/alcoholics/
Alcoholism is a religion practiced by the broken hearted.
Tell me brothers how you lost your mind.
My heart was broken by my own mother and ever since I found alcohol, I have been healing but I the more I drink the bigger the hole gets when I remember how much she hurt me.
God knows I love him for he created death so maybe my mother and I can be happy again like when I were young.
You're not healing. You're running from your true emotions and wrecking havoc on your whole body along the way. Either confront her about breaking your heart or say "fuck it, nothing matters" and enjoy life for what it is.
shame about the delerium tremens though
I had to stop being an actual alcoholic after I had a seizure while driving to work
If I had regular access to opiates I would do that instead. Million times better than alcohol DESU
my dear brother, try "triptophan", it's a cure.
you may need a little nicotinic acid, but basically you can kiss DT's goodbye.
but you will still need bacon and eggs, but T will get you that sleep you lose when you're down low.
honestly this is the only way to really destroy the habit. After DTs you never want to drink again, and that is no bullshit.
go to a meeting and listen to people there tell you how bad it destroys your guts. Your guts drive more neural chemicals than any other part of your body, when you have drank too much they shut down and your mind goes haywire. People at meetings can tell you all about it, how it's hell on earth ect...
Started to become the friendless loner I am today, that's when I started dabbling in drinking alone to numb the pain. Then I truly became friendless in a spectacular fashion (bullshit drama that hurt me really badly) and that's when I went off the wagon.
I was drinking disgusting white cider, and about 3 litres in one sitting. I'd wake up covered in my own piss, douse my mattress with vinegar and do the same thing the next day.
Gradually I came back to the real world and out of my bubble. Got some therapy and read some psychology so I'm a lot better. I still drink alone just enough to get a nice buzz and that's it. Still friendless but I don't let my emotions control me anymore.
she's insane now. Probably with guilt, but the worlds to fast for both of us, she used to be like toriel from that game undertale.
she left a slice of cake by my door back in 199X, and I cried so hard I wanted to die, and the little boy inside me stays alive on that memory alone.
sometimes I think god made that game to remind me she used to be an angel before the world and it's rules killed us both.
she loved me so much, but now all I have is alcohol, and that's okay, you don't understand, it hurts but I can function, you see a little ant with 5 legs hobbling slower than everyone else, the other ants think it's worthless and it hurts, but until it dies it's not gonna get better, you may think alcohol is killing me but I need to die, it's not that I can't accept it, I have, I know I'm weak, and so does she, nether of us were smart enough to survive and now we're crippled, and that's how it is, we aren't bothering anyone, alcohol is just a crutch to stop people like me from spreading the disease.
you might as well blame a cripple for using crutches.
I've had DT's so much I have random partial siezures of my body parts.
I ain't stoppin till I die.
whisky is my god, and god is kind as long as I keep him brewin.
if people leave you in hard times they ain't friends.
hear any voices tho? I can't imagine you'd want to continue after that. Sounds like you didn't actually stop, you twitched and seized but drank more before you could ride the whole thing out. I wish you the best brother, but I don't think you've completed the path yet.
yeah it was nuts, it was like I was dreaming wide awake, hearing noises like a tv set was behind me moving back and forth, time stopped moving forward, seconds passed like hours, I ended up in hospital about 30 times for withdrawals.
I've got to be honest man, I don't think I've actually slept properly since then, I can't tell anymore, but the liquid still brings back good memories and stops me from hating the world so I still drink to stop my brain for boiling over.
you have to stop bro, go to a meeting
>if people leave you in hard times they ain't friends.
I know that. The boredom of being friendless is still awful, although I deal a lot better with it now
I try to work a lot but the more I work the more I realise everyones got more of a life than me, and I just can't forget my own, everytime I try and have fun with them I remember my life.
I'm guessing you're the same, or maybe you're like I was, for a while, I couldn't even find a fucking job, nobody wants broken men, idiots they are, broken men work the hardest.
I'm telling you man, tryptophan and nostalgia helps like nothing else at least it puts blood back in your body when you're going white.
you can order tubs of that stuff from horse supplement stores, and once you take it, you might not even care about the drink, cause it sends you to a peacefull sleep.
This may or may not help, but I really do believe that a higher proportion of people today than in any other time in history are friendless recluses. I know it's a meme but I think technology has something to do with it. Everyone can be so easily stimulated, there is no reliance on going out and talking to people anymore. It's weird now to talk to strangers.
I'm pretty happy with just drinking a few beers man. Why do you feel the need to take shit like this? I've never even heard of Tryptophan
another good way to get friends is get some dumb hobby like brewing, it also hides you alcoholism, cause you can babble on about it.
literally just get mollases water and yeast and a warm area and a 10 l jug or something and you're set, 9 days later it's a drinkin time.
IDKFA alcohol version basically.
my friend I hope you never know, it's the same reason heroin addicts take methodine.
basically if you're so hurt you can't get it out of you even with alcohol, you start drinking like a fish so much that your body starts breaking down every part of itself to survive and that's called "dependance".
At that point it is literally eating your hair so it turns translucent (no kidding, I had translucent facial hair when I first arrived at hospital after my first episode) and it's because it's getting at a protein it needs to make dopeamine called "tryptophan".
now a lot of "learned fellows" will bullshit you with their backwards talk and "modern studies" about tryptophan being for something else but once you've been there you realise what alcohol is, and what why you need it, and at that point you're just trying to survive, and that's how I learned.
tryptophan allows you to drink like a fish, regroup, bacon eggs and go to work after a two week bender.
One time I did actually need two days to regroup but I was inhaling two bottles a day and not eating.
>Tell me brothers how you lost your mind.
well I am a hikikomori for 5 years.
I just started drinking because it is better than being sober and I dont have the ballz to kill myself yet.
I have to quit soon because tehy introduced a floor price in australia in my state.
my normal cheap alcohol I use to drink daily, got increased in price like 3X what it was.
I plan to quit alcohol by spending ALL my money on Weeb stuff for my Waifu.
again brother; I am Australian so I know:
Go to a coles/woolworths and buy a homebrand can of brew maker, and follow instructions.
water, brew maker (molasses), yeast, a 10l water you warmed up and warm room and you get beer 9 days later.
no jokes, just shake it a bit every now and then and make sure the 10l's tap is open and you get beer.
pop that 10l in your fridge and you got your own bar.
no more money, just spend a $ on mollasses and 3 on 10l water and never let the strain die and you have infinite beer.
I watched a video earlier and I had to drink to stop thinking about it, was about bullying, brought up some childhood memories that I'm not ready to think about, every day I drink but it's for a different reason each time. kids are fucking brutal man
abuse of power is what you faced, and you came out of it and now the only person you are willing to hurt is yourself.
that makes you a real man, lesser men try and spread the disease of hurt but you manned up and took the godly path.
think about it that way, there ain't nohin wrong with drinking, and if there's a god, there'll be whisky in heaven.
try and get a boring job so you can adjust to life and just spend your money on games or something man, life is a joke, might as well enjoy yourself.