/britfeel/

you know when a snake swallows a cow? that's how big my knob is lads

no, you have to suffer like everyone else im afraid.

why not just say its as big as a cow?

because I've got a long foreskin which is like the snake's head, and then the penis is like a cow

Virgo here.

Guess I was destined to be a virgin.

cor!
bloody lush

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Still plenty of time to lose it lad

snakes cant swallow whole cows though lad, your penis is imossible

...I-i'm cancer, does that mean I'm destined to...

I can feel my arteries hardening just looking at it.

>arsepained about virginity
Try being literally cancer

waheey lad 1st July here when's your birthday?

HAHA you think i'm kidding you? don't fucking lie to me

yep, you're going to turn into a crab
lucky bugger

alright then like a deer or something. what's the biggest thing a snake can eat

probably two horses or a minibus

the biggest thing a snake can eat is your mum

I can go for that tbqh. free me from this human prison.

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what do comfy libra lads turn into?

Fuck knows, kind of a shite star sign since its an inanimate object. Might turn into a pseudo wizard next October though if im lucky

*squares up to the entire thread while this is playing in the back ground*

youtube.com/watch?v=E3olE6bHjBw

who wants it then ?

>pseudo wizard
explain?

shippy you absolute mad cunt

banburyguardian.co.uk/news/transport/night-time-train-noise-deprives-banbury-residents-of-sleep-1-8651088

I stupidly lost my virginity so can never become a true wizard, cry into my pillow thinking about what could have been

Shippy doesn't drive a train.

Joby Mullens what a name

only gone and ordered a new birth certificate haven't I
mental haha

4th of July
>if I was a yank there'd always be a party on my birthday

Didn't go to college today (fucking 9 in the morning too early) feel guilty

wheeeey let's have a party on the 2/3rd next year to celebrate

>having to be somewhere at 9 in the morning

dont feel guilty lad, ive not been anywhere at that time (except in bed) for years now

what is Britains official independence day?

>Tfw the only lad in my uni seminar

it was awkward

you should be banging mad vag

The few attractive girls are typical stacies that say fuck all and just sit there looking pretty

Psychology?

original comment............

Independence from who?

I have no idea what I want to study or have as a career. I was thinking biology but idk. I'm 20 now so I need to do something soon

Just work in a warehouse lad, easy

criminology. ikb4 meme degree, yes, i'm aware.

Based, I miss being a neet sometimes

Cakes are in the oven. Give 'er a good 20 minutes and should be about done. Then it's just waiting for them to cool and ice.

ITT smelly neets compare star signs

Can you write britfeel in the icing?

Alright lad
See you here in 9 months
How was your burfday this year

do you get any welfare for antisocial personality disorder if i got diagnosed?

Are you bent, lad?

What went wrong in the 90s?

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Dont talk to fruit lad like that

Antisocial? No. Are you sure you know what that is?

jokes on you, i'm a smelly wagie
stay mad starsignlet

you missed out the next 2 works lad..

get yer cakes out for the lads, wahey

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I can sure as hell try
rude
thank
It was pretty good. I went to a board game cafe and spent all day playing Arkham Horror. Quarter century next year though D: how about you?

mental even with minimum wage it didn't match up

it's a mystery isn't it lad

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Do you know what an antisocial PD is? You generally get a diagnosis when you get the asbo.

the only time a girl has shown interest in me was back at school when a girl started rubbing my leg when we were on the bus. but that might have been a joke though

Cant wait to meet a nice girl and get married lads

29 March lad wahey

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*technically* it's a tart
ooooooooooh

Is it worth going to the Jobcentre lads? Will they help me find a job at least somewhat related to what I want to go into or will they just give me some fast food job

>Jobcentre
>Helping

lol

the only time a girl has shown interest in me was in year 4 and she said I had nice eyelashes and started touching them

nah lad they just exist to keep people off benefits, they dont actually help you get a job. a good course of action is to keep busy with volunteering and gain skills related to what you want to go into.

So the correct response would have been to cut them off and post them to her, desu you still could and I definitely would do that

Make sure you get a prenup

>tfw "summer job" might last to december

Getting too cold and dark in the mornings for this shit desu

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you the lad from yesterday? lol

You the one who started his summer job at the end of August?

Hard to believe this website is 15 years old yet I've only been on here for less than 6 years, feel like a newfag

>tfw born on the cusp of pisces and aries

Nope, just don't want another britfeel lad getting fucked over

No lad around the start of April

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Yeah dont want my spouse to take my xbox and ancient think station, fucking thief

You -are- a newfag.

As if anyone here has any money/possessions to warrant a pre-nup
Also you shouldn't be getting married if you can't trust that person with everything you own.

Fair play lid, what's it doing?
Think of the dollah$$$$

What does it mean when it's saying the page this thread is on is ?
I've never seen that before...or I've never noticed it at the very least.

SeeI fancy going on one of those reality tv dating programmes. First I thought dinner date, but Ive since discovered married at first sight so she cant escape and I dont have to compete with other lads

If it's pushed off page 10 the thread is deleted.

Ha, glad we had the same idea re prenup.
reality dating show would definitely be an awful idea though. Almost guaranteed to fail.

want a mad romance me tbqh lads, a proper mad one, tellin ya, need it me.

Walking around not feeling anything, not caring must be it lad?

I know that, but at the bottom of this page it says
91/8/25/?
and I've never seen it have ? for the page number before, looking at the catalogue we're on page 2 or something

any suicide attempt survivors here

Ayyyyyyy what's happening fellas?

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What makes you say that? Ive got a lot to offer a lady fren? I suppose id have to stop spending 16 hours a day sitting on Jow Forums refreshing britfeel. Ill leave her a sausage roll on her pillow every morning and cook her an aphrodisiac Bombay bad boy pot noodle every night with mothers pride bread crotuns

Quarter century this year
Pretty shit
I spent all day being a wagie then went out for a meal with my family at a new restaurant
The food was really good but my dad stormed out and went and got pissed on his own and nobody saw him again for the night
You could see mum and me bruv trying to keep it together and act like nothing happened but he dropped a big shit on an already not great day and then nobody ever talked about it again

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Yes yes when I was 15 I was really angry at my mum so I held my head under water in the sink for quite a long time