Be me, a 20 year old korean trap

my mom supports me but doesn't understand how impossible it is for me to leave the house. my dad is an absolute piece of shit and if he died i would use his life insurance to get plastic surgery.

idk, maybe. just hoping they don't actually come knock on my door until i'm already dead

well jesus call up the collections department and tell them your story, don't just wait for shit to explode

i don't want to go on a date i want to kill myself

want a permanent guy? ill marry you and love you forever : ^ )

i will marry u for 100,000
i literally only care about getting plastic surgery

Ah, that's the source of the issue then. Why is your relationship with your father so bad?

There's always hope user, call the college and tell them what happened.

i really don't care about him. ever since i was a kid we criticized me for being too feminine or wearing makeup, etc., and he made me feel ashamed every day. if he wasn't around i would have started hormones when i was like 12 and wouldn't even have these issues at all.

it's just a lot of work idk. i'll deal with it if i have to. im sure they'd just clear the debt if i committed suicide

It's just a phone call. The sooner you do it the sooner it'll be over.
Being in debt isn't the end of the world.

I promise you hormones or plastic surgery won't fix all of your problems. Sure, it'll be nice for a time, but that honeymoon phase will end. You will have to fix your underlying issues if you want to actually get better and not just put a band-aid on things.

but i... know that it will fix things. like i'm 100% sure. every issue i have is rooted in something physical that can be fixed. i've lived this life for so long online that im basically just trying to keep up appearances. it's necessary. either that or i kill myself. pick 1

Okay then kill yourself lol have a nice death

i really don't care about the debt it's just the possibility of having to interact with debt collectors and all that that fucking terrifies me and makes me feel an urgency about my procedures/suicide dilemma

i mean what else am i gonna do, pretend to be happy? everyone's like "just work hard and you'll get there eventually!!" like ya, when im fuckin 30?? ive already wasted the first 20 years of my life pretending to be a boy and now i finally want to be true to myself and ppl tell me to wait even longer...

I dont give a fuck about this threads im just trying to find my trapita lover. So... yeha do what you gotta do.

Why's that so scary? They're not coming to ridicule you, they don't hate you because you're trans, and they're not judging you. There was a misunderstanding with your dropping out, and you need to set the record straight. They may even forgive the majority of the debt. 12 thousand isn't even that much, it would take me two years maybe three years to pay that off.
You need to learn to interact with people, when I was 20 I was borderline agoraphobic, but I started working a job and slowly learned to interact with people, now I have a decent life. I mean I'm still miserable and lonely but I'm not depressed anymore.

it's just taking a step in a direction i don't want to go, i guess. i fix my college debt, i get a job to pay it off, etc. then what?? it's been 10 years and im stuck at a dumb job i hate and i still look like this??? i don't want to start that process, i really cant live like this anymore. i want to fix myself now or die trying. the debt is really small to me despite being so big.

shit I don't like the way I look, i've never been desired by anyone, but I learned to love myself. That may sound cliche as fuck but that's what I think you need too.
The small things you hate about your appearance only really matter to you, not to anyone who would be with you.
The problems you face now may seem not so important in a few years. Ending it now is not the answer to anything, it's only going to cause more sadness.
Learn

to love yourself*

Lol korean tranny BTFOD

i want to pursue instagram, youtube, and modeling as my career path. i literally don't want to do anything else. i want to be paid for being pretty and im not even fucking pretty without facetune. learning to love myself was never going to work. i don't, and i won't, until i look how i want to. i know this is how i will always feel.

I used to think in those kind of absolutes too, but you'd be amazed at how a few years can change your perspective on things.
I was once convinced that I was entirely unemployable, I spent every day in the depths of despair, wouldn't leave my apartment for months at a time. a few years later I landed a comfy job, saved enough for a house, now I worked up to management and am doing better than ever.
There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

>shit I don't like the way I look, i've never been desired by anyone, but I learned to love myself.
Fucking this is what I like to see man. Fuck yeah.
I wish that all robots stopped being miserable. I would love to live in a world like that

>"cel"
>can have sex
???
Were your sugar daddies online sugar daddies?

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I may be a faggot but I'm glad I never took the transpill

no? i don't want to have sex with them AT ALL so its not really sex its just work imo. i just lie there like a fucking dead body. boys have sex with me but only once or twice usually. effectively cel with extra steps

How do you like it? You like when guys lick your breasts and slowly put a finger in your butt?

lel probably not the best time bruv
>t.whiteknight i guess

i just want to do secks with a trap ever since i seen this amateur trap porno. I cant explain it.

it's called having a fetish bro.
fuck you for making me say this but, traps are people too not just sex objects for you arousal.
>t. superwhightknight

mmm. Okay yeah. its not really like that. I just like the affection i seen traps show.

yea well it was kind of a heavy conversation before you jumped in here flapping your dick around.

thanks for saying that. im really not even that sexual of a person. i just want to sometimes have sex with a bf. which is why sex work is so fucking terrible for me but thats the only way out that i can see.

lmao...

>girl is lonely
>i know where theres huge faggots who will show me attention
>r9k.

K

im out. Peace

like i saw this article about korean girls getting "plastic surgery loans" to fix their faces, and then being basically stuck in sex trafficking by the lender. and i don't even know how to go about that but i'd definitely rather be trafficked with a nice face than stay here.

I honestly have no moral objection to sex work, I know it can be degrading if you don't enjoy it. Have you tried maybe chaturbate? trans are pretty successful there, and there's really no judgment. Something you could even do with a bf.

>be trap
>want to suicide
kek, its like pottery, what you've got is a mental illness, you're a man. no amount of hormones, makeup, surgery, and whatever other things you do to doll yourself up is gonna make you a woman, youll be a sissy faggot at best, a slut for other men to use, a cocksleeve, at worst you'll end up dead once you realize there's no going back, and the hormonal changes have fucked you up for good. you'll sit there at 30, wondering what could have been, if only you hadn't been such a failure to your parents, you'll probably have 30 different STDs if you don't already from being a sex worker, your sphincter will be abnormally large and you'll probably have to wear adult diapers because your asshole has been plowed so much

no one's gonna read this shit chief

did chaturbate for a while. made like 50-150 per show. stopped because people started posting gifs of me in trap threads on Jow Forums and i didn't want anyone to see

Thanks bro for the totally original thought.

well sounds like they found you attractive...i mean, /b/ is just another place where people go to jerk off like chaturbate.

actually, thanks. i can look cute on a low quality webcam. im gonna try chaturbate again for a week but stay fully clothed until someone buys a private show and then go from there. if i can manage to make 2000 a month then i can at least get a loan for my surgeries.

or wear a mask even. I used to do chaturbate too and I would wear a mask...it was super liberating.

glad to hear it. there's other sites too like manycam or xvideoslive, I see a lot of models doing a show on multiple sites at once, I'm sure they make way more money that way.

>Tranny suicidal because he can't mutilate his body
>I-IT'S NOT A MENTAL ILNESS, TRANSPHOBE! TRANSMISOGYNY!

>korean trap
Licky licky, licky on my blicky uh

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actually, im mentally ill because of gender dysphoria, which exists because of how compulsory heterosexuality and cisgenderism are forced on us.

in a fair society, that social norm wouldn't exist, and neither would the gender binary, and thus i wouldn't want or need surgery.

but it does, so i do. is that really so hard to understand? can u really not grasp how trans people themselves are completely valid, while the society that they live in is oppressive, and causes them to seek out surgeries and hormones so they feel safer, less dysphoric, and closer to the standards of gender and beauty? o.o

also i use she/her pronouns, i guess i should have included that..

many people are very judgy yes, and hate anything that is outside their definition of normal.
Try not to listen to them, try not to care.
Always care about your own opinion of yourself, and always love yourself first and foremost.
Don't let other people define you or what you should be. I know that's easier said than done, but it is possible i promise.

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i know. thats how it should be. but thats not how society works right now. self love has no value.

no, you're just mentally ill and should be on medication, not hormones
get off Jow Forums and get a job

it does if it has value to you. It has value to me. Maybe not material value but It's why I'm not depressed anymore, and that's valuable af.

sounds like you didn't read the thread and you should just leave :)

that's just not a life i want to live, i guess. i don't want to force happiness on myself when it's so easy for conventionally attractive people, ya know? it's not worth it to me. i'd rather be asleep forever.

It's not about forcing it, it takes time, it's not something that happens overnight, but it so is worth it.
It's not about the conventionally attractive people, it's about you.
Don't let them define who you are or how you perceive your value.

>transgenderism isn't gender dysphoria
what are you talking about? So... Is transgenderism 'born this way' or a result of society?

i just cant! i cant be someone who makes their own happiness. i need to be the other person who's happiness comes easily because they are attractive and likable. people online treat me like im so cute and perfect and tell me i must have a boyfriend. i want, and need, that life. im not going to waste time on fixing whatever is wrong on the inside. i honestly only care about the outside because i've personally seen how it creates happiness for myself and others.

Sounds like you're at the end of your rope faggot

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Why don't you go to your containment board, surely they will be more empathetic

most trans people experience gender dysphoria... but gender dysphoria only exists bc of the gender binary and gender norms, etc.

no one is born with any gender, it's socially constructed. the way i was socialized as a kid, and perhaps as a result of certain genetics, made me prefer femininity, which in *this* society translates into being a girl.

does that make sense like i can explain further but that seems pretty simple

it gets easier the longer you go. first come acceptance then gradually comes happiness.
Relying on others for gratification and superficialities is no way to live.
You are worth loving yourself, and you are are worth trying to help yourself.

Gender isn't a social construct, it is the stereotype of how biological males and females behave. The chemicals in your brain determine how you act and feel. So if you are a normal, functioning person there is no difference between your sex and gender. Not saying gender dysforia isn't a thing or whatever, just saying people who are trans are mentally I'll faggots

hmm, the american psychological association disagrees with you, but ok sweaty

kill your usurers

you have nothing to lose but your chains

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can someone kill my dad do u think his life insurance is at least 100k lol

>(((american psychological association)))

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>Expecting empathy from a far right wing image board

>far right image board
you mean far left image board, user

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it's pretty mixed actually...
diversity of thought is the best kind of diversity.

People aren't only willing to have sex with you, they are willing to pay you for it. The fact those people are unattractive to you is irrelevant. You're volcel.

A lot of people do jobs they hate for shit pay, you have the potential to make a few hundred an hour, just because your customers will be ugly doesn't mean shit, stop being volcel and pay your debts

lol i am new here and i got the impression that it was far left mixed with far right, but that the far right people are really fucking stupid lol

everyone has the capacity to feel

never heard that term before haha. but if sex is ur goal, shouldn't ur goal be sex that u... enjoy