Autistic Things We Do

Kekkles muh nigger

Just pointing out incidents internationally and localy involving the religion of peace. No slurs or anything. Kept a couple trump pepes though.

>be watching a show
>something funny happens
>stop the video start to mumble to myself then put play again
>something cool happens stop the video stand up and start passing around n mumbling to myself
>a situation catches my attention stop video and start mumble to myself
>backround im a real autistic person

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You just have to realize that the white race will survive regardless. The "free movement" of people will be gone in 200 years or less.Put your hope in God, not some racial identity.

>hit myself in the face if I fuck up in vidiya too bad though I have gotten better with this recently
Fuck man I do this too. I yell like a motherfucker too. So I just stopped playing vidya

>religion of peace
It goes without saying that criticism of an ideology isn't actually racism, but most normalshits don't know that, so it might be good to clean up your reputation by only speaking on it in the areas that might influence people's thinking rather than alienate normans

It is pretty autistic to rant about Islam on normiebook of all places though user, congrats

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Kek yeah I do all this shit. I give commentary as though I was a reaction youtuber or some shit

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>he has a female roommate
Hot stories user?

i mean, we fuck sometimes, and we're like best friends. but (here comes the bucket of ice water) she's been getting yeast infections and UTIs and even bacterial vaginosis infections pretty continually for the past few months, and it's kind of turned me off of giving her the ol' lickaroo (which is the only way she can get off). she also has a few other guys that she has sex with, so i'm not under too much pressure to continue hooking up with her, and i don't think our dynamic will change much if i don't. so it's a pretty unconventional situation, especially for someone in their thirties, and i didn't want it to distract from the autism stories.

>>stop the video start to mumble to myself then put play again
>>something cool happens stop the video stand up and start passing around n mumbling to myself
>>a situation catches my attention stop video and start mumble to myself
Not diagnosed autistic but I do all this

just google search the image. i did so and found it with ease.

>it's a pretty unconventional situation, especially for someone in their thirties, and i didn't want it to distract from the autism stories.
Eh fuck it this thread is going to die soon and lose out to the femanon shit and race bait if something doesn't keep it on at least a little life support, plus that's an interesting situation.

How old is she? I have some friends who live like that sort of, but I'm just starting to fool around with the girl, doing dome/sub type of stuff, so I'm just hoping it doesn't start some kind of animosity between me and my other friend who lives with her. Pretty sure it won't though.
But yeah, my dad was married and had me by his mid twenties, so that's a strange situation you're in

This is a thread about being retarded, do you think I actually know how to use a computer?

I shut down my computer the other day out of impatience while it said "Updating do not shut down"
I just don't give a fuck

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>he didnt post the pic

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Thank you so much kind user.
I don't know how anyone can use that thing anymore.. Scrolling thru it is unbearable since they added video. Little 1/2 seconds of noise.

To live as an npc must be so,
...

Just about to post it user, gracias.
Fucking hilarious, I aspire to be this autistic.

Congratulations Fren you lost your mind

Eh all the thots migrated to Instagram and snapchat anyway, so just lurking there with the occasional "look I'm still alive post" is pretty much what I do at this point. I use social media primarily to fap, so it generally pays off.
Pic related
Normiebook is 80% ads and dumb videos now, and everytime I go on there I feel I'm being closely watched and that Cuckerburg is gonna tell Stacy I just spent 30 minutes looking at her pics or some shit.

>Thank you so much kind user.
Thank you user, we need more like you

>To live as an npc must be so,
I think they're happy that way user, as hard as it is to believe

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I don't know what happened, I used to not be like this. But now I show my emotions front and center. I can't stop from scowling at someone or groaning or sighing or making a sarcastic face when I think something is dumb. That's my autism, I make so many faces and movements.

Hi user, welcome to Jow Forums
This is a bit of a slow board as you'll notice

Maybe you can try channeling your movement to a less noticeable area than your face

>Her baby brother
>baby is clearly a girl

I don't want it to be fake but...

she's 32. i used to feel some jealousy when she'd bone other people, and i guess i still do but minimally. and maybe the jealousy i feel is different from most people's (or what i would have felt in college) in that i only seem to be jealous when she says the sex was good. so it's more borne of me wanting to be better than everyone than me feeling like she's tarnished, or whatever typically drives jealousy. because even if she just raves about having great conversations with someone i'll feel that same jealousy, which maybe has some element of a fear of being replaceable.

if we were married or had kids or something, then i don't think i could bear her boning other people because i'd feel like i was getting cucked and that i'd be viewed as a cuck. but since we're essentially just friends i don't feel that way. anyway, that was a longer response than i intended--she's 32.

>so it's more borne of me wanting to be better than everyone than me feeling like she's tarnished
I really relate to this, never really felt the need to have a "pure virgin waifu" like some fuckers on here but that right there is what sometimes can get to me
>i'll feel that same jealousy, which maybe has some element of a fear of being replaceable.
Fuck man, that is really the worst part.

Don't let your wife cuck you, I've been cucked before. Unironically. It is not a good feel after a while. It's pretty damaging mentally too even if you don't notice it at first.

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>hurr durr
Fuck yourself faggot, been here for ages. Talking to yourself like that is a clear sign you lost your mind, not "le ebin autism :DDDD".
Fuck you.

settle down you spastic nigger

I'm hyper aware of my surroundings

If i walk into a coffee shop the first thing I'll notice is something like there are 32 mugs in the dish rack and 18 boxes of coffee on the counter 17 people in the store and 3 exits

>mfw I instinctively read that out loud to myself impersonating the person who typed it as though someone was listening and didn't realize the irony until I was done reading it

I do that with funny posts sometimes too user. I've been talking to myself for my whole life. Guess it's how I learned to cope with being alone so much growing up.

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Man I wish I had even an ounce of that kind of awareness. I honestly operate like a ghost piloting a zombie and I'm off in my own little world most of the time and I really can't notice things for shit

>35 minute shower
this is the most autistic (and wasteful) thing you do

Sometimes I fap in the shower too

depends where he lives. plenty of cities get like 40 inches of rain a year and there's more water than anyone could ever need. if it's worth it to pay a fucking dollar or whatever 60 gallons of water costs, and another dollar to heat the water, it doesn't seem all that wasteful. better than using a gas-powered leaf blower. death to leaf-blower users. god i fucking hate them. they pollute more than modern V8 engines, and it's not even close. plus the noise. plus kicking up all the toxic spores and shit that belong on the ground and not suspended in the air for people to breathe.

>depends where he lives. plenty of cities get like 40 inches of rain a year and there's more water than anyone could ever need.
I live smack dab in the middle of the driest area of the entire nation user, he's right, I am retarded for doing that sometimes

wasting scarce resources is alpha. you're screwing future generations over for a few minutes of your own mild entertainment.

Fucking kek
I actually did somewhat of a spit take reading this while drinking water from a big ass glass

Water comes back though user. It's not like you use it once and it never comes back again. The planet is old as fuck but there's only ever been so much water desu

i think the issue is that freshwater gets lost as runoff into the ocean, and underground water tables also don't replenish except very slowly. i don't actually know though.

I literally use my signal for every single maneuver in my car no matter what and check my blindspot 100% of the time. I also stop at every single red light before turning on a right turn no matter what. I also make sure to be in the correct gear 100% of the time even if it means rev matching and downshifting every gear needlessly. I also yield to every single public bus when they make a left turn leaving a bus stop (by law this is required but people rarely do it). Along with never blocking any intersection no matter what.

Being a safe driver is beta as fuck. My goal is to get pussy bro, not worry about the lives of pedestrians and shit.

I drive safe but i also blast through 2nd gear to 90 then 3rd to 120+ on the reg, i love going fast i just know that you don't do that every single second you drive. Being a safe driver is actually unironically alpha, driving around like some retarded beta wondering into lanes and being on your phone almost hitting women with strollers on yield signs is beta as fuck.

Getting pulled over on the back streets of old route 66 because you were doing a crazy fast U turn in the forest, driving like an absolute alpha, then getting told you have no insurance by the cop who lets you off with a warning then driving back on the highway doing fucking 103 until you break down TWICE, once on a fucking mountain, before flying off the highway to go do donuts in the desert,

Now THAT is fucking alpha. And I lived it fucko, I truly lived it out with some homies of mine. Living life like an alpha does

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Redditors are watching this thread

reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/9mlzcl/user_is_questionable/

Fucking kek
user I honestly had it in the back of my mind when I typed it up "Let's see if this one gets stolen by reddit"
Hopefully I'll see it on Instagram at some point too. I just wished they hadn't cropped the end of it out

>Hopefully I'll see it on Instagram
Why?

Because it sort of proves your content is somewhat funny when people start stealing it and reposting it for likes. It'd be cool to see it get more attention on some kind of dedicated normie meme page or something, it'd be cool to see "6,000 likes" under my stolen greentext

But hey, I still hate normans

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we have a lot in common op
>taking a dump
>put a towel over my head

>can't touch certain textures
>constantly get freaked out when I have to touch something sticky

>pace around a lot
this makes people feel uneasy somehow

>rap like op does sometimes

>cup my farts

>talk to my cat and make up funny stories to tell her

>say to my self the same phrases over and over

>Because it sort of proves your content is somewhat funny when people start stealing it and reposting it for likes
Not exactly though.

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Op here
Other than cupping my farts I do all of that shit 100% exactly. I put stuff over my head so I can feel comfy and alone when shitting, sort of so I can just focus on the sensation.
Certain textures and objects gross me the fuck out. For some reason small jewelry makes me lose my shit
I pace around pretty much all the time unless I'm on the computer or in public in an area where it would be socially unacceptable to do so
Obviously I rap. But I'm wack as fuck
a sad sack fapping cuck who's lacking luck, whose rapping sucks
I pretty much just address my cat with a level of civility that just seems retardedly strange
And as for the phrases I'll say stupid shit on rotation until I get to a new funny phrase to say

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>someone stole that
Jow Forums 2018

I wonder whats wrong with us, maybe its normal and no one talks about it. i have a few more i thought of.
>making retarded faces and pretending to be different people
>have a large range of different voices ive came up with

>i have to have something in my mouth at all times
gayest thing I've read today

>have a large range of different voices ive came up with
I regularly use different voices posing as one of the several alternate comedy personas I've created. I have a rap persona that sounds like an absolute retarded dolphin and I always have fun as him.

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I use to roll my head back and forth whilst listening to music to get to sleep, from as early as i could remember all the way until i was 21. I had to stop because my neck starting hurting fucking badly and i was scared i was giving myself arthritis and i would get the taste of blood in my mouth anytime i would start rolling it for more than like 5 minutes.

>would roll head and listen to music to create completely unique dreams about anything i wanted and if i found music that i really liked/had a certain tone i could make myself feel as if i was actually there in that scenario
>these sessions would last 30-3hrs every night to get to sleep and some unique sessions i did that shit for 4-5hrs
>felt every emotion in the dreams, literally wept to some of the shit i would come up with and feel feelings i still have not to this day in some of my dreams

I can't really do it laying still but it still works kind of but very reduced.

>right now i'm chewing on a kitchen towel.
Looks like I accidentally glossed over the biggest autismo in the thread kek. Maybe second to myself and now that I think about it

Confirmed autism reporting in.

I do the same shit. If I have something that can go in my mouth I will. It's a sensory thing. My therapist tries his best to get me to stop but I freak out if I don't do it sometimes.

Do you chew on your straws? That's where most people catch me on it.

I kind of want to try this. Do you specifically recall any of the dreams user? Also hopefully your neck is okay

I like taking showers in the dark. It's relaxing. I highly recommend.

Fuck. I used to do this and pretend I was some sort of primordial being. I'm gonna do this again tomorrow probably. Thanks user

Yeah i remember quite a few of the dreams, made hundreds if not thousands of different scenarios over the years. Some of them were pretty cringe anime tier shit to get girls i liked in real life that i would interject into the dream. I would also usually build up a scenario for days or weeks even constantly adding things or expanding it. My neck is fine now a days but i have not done the rolling for a good 2 years now. I never really realized how much of an emotional release it was and how much i would look forward to it at the end of the day. The biggest limiting factor though is i would usually only being able to create visual environments i had been to or combine multiple environments i had seen physically to create a unique one.

So how does the neck rolling relate to crafting a dream scenario. I don't get it. How do I do this?

For me it created the illusion of momentum and i could for whatever reason feel like i was almost there physically. Like one of those meme sci-fi gravity generators that spin a ring around the ship extremely fast to give artificial gravity kind of way. I essentially lived a second life through these dreams for a very long time and was pretty distraught when i had to stop. Like withdrawl tier symptoms honestly.

Also i should point out i would roll my head side to side, like right to left, left to right etc. Don't want people thinking i was moving my head up and down like some fucking autistic retard.

So how should I roll my neck? Fast? I wanna have sex in my dream

>Don't want people thinking i was moving my head up and down like some fucking autistic retard.
Of course not, that'd be autistic. This whole thing is totally normal otherwise kek

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For the most part i did it at a moderate pace but would speed up when thinking about certain action sequences/scenarios. A good starting motion would be simply a complete motion, just move the head to the right and then to the left with no pauses. Doesn't have to be an insane extension of the neck just a nice comfortable controlled back and forth. The music part is key, get some shit you like. I should say that i pretty much never had sex in any of these dreams, i would have kissing or implied sex/want but never did it or could imagine it. Probably from being a fucking virgin, as i had no basis for it. I am sure this will not be an issue for you.

Seriously that would look stupid as fuck, at least this way is somewhat respectable. I did not tell anyone of this habit and the only people that knew were members of my family that knew i did it. I would also get really self conscious if i had a squeaky bed and would do anything i could to fix the squeak.

Do I have to have a preimagined scenario? I am shit at dreaming to begin with and have never had a lucid dream before

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I would only class these as lucid in extreme/profound scenarios i would experience with very specific music/parts of songs that would just really be amazing. For the most part i could/had an extremely visualized memory and thinking so i could craft these flawlessly, but weirdly had a very hard time expressing/feeling emotions but i could do it flawlessly in these dreams for the most part. I always knew that i was simply making the dream up and was aware of that, unlike a real sleeping or lucid dream.

A method i did discover for increasing my chance of having a lucid dream, whilst having music in that dream would be to get extremely tired and listen to music. I would drag out not sleeping for a few hours before i usually would and would then proceed to listen to some specific playlists/songs i had that were very drawn out and not upbeat. Do that for 15-30 minutes but don't actively try to go to sleep let it happen. It would put me in a crazy relaxed out of body state, that would usually accompany a dream of some sorts. Make sure to sleep on your back in this scenario.

But yes, you do need some sort of pre-imagined scenario you would like to experience. Just has to be basic like i want to drive a car fast and then you can build upon it from there. I don't know if this will work for many people to be honest.

I'll try it out man, thank you for giving a good description of it. Sorry you had to quit doing it

Don't judge me for this but the best music i found for getting into that lucid dream state with music was lil peep and similar music. I know it is factually garbage music but the beats are very mellow and only go down and back up to a base line never up and down up and down etc.

soundcloud.com/lil_peep/save-that-shit
soundcloud.com/nedarbnagrom/lil-peep-lil-kennedy-prod-nedarb-nagrom
soundcloud.com/mysticphonk/lil-peep-haunt-u-prod-by-mysticphonk
soundcloud.com/lederry/lil-peep-smb-prod-lederrick
soundcloud.com/lil_peep/right-here-w-horse-head-prod-nedarb

These are some of the okay tracks, i unironically had the best luck with these for the lucid dreaming experience. Just something about the way the music is, almost like a lullaby in a way. I know it is straight degenerate music but i only heard about this guy when he died and i could not stop listening to it when i did. Very enjoyable experience simply fading away while listening to this stuff and going into a dream. I found quite a few similar artists and styles to this guy too.

Garbage music is fun at times. I might try this tonight. I'm listening to the first song right now and it's actually pretty decent.
I look at music like this like poptarts. You can't live off just poptarts but poptarts are pretty fucking good sometimes.

soundcloud.com/g_eazy/monica-lewinsky-ft-kyle-skizzy-mars
Will this work? used to bump this shit in high school

Yeah honestly i have actually basically become obsessed with this type of music since discovering it and hunted down as many artists as i can making similar songs and amassed a very large specific spotify playlist/archive. If a song has a certain melody and just essence to it, it instantly clicks with me for this dreaming stuff. I found no other genre before like this stuff that did it for me.

The french horns in the song are a bit jarring and the background melody voice for my taste. Some parts of it i find okay, but in general not for me. But then again what works for me might not work for others and i don't really know to be quite honest. In my experience you usually want a good few songs lined up in a row because what i found is that if i do anything like open my eyes to change to the next track or find another song it takes you out of getting into that experience. You just want to click play and then basically let the tracks roll one by one until you fall into the state.

My autism is impossible to detect as it's purpose is to... be not detected, appear normal, socially accepted at least.
Whenever I happen to space out and stand still for like 30 seconds I snap out of it with mumbling something like "ohh yeah that's right", as if I was thinking of something complicated, though my mind was completely blank.
The catch is I do it even when I'm alone. So yes, I talk to myself as if there's someone watching me and try to act all "natural" even when there is no one to watch.

Also I use skip 15 seconds button when there is even slightly cringy stuff in a movie

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>pace like a mother fucker
>Sometimes having delusions of grandeur while doing it
>Stand in shower for 30+ min thinking either delusions of grandeur, fictional scenarios, or conversations with friends.
>Can't do smells
>Can not have shit that feels weird sticking on my hands
>Constantly washing hands because I can't til if I touched something I consider disgusting
Why am I cursed like this

I've noticed that I've been taking to myself in the third person. Like "ya we can do this"