I'M 27 AND STILL DON'T KNOW THE FEEL OF A VAGINA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

the wizard ranks aren't for everyone
you're still young
go fuck someone and break the curse

Where do the 25+ year old loser go to?

I don't think r9k is for me anymore.

wizardchan, but fair warning, fucking lurk for years before you post. They sniff out newfags like Chad sniffs pussy

He just means Fireball whiskey. Drink your problems away

Modern prostitutes are disgusting, and the ones that aren't are bitchy and entitled.

Slick and muscular maybe? That's how I've always described it.

Can be. My first gf was like that but she was also a bit fat. 2nd was skinny and it was much more uneven and less smooth inside.
Also may be worth noting first gf had only had sex a couple times if at all (I only know she was raped once at 14 and don't know how far she went with anyone else). And 2nd gf has been riding the cock carousel for at least 4 years, probably more.

Sex is overrated.
Focus on achieving.
Companionship will follow.

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Ave fellow SPQRpostingBro!

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This is going to sound really stupid, but the one fat girl I fucked had the tightest, most amazing pussy - more so than any other girl i've ever been with. Was it because she was fat? Are fat pussies tighter?

>focus on achieving
Achievement is overrated. By most standards I'm "successful". Nice salary, nice house, nice car. Companionship is nowhere to be seen, and money doesn't compensate for it.

>the glory of rome is forever

Clearly that's not true.

I've been lurking there for 6 years but I never post cause I'm too afraid of their standards there. I posted once and I mentioned I had a friend and I almost got banned for not being friendless or something so I don't post anymore. I want something a bit more lax that I feel comfortable to joke around in.

But yeah, I'm 26 and halfway to 27 and I'm a huge NEET kissless virgin loser though otherwise. But I've been to 2 parties before when I was 23 and last week all because of the few friends I have (And I had fun at both just talking to random people, I can't talk to girls though I find it extremely difficult). If you know anything about anywhere else I would like to know. Maybe I'm just a failed normie after all.

And you never wiIl.

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just touch the inside of your cheek bro

i can't get my dick to reach the inside of my cheek though

Feel the inside of your cheek slowly with your tongue. Isn't it so soft? Now imagine this surface with soft ridges griping all over your dick. This is what a pussy feels like.

Skinny girl was way tighter for me, despite the cock carousel. She really wanted me to finger her and I could only get one in. Was too afraid to hurt her with a 2nd

Actually fairly accurate. But don't understate the ridges, pussy be wrinkly as fuck inside

>could only fit one finger in
>dick fits in easily
i've got some bad news for you user

I pity the man who doesnt have a woman enslaved to his cock that he can fuck on demand. I love pounding my gfs slick warm pussy and I cum gallons everytime we make love. The cuddling afterwards is just the cherry on top.

Maybe one day OP. One day you might know this glorious feel.

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Just wait until you marry her and have kids. She'll divorce you, take the kids and the money, and fuck Tyrone within a few years.

I don't believe you at all. I know tons of dudes who look like shit and still have sex. I myself have had sex a few time. I will never get why people come here and pretend. Is it fun or something?

>because Jow Forums told me so!

That only happens to betas who can't make women orgasm 10 times every time they fuck. My girlfriend knows she'll never get better than me. Best sex of her life and she literally calls me a sex god.

You're projecting your own sad insecurities.

Imagine hell as a place you don't fully enter until you commit a sinful act with absolute knowledge that eternal damnation is possible.
You're in hell. The devil has picked a specific room for you to inhabit based on your sinful thoughts.
The walls are warm and red, inviting you in your primordeal state(naked and vulnerable). You are Adam being offered the apple, the fruitful abyss of innocence lost.
You enter despite rationality telling you not to. The absolute desire overtakes you and you fully enter a hole in the wall of flesh. Cum is not deliverance, and that desire quickly becomes insatiable. You know for eternity you will chase this feeling again. It's wet, comfortably squeezing, and fully inviting.
Down and down you spiral to a consciousness of hell, immortal lust born

Fingers and dicks are different beasts, user. Fingers have nails for a start, and 2 fingers is broader in 1 direction than another, they're not as smoothly designed to slide in as a dick.
I don't have to justify my sex life to some incel on the internet. I was there that night, I know what happened

Hahaha, keep telling yourself that. Tyrone has a 10 inch dick. You can't possibly compete.

Fingers also have bones. They hard and knobby. Dicks are at least pliable.

The best advice I ever got on this topic was a guy here about 2 or 3 years ago, he survive a horrific stomach cancer and was a virgin at like 25. It goes something like, you're going to need to leave the US/west and use lower tier women to level up on. Because at your age what a girl in your bracket is looking for, and what you're looking for are totally different. You're just both going to be disappointed. No girl in your age group is a virgin, and she does not want a virgin boyfriend. Most of you are too old to pull a young teen virgin. You need to level up. There is a lot you're lacking and she will sniff it out very quickly. You not only do not know how to talk to women, but you don't know how to kiss, to fuck, and to handle them yet. You cannot just start at 25+ with no experience.

#metoo
not sure i care though im too lazy

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>b-but my girl is different from the others!
You're in for a rude awakening.

>tfw
youtube.com/watch?v=HMqgVXSvwGo

>implying women outside the us want to fuck 30+ year old virgins

Post your discord and I'll take your virginity this year. I'm not attractive but if you really care this much you'll take what you can get.

I lost my virginity at a church dance when I was 14. The girl later changed her story and said it wasn't consensual but as you guys know I was the quiet kid sitting in the corner. She was over weight and too old so this was her final dance and was extra thirsty. The bishop blamed me and hinted that if I didn't follow his guidance he would pursue assisting her in getting rape charges on me.

This messed my social life up early. Didn't admit this event to anyone and now had an extreme disgust for women at an early age. Never dated and was roasted alive in High School for it. College i passed as one of the guys but shy at parties.

A girl from HS messaged me last year and wanted to date/hook up. Briefly mentioned letting me fuck her bareback because she had the implant. I chickened out last second. That weekend was going into Valentines. A few months later she posted on facebook she was 4 months pregnant, meaning she smashed someone that weekend. I wonder if she even had the implant.

She contacted me again this last month. I havn't had pussy since 14. Said this dude knocked her up and peaced out. The babies birthday is coming up and is hinting at wanting money for him and so she can quit her job and raise the kid. Promises me the most wild sex i can imagine but much heavier now.

She is at this very moment texting me to go over to her place to fuck and i've been stalling browsing Jow Forums because i feel like this is some sort of trick to get me to pay child support.

I tell you this so that you wizards should take solace in the fact you havn't had to experience some of the frustrations others have with women. Please don't find a girl to fuck. Find one you can actually look at in the eyes. I will leave you with this. That mysterious feeling you are so dire to experience between a womans legs is not worth it. Please. Jerk off and forget about it. If you are on Jow Forums hopefully you will realize that we were never meant to have wives.

i already drink my problems away, but i at least do it with some class
fireball is nasty
go with some scotch instead

South east asia, and you don't tell them you're a virgin. They might be able to tell, maybe not. A typical western 20+ year old woman has so much experience that she can tell within 30 seconds.

No, statistics, female sexuality and biology, and having common sense told me so.

>I'm 32 and in the same boat. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll be a wizard soon.
I am not OP, but this quote is inspirational. I am keeping this forever.

glad i could help, i guess
good luck on your quest for wizardhood

>29 year old virgin
>tfw sitting in a room when everyone else, including people several years younger than you, start talking about their current and past relationships and you realize just how rare and freakish you are

Thanks a lot girls now I feel like I'm always living some sort of double life

The divorce rate is at a historic low. You're just making excuses so you don't have to try to talk to girls.

I'm interested how you've stayed sane as 32 year old virgin? What is your life like? Job? hobbies? I'm 28 and ready to pull the plug on my life. I'm not some edgy 19 year old college kid, I have a full time job and am a regular adult and I live for nothing other than to pay my bills. I will probably be trying heroin soon.

This is me at work except I'm 28. We're at an age where people start to marry and have kids and we haven't even kissed. It really is crazy if you think about it.

Then quit bitching about never touching a vagina. God you faggots are so pathetic.
>wahh im an incel and can't get laid
>what?? an escort? no thanks
This is why incels don't even exist. You all do it voluntarily.

It's not just about cumming, retard. We could just jack off if that was the case.

It's about being entirely undesirable and deemed unworthy of affection by our own species.

What makes you think I'm sane? I'm a software engineer, and pretty good at it if I say so myself. I go to work, where I'm well respected. Then I come home, where I'm a pathetic virgin loser with no friends or hobbies. I pay the bills, post on Jow Forums in my big empty house for a bit of "socializing", and then go back to work where I feel like my life has a purpose again. Trouble is, my career is the best thing about my life, and yet I still alternate between liking it and hating it.

A few times I even managed to get quints like you, and my life had meaning for about 15 minutes. Maybe if I keep it up I'll get quints again too.

Have you ever tried giving affection? You get what you give. That is one thing I learned about myself. I'm not very pleasant, I'm not very loving, I don't give affection very well. I don't really deserve love desu.

If thats your biggest worry then you aint got shit on anything thats serious.

Out of curiosity, what do you have going on thats so serious it dwarfs the lack of affection that all social animals need for a healthy mind?

This is not true. You make it past a certain age and there is a good chance you'll remain a virgin forever. Ok so you're not dying or anything, but what kind of life is that? Never having a gf? Never having sex? I'm only alive because I have false hope. The older I get, the less chance I know I'll get it.

I was in wizardchan.

I said I was 31 years old
I was a virgin.
I have depression.
and that the cunnys were the only thing that kept me alive.

I almost get banned.

They are a bunch of pussys. Fuck them

Excellent taste my friend

origcommentbloxxx123

The Awakening is going to be very hard for you.

Ive worked since I was a kid in manual labor raised extremely poor, kept working and stayed around family because they have issues and need my help.

My back has gone so bad that I cant sleep in a normal bed because my back adjust over night so I cant veen get out of bed laying flat by myself I have to sleep in a recliner. My back is constantly in pain and sometimes gets so bad that I can barely walk.

Too poor for any medical so the bone spurs in my knees have become extremely bad so much that it hurts daily like my back.

My shoulder was injured around 19 no medical so its shot so bad that it hurts bad too.

When i went to an emergency room when bit by a venomous spider the nurse accidently fucked up the iv and destroyed my right arms grip and it is painful to even lift things sometimes due tot he damage from the elbow down.

My blood pressure is high due to stress and because its hereditary.

I have schizoprhenia and the only thing that keeps me from killing myself immediately is to this day after 25+ years of working my family still needs me to soldier.

I work 10-14 hour days often and break my body even more year by year.

My eyes are bad and my hearing seems to be going from working heavy machinery or something hell they just know its bad.

My hands have arthritis.

The venmous bite got worse when nurses gave me some shot that spread a rash over my body and helped the venom course through me so fatigue is extreme but I still go.

Not fucking a pussy, thats not a problem. Go to vegas pay 200-400 and get some pussy.

So yeah, my willpower to survive for my family and my loyalty for them keeps an old broken down body and mind running on pain and suffering.

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Make yourself desirable then or just whine about it on the internet like a faggot.

Oh and just to add the fun with all those in mind I have severe depression and anxiety and I am resistent to pills and its so bad with schizo they have to worry that if I get the wrong pill I will lose the willpower I have and kill myself.

SO I face these battles without medication.

have fun with the suffering that is "wah I dont get the pussy"

Yeah ok but have you ever had a gf

>Just grow to 6'5" bro
>Just develop a forward maxilla bro
Idiot

who more of a faggot?
the faggot who whines on the internet or the faggot who wines about winers on the internet

No

Wanna play some more of this game of life?

How about the faggot who whines on the internet and then whines about getting called out for being a whiney faggot.

>27 year old virgin

wtf? are you gay or something

>How about the faggot who whines on the internet and then whines about getting called out for being a whiney faggot.
so you?

That's nothing.

When I was a kid, I had to walk 8 miles through the snow to school.

My parents had always dreamed of visiting Florida, so they put all the money they could into account for our Florida trip, and we could barely afford food.

When I was 13, we could finally afford the trip. It was pretty great until my entire family was eaten by alligators.

I lost three limbs, and I have to type with my left foot, but luckily I escaped with my life.

When I made it to high school, the school bullies teased me to no end because I only had one limb, and my entire family was dead.

To cope, I resorted to drugs, and got addicted to meth.

I graduated from high school despite all these setbacks, but a black girl with all four limbs took my place in college due to affirmative action.

Now I live on discarded food from the local Taco Bell and post on Jow Forums from a dumpster on a horribly outdated iPhone 5s.

You might think you're life's bad, but get back to me once you've hopped a mile in my shoe, asshole.

I had sex at 16
Im 28 now
Ive never gone longer than 6 months without sex

thoughts?

Your post might be funny if what I posted wasnt 100% true.

I'm a 5'10 hapa and even I managed. Your attitude tells me all I need to know. You expect women to throw themselves at you even
though you make zero effort just like Elliot Rodger. You should off yourself just like him, bitch nigga.
Keep crying, stay a virgin and die alone.

Truth they dont know shit about hard ship and are more than likely neets or rich kids who never have to worry about shit.

>Keep crying, stay a virgin and die alone.
think ill stay happy and live alone in peace elliot

So was mine.
You don't know how good you have it.

Yours is fake, we all knows it fake because youd get disability money and youd get free housing and free transportation.

You must be a pretty scummy low life to make up stupid shit like that and pass it off as real.

Perhaps that is why you cant get pussy because you are just an asshole who no one likes to be around.

Ill leave with that, perhaps youll decide to change, or youll just die alone and unloved and it will be all your fault.

I don't even blame them. I was just like them until I decided to actually make an effort and talk to women. It's amazing what can happen if you actually try and don't expect everything to fall in your lap.
If you're content with solitude then good on you. You're not an incel. I'm merely exposing these "incel" faggots for the absolute pussies that they are.

>literally "nu-uh, you are!"

I can see why you're not ready for an adult relationship.

Gays get laid

because you weren't doing the same lmao

ive only had vaginal sex wearing condoms since every pussy i have been in belonged to literal prostitutes. cant even imagine what raw vag sex feels like with someone that actually likes you back, maybe even loves you.

feels warm and wet and good and then it feels like regret and total emotional immiseration