed out of no where and I have no reasoning behind it
My lover won't give me the time of day yet she's still in my life, my friends only talk to me when they need to,my mother has near abandoned me, my tasks throughout life have gotten drastically harder.
I genuinely feel like I have woken up one day into a different world or dimension. I remember the day because the moment I woke that day, I had a psychotic break.
What the fuck is going on?
Adrian Sanchez
thank you for the kind words user
i'm not really interested in anything else in rl, i sacrificed my high school years and socializing for trying to get closer to my dream and i don't regret it
but still it's a bit sad, especially since i never got even close
although most professional players played for like 10 years and even around age 25+ so there might still be hope
Josiah Barnes
>So I should become a monk?
Unironically yes, if you have the means to do it.
>Do you think tulpamancy would be something worth practicing?
Nah, you don't want to go crazy. Wait for VR waifus instead.
In general I don't think it's a good idea to depend on others in any way except maybe for inspiration. Not for motivation, not for happiness, not for anger. Everything that is meant to last and be true comes from inside. Sorry if I made it seem as if I hated happy and "happy!!" people, im indifferent to them, what bothers me is that dumb concept of happiness that some people love to adopt and spread, not the people per se.
>just sort of feels grey really
This will sound like sour grapes but I don't think others are that much better off, they just have more things to occupy their time with.
>it makes you sad because you're human. A senseless death happened to a man who tried his best.
The more I watch his vids the more I start to sort of admire him, beyond the memes. The way that he lived (or tried to) as he wanted, how he didn't want to get "castrated" by docile nigger pills. How he dropped hard redpills in between the nonsense and humour. His technical ability that I as a CS dropout can only dream of. He really was unique. Not a lot people left who combine wild with genius.
Senseless but he was a schizophrenic after all. He liked to delete a lot of his own vids, but the last one is insightful once you watch it carefully. Feels bad.
>Everybody used him as a lolcow and cheered him on and when he died it stopped being funny to anyone instantly.
I don't think that was the case at all. Not everybody used him for the keks. Many people legit liked him. The culprits were people pretending to be Diana and kiwifarms. Fucking literal niggers.
From what I read on Jow Forums he barely saw a cent of the so called donations because someone else handled that, fuck those fags too.
The thedalleschronicle article released today killed all my hope ;_;
Cooper Hill
Don't have any of her, that was another user's post but it's kumiko from hibike euphonium.
user, I have no idea. If things just got objectively worse it's probably a run of bad luck, if you had a mental shift be careful. You said psychotic break and if you mean that term try to ground yourself with something that you know is real and always has been. Regardless it sounds like you're in a precarious position, I hope you get out of it safe.
I'm not saying it's impossible, just saying it's not a very safe career path. Keep doing what you love, but money ruins love quicker than anything else.
I get how you feel regarding Terry. I relate to him too much to not be unsettled by his death. We're both willfully unmedicated "schizos", higher than average intelligence which is anomalous among people with that diagnosis, and have a lot of the same unpopular thoughts and feelings. I can't help but feel we're connected and his death had something to do with me. I don't like talking about this anymore. It's a real tragedy that he died though, I'll miss him. No glow in the darks in heaven, they go to hell with their kind.
Hudson Morales
Ah, cool, thanks. I don't know if I want to start watching or not, but I appreciate you telling me. It's nice to know.
Caleb Wright
Well you know where to find every animated image of her now at least!
Tyler Ross
I'm being so lazy recently, i think its because the doctor found some lumps in me and im scared i have cancer.
Blood test were sent yesterday and im just sat here contemplating.
Ayden Anderson
That sounds scary. Hope the test results come back normal.
Jackson Garcia
My day is going terrible. I woke up and want to die because she left me last week. I can barely function. It's sad I'm actually thinking about ending it all
Nathaniel Garcia
>Headphones broke
>WIFI broke
Heart broke
Jack Brown
well let's see
>almost starving myself to death out of an inability to eat more than maybe 600 calories a day
>omnipresent weakness and sickness
>want to get Jow Forums so I can join the FFL and die but that's very hard when your physical ability is equivalent to that of an 80 year old
>very cold right now
>overwhelming sense of despair every day
>probably a schizo, I refused to eat yesterday because I was convinced my mum was drugging my food
>speaking of whom she's a control freak who's always prying in on me and what I'm doing and trying to do things the way she wants, and became a lot worse about 2 months ago when she threatened to send me to a psych ward and then gaslit me about it
>gone on Jow Forums for the first time in years, immediately regret it and the state this board (and site as a whole) has become
but yeah beyond that it's ok