Watching The Lion King with younger cousin

>watching The Lion King with younger cousin
>gets to the part where Mufasa gets trampled to death by the wildebeest
>cousin looks me straight in the eyes and says she would cry if I died
>suddenly overcome with a weird sense of guilt because I have a revolver under my bed and have been planning to kill myself before New Year's

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Don't let anybody get in the way of your plans.

Shout "WELCOME TO LIFE, KID" and blast your brains all over her right there.

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if you kys:
>she cries for a bit
>doesn't understand what happened
>completely forgets you existed in a year or 2
>grows up and becomes typical whore

if you don't kys:
>you two become more distant
>she basically forgets you exist
>grows up and become a typical whore
don't let some future whore stop you
remember the reasons that you got the revolver and that the world is shitty and unfair

I kind of understand what you mean

>finally decide it's time to let go
>I'm actually excited of having the courage to finally do it
>had bought a rope and prepared the knot some days prior
>for some reason can't find it anywhere
>desperately look for it, don't want to let go of this opportunity
>after some hours I give up
>hours later mom comes home
(she has a copy of my keys, my country is really unsafe so it's for security)
>I greet her as if nothing had happened
>she gives me a tiny bag
>I open it and there's a small bat plushie, one of those beanie boos
>told me she felt really bad because of an argument we had
>she just wants me to be happy so as soon as she saw this plush she remembered how much I like bats and got really excited
>you could see how happy she was to be giving me this
>mfw if I had found the rope she'd be seeing me hanging dead instead with the tiny plushie in her hands

I don't know why, but this really got to me.. I know it's stupid, but seeing her so happy, thinking of me and how to cheer me up, giving me that tiny plushie that she specifically got for me, and imagining her standing there with it, never being able to deliver it just.. really fucks me up. Worst part is I still want to do it, but I don't want to hurt her, ever. I still cherish that little bat and have it in my bed.

based
(muted for 2 seconds)

>completely forgets you existed in a year or 2
Yeah, it's not like kids are vulnerable to traumatic events and can receive life long scars from them or anything.

who cares?
she'll probably write about it to get some creative writing project done or something

He has a point here
You should hold off on any suicide, OP. I'd wait to see how she turns out. If she becomes some typical whore, I'd just end it. It's what I'm going to do in regards to my sister if she becomes that way.

went through similar shit

>hell bent on necking myself by the end of the year
>dad finds out and opens up to me about how he's also going through hell and back
>turns out he blames himself a lot for not being there for me due to his work and tries to shoulder it all alone
>motherfucker, i should've know better since mom is the densest living thing known to man and i'm pretty much a 1:1 copy of my dad
>messiah complex kicks in
>completly ignore my state and star focusing entirely on helping my old man make it out
>after all he doesn't deserve it, he's been through too much to give me the life i have only to have it end up in misery
>i'm still a shell of a man, not really sure i can keep on for much longer and the fact that i'm not being able to help my dad is making my messiah complex tear me apar
>every night i think i'm on the brink of colapse, but then i remember the genuine fear and regret in the eyes of my father as he said "i don't want to leave you alone user, i can't leave you alone again but it's getting too much for me"
>tfw don't know if i'll be able to keep myself from an hero if dad makes it out before me
it's really fucking though to have someone actually care for you when you're knee deep into the easy way out, makes it all the more difficult to make the choice

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