/depression/ general

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charcoal-burning_suicide
you really shouldn't do it though

yeah i was thinking about that one but i live in a apartment building with those gas detector everywhere and i dont want to end up with brain damage

Honestly I'm just so tired of thinking about doing it that I want to do it today. I also feel like I'm only fantasizing about it as way to not think of how I've truly fucked my life up till this point.

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How about jumping off the building itself or a balcony? I'm considering that if I pussy out of hanging myself on my door knob

There is so much sad fellow french fags on here :(

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It all started in August for me, this anxiety feeling which got worse last weekend and its leaving me numb and depressed now and anxious about the future. Every possible outlook seems scary to me. Most of the time anyways.

It comes and goes for me in episodes, sometimes I'll feel completely okay and like how I used to and it'll come out of nowhere, and I'll be pacing around the room like a mad man. Yesterday night I was been anxious over absolutely nothing, I couldn't think about what I was anxious over.

My sleep patterns fucked cause I've hardly slept and I've pretty much stopped eating.

you are like 40% muslum so I'd be sad too

I feel you about sleeping. I can only fall asleep if I'm dead tired so I sleep every second day now. Last night I barely slept because I kept thinking about ending it

the building it only 3 stories high and surounded by grass. i will end up with broken legs at best. i live in a small town with tiny building. i was thinking on going to montreal and sneak up on a tall skyscraper and use one of those glass breaker hammer to break a window and jump down.

>the building it only 3 stories high and surounded by grass

dive head first user

Me, 40mg a day HBU?

Getting a gun in Canacistan is not that hard, just requires patience

can someone explain the helium suicide meme to me? I thought the way to go was carbon monoxide inhalation

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Any non-oxygen gas is sufficient, as long as it doesn't make you cough.

Sorry, man. Working and socializing regularly got me out of my rut.

Whats the easiest painlessly way to do it?

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You can do it in a tent in the woods it works

I prefer fentanyl or sodium nitrite you can import easy sodium nitrite if it's not avabiale for u

2 depressed for this thread boiz, im sorry.

>Try to get into a hobby
>dont have my own shit so ask on a forum if anyone would take me with them
>get an almost copy and pasted reply back from someone that was looking for someone a month ago, but they still invite me to come over
>text them asking when they have time
>no reply

I recommend leaping off a building, hanging or jumping in front of a train. All pretty much have 100% success rate if you really want to succeed. If you're a burger getting a gun and shooting yourself in the brainstem is also a good method.
There are too many things that can go wrong when you try to suffocate yourself with gas, and often if something goes wrong you become a cripple or vegetable, it's too risky for my taste.

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I've tried hanging in the past but I pussied out before jumping, now I keep a rope in case I finally had enough courage to do it.
It just feels so fucking awful but I've made a list of things to do before dying.
Knowing that you're eventually going to die by your own hands it's somehow reassuring though.

>jumping in front of a train
Never EVER do this.
You're families would be submerged by debt.

The 1st 2 lines are bs. They're not 100% safe and you often don't die instantly. Also you're traumatizing innocent bystanders.

only in japan

They're 99% safe if you're not a retard and actually want to kill yourself. You just have to make sure nobody can stop you and take care you're doing it the right way.

I've done the same holding my .45 to my head just to see if I can get the angle right when it's showtime

>jump off bridge
>survive miraculously without major complications
>depression still comes and goes but becomes mostly manageable

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>At my mother's place and having a fucking cold.

Did it give you a new appreciacion for life?

Bloody hell you have to be in a really delusional depressed state to forget to attach the rope to something

Yep, the self doubt is probably the depression
It'll be mild depression though not severe

How high was the fall?

>it's another day where nothing happens and you still felt empty inside

Anybody wanna talk?

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For a little while, but I was also on a lot of pain medicine. I'm just not constantly miserable anymore to the point where I feel like I need a way out.

It was around 150 feet/45 meters.

Sending some postive vibes to my fellow robros.

youtube.com/watch?v=y7Q0K1NkZXk

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>>jump off bridge
>>survive miraculously without major complications
Nigger what. is that even possible?

Audibly kekd.
>go for a walk, intended to buy liquor
>local liquor store is closed today
>return disappointed
>it's going to be a long day
Likewise. Sorry I can't contribute. But let's keep the thread alive. Shall we?

Just coming to the realization in my thirties that my life will never get better and I'm stuck in a shitty job that has no bonuses, promotions, raises, overtime and is min wage with no end in sight. Why live?

how do I Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

i'm here for you if you want to talk about anything, i'm too bored and i don't have frens

what do you think of Ted Kaczynski?

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I feel you, I've been through the same.

I think he was pretty spot on on libtards and oppressing women and stigmatising them was necessary. Look at the way western civilisation is crumbling.
Industrial society was a good read and I agree with his view in going back to the hunter gathering style but then we have to give up tech. Can we reach middle ground by practising moderate use of tech?

My family dragged me to home depot with them. They're going to burger king to get me tendies.
Im gonna eat, go home, smoke salvia and chill

>Can we reach middle ground by practising moderate use of tech?
I think not. Humans are greedy, jealous and arrogants. Our nature is our doom.

I've been suicidal since I was 15. I am 27 now and it's getting harder every year

Im only 19 and already using drugs to cope, the only time I'm happy is when I'm high or tripping.
What do?

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18 year old weedfag here, i can relate.

Weeds good, but my favorite cope is shrooms, I feel so damn good when tripping and even feel a lot more happy a few days afterwards.

I'm not letting myself do any drug harder than weed or shrooms because I know I'll get addicted to it

who here /chronicpain/?
it's terrible, and the last straw for me.

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Anyone know where a britbot could get a cheap source of 100% helium? Should I be wary of baloon tanks from amazon?

Broke my fucking kneecap in a car accident, my doc gave me basic bitch percocet for like, 2 weeks. Now he has me on 800mg ibuprofin and its terrible, i get no relief from it.
Never wanted to buy drugs online but Im starting to look at research chemicals

does it work
obviously not because you're still here

I survived a suicide attempt 3 years ago and moved on.
I got a nice cat and he's sleeping on my lap, kinda makes me feel better.

I recently discovered that my depression is more or less caused by fucked up shit that my parents done to me when I was little, well, they killed my dog in front of me when I was 2 and I also have a very blurry memory of an abuse and drowning.
I think my lack of ability to create loving bonds with my parents (specially my father) has developed into inhability to create heatly relationships with people based on love and not onto fear o power.

Nowadays I got some friends but I'm too scared to leave my house.

Everyday I wake up wanting to hang myself but I guess I can just move on, maybe try to see what happens next until I can hold it no longer.

I've had colitis since I was young. There never goes a day when I'm not in constant stomach pain, and there is nothing I can do. I feel like crying but I can't because if I cry I won't be able to stop.

minor depression checking in

yeah, let's talk
Drop your data

zoloft origignia

>I survived a suicide attempt 3 years ago and moved on
Story? What happened?

I've reached an impasse. There are three options ahead: psych ward, ditching it all and moving somewhere with nothing, or suicide.

>Should I be wary of baloon tanks from amazon?
Yeah, those are rarely 100% helium.
Some time ago a guy here on Jow Forums ordered helium tanks for industrial use and he's no longer with us so I guess you can still find them.

at least try one of the first two before suicide man
it's always there but there's always a chance something will work
realise that sounds pretty empty.

I've been diagnosed with depression for a long time now, along with some other shit like OCD, but now I don't know what the fuck is going on.
I've been fighting against my own thoughts right now. They keep contradicting each other and it feels like another person is in my head just arguing with me, telling me shit.
Sometimes I don't even feel like myself, like that other personality has taken control of me, and it's such an odd fucking experience. I don't know if I developed some other mental illness, but I might as well go get diagnosed at this point.

That is my intention. The issue is that the psych ward would require me to make threats, perhaps. I'm also delusional.

Thanks bud. I've heard welding helium is the way to go.

On a side note, it annoys me how guides like this one never mention how pure the helium needs to be.

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desu even if you don't get diagnosed with something talking to someone about it and intending to be honest about your state of mind rather than keeping up appearances could be valuable

threats about yourself or other people? depends where you live etc. i guess what the conditions are to get into proper care. usually long waiting lists wherever and desu the only people i know who've been into psych have hurt themselves or other people. game the system if that's what you need but being honest with whatever professionals you can see could help

>living alone in a city
>had a really shit underpaid job
>depression starts consuming me, only going out for work
>start taking pills
>feeling really lonely, few friends but no actual relationship more than spending some time talking about music
>my relationships with women are shit, I always end up hurting people
>also that group of friends was insanely competiive
>dating this weird girl

>feeling really hopeless, dropped every study I've been in
>spent lots of days just staying in bed

>one day fed up and took all pills i had
>cutted arm and neck
>pass out in bed

>next I remember is riding into the ambulance, going to the hospital
>then my memory blacks out, having some blurry memories of that week
>family sents me to a psych institution
>been there 2 weeks
>awful experience, never had any professionals with me, they just kept us locked up and drugged
>went out, spent some time with my parents and then went back living alone

>months passed, met a nice girl, started dating, living together
>stopped taking pills
>sometimes I still had depressive symptoms, like violent attacks or staying in bed all day
>started psychotherapy
>really starting finding out why I'm like this
>girl from past I've hurted makes a post about it on facebook
>more people start talking about it
>all friends left me
>gf still living with me but not in a relationship anymore
>scared to go outside

that's my story

>months passed, met a nice girl,
Hold up. A girl doesn't just fall out of the sky. We need details here, how did you find someone who cared about you? Not saying you shouldn't but all of us here are screwed because of this and we need help with this.

>be me
>16 y/o
>go to private school, wealthy family
>have best friend, smart kid, sort of know it all sometimes, but really kind
>one day he doesn't go to school
>doesn't come to school for rest of week
>doesn't come to school for the last two months of the year
>parents visit my home
>ask if anyone was bad to him at school
>everything was fine, ask what he is sick with
>apparently he has depression/anxiety
>stays in bed
>next year
>he is at school again
>still good friends, but with divide not quite the same
>when people ask what happened, he just says sick
>after a few weeks, stops going to school again
>doesn't come back this time
>hear he goes to different school
>1 year later
>i am a more cynical person now
>don't trust other kids
>become really depressed all the time
>decide to end it
>try to drink ice fluid in garage
>tastes really sweet then burns
>cut wrists right after
>black out
>feel myself rocking
>can't move hands
>"Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that imperial ambush."

I really don't know, I used to spend some time on facebook and just talked to her in a friendly way, talked a lot about art and stuff, met regularly and started dating.
I feel really comfortable with her and she feels the same, I really don't know what's the exact science around that.

On a side note I know most of you guys think the struggle ends when finding a girl who cares about you but let me tell you it doesn't, I'm learning the hard way that one must overcome this shitty asumption that one is a better person as the more pussy it harvests, leave that shit. If you feel screwed because girls don't feel atracted to you somehow, try to think what makes you feel like that in the first place.
Relationships with women that are born into this belief that they will save your life end up like shit and making you feel worse than before.

thanks for sharing your story user. i have nothing but cliches to offer you but try and accept yourself - all anyone can do at any one moment is content with who they are now and who they have been before. we've all hurt people somehow whether we knew it or not and accepting that and being honest about who you are is the only way forward. believe that you are moving forward!

thanks for your words user,
It's really hard to overcome the fact that all friends and people I respected now hate me because of my past. It's really painful but I'm trying to move on, accept and forgive myself and maybe move into another city.

I understand the second paragraph, but I disagree. For a lot of us, the complete loneliness we face over the rest of the 50+ years we have left to live is the issue. Not the lack of sex, but the lack of human connection. I work a job where people are nice to me but I can never consider any of them a friend and definitely could never date anyone. I have in all sense of the word "made it" but I am still as alone as I was when is started

Also thanks for replying to me. I've replied ITT to like 3 others and posted my own stuff but no one responded to me until you did. It made me feel a little better and I appreciate the time you took to write that

>work at investment bank
>early mornings. people are nice but im just not happy
>paying off student debt
>after that im going to save for a cabin
>im going to move into the wilderness in a tiny comfy cabin in a few years away from society

literally the only thing keeping me going in this fantasy.

Problem is, I HAVE to keep up with my appearances, or at least I think so. I've been like this since childhood.

I understand. The point I'm trying to reach here is that maybe the lack of human connection isn't because people who won't want to be friends with you but because you want to be alone somehow, or better said, have some impediment on connecting with people that you have to know and work out.
If your struggle is human connection, you have to find out what makes you feel disconnected in the first place: why you won't make friends with these co-wokers? do you try to connect with people on other places?

why bother with a cabin when you can convert a van for less and live anywhere you want?

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To keep myself with something to do I wrote a bucket list, but I'm afraid I'm going to kill myself anyway.
I tend to not care about anything once I'm having a breakdown.
I haven't been diagnosed or even ever went to see a specialist, I'm afraid that as soon as I mention anything about me they're going to send me to the ward.

I want some space. I want a shower and bathroom and a fireplace.

I live in Canada. too cold to sleep in a van during winter.

For me I think it's the issue of cost of transportation and the distance. I work far away from where I live, and far away from those at work. And the people at work aren't friends because they live different lives. They have families of their own, do different things, hang out with different people. I don't feel I have an issue with connect with people, I'm very open, but I have an issue with people seeing me as anything more than just some guy who's nice to people. I don't really do anything else other than work anyway, work takes up most of my time.

you're very welcome. it sounds like you're on a good path but it will be difficult on the way up. i've found writing things down when you feel better about yourself can help when you're in lower moments. helps to recognise that there will always be ups and downs and any bad moment doesn't mean everything is going downhill

i can understand that. family and other forced social situations like school can exacerbate a kind of schism between your private and public self. have you read the divided self? maybe a bit pop psych but i found it helped in understanding how that state of mind can develop due to external factors

don't you have some hobbies or anything? You can try to do something else that working, it doesnt have to take a lot of time from you, and then getting into circles of people who share that hobby.

I've been a lot into music, in bands and stuff, and it helped me a lot to connect with people. it takes some time though.

fair enough.

what would you do for water/electricity and internet? a secluded cabin that has those is bound to be very expensive. I'm curious because I share a similar goal.

No, I don't do anything when off work other than post here. I've been asked the same question by different people, about hobbies. I don't find anything fun or interesting. If I had a choice I wouldn't stop working. I want nothing more than to be able to just go back to sleep every Saturday and Sunday morning to just move time along faster. Long weekends are tough for me because there's only so long I can sit alone here. I really am addicted to work

Never heard of it, but I'll look it up. Thanks for the recommendation.

remember staying in a psych ward isn't the end. it can be a stage before a better time.

no worries :)

I understand, it's really hard the way you put it but I believe you can do some things to stop this work addiction cycle.
Have you ever considered therapy?
Maybe getting a pet can help.

I plan to daytrade so I need internet. But cabins aren't incredibly expensive where I live. plus the province is covered with lakes. 70k CDN will be more than enough.

I will garden, hunt, and fish. Property tax and utilities will be my only real expenses.