Ask if you Want

how old were you when you felt you got your life together or got the girl? im 23 and i feel more detached everyday, i know im getting older and theres no turning back. i seriously want to kill myself. i can hardly leave the house anymore. by some miracle i have a job that i occasionally go to and save the money for a potential future that'll get me out of here, but for now i hate my life and don't know if ill make it

>(((explored sexually)))

dude that's rough and I feel for you.

I'm 27 now and I've been seeing this girl for a number of months now. Before this I asked myself often if it was ever worth it to try and have a meaningful relationship, like if I could ever trust a girl to be a good partner. I think I got pretty lucky, but I was also very very discerning.

Before this I never really had a proper girlfriend, or a proper relationship.

I was 22 the first time I had sex, and it was pretty bad. My life was not together at that time, but I felt a sense of accomplishment for doing it at the time.

also in regards to getting my life together, I would say it's pretty together now, but it's a ongoing process of working to improve one aspect, and then realizing there's another aspect that needs addressing.

I don't think you need your life in perfect order to get a girl, but for me it did really help.

For example though, my friend banged lots of chicks, like way more than me, while still living with his parents.

And lots of guys are scumbags with shit jobs and personalities that still get women. I try not to be that though.

ive had sex a number of times, but i may as well be a fucking virgin because ive never had a girlfriend. i literally don't remember what sex feels like. it pisses me off to no end because i feel ive done NOTHING wrong. i cut off all my friends because im angry every day, and im basically prison gay now. i can't be around people that aren't this depraved because ill either get jealous or horny around them, i think i would be a nympho had i actually been capable of having sex more than ~10 times

i'm coming off of years of heroin addiction and even though it's been a while since i used i still feel like shit. dope cured my robot-ness but now im not sure if i can go on without it

ive been playing guitar and a little piano and other instruments for fucking 12 years now and i've never had a real guitar that's not a piece of unplayable fucking shit. other kids grew up with parents that buy them thousands of dollars of equipment. i actually have an artistic vision and i put hard fucking work into my craft and i have nothing. i never could stand working minimum wage jobs plus im awkward so i couldn't save up any money without getting fucked up or getting fired.

now i finally save money for the first time in my life and when im not at work im sitting on Jow Forums literally 24/7 and im not fucking giving up this time i have about $1k and im not stopping till i get a guitar, amp, and car so i can move to LA, i hate life and i honestly kinda want people to know.

sorry im done

okay I see kinda. Not total virgin but not where you wanna be. It sounds like your situation is tougher than mine desu.

I think yours is a bigger question than just relating to women. It's unfortunate that our society is such that you have to work, sometimes doing shit jobs, to pay for your bare essentials but that's the case if you live in a city.

I think about this often and it's kind of depressing sometimes.

Have you ever looking into doing a year on a commune or something?

>robot in a commune
i probably can't do a commune because the jealousy and anger really sets in when im with groups. ive tried "moving out" 3 times now. and you're right, girls dont always go for the guys with their shit together, just ask my friends

the thing that kills me is seeing all of my friends get laid or get into relationships with the girls that become part of our circle. im literally the only one that never does. i only have sex with people from outside sources, tinder or parties. im the only one where it's like out of the question for any of the women to show interest in me. and ive been on the absolute cusp of getting a 8/10 girl many times. it's just frustrating is all.

so i don't like groups because im a piece of shit cyborg that basically doesn't fit in. i have a lot of guy friends that say good things about me, but i can't make friends with a woman and that's what i really have interest in. i feel disdain towards many males. a commune would be full of hippie types that would subtley compete with me for dominance, it's just the way it works. it happens here for christs sake. i hate gender roles and shit but it's a necessary evil.

no, this time i want to move out on my own, for the first time. i wanna move to LA and not live with my fucking parents (live in a small house and theyre old and never go out), then just work on my music every day and ill be happy. it's just that im not getting any younger and ive gotta make a move soon if i have any chance of making it in some capacity. not sure if it's even possible to survive in a city with poverty wages.

yoooooo it sounds like you do have a plan which is way better than most right?
Move out and work on your music. I get that's easier said than done.

Also it's fine to not want to hang out in groups lol. I really eschew group/party settings, and there are plenty of girls who feel the same. A lot of women are afraid to say they'd prefer to stay in every night and watch movies because they're worried about being judged. Social value is a really driving force for almost all women and it takes a lot for them to let their guard down.

I think part of making friends with a girl is being able to really qualify exactly what you're looking for, or you'll never find it.

Prior to meeting the girl I'm with I was kind of the same. Everyone brought girls into the group and I was always alone lol.

I met and hooked up with women but I was never clear with myself what I wanted desu so I kind of took whatever. This time I clearly qualified the kind of girl I would be happy with, physically and personality-wise.

And I get it with the commune then - not for you!

how does it feel to live your life like a simulator, with scheduled "level ups" and graded chicks instead of real relationships? you are more of a robot than anyone here. completely lifeless

feels pretty good now.
and all we can do is keep moving forward.
I mentioned steps that seem kind of meaningful to me looking back, but nothing was scheduled.

the way you look at it, i hate it. because i can do this sort of shit. i'm sort of doing it right now. i just hate that it's the only way things happen. it seems so hollow to me. i'm angry. i want a real life not this

describe the real life you want

people are real. different. less social. more iindividual. smarter. stronger of will. honest. the culture interferes with human nature less. instead of streamlining it and dividing into categories. love because of a neigh infinite amount of factors. not because of one number. i fucked your numbers, give me a fucking life!

well im proud of ya for finding a real girl. life isn't always so good to us cyborgs (we're cyborgs, not robots)

yes i have a plan and i always have, but it's really complicated to get into right now. the heroin thing really fucked me up. basically i never feel physically comfortable anymore and i think that's the driving force behind my doubt in myself. not sure if i was really comfortable before though? idk it just seems harder now. not sure if i can drag my ass to work everyday out there

this describes some societal changes and the way people around you act and think, but it doesn't seem to describe YOUR ideal life in terms of what occupies your time on a day to day basis.

If the people in your life are not up to your standards you can endeavour to get different and better people into your life. I did this and continue to actively do this.

There are probably people somewhere in the world who behave and think in ways you approve of. Or if not you can choose to retreat from society or work to influence people.

But noone owes you anything, any more than you owe them.

Thank you man. I never thought it would happen. I never saw myself as someone who could have a girlfriend or a relationship.

Lack of motivation to continue to hustle in job you don't like? I totally get it. Nothing else to say.

I've been lucky enough not to get involved in any kind of drug habit.

What do you mean by not physically comfortable though?

you speak generica. you claim to answer but the questions fall on deaf ears. your words don't even matter to yourself.

I've responded to the best of my ability with nothing but good intentions.

If it wasn't helpful, then that's unfortunate.
I don't think these are generic responses that some people give like "JUST WORKOUT BRO" or "JUST STOP BEING DEPRESSED"
Perhaps the answers were apt, but not what you wanted to hear.

I guess try asking in a different way?

well i think i wouldn't mind working as much if it weren't for this comfort issue

it's so hard to describe. at first withdrawals are obviously terrible and then they fade away. but it could be a post acute withdrawal. idk, i get chills sometimes, like if i get up too fast when i don't wanna move. a lot of times i'll just feel out of my head tired or really shitty. i still can't sleep well, never have. my anxiety is crippling.

it's just that i can't remember if i was like this before drugs or not. i think i was, but not as bad

its complicated because i think that all the worlds problems are contributed by physical pain/discomfort. the reason why you don't want to go to work, or do you things you don't want to, is because it causes some physical strain. if there were no pain, we could fully embrace our surroundings and be left to our vices without any complications. things would be fun. i have this weird theory that because our bodies ache as we get older it gets harder to enjoy things which is where that "lost youth" thing comes from.

i'm going through a philosophical dilemma in which im not sure if i should be feeling this much discomfort or not. it's possible that im having a post acute withdrawal to the opiates. that can last years they say

okay what you describe is very very different from anything I've experienced.

All my challenges were based in insecurity or lack of ambition/motivation. I've never had physical discomfort issues or serious anxiety.

If you can get something prescribed or get some treatment for your anxiety and withdrawal I think that would help for sure.

I don't know if you live in a country where that would be covered or not. Perhaps you can lean on your parents if it's a money issue. I think getting well is #1 concern. You can't be expected to function happily if you feel like shit.

Without pain or suffering every fun thing becomes dull. After you are done patching up your pain, your mind will just acclimatize and become more sensitive to more minor ones, and it will continue doing this as you remove more distant anxieties and pains.

For our ancestors it was hunger and disease in the immediate future. Now we can worry about not being socially successful now that we have alot more time to play with before we starve or probably get a fatal disease.

I think you're right, and if there were no challenges or discomfort in life there wouldn't be contrast to appreciate accomplishment and even wholesome pleasures.

But I also think there's a base level of well-being which is not blameworthy to pursue.

why did you chose to become a normo ?

how does it feel to take the blue pill ?

does the steak taste good ?

I decided to see if I could find a girl similar enough to me and my interests that I'd enjoy spending time with her. I didn't know if I'd find anyone like that when I started looking. I wasn't willing to put up with shit from a basic 2018 girl in exchange for sex.

When I found this girl I decided to go ahead and have a normie relationship.

We're pretty open about our sexual history. I don't feel I've taken the blue pill.

How did you met your girlfriend?

met on tinder