Post your Autism Stories

>19
>Working at mcdonalds first job out of high school
>We get a new store manager
>8/10 blonde milf with a FAT ass
>guy who transferred to our store said she got removed from another store for sleeping with a subordinate
>never really paid attention to this knowledge
>me and milf manager have a good working relationship
>not sure how it happened but she asks if I want to hang out one day
>somehow don't really understand what this means
>say yes
>she drives me to her place
>we sit on the couch and watch harry potter
>I'm sitting at the end of the couch, upright
>She's laying down and part of her legs / feet are resting on my knees
>"user you don't realize how handsome you are"
>keeps complimenting my looks
>not sure what to do
>she starts moving her feet around my crotch area
>massiveboner.jpg
>whimper something incredibly beta like:
>"i-i-f y-you keep d-doing that.. i c-can't help but get t-turned on..."
>don't make any moves
>she eventually gets bored and falls asleep
>wakes up when the movies over and takes me home

I easily had the chance to lose my virginity there and I blew it

>be me
>maths class
>know all the content so I mostly fuck around in private up the back of the class for 80% of the lesson
>have some ball bearings and a small nerf gun in bag
>realise the bearings fit almost perfectly into the hole of the gun
>begin disassembling and modifying the gun to shoot the bearings
>once it's finished I want to know how powerful it it
>aim it at ceiling and fire
>it hits the ceiling and is fucking loud, teacher turns around to see what it was but the bearing had already sneakily fallen back into my lap before she can see
>no one else noticed except for one friend who was intrigued by what I was doing
>decide to do it again for the lulz
>teacher catches me this time and confiscates the gun

Everyone was nice to me in highschool and I don't know if it's because they liked me or because they were scared I'd kill them all.

>Be me
> Stay with me
>Historically I'm always a bear
> Youngest of his life
> I am sitting in a French class
> This is a boy in the class of Asperger
> Is known as Stoner
> The teacher was neither a teacher's pet nor a sympathy hypothesis
> One day, when I got to the lesson, he kneaded in his head
> It can not be mere herbicide, it must have been a combination of several powerful drugs
> Since I speak French, my class is working quite fast (my mother is French and talking at home often)
>Nevertheless
> Become the dishwasher
> I just started drawing while waiting for Bell
Suddenly the child began to shout
> "Fools! gives me the biggest bonus"
> Everyone watches her
> Dicks come out
> She goes to see this horrible girl directly
> Afraid of the whole class being confused
>Ninja turns into air
> I try to remove a class but it becomes uncontrollable
> Ax helmet

You wrote this to sound retarded on purpose to get a couple

>You's

>uni
>qt inches in front of me
>holds door open for me
>shake her hand with both hands and thank her
this memory hurts so much I almost vomit when I think about it

Attached: 1494475400327.jpg (248x248, 15K)

user, I'm sorry, but that story is hilarious. I would buy you a beer if I ever met you irl.

>have to give speech
>been holding in shit all day
>finally my turn
>slowly walk up there
>silently fart a couple times on my way up
>see a lot of visibly disgusted faces while presenting

>13 yo
>at school
>qt girl i was too scared to talk to
>decide that if i don't act now i'll never get the chance
>leave a cringy note in her desk that i like her
>too scared to sign my name on the note
>see her reading it before class
>looks around to try to figure out who it was
>she never found out it was me

Seriously I would spill my spaghetti everywhere if I even thought about talking to a girl.

Another one:

>in high school
>walking around school during lunch break and end up in a group of people talking
>maybe say one thing
>realize i've been standing there for 15 mins without saying a word
>oh god how do i get out of this
>don't want to interrupt people talking just to say i'm leaving
>just walk away without saying anything

God damn I did this too often.

>Be me
>Long story short I was living with a prostitute
>She's 19
>Wants to fuck but never just says it
>Heavy flirting
>Sitting on couch with her
>She gives me this look
>Like "you going to do something or not?"
>Like "I want dick now"
>Totally did not want to fuck a hooker for any reason
>Even if this will be the only chance to lose it like a god
>Nope, just totally betad out

Feels bad anons.

Attached: 1539650117295.jpg (1200x800, 227K)

No what is wrong with you take that to the bathroom you nasty shit
You are the nasty shit I take when I eat a lot.

That's fucking based.
Get out of here, Chad.

Can relate to the second one

>used to act really edgy in middle school
>sent my crush a picture of ronald mcdonald
>it said "McFucking Kill Yourself"
>she ended up going out with my friend after that

I actually had a chance with her. And i messed it up so bad. It was pretty obvious she liked me. I lived in a really small town too, so everybody knew each other. It really sucked. Whenever I was walking through my neighborhood, and kids were playing outside, their moms used to call them back inside until I was gone.

Attached: 1.png (512x512, 14K)

This story is old as fuck.

I was on hentaihaven and my earbuds unplugged and blasted the audio for a few seconds.

That's not beta at all. You know you're worth more than that and you denied a woman sex. That's a power move user you should be proud of yourself.

thanks for ruining it for me (no thanks)

Hahaha what? I've literally only told it on here once..

>be edgy Jow Forumstard in highschool
>teacher is overly leftwing
>start to hate her
>one day she gives us some bullshit assignment about the gender pay gap
>decide im gonna be LE EBIC and disprove the pay gap
>ends up pretty decent and i provided sources and what not
>when we get it back i find out that she failed me
>being autistic i decide to get my revenge im gonna redpill the whole class
>go on a rant about how it's bullshit and all that
>teacher gets pissed off and says im lying or ignorent
>most of the class thinks im racist and sexist for the rest of the year

Attached: AAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg (228x221, 9K)

I don't need a fake greentext to know youre an autist

>be me
>head to a local coffee shop
>get super nervous as I head to the counter to order
>"hi what can i get you user"
>uhhhhh
>silence as I can barley remember whats on the menu even though i come here often
>the guy is waiting for me to answer, i get more stressed
>cant think cant move cant do anything
>"uhhh what drinks have milk"
>whatthefuck.jpg
>cashier looks at me weird and says most except the ones with powdered milk
>i am visibily uncomfortable at this point
>"i cant have milk"
>cashier just stares at me like im retarded
>order something that clearly has milk in it to avoid talking any longer
>drop all my change on the floor as I hand it to the cashier
>quickly walk away and grab a magazine that they have for reading
>its in fucking Japanese
>pretend to read and flip through it like i understand what its saying
>worried that they will think I am weird for getting up twice
>cashier walks over with my drink, looks at the magazine
>"im learning Japanese!" I tell him
>gives me a weird look and walks away
>basically run away with my drink and throw it in the bin when nobody is looking

Fucking kill me

Good job vro

be me
14
never kissed girl
at dance girl asks
say yes
we make out
end up barfing on her face due to pizza rolls eaten earlier
fuck

that's not autistic you did the correct thing user

>be about 8yo
>have a dress up day at school
>dress like a skeleton
>walk up to school
>people can see me
>panic because my classmates might laugh at me
>user.exe has stopped functioning
>start crying
>run away
>next day find out people thought it was a pretty cool outfit and they didn't know why I ran way

my whole existence has been an ever lengthening series of hurdles where I try to overcome overlapping embarrassments.

it's such a fucking blur that every now and then I'll get a flashback to when I was actually young and have to overcome the mental strain of dealing with my own personal social failures.

I'm lucky I work with a bunch of ex marines and rednecks, I say a lot of outlandish shit that never offends them.

>be me
>go to religious school
>one of the last days of the year
>be at a church in town and not the one next door to the school for some reason
>go to receive bread thingy
>forget hand gesture or some shit I'm supposed to do
>do some awkward backtrailing and almost trip over myself
>try to go around the priest and hurry back to my seat
>bitch teacher comes over and confronts me about it in my seat
>be really embarrassed and heated for the rest of the day and not go to school for the rest of the year

Not talking shit at religious schools btw I'm actually Catholic.

>laying sod at a wedding venue
>owner is busy but offers to help
>i am suprised and say "you wanna help?"
>it comes out like "HUH??? YOU WANNA HELP? YOU? YOU'RE gONNA HELP ME?"
>get yelled at for being rude
>cry

me too lol

fucking sick of this original shit using an image should fucking bypass it holy shit I'm not even happy about my little joke anymore I've actually never told that story

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>be me
>socially awkward, chubby 8th grade
>played Magic: The Gathering with two friends
>lonely
>meet 7/10 girl in my school
>get the guts to talk to her
> is actually pretty cool and I want to ask her out
>thisisit.png
>ask her in gym class awkwardly and she says yes
>feelsgoodman.png
>start hanging out after school occasionally
>meet her brothers who play Magic
>thought it couldn't get better
>playing all together one time
>i notice they're loud and i dont know what to do cause im quiet and not used to that setting
>user.exe stops working
>decide to adapt
>scream "OH GOD" when attacked
>everyone staring at me
>silent the rest of the night
>get ride home from her dad
>lay in bed
>cry myself to sleep
>ffw couple months
>still dating gf and everyone has forgotten my autism
>i've become very impulsive emotionally since last moment
>wasn't a good week for me and gf
>she was ignoring me a lot
>break up with her out of unhappy impulse
>later on find out she was on her period and didn't want to tell me or take it out on me
>missed her like crazy cause im autistic

So how are y'all doing in life?

I also relate to the second one

Tbh this is why i stopped telling most people my actual opinion on things because lefties seem to think emperical data is racist or sexist. They'll literally ignore facts and refuse to change their minds even when they're disproven, so to avoid being treated differently or having my grades potentially impacted, I just act like I agree with them

>be 10 or 11
>obsessed with cartoon cat
>start acting like said cat infornt of my classmates
>classmates see me weird but dont suspect that much
>i start acting like a cat more and more
>suddenly stop when i hit 12
Dear god just remembering this made me want to go back in time and beat myself and then my classmates

I relate to the second one too. Sometimes I just go on my laptop while the group is talking and occasionally look up to confirm that I'm still there. Or I eat something. When I do those I feel less awkward although maybe the group thinks it's weird anyway

>be 16 I think
>just got home from high school
>loudly and clearly singing because there's no one else home and I like singing even though my voice is shit
>sister calls me from the living room about something unrelated
>never sing at home or anywhere else besides the car again
Even in the car I'm pretty hesitant