My life is so fucked, I cannot stand what I do, I cannot stand my daily life, I cannot stand my habits, I cannot stand my surroundings, I cannot stand what my future will be, I cannot stand anything
I am becoming so wild and neurotic, my moods have never flipped flopped around like this before in my life, wild outbursts of swearing and shouting, running to and fro followed by me sinking lower than the ground in silence
I want to live in a tower, alone and by myself for the rest of my days
Other urls found in this thread:
Just calm the fuck down. Have a wank or sth.
Take a break. Go on a trip for a week. Or go camping alone. See the stars. Think about your life.
>I am becoming so wild and neurotic, my moods have never flipped flopped around like this before in my life, wild outbursts of swearing and shouting, running to and fro followed by me sinking lower than the ground in silence
That sounds like tons of repressed emotions, let it all out. You will feel better.
If you are at the point in which daily life has become torture I say you leave and go soul searching. Pack some shit up and live on the road for a while and explore. That picture is sick btw sauce?
I cannot let it out
my family fell apart, shit went down, and I am all that is left
the entire side of my father's family sees me as the one good thing to come out of this mess
if I snap, it really will be the end of me, I'm in university with a gpa of 3.7, I'm trying to keep it together for as long as I can but I know in my heart it cannot last forever
If only I had the time to try those things
masturbation just makes me irritable
A band I love, have a listen
youtube.com
You have to do it man. Of course it ill be hard. but you need to. I have seen what happens to people who never let their emotions out, you don't want that , trust me.
Who the hell should I talk to
How do I let it out
call me damaged but I never like to air my dirty laundry to people I know, its a bother for them I'm sure and makes me look like a chump
I haven't spoken to my mates or family in over a month now, I'm trying to get myself sorted out on my own, I know that real chance can only come from within
*real change
Of course the change has to come from within. But sometimes you need someone to hear you out.
Talk to your mates or family about that. If they don't want to hear you that means they are shit companion. Hell , you can even talk about your shit here.
I can't bear to face my mates like this honestly, I was already being a bit of a neurotic cunt to them which is what prompted me to just retract for a few weeks
its been over a month now, and I don't want to just be like 'lol hey lads nothings wrong' and then continue being a mental patient trying to hide it as best I can
>Hell , you can even talk about your shit here.
I am fundamentally unhappy with my life, even though from the outside it looks to be going great, I constantly think about offing myself, my future even if I succeed and do well is going to be shit, the alternative of no degree/job like this is going to be even worse, I have a drug addiction that makes everything 10x worse but I cannot stop even for two days time, I'm just falling apart
you need anti depressive medication m8.
It blocks out emotions wich is not a good thing for most people but for you it might be good
Only a woman would write something so meaningless and without a point
fuck that honestly
the moment I start pumping myself full of chemicals to mess with my mind even more I'll just go apeshit
meaningless is a fitting way to describe
>the moment I start pumping myself full of chemicals to mess with my mind even more I'll just go apeshit
no you wont, you will go numb and you will be boring and you will be slow, and like i said that will be bad for most people but not for people who describe themselves as the OP
To OP, I want to know if you have a single friend, just one, that you could speak to?
unironically very many, but
as I mentioned I can't stomach seeing them as I am right now
empyrium is pretty good tee bee aitch
We have to go through the extremes of our emotions before we can begin truly living our lives, if you never reach the lowest low or the highest high, how can you expect to make any decision in life?
It gets more manageable when you know what your bondaries are OP
Nah, fuck you, I mean one real friend. I was in a similar situation, bit different, but all you need is one, one true motherfucker that went through something remotely similar.
Grab a x2 6 pack and speak with them. This shit ain't about me, but I want you to know that you're not alone.
What happened to your family?
As a "person" having gone/going through depression I really can't emphasize enough how important family is to your development and bettering.
You can talk about it at least here, and once you have an idea you might even be able to start resolving the issue and talking about it irl.
>camping alone
good idea user
one of my parents was a criminal and more or less was the knife that pried everything apart
Take me for my word when I say it is best that I continue on silently and to myself
Sometimes I just feel like breaking. I am calm now, so I'll probably fuck off.
I know what you meant. If I told a few folk about my going ons in full they would know and understand. They aren't strangers, not to me.
What's stopping you then? You really need to speak; I don't mean about muh feels, that will come with time, but just fucking talk, about nothing if needs be, that's what got me out of that shit.
Just don't think its how I'm hardwired. Doing so would be insanely forced and would sound like I'm bitching or looking for attention. I've been been visibly off for like, a year now. Last thing I need to do is act all melodramatic and start blogging about my life to anyone in earshot
Oh... that's sad.
So you had to cut the contact I guess because the person is pathological in nature.
Can the rest of the family at least unite`?
Not really, and it is for the best. Times together are best remembered, and nothing more.
well, you can do one of three things
1) sort yourself out and work towards something constructive
2) abandon regular life and become a nomad, travel all over on freight trains and live off wits and good fortune, try to find meaning through this lifestyle
3) basically just do opiates all day until you're dead
gl son
Do you want to change your life OP? I'll post a list of things that you must do if you do.
>hey guys i watched a youtube video
Yeah man, find one of your m8s and go have some calm fun with them. They'll remind that you are wanted.
Remember, killing youre is a waste of a gift. That gift is life. Be strong! Be brave! Don't resort to cowardess and take your life.
Nah m8, most of us were or are in the same boat. But if anyone wants a change they must work for it, no matter how shitty the the cards that were handed to them were.
>I want to live in a tower, alone and by myself for the rest of my days
I've always said cave but really anything that people generally wouldn't try to visit or enter