>be me >work my ass off >escape academic probation and get prestigious scholarship >work in lab of one of the greats in my field >phd student supervising me gradually starts to hate me for making klutzy mistakes >get stuck doing grunt work during my scholarship >asked to organise all older samples >work really hard, label everything carefully, create easily searchable spreadsheet >think everything is fine >get call from other phd supervisor >"Yeah, you didn't parafilm any of the vials. That should be common sense and you shouldn't have to be told that. A lot of things spilled and many samples were found leaking and lost in the lab." >there's going to be a whole meeting on Wednesday to discuss what I did >including with the phd student who already hates me >really thought I was going to get into grad school with this person and be set for life
Somehow I'm not crying, but my hands are shaking abd I can hear my pulse in my head.
I never understood why some dumb people try so hard at life. I often hear my peers studying up for uni exams for literal weeks each and every day and many of them still barely pass. Doesn't your inner sense of work/reward ring its alarm bells? Putting all that work in without getting anything equivalent out? And then doing it again and again and again for God knows what? Sounds like literal torture.
wow OP why didn't do you something so apparently simple? are you dumb? or were you just anxious and made a stupid mistake like a pussy ass choke-artist?
Ryder Hall
Did you move all samples into new vials or something? If you were only asked to organize all samples, shouldn't they already have been wrapped in film and set? Why open them?
Elijah Morales
We all make mistakes, OP. I don't know the consequences of this particular mistake, or how this will affect you, but please don't beat yourself up over it. It won't make things any better.
Jason Martin
>getting nothing The thing is, I WAS getting returns. I went from academic probation to 3.0 because I got straight As. I got this insane national scholarship. I got to work with someone legendary.
And then fuck.
>simple I was never told. The supervisor said it was "common sense" and "how we do things" - but then why didn't the people themselves, these masters and doctoral students, do it already?
>dumb I'm pretty academically smart but VERY clumsy. Apparently this is typical of autists.
>anxious That was part of it.
When I was working, the phd student responsible for me would often tell me to buzz off so she could work.
So I'd want to be productive! I wanted to work 8 hours! I wanted to help this professor! So I did what they mentioned at the beginning of the year - clean things out and label them. Except no one told me how to do it.
What I did was transfer them from closets and cupboards - where they sat in racks - to laying loose in plastic bags that I placed in cardboard boxes. At the time, they were safe and only three or four out of 200 sets leaked.
Thanks user. I'm trying.
I asked the phd (nice one, who called) if she thought my future academically was "fucked", and she said no. She said it was a very serious mistake and that there would be a meeting where I'd probably be yelled at in front of everyone, but that "we can fix it and it will be fine". She told me that I could come in Monday and clean as much as possible before the meeting (lab's closed Tuesday and weekends).
Aaron Clark
>What I did was transfer them from closets and cupboards - where they sat in racks - to laying loose in plastic bags that I placed in cardboard boxes. At the time, they were safe and only three or four out of 200 sets leaked.
How were they sealed? Like the old style vial with a cork or a rubber plug on top?
Eli Roberts
Were any of them parafilmed? Had you ever encountered parafilm before? Parafilm is only used in labs for samples, and only for some kinds of containers. Further, things which are not obvious often appear obvious to people who are familiar with it. As a subordinate, it would be obviously wrong for you to perform any action not asked or expected of your superior, and if they had not made sure you knew what parafilm was, and was used for, there could be no reasonable expectation that you would use it. Since you are still only a student, how could you have known the full properties of the substances you were cataloging to know that they would be ruined without a parafilm? Parafilm is not a common item, so it cannot possibly be common sense. Lastly, you cataloged every item. If some items were lost, it could not have been due to a lack of parafilm. That doesn't make any sense. A lack of archival sealant does not explain an item not being where you left it. Plus, a lack of parafilm would not explain any container being left in a state you did not leave it in. It sounds like someone is trying to cover their ass. My guess is that someone either intentionally, but more likely accidentally, did sloppy labwork. They lost materials, spilled materials, and knocked over other containers. While the lack of parafilm contributed to the scope of damages, the damage itself was necessarily caused by someone else's recklessness. Additionally, I find it hard to imagine that you removed parafilm from every container, and did not replace it. Meaning that someone else had already not used it. The problems attributed to your mistake literally could not have been caused by your mistake. The only things parafilm would have prevented had nothing else been done to those containers would have been evaporation or oxygenation. Neither of those seems to have been the problem. You didn't do anything wrong, and you should spend your time trying to figure out who did.
Cameron Perry
No, they had plastic caps, but several were not tightened, apparently.
Christian Williams
Why were you opening the containers?
Evan Phillips
Funny how they were all devoid of parafilm from the start and not tightened properly and that's somehow been ok procedure
He just moved them tho
Eli Diaz
You were working extra to try and help. Be sorry for your mistake but make it clear you were never instructed to use parafilm or w/e and no one called you out on it all the time you were working, again working extra. Show your commitment, take blame but still assert lack of instruction and try to stress how you want to make up for it.
If things get dicey and the won't let it go, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to take legal steps. I've worked with plenty of dangerous machinery and all training course instructors are not allowed to assume "common sense" on any part of training or any role in the workplace, because it is too variable and non-specific. There's no reason why handling chemical samples or w/e should be any different.
I think you'll be ok though bud.
Colton Adams
Thank you for this indepth response, user. I think I'm secretly an extrovert, because talking with people like you makes me feel calm, but I'm a loser so Jow Forums are my only friends.
Anyway, to respond to you:
>were any of them parafilmed Yes, some. A minority.
>expected At the beginning, when I got the scholarship, the professor mentioned cleaning the lab if I had time. I think at some point the phd student (not the one who called) wanted me around her less and less. I attempted to keep myself busy, and told her I'd do what the professor said and start moving old samples away from the main lab area to free up space for everyone else. She said cool, whatever, and gave me no special instructions.
I worked with parafilm, but I never learned any hard and fast rule about it. I just assumed it was something you used when samples could get contaminated super easy, to keep the area around the threads cleaned. I had no idea I should be applying parafilm to every sample I put away.
>not being where you left it My guess is: >samples leaked after I set them horizontally, in the bags rather than upright in the racks OR >less careful people moved or dropped my boxes from the shelves, and the glas shattered
>cover their own ass These samples varied between some that turned out to belong to people still working, and samples from over a decade ago.
I think maybe they wanted me to tighten the caps and then add parafilm. But again, I just assumed that whoever owned these samples would have left them in a state where'd they'd be okay.
Grayson Hall
I wasn't opening them. I picked them out of the racks they were left in, and laid them down in seperate bags - one bag per plastic or styrofoam rack. I'm guessing the caps were already untight.
>procedure Yeah, some caps popped right off and I tightened them and made a note that "vial X has been contaminated via loose cap".
John Barnes
You fucked up. Sometimes samples require air so the cap will be loose.
Ian Nelson
I couldn't agree more. I've dicked around in an easy poli sci BA and gotten good grades with no effort and I even regret doing this much. Don't take life very serious. Who gives a damn?
Hudson Diaz
>Work for free >Make honest, beginner's mistake >Get fucked for it.
Sounds about right.
Sebastian Hernandez
Honestly OP, this doesn't really look like your fault at all. Some PhD guys might be a bit pissed off, sure, but it looks more like their fault for being neglectful and arrogant just because you were on a 'lower level' than them. It doesn't mean you're dumb. So don't sweat it too much.
Brody Lewis
>be okay bud Thank you so much user, your posts immediately have me feeling calmer.
>legal steps I don't think I want that. I just want to fit in, help this professor out (he saved me when another professor who I was supposed to do the scholarship wit was hospitalized), and get along. I hate to think I hurt people, damaged their publications, or disappointed him in any way.
I'm gonna follow your advice, user, to the T. Even the chick who called me said she felt a "lack of supervision" was a problem. I remember getting mad that the phd I was working for rarely explained things fully, and usually yelled at me.
Ryder Lee
Shit, that does make sense, but no one told me that was ever the case. Hell, I was even told specifically to cap everything tight, except bottled being heated.
>for free Well, I got slightly less than minimum wage.
Landon Nelson
So I'm clear--you left each container in the state you found it, except that you moved it and cataloged it?
Do you remember leaving any on their side?
And you were told only to organize these samples yes? Nothing else?
Honestly, this sounds as though you are working in a disorganized lab, and people with more seniority than you have been lazy and lacked diligence. While your actions may have initiated this sequence of events, the problems cannot be placed on you., as far as I can tell. But i'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm telling you this so that you will be prepared to defend yourself at this meeting. Most importantly, you need to be honest. That said, honesty does not mean opening yourself up to absurd chance. If you do not remember leaving any containers on their side, they instead of saying you may have, say that you did not. It's certainly possible that you did and forgot, but it is not reasonable.
Another point, though you probably shouldn't bring this up--being asked to clean up after your superiors does not teach you to be organized. It teaches you that someone else can be organized for you when you reach their position.
Remember--you are the subordinate. That means that most mishaps cannot be your responsibility, unless you did something so unusual, so unexpected, or completely against the direction of your superiors in a purposeful way. They should have been clear. If they were not clear, how could you have known better? You cannot know what you do not know; you cannot ask questions about things you have no reference for. The student who is so disinterested in your actions is there to watch over you. She was supposed to be paying attention. She should have caught this mistake and had you re-do it. If it's your ass or hers, make sure its hers. As a Phd student working in a lab, she has a greater responsibility than you. That means that most of your mistakes are her responsibility.
Oliver Gonzalez
>bit pissed off And that upsets me because (save the one phd student) all these people are really nice and don't deserve me doing that.
>lower level I worked in labs before, but it was always grinding soil samples or data entry. I never worked in a lab like this. Hell, I came from physics, not chemistry, so things like adding acid to water rather than the other way were things I learned by breathing in HCl.
>dumb Thanks user. That's very kind. I had pretty high self esteem after I got the award, but I started being really anxious after this one phd (not the one who called, the supervising one) yelled at me so much. She was really harsh.
Thanks for the post, it's appreciated.
Jackson Fisher
>moved it and catalogued it Bingo.
>on their side Yes, all of them, because I moved them from the upright rack position to being loose in a bag. I did this on the lab floor in front of two people regularly and occasionally the lab tech.
>told to organise Yep. I was told to organize and maybe some would be thrown away, but I had to make a list of everything first so the throw-away list could be checked.
>her responsibility Honestly, she was mean so I'm pretty okay with this.
>not to make me feel better >meeting Right. I'm gonna write a brief email and practice what you guys have said. This is awesome advice and you did make an impact for me.
Ethan Nelson
fuck them. they are just trying to divert their frustration onto you. they really should have told you. since it sounds like they're going to fuck you up, just appeal to the administrative level above them.
their fucking mistake. "obvious" to them. not to you. if they gave you a manual it is your fault, but if they just assumed then it's their fault
One question though, did the vials have NO cap on them? did you just leave them without any covering?
I hate lab work. So much precise bullshit. Don't touch this, don't breathe on that, what the fuck is growing in the broth now, etc.
Kevin Rodriguez
OP no mistake is terminal. You can bounce back from this. You have an excellent academic record on your side so all you have to do is graft.
Honestly I know it's dumb to say, but you should reassure yourself that all it's going to take for this mistake to be forgotten is a great slice of sincere humility in the meeting, and a concerted and focused effort to not make the mistake again. Even if it takes more work and more time.
Also, allow your professor for whatever may be said in this meeting or however mad he gets. He has both yours and his own professional interests in mind and you cannot really hold his anger against him. Just accept it and hold no grudges.
Anthony Roberts
jesus christ this thread is circlejerking too much op it will be fine i still want an update next week
Juan Bennett
>divert their I do think that my actions lost people's samples. After this thread, I feel that they should have ready been secured and I should have been stopped by any of the people who saw me doing this the half a month that I focused on it.
>going to fuck you up I don't think so. The nice phd who called me and never saw me at work said we could clean it up together Monday to fix it. The professor seemed...normal? when I bumped into him after this probably came to light - he didn't even mention it to me.
>manual Ha!
>covering They were capped but I guess not tightly enough.
>precise I liked it, but I struggled with that, too.
>bounce back I will keep trying! I thought I couldn't recover from probation but I did!
I am worried though as the professor is in charge of my final year thesis and one of my other classes.
>forgotten >more work Definitely! I am going to come in Monday and stay as long as I halve to to fix as much as I can.
>accept it Definitely. This man saved my ass before, I'm obliged.
Levi Gray
>jerk Honestly? I was in the middle of masturbating when she called and as soon as she said what happened my lips went numb and my genitals became the Sahara. I need a little hand action right now from my /boys/.
>update Can do.
Sebastian Cook
Good luck. If they were capped, I wouldn't have added parafilm. They should have told you
Wyatt Baker
Slight OP update. >phd who called said that the meeting was because of me >prof sent message about meeting at 8:43am >I had class with him at 9AM >he never mentioned it >he was actually smiley at me >few hours later >I stopped by for office hours >never mentioned it
Dylan Ortiz
Famalam...why do you not write up a checklist, if you're forgetful (klutzy) you cannot operate in this field without a written checklist journal that you update constantly through the day.
I don't want to say it's over but you better go pull him aside and show some water works
James Ward
Samefag. He actually mentioned another project to me.
>checklist Because I thought all I had to do was take them out, record the labels, put them in a bag, but the bag in the box, and pack the box away. I did this openly and at no point was I stopped and told this was wrong.
Bentley Sanchez
Dont give up just yet user. Looks to me like you cant handle pressure / stressful environments well. I'm the same way. If your current field is one that you really want to dedicate yourself to, you must relocate to a more appropriate environment or you'll never function at 100% efficiency.
