So this are my last 7 days with internet... the 8th is going to be cut down because i will have no more money to pay

I feel even death won't be an escape from this and it will lead to even more suffering but I'll probably do it regardless. I forgot how to cry, I'm numb to everything.

Being a virgin is my only value

you are a virgin? i remember when i was 14 or so, i thought sex would be so great...

I cant even have sex with a dick my side, woman dont even fell it inside, every position i use my dick always find a way to get outside... it cant stay in.

I cant fuck doggy style for example because my dick is so small it wont be long enough to penetrate fomr behind. Another example i have is when i had a girl above me she CANT MOVE, because the dick just slips outside. Girl cant suck my dick because for them is like i dunno... sucking a boy dick i have been told once, and is "weird".

So i would prefer that i never knew what sex was. For me sex was a nightmare.

do you want to become my psychopath apprentice? We'll have fun, go on a killing spree and all of that

no energy for that... i just want to die. you seem to have too much thrive to understand how much i just want to die. Who cares about killing people? that is for people that are still attached to the world.

but you're too much of a pussy to do so.

I'm 30, will turn 31 in January. At least you got laid, I didn't. I'm not very tall either, can grow a beard, but I lost a lot of hair due to stress, alcohol abuse, bad sleep, and fapping.
I also tried college, degrees like biotechnology, information systems, IT, but failed on everything due to colleges, not only being dodgy (public UNI and CC are free where I live but they have a lot of problems as a result) and me because I lack motivation. My job is a dead end, I'm pretty much a slave at my father's shop.
I have a couple of guns, but I don't even go to the range anymore. Probably gonna off myself before turning 31. Either that, or sell everything I have , including the guns and hang myself.

you watch to much movies.

you own a gun? if i had a gun i would have probably shoot myself already lot of years ago...

I am scared of shooting myself bad you know? i would only shoot myself with a shotgun or a high caliber rifle, but i never seen such thing in my life..

If i where you i would have shoot me already, i dunno, drink myself, take some pills, go to a brige sit and shoot myself in the direction of falling just to be sure..You are a lucky guy to have guns...

No, I think that is you, if you suggest that killing yourself is easy. Your human nature opposes it. A man who hasn't done anything throughout his life, never taken any risks, will never be able to kill himself.

again to many movies. keep it simple, you hate humans, i just don't want to live, i think that i am a great guy actually... i just don't have energy no more, or reasons to live... what is next? i will end up living under a bridge is that the next level? no thanks... i am finishing this soon, check the news on a Bolivian that used a grenade in a bridge and think that was me writing to you right now... i think in a week from now.

I will sleep now... that's the only thing i like doing lately.

I am not even into anime and that image makes me sad

I think it's important to note that he was a bolivian, which probably wasn't a NEET. For us NEETS it's something quite different; seeing as how we've been locked up by ourselves for several years with nothing to do but entertain our consciousness. We're frail and weak; the instinctual nature of the latin american is so far fetched from us.

I tried killing myself as well, but i couldn't even cut my veins before bawling my eyes out.

but of course, if you think you have what it takes to kys, then be my guest.

Same user. I own 3 handguns, a .22lr, a 9mm and a .45. I really want to blast my head with both the 9mm and .45 so I make sure I don't survive, but that would be stain for the reputation of legal gun owners from my country. I don't want to betray them by commiting suicide with a firearm. I rather sell them, send the money to a pro-gun association and then off myself by hanging, pill, alcohol, or a mix of the 3. I don't want to feed the anti-gun bunch or give pro-gunners a bad name.
It sucks not being able to off yourself in the most efficient way without leaving repercussions.

I'm 37. Earn 77k a year. Am married to an attractive woman.

I think about suicide every single day of my life, and only the overwhelming guilt stops me from doing it. I fantasize about my wife leaving me and my parents dying so I can kill myself. I dunno what to tell you man. I'm a normie and all I want to do is die or be completely alone. I think everyone feels this way. We all just stay alive because we hope it will get better. But it won't.

I dont know if this is the right thing to say here, but ill do anyway. Im 16 and live in a nice house in Germany, I go to School everyday and have friends. Yet I have suicidle thoughts and murder fantasies. My Mom keeps drinking and yelling at me and I just cant take it anymore. I really want to kill myself and/or thers. I dont know, if it is my youth or if im just a crybay, but I was really close a few times. Im sorry, that I dont have such experience like you people but still, im just so angry and tired

you should go ahead and kill your mother. Free yourself from the shackles she has imposed on you, it will be like a fresh breeze

You can just make a can antenna and get free internet like all the Russki do

I dont know. I know, shes abusive and stuff, but I would just feel guilty. My Father is cold and doesnt see me as his son, but still I dont want to disappoint him. I really want to murder somebody. Why am I like this?

You're venting out your anger in the wrong way. Just admit you're hurt and let yourself cry a little bit

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You'd be surprised by how common it is for a man to want to kill his parents. The repercussions are always hard to deal with but the question should really be: what is best for me? if it's not killing your parents, you should at least strongly consider moving out before you become completely submissed by them

Know what's worse kiddo? Having a normal, if not dull, childhood, average teenage days (didn't really cared about getting laid back then), peaceful days in general, only to enter adulthood and, not only failing academically, but also learning that your parents are two lying bastards that should have divorced long time ago, they never really cared for you, they just hid their shite, only cared for their money and pretended that we were a solid family.
After a particularly shitty quarrel between my parents that ended up in nothing, I just dropped out college, went need and hikkikomori for good 2-3 years, met some friends retook studies, then until my asshole father forced me to work for him, and I had to drop out studies, again, because I couldn't attend to classes, or have enough time to study in peace. Oh, my mother is a crazy bitch that condones all that, despite my father being a cheating bastard that almost went to jail due to almost killing the woman he had an affair with. My mother bailed him out, wasted lot of money on an attorney for that. My life is a living hell since then. I can't just run out from my house, and getting a better job is extremely hard ATM, they are firing people rather than recrouting new blood.

I dont think my mother would let me, here in germany you can only move out alone at age 18, the only thing I could do, is to sleep a a help facility. Maybe I should just endure it for 2 more years. I just dont know

I would detonate the grenade inside a bus

But you could just move away, to another state or so, right? You can leave it all behind you and start going to a community college. Just steal their money and off you go

how small are you exactly? like 2 inches? or are you around the average size of 5.5 and just dramatizing

I got carried away. What I wanted to say to you is that you don't need to put up with that bullshit for too long like I did. You at least are young and know that your parents suck from the get go. Just finish high school, get a job, or do a short degree, but don't spend more than 3 years on training, and then if you have stable job, get the fuck out of your parents house. If they really want to see you afterwards, and with no intent of asking for money or anything like that, then it means that they actually love you and just were insensible. The human starts valuing something only when they lost it, or so sayeth.

You're going to lose a lot in those two years.

>i barely have strength to eat, i don't feed my dogs anymore
me and you bro... I am the same.
vefore you kill yourself, givei t a week and try some SSRI bro, trust me it may work.

Thanks for the encouragement, I was planning something like that too, I think Im just going to ignore them and if my mother hits me again, I just smash her damn skull in

Sadly, I'm not for US or any, more or less, stable First World country. I'm from South America and things are pretty rough down here. My father might be exploiting me, but at least I earn money, and our currency is losing its value with each passing day, and I'm not jesting.
I'm saving enough just to be able to not need the shitty job, so I can pay for all my expenses. If there's one, sort-of-good, thing in my country, is that public UNIs and CCs are free.
The problem is that my parents dont' allow me to quit the job, they force me to do it with the excuse of "I won't maintain a lazy bastard that spends his free time playing games and drinking".
If they left me be, I quit the heavy drinking and all the bullshit and really start studying good. If I get a part time job in the meantime, that still lives me time for studying, the better.
Right not, my hands are tied.

Here's what you need to do:
>give your dogs away
>sell/give away all the shit you don't need in daily life
>bring your apartment to a usable state
>sell it
>buy grenade
>give the rest of the money to a cause or your dad
>the night you move out write a suicide note and blow your brains out in the forest as to not disturb anyone
the 'good person' thing to do would probably be trying to convince you not to kys, but we both know it's no use.
Godspeed, OP

Wow. That really sucks. I dont want this to sound depressing, but I wouldnt know what to do in this situation either. I hope your situation gets better and dont loose hope, Im praying for you :)

look robros if I joined the military and got my shit in place when everyone of my normalfag friends ditched me just become a engineer and the gov will provide free food and shit

Is this really a thing wtf

Yep, it sucks. If this happened 15 years ago when I was still in high-school, it wouldn't have been that bad, on the contrary, it would have gave me enough motivation to get a job of my own or chose a shorter, more specific degree, and then get a job. Economy was also not as fucked back then. I just feel that I lost that train.
Right now, if you don't have training and/or work experience, or are a single mother/father, or an inmigrant, you are doomed to be unemployed.
Yes, inmigrants down here, even if they came ilegally to our country, are prioritized when a company is selecting new personnel.
Also, I can't receive neetbux, or a scholarship or even a bloody discount for bus travels, because my parents earn too much. Realistically, I don't need a job, but they just too selfish to let me quit and study something in peace.

You could join a monk temple. Bolivia has some Buddhist ones. If you meditate and practice breath elongation for 6 months, the breath will comfortably slow down to 90 seconds long and it will become easy to perform samyama (a process of attention, concentration, and meditation into samadhi). If you perform samyama on the kurma nadi, located above where the rib cage meets and just below the pit of the throat, you will find the source of breath that ties you to your body and can undo it to leave the body peacefully.

Some people, but not all, that kill themselves by breaking the body often live through many unsuccessful lifetimes killing themselves repeatedly because they failed to really die. Their intense desire to die affects their new life and causes them to commit suicide again. Until our karma completely dissolves we are trapped by the cycle of rebirth but most people's lives generate much more karma than they ever completed. Samyama allows one to rapidly dissolve the karma already in play and burn up the seeds of stored karma not in action yet. If you master it you can consciously choose a better life for yourself and eventually break free from the cycle of rebirth itself.

I'm sorry op, I understand, I have no natural motivation to live, but I must. Its conflicting. I once had my environment and life changed but it was temporary and I had no choice but to stay quiet.

You can only help yourself, I'm sorry. I don't like it either. Not everyone can live happily ever after

you really believe that? you stupid user.

user if you get a grenade and want to blow it up, dont do it in public

dont punish others for the fact you're a pathetic sack of shit

Get a fucking job man

feed your fucking dogs, you shit stain

Being and fat and doing drugs isn't helping user.

I'm a 30 yo boomer living in the third world too, I hate life and all its little hassles but quitting drugs and getting into weights and boxing has helped a lot.

You have access to public libraries. You'll be blessed without Internet.

>I tried
>it failed
Try more, you fucking faggot. Keep trying. That's what people do. Never give up. And if you kill yourself, you'll going to regret it deeply. This is not the way out. You'll have no peace as you are imagining.

There are no regrets after you're dead. You don't exist. It will be like before you were born.

what does it mean when I'm more concerned about dogs than op
it's a dilemma. I want bad shit to happen to op because it's animal cruelty but on the other hand I know his dogs love him and wish he could get money to feed them, although I'm pretty sure the first thing he'd spend his money with is drugs and internet

dying of hunger is sad but this is Jow Forums and everything is a work of fiction
goodbye

well, first off why did you go to programmings school if you cant do maths?

1. you probably aren't a retard. maybe you just learn differently. it happens. take a test into your learning style and adapt to it
2. persevere. your self confidence means you are giving up on everything. stop
3. you seem to care about people worrying about them cleaning your room etcetera. so try and find a job where you work with people everyday. try to see the good in them. this might be the most fulfilling path for you.
4. understand you are not worthless. moreover, it's like you are born again. no real family means that you can do whatever you want. build your life again, and move out of bolivia to somewhere you like more.

there is a future. plan for it

also FEED YOUR DOGS. THEY WOULD DIE FOR YOU.

Why don't you sell all your possessions and go to a third world country where you can exchange your currency for a lot of money. I mean whats there to lose if you're planning on killing yourself?

Yea but if you do end it all whos gonna feed yer dogs?