Hey Jow Forums, I plan on killing myself on the 31st of this month but I don't want to become a statistic...

Order massive amount of salt.
Buy recycling bin with the wheels and flappy lid.
Go to secluded area.
Fill with salt.
Insert self into container naked.
Close lid.
?????
Salted Pickled user, in the trash where he belongs.

Anyone who finds your body will both be impressed and wondering what the fuck.

(Mandatory: this is not advice and I am not responsible for anything you do with it.)

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For this you need two people.

Dress up like a street magician, can be whacky or "cewl" like David Blain, but you need people to know youre a street magician, maybe a T-Shirt with you cool wizard name on it.
Your accomplice who is also looking to off themselves should dress up like the camera man.

Now the hardest bit, play the role of a very enthusiastic street magician, get your way into the train station, maybe involve a few of the bored staff that are there.

Start backing slowly towards the tracks to get ready for when the train comes, tell your audience they are about to witness the most amazing bit of street magic, really work the crowd, get them hyped get them with their phones ready.
When you feel the train is about to pull into the station, jump onto the tracks with your camera man, explode into a fine red mist.

>Pros
>Multiple camera angles, bonus if your cameraman was recording too.
>Kinda funny
>Never been done before

>Cons
>Involves "street magic"
>Headlines might include "X's Last Trick"
>Might accidentally be credited as a failing magician

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Damn. I just remember a really creative way to go about it which I heard years ago in WoW.

Some guy suggested to another person who was diagnosed with cancer, to wrap a metal wire around his head, glue his hands onto his head and then jump off of a 8 story building in such a way that the head would be cleanly severed from his body, leaving him holding his own head in his hands once he hit the ground.
Food for thought?

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Kill niggers with a gun that you illegally bought so fucking normie media can see banning guns won't solve a thing. You'll be well remembered and I'll post an appreciation thread every year so you can be the next ER. Become legendary.
We believe user, make us proud.

Come with me to Mexico, we'll become hitmen robbing and killing drug dealers.

You're killing yourself on my birthday. Send me a video of the suicide as a present ok

there arent even 31 days in october u fucking idiot

You could hire someone to kill you.

Anyway, good luck, godspeed, and I hope you can find peace on the other side, user.

I like your idea, so I'm gonna expand it a little bit.
Hire someone to kill you, then try to survive for as long as you can until you inevitably get killed.
Fun little game which ends in you getting what you want.

There mightbe a lot of blood if you do that, so you might wanna do it outdoors in a secluded location or something maybe.

>he thinks they'll just go away

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Send the police on a wild goose chase clue hunt to find clues to who the murderer really is but the final clue says something along the lines of 'get rekt fags it was a suicide all along'

>buy a gun
>buy an automatic relay/drone with image detection
>prepare a treasure hunt for suicide note
>drive to the ocean
>add a kite to the drone
>program the drone to trigger the gun and shoot at you
>wait for strong winds from land to ocean
>go to a cliff, pic related
>let the drone with kite shoot you
>wind takes kite and gun to the ocean
>ballistic will determine someone has shoot you
>police will chase along your goose hunt
Of course you need to test your drone/gun/kite combination, preferable in the middle of nowhere. You don't want your neighbours telling the police about your prank. Also don't buy this stuff online, buy it in person and far away from your residence.

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I'd say hijak a plane and run it into a building. It's been a while since (((someone))) did that

take a little trip to nature like snoofkin here, try to be away from people in a vast free area
make a meal i nnature just think about life, even take a bottle of booze with ya

can't promise it will help but it might make you feel better insted of offing yourself

Salt suicide was on the table for me for about half a year. Just maintained a cup of salt water on my dresser in case the urge hit and I couldn't shake it. Hard to notice, nearly impossible to stop, and probably not the most painful thing ever. Probably.

I like this. So much fun to be had. Please OP.

Nah, fuck off. Go back to where you came from, redditfag.

This but use helium baloons instead

how would you keep the drone still enough to shoot you when it's attached to a kite?

This is a good idea but it's about as old as the internet.

When has this actually ever happened? You're thinking of scream

Take Soros with you.

>I plan on killing myself on the 31st of this month
Anyone who has ever seriously considered suicide and been close to the edge knows that you can't "plan" and postpone it, that's not how it works at all, that's laughable. This unwitting attention whore will not get even close to doing it let alone fulfill your retarded childish fantasies.

Some worthless faggot I had on my fb put on his profile before he offed himself ''the truth didn't set me free so I did it myself''. Very theatrical I thought. Maybe you could do something like that?

I'll tell you, no matter how kill yourself it will be reported as suicide anyway and the details won't be shared and no body will care to know like you think they will.

The faggot who offed himself on my fb did it only 2 weeks ago and his friends are back to posting memes and cute cats all fucking day. People move on, like always. Its hard to feel sorry for someone who forsakes the own life we all share in that way for too long I guess.

So do it however you like. Just know that nobody gives a shit really. You certainly wont make history no matter what you do. Idiot.

A drone has a motor which propels different rotors. It allows you to stabilize the object in the air, i.e. it can hoover at a height of 1.6m, maybe even in the wind shadow of a tree, or something similar.

Helium is hard to get by, and a drone allows you to move the gun reliable.

Go kill cops on a town/city that is known for police brutality, preferably with some sort of protection and drugs so you can kill as many as possible.

Give em a taste of their own medicine, just remember to get killed and not arrested

So what if I want to be

I'm not an Amerifag, I don't need your political bullshit I just wanna die

I might stream it if its a streamable kind of suicide

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You have a point. Maybe going quietly to a forest and just doing it alone in nature would be the best way for me to go since, as you said, no one will really care about the details