Cringey/horrifying childhood memories thread?
>5th grade
>Inspection Day in PE
>we're all lined up against the wall
>my turn
>drop my pants
>he looks at me
>he looks at my progress pics from the last few years
>back at me
>back at the pics
>"You've shrunk."
>other kids snicker
>he shows me some exercises to do to help
>takes this years pic
>kids call me "Tiny Tim" for the rest of the year
back when I was in middle school I was always fucking hungry. I would go around asking people if they could spare some food. Ended up eating from the trash. Life was pretty good actually.
god, inspection day was always the worst
i always tried to skip school that day but they always made me make it up after school
He could have been talking about your weight
>penis inspection
For real?
i'm so glad i'm not in school anymore and don't have to do that shit.
now i just have to worry about finding someone to go the movies with me all the time since they don't allow people to go in alone anymore.
I suppose, but the exercises he showed me where with my dick.
>be me
>8th grade
>forget about upcoming penis inspection day
>decide not to shower that day
>had been up fapping the night before
>everyone lined up
>panicking trying to figure a way out because my penis is dirty
>don't drop my pants when am supposed to
>'user stop messing around I need to complete the inspection!;
>don't know what to say
>end up taking my into the office for a private consultation
>is obviously disgusted by the smell
>takes me to the sink to show me different techniques for proper penis hygiene even though I just decided not to shower that day
>other kids start a rumour that I have a vagina and that is why I wouldn't pull my pants down
>Americans have penis inspection days
what the hell?
i was homeschooled by my mother. my father was actually on the school board (there were really stupid arguments at home sometimes) and she found out from him about how successful their districts inspection program was so she wanted to start it for me.
she thought it would be too weird though but luckily her brother volunteered to do my inspections.
since i was on a weird homeschool schedule, my inspection day was once a month. my uncle may be a weird guy but he was always responsible, always there on time for inspection day.
>That one kid who wasn't circumcised and ended up being called Ant Eater Dick until he moved away
Do you not? How do you know if you're developing properly or if there's something wrong?
My PE teacher told us we had the best program in the state. He'd take pictures every Inspection Day, write helpful and encouraging notes on them, and at the end of 5th grade (you go to a different school for 6th grade) he showed us the pictures and how we did over the years. It was really comforting knowing where you stood with something that taboo that you can't talk about openly.
>fucking inspection day on second day of high school
>had not been fapping because I bet they can tell and embarrass you
>gym teacher lines us up in the storage closet
>alright my turn to drop em
>he starts squeezing balls and prostate exam like normal
>user your foreskin is so tight I think that's phimosis
>huh
>no problem though simply pull it back over time. here I'll show you
>starts tugging on the head
>instantly dick gets hard
>everyone is looking. i'm cherry red
>i back off and pull up my shorts
>everyone laughing lol user gay!!!
>teacher made me finish the exam in three other sessions and said had to redo the prostate one too idk
FUCK those days.
> penis inspection at school
This cant be real, your all lying how the fuck can your parents allow Some 40 yr person checking your dick
What kind of fucked up third world country do you live in that doesn't take care of their youths genitals?
have you never had inspection day user?
One without institutionalized child abuse WTF??!!??
So going to the doctor is abuse? Or any physical for that matter? Maybe you should stop sexualizing children you fucking weirdo.
>fourth day of 7th grade
>new kid shows up that day, late sign up
>nobody knows him
>short skelly guy with a big head, really pale
>Health teacher tells us today is inspections
>not too worried because i already had a few pubes and thought that was good progress
>new kid has to go before i do
>teacher asks him to lower his sweatpants
>the whole room goes silent as we all stare at his short but very girthy and very red penis
>that one kid at the end of the line suddenly yells
>>BRICK DICK!!!!!
>everyone bursts into laughter and yelling BRICK DICK
>new kid runs out of the Health class while trying to pull his pants up
>didn't see him back until the next week
>everyone called him BrickDick for months until his family moved
Be me on a school trip up north of England, all the lads in my room think it was funny to lock me in the room with all of them even though i needed a shit, they wouldnt let me go to shit which was pretty banta and i shit myself, they then pull my pants down and then rest was history, was called spongebob shittypants until they forgot. Lives with me to his day.
Had a few kids get hard when getting inspected over the years, they never live the rumors down about being gay. Glad I never did.
wtf is "penis inspection" you have that in the us?
Every year up until graduating from high school user. Some schools only do it up until the end of middle school.
user...I think you were molested by your PE teacher
Inspection? What is that?
What the fuck. That's fucking pedophilic. Are you fucking with me? Why would they do that
Why do they do this in a fucking line where everyone can see your dick? So fucking weird, kinda shit you'd expect to here of in Pakistan not America.
Why don't you? It's important to ensure kids are washing properly.
>Didn't have penis inspection
This was practically unheard of in my area. The teachers had to make sure our genitals were developing properly. If we skipped, we weren't allowed to graduate.
A random day that all the boys in the school are brought to the gym/cafeteria/medical bay or where and lined up to have their junk inspected for any abnormalities. Usually it's done by PE teachers or nurses.
For the health of the children? Why would anyone consider something akin to a physical exam pedophilic?
I live in The Netherlands, a country in Europe, parents are supposed to help you with your body when your younger, not the school you idiot,Nah shits nasty, my mom would never accept that
What's up with people not having inspection day? Don't you realize it's important to learn to take care of your genitals. My janitor did the inspections. It felt kinda weird to do it in the storage room but you got used to it
>4th grade
>at recess hanging around near the sand pit
>asshole kid who knows my crush comes up and pressures me into talking with her
>i keep refusing
>he ends up literally shoving me into her as she walks by
>i have to explain the situation, including me having a 4th grade crush on her
>she moved to another school during 5th grade
fuck you, dustin, I still remember that shit
you Guys do realise one the people inspecting had to be a pedo right? Like im a100% sure one of them was a pedo
I don't understand why countries outside the U.S. don't have inspection day. Do they not care about their youth?
I don't know about the line thing, I assume it's to save time. They call each grade individually so it's not like the entire school saw your wang. How is this any different than being in a locker room?
>my mom would never accept that
thats the point user, most parents would have an issue with inspecting their sons penis regularly, thats why the school does it
Why are Europeans so weirded out by the idea? Aren't you guys supposed to be more comfortable with nudity? It's someone you trust making sure you're developing properly. It's like a doctor's exam.
never knew that, i dont think they have that in my country. although i wouldnt know because i was in special ed and cant remember anything from childhood. i have trouble remembering last week
seriously, they have tits on prime time tv hours and socialist healthcare but they don't have penis inspections at school wtf?
anyone else have trouble remembering stuff? like i cant remember what happened last week
Yeah, but even if they were, it's not like they were actually molesting us. They would take pictures of our genitals which would then be secured in the principals locked safe.
I'm glad so many remember their PID stories.
I always got a letter from my doctor regarding my health. But it spread rumours why I was never present for the inspections.
>inspection day
>always hated it cause I'd get called out for secondary inspections every year
>enough is enough
>finally decide to stick it to them
>enact my plan
>the time comes
>want off a bit in the bathroom beforehand so it's at least a semi
>"pull your pants down user"
>they kneel down to get a closer look
>my penis springs out and hits them in the face
>I drew a little smiley face on the end of it for extra keks
Never got inspected again after that. But they usually stopped after eighth grade in my school anyways.
Back in the day they used polaroid cameras that printed them out right then and there, I hear now they just take pics on a school owned digital camera and store it.
>girls watch a video about various abnormalities
>guys get their peepee, balls, and prostate inspected for various abnormalities
>this is weird
Okay
DESU, I kind of enjoyed most inspection days. The prostate exam felt good.
>please don't call me gay ;-;
penis inspection day is for making sure your penis is circumcised, goy
it's not gay if it's medical user
>Get marked as sexually predatory
>Never inspected again
Gee I wonder why. Lucky you didn't get dick cancer.
What the fuck are they supposed to do with the girls? They take specialized equipment to inspect, it's not like you can line them up and get it done lickety split.
Yeah, they do. Through the fucking family GP NOT THE SCHOOLS PE TEACHER this is a wind-up?! You guys are trolling, this is fubar.
To be fair sometimes nurses would do it. You should see how many "incidents" there were when a semi attractive female was feeling us up.
If a kid hurts themselves in school, are the nurses not supposed to touch them? Why does it being at school suddenly make it so weird?
Still, I guess this kind of nightmare would happen in a place with privatized health care. I'm assuming this was the schools own nurse?
Well yeah. Two people at least, the one doing the inspection and the other to shadow. The inspector had to wear gloves because some of the boys would cum during the process.
It depends. At my school, it was usually the PE teacher. One time he was out sick, so a nurse I didn't recognize did it. She was super uncomfortable and didn't really do much, so I guess she was new?
ITT: How to spot a newfag
What kind of bullshit is this? If youre gonna have a penis inspection day, go ahead, but atleast do it individually. I dont want to be lined up naked with other kids. Wtf is this? John Podestas secret child rape dungeon?
Where I'm from you have First Aiders to help with sick or injured kids. Shit like getting fingerblasted in the name of "public health" is completely the domain of a kids parents registered GP.
Plus, lining up in front of all your peers to have your dick fondled? How is that not fucked up?
same here, it was always the PE teacher (who was also the Health teacher).
this guy in my guild shut up said that he went to a private catholic school and they had to have someone from the local clinic come in for PID every time because of some shit that happened back in the 70s.
>implying the principal isnt a pedo himself.
god so many fucking newfags
i really doubt they'd entrust him with those kind of medical records if he was a pedo user
You aren't naked, you just drop your pants. Don't be so dramatic.
So getting your junk inspected for abnormalities is fondling? Are pediatricians in your country considered pedophiles?
Penis inspection day is a fucking meme. I refuse to believe this is real.
that user probably thinks a mammogram is rape too
i didn't believe canadians actually had milk in bags until i saw it myself.
its a big world my dude.
I always skipped school on penis inspection day, the inspector always laughed at me
Getting lined up and having a random grown ass adult take pictures of you and your friends with your pee pees out is literally the victim testimony of a high profile paedophile case.
At my school they wouldn't let you graduate each year unless you had your inspection. Some kids had to skip graduation and come to school the week after the semester was over for their late inspection and late graduation every year.
It takes a particularly sick mind to look at it that way dude.
>Mommy that man at the doctors office looked at my winkie
>This makes them a pedophile
Yeah ok Yuropoor.
>Inspection Day
legit? america sounds like such a backwards shithole I can't even tell.
Nah, it's how a sane person that wasn't publicly humiliated and molested as a kid would think.
>gullible fucking eurocuck
Seriously, it's like if you had a headache and the school nurse gave you some aspirin, everyone wouldn't be like
>THE NURSE IS A DEGENERATE DRUG PUSHER TRYING TO GET OUR KIDS ON DOPE
they'd be like
>thanks for looking out for the health and wellbeing of our children, carry on
i don't understand how yooroez are always proud of their healthcare system but they think our inspection program is weird. they pay a license to watch tv, wtf, that shit is what's weird.
But you're not at the doctors office. This was either the gym teacher or some roastie you don't even know.
gay jokes actually died down quite quick for me. bullying was not a big thing there.
Got more heat for being one of the few uncut (immigrant family). saw some gnarly scars on the others. so fuck em.
the school can't afford to hire doctors dummy, that's why they have health teachers and gym (which involves health) teachers do it usually.
They have inspection day in Australia too
chill out jamal, i just figured a meme event like that would be plausible in a meme country
>redditor posts old meme
>other redditors play along
>a handful of redditors pretend not to know what the ancient, unfunny joke is
>WHoAAA LOL NEWFAAAG NEWFAAGS!
>xD
>it's actually real brah epic
>ad infinitum for +70 posts
do you brainlet neets not have anything better to do?
>*zip*
>she'll be right
>*zip*
>yehhhhh
>*zip*
>good on ya
>*zip*
>...bloody nora
>EVERY TIME
>FUCK YOU MR. THOMPSON REEEEE
>i don't understand how yooroez are always proud of their healthcare system but they think our inspection program is weird
Because it fucking is? The only situation I can think of where someone besides your own local primary health care provider would be shoving their fingers up your ass for "health" would be the army.
Is that why they do it?
(I still think this is a meme btw)
Here is the (You) you desperately require user.
>Plastic bag
>Carton box
I don't get it how thei're so different, both seem normal to me.
Ok but in countries that aren't terrifying hellscapes families have their OWN doctors to check on a kids "development", they don't send their sons to school so Mr Henson the basketball coach can line them all up and make them get their junk out.
I call fake and gay.
that's kind of the point, it seems normal to you because you're used to it. someone not used to it might be like wtf thats retarded.
same thing here.
did you forget that we're mostly talking about the US, the country with the shitty and expensive healthcare? it takes a village to raise a child user, everyone has to chip in and do their part. not everyone can afford that kind of luxury.
My mate's brother used to go out in the morning after the milkman had come and smash everyone's milk bottles in the neighbourhood.
>tfw forgot my penis on inspection day
since when?
never had one
you must be on the east coast.
>be 9 years old
>it's the early 90s
>swimming class
>always take care to towel off properly afterwards because skin was sensitive to the chlorine
>because of this, always the last to get dressed
>be me and one or two others in changing room...
>towel around waist while I dry my prepubescent willy
>older, female teacher comes in
>"drop...the...towel" she says, slow and deliberately
>very shy, dislike confrontation
>she repeats the lines again
>can feel myself shaking as I lower the towel until it barely covers my wee willy winky
>she smirks, and walks out
>spend the next few years having everyone chant "drop the towel" at me
and that is the story of how I was kind of nearly molested by my teacher, and how my classmates further shamed me for it. I told my mum what happened but it was brushed under the carpet.
we go to doctors here
first time parents just said it was a appointment or something
docter told me to lay on the table then fugging pulled my pants up
last thing i expected to happen
They are memeing you, user. I live in Oregon and have never heard of penis inspection and the idea sounds incredibly absurdly ridiculous. Also, Americans are so deathly afraid of pedophilies lurking around every corner, nothing like that would ever fly.
>you
east coast of australia, you retarded seppo
t.
newfags never change
thats kind of weird. now that I read this I kind of remember similar. they said they were screening for scholiosis, but all I remember was going into the showers and being told to take of my shirt with a bunch of other dudes. the guy inspecting us was some fat creep too. pretty foggy memory. some other shit mightve happened too. now I feel like theres a 95% chance he molested us.
first link was for obviously.
>6th grade
>crushing on the most popular chick in our grade
>how to get her to like me
>wrote her a love letter
>lunch
>we're all in tables of six next to each other
>crush and her friends are at the table next to me
>hey, I got this letter in my locker
>she proceeds to read it out loud
>oh oh no
>they're dying laughing
>get up and use the bathroom
>fuck, now I need to walk past everyone to get back to my seat
>here goes nothing
>my entire grad laughing at me
>they're passing the note around so everyone can read it
>end up getting sarcastic love letters in my locker for the next few weeks
I don't know what I was thinking
Man wtf. Were they taking pictures of your dicks? I bet its a good undercover duty for a pedophile.
>how we did over the years
>look John you see, I told you your penis is gonna be like monster sized cock.
> t-thank you Mr mckanzie.
>now we take another photo
>b-but Mr mckanzie its not a inspection day
>just shhhh John.